New here and starting Topa and with a question

[struggles]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good morning! I am in tears this morning reading all the posts.I stumbled again yesterday and I am exhausted, almost like I have mono. I know it will take a little while for the topa to kick in, my my anxiety and cravings are HORRENDOUS! I did not get the cravings this bad when I was on the topa a year ago...in fact, I was surprised how much I didn't. It seems I do well until around 3pm and then the cravings start and it drives me crazy. My head gets fuzzy and all I think about is getting beer and I'll just have a couple...that never works and I know it, but I can't get my STUPID brain to understand Does anyone have anything that they take that works quick when those cravings hit? I get sweaty palms and nervous thinking about that stupid drink...like I was going on a first date. LOL

I decided that this time I will try to taper down the drinking and I'm pretty sure that is not going to work so going AF completely is how I have to do it. I spoke to an ex boyfriend who is a good friend of mine and he used to drink like me and one day, he just said I quit and he did. My current boyfriend did the same. It makes me wonder if a woman's brain is wired different that I can't just quit because my brain doesn't listen.

So, two questions. Are there any videos, youtube videos, books or cds that will help you how to "retrain" your brain? I have a hard time with the hypnosis cds, my brain will not SHUT off to relax. I start thinking about making dinner, doing laundry, work, cleaning...it's crazy.

Second question, any supplement to keep on hand or even a food or snack that I can carry with me to help with the cravings?

Have a great Monday, everyone:h

[Twinkle Girl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Could anyone please tell me a good, reliable site to order Topamax online? I am in the UK and my doctor will not prescribe it for me. I'm a 42 year old female with a 20 year addiction to wine (1-2 bottles at a time). I manage to go 3 or 4 days AF each week and then my cravings get the better of me. Weekends are the worst. The shameful thing is I have a wonderful husband, loving children and sucessful business but once I hit the wine, I cannot stop and I'm tired of my sneaky behaviour. I rarely get to the stage where I'm falling down drunk (just say I'm having an early night) so my husband is not really aware of how bad my addiction is and I feel too guilty to bring it up. I guess I'm a functioning alcoholic but really need to get a grip of this addiction and am hoping Topamax may help. Is there anyone else out there from the UK who has managed to get Topamax on prescription for alcohol related issues and has it been successful?

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, I've used | medical and pharmaceutical articles at goldpharma with lots of success in the past delivery takes about 10 days.

[Twinkle Girl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Many thanks Dizzy, I went onto the site & changed language to English but there seem to be loads of different options for Topamax. Sorry for being so dim but which one's would you go for? The JANSSEN-CILAG brand have an image of the box but the writing isn't in English! How are you getting on with the Topa? Thanks and all the best

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Twinkle

The thing is I have ordered lots of other stuff but my Topa is prescribed. I take the generic Toplep and it works wonders for me and recently I found out Topalex is made by the same company that makes Topamax.

I've never been disappointed with their generics but it is tough to choose one, I usually try to choose one that's affordable but not too foreign in name... Sorry I can't be of more use, if there is one made in Spain or that 'sounds' right go for that, they are mostly on par in my experience even if not in English.

Space, sorry for my angry message, we are both on edge and I appreciate what you said earlier today. Let's not let a stupid government that is upsetting us both come in the middle of our friendship. I actually hate politics and never talk about it. Hugs my friend, I hope both our appeals work out.

XOX

[Jay-J]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Twinkle,

The the one I use is Jannsen. It should be fine. The one on the site is just made in Spain, but it's the same thing.

Thanks space! Yes, things are good with me Hope it stays that way!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all
Twinkle I used to order from 4nrx-uk.md and had no problems from them. not sure which one I got it was generic and came in a box.

