New here and starting Topa and with a question

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Boy do I Need to Catch Up

Hi Everyone,
Gee, so much is going on here with everyone and I've really missed out. Even tho I posted a couple of times in the hospital I really can't even remember that I did it. When I read those posts they actually seem coherent to me which is just unbelievable as that whole time is just a fog. I don't remember the surgeon telling me about the procedure beforehand and don't remember talking to my son everyday on the mobile, just a total fog:upset: and the whole first week home was just almost unbearable I felt so lifeless and sick. But the second week finds me feeling like a living person again and better and better each day.

I must say it was wonderful that I didn't have any need to worry in the ER or in surgery or hospital regarding worrying about Alcohol or even bringing it up, YAY, and didn't drink at all the first week, but by the middle of the second week I was having a bottle a night for 3 nights, then totally sick of that again and on Saturday took my AB and that will hold for this week. I can see that my brain is not RETRAINED yet:H but my AF days are so wonderful and I so look forward to them, I say again it is a relief when I take the 1/2 AB tab and a real treat to have two days off where I don't do too badly, not like a bottle each night, that just started when I hadn't bothered to take the AB.

So, I want to keep encouraging some of you to try the AB 5/7 plan (thanks Dizz) and in all my research I can't find anything dangerous about using it this way so I'm not worried about it at all.

And I have so much to catch up on, I'm going to start a few pages back and just try to address someone each night starting tomorrow night. I have my first day back at work tomorrow, I know I will be exhausted but I really need the money, and thank god I still had my CAL Cobra insurance and had not let it go, that would have been a mess. I had been turned down for the high deductible ins similiar to what WTE has but in the end this turned out better.

Love to Each and Every One of You and see you tomorrow night.
play

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thank you thank you, Space. Perhaps I talked this up too much and made it sound worse than it is, but I'm only taking 1mg of Ativan sometimes in the morning, just to make sure I don't have anxiety from AL withdrawal in the afternoon. So I'm not popping a bunch of pills and drinking on top of it. Not really.

I just get so worried that I'll have an anxiety attack, and of course I never know if it's going to happen until it happens, and when it does it's kind of too late to do anything else. Or, well, unless I was going to go and take like five whiskey shots immediately. But that's really not what I want to do, either.

Anyway, Vegas was OK, and I'm home now. All I wanted to do was chill here at home, have a few beers, watch a movie or something, and relax. But it's one of my good friend's birthdays today, and she's over in West Hollywood at this gay hamburger place. Not "gay" like lame but "gay" like homosexual, and they have Drag Queen Bingo tonight. Ugh. So I guess I'm going to go hang out with a bunch of trannies and get all kinds of gender-confused.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning all !!

Play - good to see you feeling somwehat normal again.... funny you taking your AB on saturday - I NEARLY took mine yesterday after drinking all week with WTE - I missed my AF days ! I think I have got used to taking it now on a Monday and like you, look forward to it ! Takes all pressure/ideas of drinking away.....

Space - gosh yes, it was the citalopram that gave me all that grief - so i really hope that you are okay coming off it - yes, my doc did give me another AD, but it still didn't stop the withdrawal symptoms that I had from the Citalopram - so please watch how you feel.

Great advice from you to Bug and Stuck - not knowing anything about other meds, I have no idea.

Meggie - I have not lost any weight taking the AB but when i drink I tend not to eat as much so when i don't drink, I tend to eat proper meals.

Stuck - can't say I think I would have enjoyed your evening much - but hope that you did. Are you going to try stopping AL again?

Dizzy - I forgot to say that I am so pleased for you that your mum is on the mend - great news! It seemed funny for you to say about snoozing in the autumn sun! It is spring here ! I weeded both yesterday and saturday for a total of 8 hours and have barely scratched the surface of the darn things ! But at least I have made a start and the garden will pull together slowly - it was lovely being back out there and working in the dirt!

Well, I need to get off to work - have a really heavy day today so hopefully will be tired and sleep tonight - usually I don't have any trouble with my first AF night but did have more than I usually do yesterday..... tried to keep it down 'cos of sleep tonight - fingers crossed.

Hugs to all, Sun XX

[bugpieper]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

spacebebe01;1495212 wrote: Stuck, what your doing sounds like your living the young mans dream. Las Vegas for the weekend then back of home to LA. In fact forget the young mans dream, I want to go too!

Oh no its not so good, you said you have to dry out when you get home, crap :upset: that horrible depressing soul destroying time, when everything in your life turns to shit. You will be ok and get through it, you have done it loads of times, too many times, probably more than you can remember. I know this because Ive been there and its not fun.

