New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ally I agree with you - I have been reading him for years. I was blown away when I found out that he was an alkie too !!!! He has done so much and changed so many peoples lives !!! I really like his books so much! How are things going with your dad ?

Hugs, Sun XX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello Teezah,
I'm so glad you are doing well on the Topa, at least as far as cutting down on the drinking, and hope for you to feel better anxiety wise also. I want to comment on your situation with you daughter, hope it might help a little. We also have a child (my granddaughter) with a disability, she is still very young so we don't know yet how the future will play out, but I really understand your worry about what will happen with your child as an adult.

I don't know what kind of disability your child has but I know that it is awful to worry about what will happen when she grows up, where and how will she live, and who will take care of her when you are no longer there. We have asked ourselves those same questions and it is still way down the road as far as her being an adult, but for now her parents have appointed a "god-mother" for her in case something happens to them before she grows up, and that is about it for now as she is still a baby.

So, I know what you are going thru, and I would say to try not to expend your energy worrying about 6 years in the future, but try to use that energy now to start finding out what organizations and resources are out there for her situation for the future. I know that a good support system is the most important thing. Please PM me if you want to talk more or more privately.

Love and Peace to you:h
play

[teezah]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Better today although the imps are still dancing about in the periphery of my brain. I did a bit of googling on the depressive se of topa and it is out there. some folks persevere, and some give up. sooooo I'm going to plough on through for a few more days and if it does not improve, do what sunshine says and titrate down. the reason I'm not titrating down straight away is because i know the source of the depression so hopefully can rationalise all those little imps back to the hell they came from! and sun, I really appreciated that quick reply - i needed to know that there was a plan for me out there!! i'll keep checking in.

play, thank you for your kind and empathy filled words. it is all too rarely that i speak to people whom understand my situation. i am usually very good at living mindfully and in the moment, making decisions as they are needed and not looking too far into the future. it was just the flippin' topa messing with my head that got me worrying, worrying, worrying. i was in her school yesterday and she had moved up a class and wasn't coping with the change. rather dealing with that situation, my brain decided to generalise my worries across the board! damn it! today was much better and i had a very constructive discussion with her class teacher. of course it will be difficult when she becomes an adult, but we'll deal with that when we come to it - and hopefully we will come to it because her health is never that good but anyhow....back to normality hopefully if I can just get used to this topa...!!

have / hope you have had a lovely tuesday....we've been approved for a grant for an extention for a room for my daughter today! so excited...it's going to make a difference to her quality of life.

and i'm still alcohol free and love it :h

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, teezah and play:
Teezah: I also experienced depression on topa, so it's definitely out there as a SE.
Sounds like you and play have a lot in common... It's so hard not to worry about the future... I'm sure those thoughts just keep coming back everyday...

I gotta go back to read a few more posts.

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dear Ally, thanks for PCIP information, I will definately keeep it in mind.

Meggie, wow, I've vaguely heard of the Silva system, I thought it was a system for tutoring children and adults of course in math and reading and such things, I will look it up tonight and read about it. I'm always attracted to new ways of learning about spiritual concepts, especially fun easy to read stuff, Wayne Dyer is good and Stuart Wilde is absolutely hilarious and probably actually the easiest to read because he is so engaging and I don't have any trouble understanding what he is talking about.

Hi Space, how are you? I still have your little christmas present that I took to Spain with me, it is sitting here on my table waiting for me to mail it, I'm so terribly awful about getting things in the mail, so you will have a little christmas in february hopefully

Hi Stuck, I think you are doing grand!!!

Sun, how are you doing on cutting down before the 11th? I'm wondering if I actually will be able to cut down and now worrying about withdrawl symptoms, Stuck say probably we don't drink enough to worry about that, but OMG how awful that would be to start the AB and have withdrawl and have to go to ER, YIKES, it scares me.

ok, bye for now, dinner, and a movie, I'm working alot these days.

love and peace to all,
play

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all -
Just catching up here - sorry I have been gone so long. Stuff interferes. But it is with great interest I'm reading about Sunny & Play doing AB for a few days then drinking weekends. I'm wondering how you'll do that. Do you take AB everyday or just one dose on Monday? I'll be really interested to hear how that goes. When do plan to start?

Seems like you're just in the talking & planning stages. I'm all hats off and totally curious to see how it works for you. The very idea of drinking on AB is a pretty strong motivator not to! Will you just be taking one does on Monday and then letting it go thru your system until Fri/Sat?? Maybe I didn't read enough details, I just sort-of skimmed thru the last few pages of posts.

But if you have success with this method, I may definitely try it too! I'll stay tuned...