I agree Dizzy, I do hope both our appeals are successful, we will both have something to celebrate then and I value you as a friend too much to want to fall out with you xx

Stuggles, I cant think of any videos off hand but you could try googling as I do think I have seen some in the past that kind of describe addiction and recovery. but cant remember where. I dont know if there is a difference between sexes but there is a massive difference in the way people deal with things, also there is all the reasons why you drink and the effect it has on you which I think is why some people have an easier time of stopping than others. It has taken me years of battling with it to even start to get any sort of place where I dont feel like it is the main part of my life. Keep trying and keep posting, one thing I do know for a fact is that coming on here and posting has been the best thing I have ever done in regards to my drinking, it really is the thing that has helped me more than anything else I ever tried. As for suppliments theres L glut, kudzu, probably a whole lot more people have used, look on the holistic thread, food and drink, well eat or drink anything (non al) when the craving hits I think if it will take your mind off wanting a drink. You can sort any weight issues later, do one thing at a time. good luck xx

Keep up the good work Jay

love to everyone else

space xx

ps. I saw my pdoc yesterday and he has changed my meds so hopefully I will start to get better with the help of them, one of them tho takes 3 months to work up to the doseage which seems a very long time to wait but at least I any trying it and theres nothing I can do about the time it will take. I am still taking the epilim tho that is working for me in other ways so have that to cover me while I wait.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space - I have not commented much on your posts - not anyone's really as I tend to lose them! But just wanted to say I read your posts very closely. I appreciate your struggle/your fight to survive...you seem like one on here who is consistently troubled with the shit LIFE throws us...and I want to say I am so impressed and inspired by the fact you managed to QUIT.

I know there are other factors going on in your life that are difficult, to say the least, but hope you will continue to post here, and offer some strength, inspiration, and hope.

Others - same. I am actually excited and looking forward to when the AB gets here...

Late at night & all I can do for now. Thanks all - for being here for me!!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you for saying that Houxt, it means a lot to me. I am glad you are posting more nowadays :l

love to all xx

[WaitingToExhale]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

A quick shout out to all…..
Sun and I have had a wonderful visit – she is a DOLL! And Charlie will be heartbroken when she leaves as well.

The last few days have been a bit dreary weather-wise and so we have played “slugs” on the sofa and taking Charlie for short walks. I managed to take a few days off – but about to be back to the grind! HA!

Sun is just now packing up as we leave in about an hour for the airport. I am going to MISS HER!!!

Love and hugs to all and just wanted to say a quick hello to everyone!

WTE & Charlie

PS: Houtx– I am SO excited to hear about you and the AB and how it goes! You are giving me courage! Well, you and Sun and all the rest …. Although I can’t say we were very well behaved during this vaca …..

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I am home..... had a really long day - flights delayed 'cos of the blizzard in denver. REALLY long day and am exhausted. had an awesome time - WTE is such a great person to stay with but yes, we weren't very well behaved.

I will try and catch up with everyone when I get home from work tomorrow. Just wanted to do a fly by and say hi to all........

Love and hugs, Sun XXX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun & WTE - sounds like a great visit! Can't wait to hear details of conversations & thoughts, what y'all did with our dawg, etc!! lol Isn't Charlie the coolest?? He is such a love bug. One morning I was sitting at WTE's kitchen counter that curves into the LR...Charlie came and just stood there with his big ol' doggy neck & head resting on my foot...actually keeping me warm & snuggly. He is such a cool dude of a dawg!!
Glad y'all had a good time hanging out. Maybe we can plan another group "retreat" in 2013 - 2014. Somewhere...

So I'm waiting for the AB to arrive and seriously psyching myself up for a 5/7 routine. Will take all advice like a sponge. I'm thinking whatever form the tabs come in, splitting them in half or even quarters. I wrote a note to myself: 1/2 tab 200 mg AB on Monday, no drinking til Sat. I can't remember what mg of tabs I ordered, but I want to go AF Sun - Thurs and be able to drink Fri & Sat. Maybe take the tab Sun night or something after the wine has run thru my system??

Thoughts??

I'm actually psyching myself up for it bigtime. "Practicing" my thoughts of coming home & not being able to drink, alternatives, not overeating in response...I'm seriously hoping for weigh loss in addition to other healthy side-effects...my summer rendevouz w/ the younger man is a HUGE motivator. So, I'm kinda pumped to do the AB thing. A bit worried I will have anxiety/withdrawal...but I think with the idea of the reward of wine at the end of the abstinence (5 days!!??), I can do it. I really really really want to make some healthy changes in my life. This is a last-ditch effort. I gotta do this!!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

A swift drive by as I am getting ready for work...... Houtx, will reply later but yes, you do get to the point where you really get psyched about it. Play and I - and dizzy too, can give lots of advice - will be back later on. Must get ready for work,

Love, sun XX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OKAY ! Finally have a few minutes.....