I think you should keep the bac at a steady dose right now while you are coming off the ale, if your going to go to HDB then start that in a few days when your feeling better. Im concerned about your mixing the Ativan and massive quantities of alcohol, its a dangerous combination, and if your anything like me you loose your judgement about how much Ativan your taking when your drinking too much. Ive taken so many overdoses, not to top myself but to try and not feel so bad but I have been very lucky to escape with my life. Some people arnt, I dont want you to be one of them. I feel like Ive got to know you over the past year or more on here and have come to care about you, I would hate for anything bad to happen. I would love for you to be healthy and happy, in fact thats my wish for you and Im sending it to you tonight.

Take care Stuck x

Thanks for reminding me Sun that it was citalopram you had the problem with, well I have had one hell of a bumpy ride this week on 10mg, got two more 10mg's left then I stop. I think tho a big difference is that you stopped with nothing else whereas I do have the quite a few other meds as a cushion to help keep me stable enough to stay out of hospital or anything drastic like that. Now I have got though this week I am determined to keep going as I dont ever want to repeat this again.

Hi bug, Has all this tiredness started since you went up to 75mg topa and what time of day do you take it. If it has just started then I would say yes its the topa causing it and it could well be that you need to slow down on the titration. You havent said if you are getting this prescribed from a doctor or buying it yourself. I will assume tho that you are buying it otherwise you could just ask your doc for the advice. Its great that you have reduced your drinking by taking the topa. I wonder if you could start reducing the clonazepam while sticking with the topa dose. If you reduce very slowly. Clonazepam has a very slow half life which means that it stays in your system a long time. In fact some of what you take one night will still be affecting you the next night so you have just been topping up on it every day and have not been without it for as long as you have been taking it daily. Withdrawal from any benzo can be very nasty so take your time with this and it may well be best that you tell the doc who prescribes it what you are doing and get some advice from them. Drugs affect differently people differently and also interact differently with each other.

I have just realised that you may not want to cut down on the clonazepam in which case that is your decision and I think you should just titrate up on the topa more slowly and watch out for any unwanted effects to try and minimise them.

Got to go now and get to bed so love to everyone

Space x

Space, mayave i didnt make myself clear i want to quit to clonazepan. so i have started taking .5mg at around 5 and another at bedtime, i was taking 1.5 at bedtime. and i have been taking the total of 75mg of topa for the past 5 days now, for the past 2 at 3 intervals, 1 around 11 1 at around 4 and 1 aound 7. and am still getting tired and headaches.. i told my husband that i am drinking about 8 oz of vodka nightly and he went bizzark . i weight about 135. he called some peole and they all told him that was equivalent to 1.5 bottles of wine, well whatever they told him, i dont know, that may be true all i know is that im not falling down drunk now and i dont wake up hung over so i feel that is an imrovedment? bug

[bugpieper]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, mayave i didnt make myself clear i want to quit to clonazepan. so i have started taking .5mg at around 5 and another at bedtime, i was taking 1.5 at bedtime. and i have been taking the total of 75mg of topa for the past 5 days now, for the past 2 at 3 intervals, 1 around 11 1 at around 4 and 1 aound 7. and am still getting tired and headaches.. i told my husband that i am drinking about 8 oz of vodka nightly and he went bizzark . i weight about 135. he called some peole and they all told him that was equivalent to 1.5 bottles of wine, well whatever they told him, i dont know, that may be true all i know is that im not falling down drunk now and i dont wake up hung over so i feel that is an imrovedment? bug

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Bug

I have a lot of experience with Clonazepam. Keep on with what you're doing for a week and then either only take one at bed time or split the pill in half and take half of it at 5 and half at bed time. That would depend on if you're taking it for anxiety and the sleep benefit or only the sleep benefit. After another week you can then halve it again. Your body does not need Clonazepam but it does need you to taper off slowly. You should actually start to feel less anxious as you cut down.

The good news is you still have Topamax to help calm you as well as the alcohol to make you sleepy but as you taper down on alcohol too, natural sleep will return to you. The wonderful thing is that you will feel clear in the mornings. I know Space said it has a long half life but in my experience and from what I've read the halflife is short, which means it causes withdrawal anxiety the next day, the same as chronic alcohol use. It should ultimately not be used for longer than a month at a time due to the addictive potential.

Your husbands response is understandable but just think, you've already cut down by a lot of AL and one Clonazepam. You are doing well. Taper down slowly. Do not go up on the Topa while feeling so sleepy and keep your eye on the goal - you can do it! Is there perhaps a smaller bottle of vodka you can aim for next or perhaps a sixpack of those pre-mixed vodka drinks?

Hi Sun and Play Will catch up in a bit. Typing on my phone in front of a veggie markets. Will miss our cheap fruit and veggies when (if?) I go back to the UK. I'm teaching myself how to make lots of yummy chinese and japanese dishes this week.I love how my appetite is not spoilt when I don't drink. The chow mein was lovely and trrying teryaki (spell?) Beef strips) with noodles tonight. I found this sight where you can create and share your own e cookbook and then print it when you are ready. Perhaps I should offer to make one for my mom with alll her 'secret' recipes.