I am thinking seriously of a visit to WTE in March...trying to figure it out. Wish we could do a reunion like we'd planned last summer. Maybe summer again? I am planning on a rendevouz w/ a "boytoy" (boitoi) in Puerto Rico this summer, so don't know how much travel I can fit in during the summer. Thus, the idea of a visit to see/meet her finally over my spring break. Will let you know.

Sounds like alls relatively well w/ everyone else. A quick post here for now. Hang in there, everyone!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi friends, I have just typed a long post and a pop up appeared on my laptop then my post dissapeared, I will try to start again but am unhappy that I lost what I just wrote, it was with feeling and I dont think I can repeat it.

Tezah, I so understand your depression, when we have depression it magnifies worries until they take over everything, if it is the topa causing it then you should definately come down or you may have to stop it all together, then you will be able to function properly and be of more help to your daughter and see the situation more clearly. Although my eldest son is not ill in the way your daughter is I do worry about who will help him when Ive gone, it is a big driving force tho in my sorting out my drink problem, he told me he needed me once a few years ago and those words have stuck with me, I was killing myself with the amount I was drinking and want to live to be with my children. You are doing so well with the not drinking and everything else so please try to start looking at the here and now again, sometimes I have to think what is the best or only thing I can do for the next few minutes and those minutes turn into hours when my mind has been free of the invaders. I am thinking of you and sending you my best of wishes across the big ocean.

Play how wonderfull of you to think of my christmas present, I also have one for you but for some odd reason I keep forgetting about it and need to post it, I also have a little something for you Sun that is still in my living room and I havent got round to posting yet. I will move them so they are in sight to try and remember to get them in the post soon.

I am seeing my gp (doc) this afternoon, I want to ask him about changing my pain conrol as since I have been taking tramadol I havent been well, although it is great at the pain in my bodie I gives me horribke headaches which last for weeks, in fact I think I have had a headache for about 2 months now and am sitting here with one of those cold strips stuck to my forhead but I cant walk round like that all the time can I? imagine the looks I would get going shopping with that on my head lol. I have also been back in bed feeling so bad and when I went to see my psychiatrist on Monday it was not good, it was a different guy from the nice easy to talk to one I have been seeing and he didnt seem to hear what I was saying to him that the things he was suggesting to me I already know about but am unable to do, like going to the gym and making a list of activities to fill my week, it sounds all very good in theory but I just cant do it yet, it is too much of a jump for me to go from being in bed most of the time unable to even get up and get washed and changed to 40 hours of activities a week. Each time I tried telling him I didnt think I could do it he just carried on about it so I just say there and nodded and said ok just to get out of there as I was getting anxious about what he was going on about and the fact that he didnt seem to be listening to me. Why the hell do I do that, now I dont have an appointment for another two months and that one was just a waste.

Houxt it sounds like your thinking of joining Sun and Play on the non drinking weekdays, how exciting that your even thinking about it.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I am still writing but have cut it into two as I dont want to risk loosing another long post again.

Play I seriously dont think either you or Sun drink enough to be at risk of ending up in ER due to withdrawals. In my non medical trained opinion that fact that you can get up and go to work and be ok prooves that you are not at the alcohol deprendant stage. When my drinking was bad the first thing I NEEDED when I woke up was a drink, I would be vomiting, shaking and sweating until I got enough alcohol into my system. For the fisrt few days tho you may find the craving is bad and you could well have difficulty sleeping and maybe be a bit shaky or sweating and it really would be best to try and cut down a bit before you start, that will help a lot. My worry is that you say your not sure if you can cut down, the AB does not help with the cravings the way other meds might do, it only works on a psychological level in that you know you cant drink safely once you have taken it, is this worrying you at all or are you looking forward to the freedom not bei9ng bogged down by alcohol all the time will bring.

Hi to everyone else, sorry I havent mentioned you but I think Ive said enough for now

xx

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi All, so glad everyone is posting, I'm running out to work but back later. Last night I did manage to cut down by one glass of wine, so it was less than a bottle, YAY!!!

Bye for now

[Alcoholic]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, space: good luck at your doctor's!! Frankly I'm happy to hear you maybe getting off tramadol... I've seen so many people getting hooked on it... Hopefully you will find something that will help you...

Play and Sun: you guys probably know I cannot give any advice about AB and such things.... So sorry..... But just know I really care about you guys..... I'll talk to you via email or pm more if you want ....

I'm going off topa, guys... Couldn't do math this morning.... Couldn't play songs I've known for years!!! I'm developing dementia. I can't work like this. I'll get fired.... Ok.... I love the weight loss though.... But It's not worth the loss of IQ.... Didn't have much to begin w... Can't afford to lose that much!!!!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for your concirn Ally, strangely I wasnt bothered by the thought of tramadol being addictive I just want a pain killer that works for me, but tramadol wasnt th one, it was great for my body pain but gave me such awful headaches, so now I am back on cocodamol, which I was taking before, its not as effective as tramadol for my back legs and arms but doesnt give me the headaches. If this doesnt work tho and I am still getting the headaches it may not have been the tramadol causing them but the epilim, I dont know if it can do this, I do hope not as the effect it has had on my drinking is so amazing I would hate to have to come off it.