Houtx - I think it is great that you are getting the AB - I did psych myself up to taking it and take mine Monday morning. At LEAST 12 hours after your last drink. So you cannot take it Sunday if you drink...... I will PM you with more detail if you like... Play and I take a half a tab - and I think they are 250mg. The first week that I did it, I had the wrong attitude and 'waited' for saturday. Now, I actually look forward to Monday and taking the darn thing. You just KNOW you cannot drink and for me anyway, it somehow takes all desire away - until Thursday or so, then i start looking forward to the weekend !! Dizzy suggested one has fruit juice when you get in - and I did find that helped. AND I do keep busy - or else go to bed early. But I get way more done in those days when I am AF. The Monday night, depending on what time I stopped drinking on the sunday, I don't sleep well - but if I stop early enough on Sunday, I am okay - but be warned. Your body is so used to going to bed with AL in you. Take a melatonin or something.

WTE - wonderful to see you again !! I had a lovely time and so enjoyed myself. Charlie is awesome as ever. Houtx - we went to the flower trade centre and it was amazing !! If you go back, you need to go there...... also had a meal out that was wonderful - I am terrible to take out, being veggie and not liking pasta - but we went to one restaurant where I had THE BEST MEAL ever !!!! Weather was the pits while I was there but as I told WTE, I wasn't there for the weather.....it was so good to see her again !! We had a fire in the fireplace three times which I loved. All in all, apart from the terrible trip home, it was wonderful! Yes, maybe we can sort out a trip next year - just remember Charlie is MINE !!!

Space - so happy that your p-doc has changed your meds. Hopefully it won't take as long as they say for it to kick in. I so hope that you get to feeling better soon. I am also happy that you and Dizzy are sorted on the other stuff - I would hate for there to be any bad feelings here. I am happy to see that you have both sorted stuff.

Struggles - Oh gosh my heart goes out to you. However, you could do what Play, Dizzy and I are doing. get some Antabuse and take it on a Monday - you can have a drink on the saturday. it is a good way of trying to get AF - Dizzy has been AF for some time - I have to admit to still looking forward to the weekend though! You CANNOT drink when taking AB. It is a shame that the Topa isn't working the same - how high of a dose did you get to before? What are you on now? Topa is NEVER the same when you take it a second time. As for a supplement that helps with the cravings - I have tried both Kudzu and l-Glut together and as long as I take them religiously, they WORK !!!! But you have to take them. They really do help with the cravings.

Hi Twinkle - sorry I didn't say anything before - have been out of state and not checking in as often as I should. I am a Brit but live in USA so not sure how you can get Topa from a doctor - maybe best to order on-line? There are so many places - Play has ordered stuff from River - do they deliver to UK? Anyway keep in touch with us won't you?

Play - where are you? you haven't posted in a while - I know that you are okay, but we need you to post! Hope to contact and chat this evening.

Dizzy - dear Dizzy - have no idea where you are at with your visa - I cannot believe that they declined it !!! Hang in there - things will work out as they are meant to - really they will. I am just so amazed that it was declined - with all the folk that we have entering UK, you are so benign !!! Please keep us updated on what is going on - okay? Hang in there - things WILL work out as they are supposed to !

Bug - it is a while since you posted - where are you? Hope all is well with you..... last time you said that you had gone up to the 75mg - how are you doing on that? keep in touch with us.....

need to go and get some dinner......

love and hugs to all, sun XXX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

What a crazy week news-wise!! Boston rocks! So amazing they shut down the entire city to hunt down that murderous thug. Glad they found his crazy ass alive, and hope he lives to be stoned to death by all the victims and families of those he injured. It's been riveting - esp b/c my classes are studying Russian history. Those classes where the majority of kids have a working brain, we've had great discussions. I didn't even allow a word in the 2 classes where the kids are borderline/bonafide stupid. It's going to be an interesting story to unfold...the Russian bruhthuhs brought incredible shame upon their families and their country. F-ing punk & his brother. Not to mention the huge explosion in West, TX this week - too much horror!! Thank you, Mr Obama for addressing this. I pledge allegiance...

More later - just kindof overwhelmed with the news this week. Hope you & yours are well -