XOX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OK, I'd like to clarify that Clonazepam does not have a short half-life like I said, it is only much shorter than valium/diazepam. Clonazepam stays in your body 18-50 yours and Valium does 20-100 hours. I don't think you will suffer withdrawal if you half your dosage. In half every week. If you feel anxious by the time you only take one pill, then take it for 2 weeks before titrating down to half. And don't scoff at the 1/4 pill, we need you to safely withdraw. Do you want to talk about whether these pills are prescribed? No judgement but its quite a high dosage.
D XOX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Play Im so glad that your starting to feel yourself again, it must have been such a shock for you but now your recovering so thats good. How long do you get off work have they told you or do you see how it goes. I do hope your still getting plenty of rest and trying to eat well. Its also good your back off the drink, that would have just made you feel worse and slowed down healing I think.

Sun I havent really read how you are doing, your posts are always so much about helping everyone else but I sometimes wish youd tell us more about whats going on for you. Are you still enjoying work, and now doing your garden as well, you keep so busy I really dont know how you do it, I wish I had half your energy do you think its because your a veggie and eat so well? I really should take a leaf out of your book, one thing I always advise other people to do is eat well but I wish I could take my own advice because I still dont. This week I will really have to start trying. How are you getting on with hubby, is your daughter still with you.

Dizzy are you still not drinking, do you take AB all the time when you do that. Still not heard anymore about the visa? the waiting is hard, Im still waiting to hear about my appeal, they wrote and told me I wouldnt hear anything for 3 months or more.

Bug I think you should try to ignore your hubby's comments, I can understand why he said it because hes worried about you but you need to avoid negativity as much as you can. You are doing really well, remember you are cutting down on both alcohol and clonazepam at the same time so you should probably go slower than if you where doing one at a time. Dont worry tho, slow and careful wins the race so keep thinking of the end prize you will get and how much better you will start to feel.

Stuck now your back home and maybe getting back to normal routine what do you plan to do. I am assuming that you must be running out of ativan soon and think it would be easier for you to cut back on the drinking first. Hows it going with the baclofen. You have done well in the past and you are so young it would be great for you to be able to sort this out now. I really wish I had done something about my drinking when I was young, my life and the lives of my children would have been compleately different if I had. You have so many opportunities ahead of you and it is a shame to waste so much time getting pissed, because lets face it, it really is boring isnt it. Just the same old, same old, go to the bar, go to the shop, get drunk wake up feeling rough and in my own experience the longer you do it the more it chips away at your life.

Houxt how you doing, still waiting on the delivery? Are you looking forward to it.

I am pretty much the same, my mum isnt well again I am getting worried about her, this keeps on happening where she is just not well for a few days, theres nothing majorly wrong but I saw her yesterday and she looked pale and soo tired and just not herself at all, then I spoke to her this morning and she was still in bad at 11am which isnt like her at all, she is always up and showered (for some reason I can never understand). Im still waiting on my benefits and feeling pretty desparate about it really, now I jsut cant see any future for us at all, I am not able to get a job even if there where any, which there arnt and really really dont know what to do if I stop and think about it for too long. My anxiety and aggitation has been going through the roof and I am dealing with it temporarily by taking valium but if this is the situation for months on end that is not the answer.

On a more positive note I did one of the wendi guided meditations this morning and hope to be able to get back into those, last year when I was doing them regularly I did feel so much better for it. I also need to excercise to help with the way I feel and have been saying I will start going out walking since forever, but I do it a couple of times then miss a day then thats it, I dont bother again because I just dont have the motivation to do it on my own, olus the fact that it gets boring walking on my own all the time as well. So I found a out they have a zumba class in the community centre by me and I hope to go tomorrow, my daughter says she wants to come as well. I used to really enjpoy doing exercise classes, they do yoga on a Friday as well. I know I am very unfit and I need to be extra careful because of my fibromyalgia but I am looking forward to feeling better even while this stress with my benefits is going on. The only other option open to me is to spend another 3 months in bed with major depression and I really dont want to go there again/

If I have missed anyone out I am sorry I didnt intend to and hope to catch you soon

Space x

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well I'm back home, Space, but the normal routine seems to be wasting a lot of time getting pissed every night. Yesterday was particularly, um, bad I guess you'd say. I just got wasted at the bar watching a terrible, terrible hockey game. And then ate tacos and bought a bottle of booze and got home and sexy-texted this woman back home, the one who wanted me to get her pregnant. And wow, she's a naughty girl. I might be a little "in" love right back at her now...

Well, today's another day, right? I'm getting bac up to 30mg/day today, just took 20mg this morning and going to take 10mg tonight, and we'll see how that goes. At some point I'd like to be up to at least about 40mg, with 30mg in the morning, as that works really well for withdrawal.