You are not getting dementia it is just the topa and as you where taking it for the weight loss not the drinking it is not worth it.

I do feel sad that people are not finding success with topa, I know the first time I took it it had a good effect on my drinking and enabled me to cut right down, I stopped because I was getting that all day long awful anxiety which turned out to be caused by the risperadol I was taking at the time anyway not the topa at all.

xx

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all
Going through a bit of a rough patch, will catch up tomorrow when less anxious. Doing my 3rd weekday AF AB trial. Noticed on my container that I have the extra large pills, so I'm taking 300mg (3/4 of 400mg) every Monday and its cleared out by Saturday afternoon. My advice for you would be to take 200mg, it is usually what's recommended per day, I'm not sure if any less than that will be effective for longer than 3 days but you're welcome to experiment, I just know 400mg is too strong for me to metabolise in 5 days. I don't get sick on the saturday per say but drinking is not enjoyable and I get a mild headache, a bit of a bummer after a week of being good.
Take care,
D X

[teezah]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, you are so right about the here and now! Today has again been a lot better for me. The anxiety is greatly reduced and certainly nothing near Saturday's level. Hope, hope, hope I'm getting used to this dose. It's still working it's magic on alcohol as I have no desire to drink. I hope you find some effective pain medication soon.

Play - well done on cutting back ahead of the big day!!

Dizzy - hang on in there!!

Group hug to all. :hug:

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Teezah - did you cut back? Or are you still on the same level? It takes the 300mg for me to get the depression. And that is the level I need to get the effect for the not drinking - SIGH Oh well - on to the next plan for me. SO Happy it is still working for you - it is magic stuff - but if you come off it - beware - it never seems to work the same after that!!

Diz - sorry things are not going terrribly well for you. What is up ? I need to find out what dosage I am taking - WILL be taking, of the Ant.... but will still be taking just a half anyway!

oh - have to go - be back later,

love, sun XXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Okay - sorry about that -i had to cut out quickly but am back now. Now - where was I? Gosh - sort of a lot to talk through...... Space - I so feel for you with the pain issues. I am SO lucky - I rarely have pain - my little finger hurts - LOL - as I have arthritis in it and this new job isn't helping, but apart from that, I never get pain. I would hate to have what you are going through - I cannot imagine what it must be like - I never get headaches - on the VERY rare occasion that I do - I really suffer - so I do empathise. I don't know what it is best for you to do.

Dizzy - I am not sure what dosage I am taking - but rest assured, even if I don't know, I am still just taking a half and still not drinking until the saturday. AB freaks me out BIG time !!!

Ally - I quite understand the Topa dopa. It can be bad. I just kept thinking it was old age with me. and it might be. Who knows? LOL ! I will be e-mailing you - once I get my stuff sorted. Which I still haven't. Sorry.

Play - I think you did wonderfully cutting down your wine to under a bottle - you are doing better than me. I had thought I was cutting down my Guinness this evening and then Hubs brought me some home because he knew I didn't have much - Oh gosh - SO sweet of him, but OH GOSH !!!! Not good. so of course I have been drinking it. SIGH.

I know Monday will hit me like a ton of bricks but I will handle it - I won't have a problem (medical) with withdrawal - I KNOW I will as far as night sweats and sleeplessness but am ready for that, unless I CAN cut down before then. I have night sweats anyway - but am assuming that is the AL - right ? Night sweats if you do - night sweats if you don't !!! So - night sweats either way.

Hi Houtx - YES - why don't you join us with our Mon-Fri AL free? We plan on starting on Monday next. The 11th. I have very high hopes this will work for us, and so does Play. Yes, we will be taking one dose on the monday then if we want to, drinking on the Saturday and Sunday then taking a tab again on the Monday. Either skyping or on the phone to do it together. We WILL do this. I am so freaked about AB that there is no way I will drink after taking it - at least until the saturday so it works really well. Once it is popped - well, NO choice !!!! Play and I have a really good support system in place and you are welcome to join us.

I need to get going - again - LOL. Love and hugs to all,

Oh - Teezah - I wanted to say - that a lot of folk say that this thread is not about Topa - I would like to say that if anyone has a problem or question, that we are here for you !!!! Although very few of us are taking it these days, between us all, we have so much knowledge of it - hopefully one of us can help !!!!!

Love, Sun XXXX