I am almost out of the Ativan, and yesterday instead of taking one I started drinking pretty early. Today I will probably start drinking fairly early, too, but I don't feel nearly so bad this morning. I think because of the bac.

Hope y'all are well. :l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there ! Home from the salt mines - it is pouring with rain...AGAIN.... so any hopes I had of weeding tomorrow are out ......

Space - what a delightful post from you !! You might be struggling a lot but you are sounding pretty good. There really is no point in worrying about what might happen - you have no control over it and worrying will not help you at all, but I can understand why you are and how you must be feeling. Just hang in there my friend and put out positive vibes !! You will be in my thoughts - i so wish there was more I could do for you.

As far as me - I am doing really well. Had a wonderful time with WTE although we probably drank too much !! It was a relief to take the AB this Monday !! LOL At least now I can't/won't drink for a few more days. Then I am going to try to keep it down at the weekend. Makes for the Monday night sleep much better ! My family are doing fine thanks, yes our daughter is still with us and will be for about another year or so, but I get on so well with her, I don't mind. She is a good kid - well, not a kid but you know what I mean.

I am lucky in that I always have energy - always have had, so feel like the Energizer Bunny at times. Work is going really well - absolutely still love my new job !!! I am so happy that I changed my position ! Yesterday was brutal but it was a good tired at the end of the day. I don't think my energy is 'cos I am veggie or either that I eat particularly well. I have never eaten junk food simply 'cos I don't care for it, but I do like the odd sweet stuff - like Cadbury Cream eggs !!! After Easter here they went on sale and I bought a stash - but have only had a few so far!

The garden is still very weedy - it is too early here to plant yet as we are still having frosts, but I have been doing weeding to try to ready it for when i can plant - I love getting out in the garden - it feels so good !!

Hubs and I are just fine - it has surprised me that with him retiring, that we have been fine ! I was dreading it but in fact am enjoying it. He has actually got himself a part-time job - he can only earn a certain amount a month 'cos otherwise they take it away from your social security, until you are a certain age. He starts next week and I think it will be good for him. He stops drinking with me most Mondays too and it is sort of an unspoken rule...... which is nice - it matters not to me as he doesn't drink what I drink, but he does need to cut down.

Bug - I think you should not worry about what your hubs says - you are doing so well with your cutting down! Did he know how much you were drinking before? If he didn't, then that would explain it, but I really think you are doing well. And as Space said, you are trying to cut down on two things at once, which is always hard. Just take it slowly eh? I really do think you are doing amazingly. YES - no hangover in the morning is lovely isn't it? So, just keep on doing what you are doing......:goodjob:

Stuck...... oh gosh, your life sounds almost like a soap opera at times !!! I agree with Space though - you are so young and need to get a handle on this now. I don't comment on your shenanigans simply because I just shake my head (with a smile on my face !!). But glad that you are starting back on the bac and going up ...... I so hope that it helps you.

Hi there Diz - as usual, SO helpful to everyone - you are a font of information !! I smiled at you saying about your Chow mein - for the first time in ages, hubs and I had a take out Chinese and I had veggie chow mein and it was delicious !! I had enough to have it for lunch the next day at work too. Please let us know if you hear anything about your visa - you must feel as if you are in limbo. :l

Hey Play - I know that you started work again yesterday - pop in and let us know how you are doing eh? You are probably really pooped at the end of your day, so take things easy when you get home - but save a little energy for us - right?

I need to go and attack a HUGE pile of ironing, so am going to get going.

love and hugs to all,

love, sun XXX

[bugpieper]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

help

hi guys, i am having some problems, i have been taking 75mg of tops since tues so thats 1 week, 1st of all, i have dry ,mouth horrible!!! can't stand it!! second, headaches!!!! i am taking 3 doses spred out during the day ending around 5 or 6....the only thing that stops the headaches is alcohol.. i am drinking about 8-10 oz of voka mixed with gadoraide.... i am trying to get off of clonazepan, was taking 1.5 mg a day, am now taking 1 mg. am going to take it slow an stay on the 1 mg for a month or so and then take it down to .5 ......my headaches are horrible...and the drymouth ugggg...help, what should i do.?????? i titrated up from 25, to 50 in to 75 in 3 weeks....and now having the side affects....still craving the alcohal...what should i dooooooooooo bug

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hola all -
Most doing well...

Space - can't relate to your mother's ill health, as mine passed away ages ago, but hope she continues on the mend. I know you are battling depression, financial woes, and all the other stuff. I wish there was something I or any of us could say to help alleviate. Getting some exercise definitely helps...just hard to get up and go!! I'm feeling the same way about starting AB...going to try and take my own advice! I love and "respect" your posts...You have so much going on. Hope the clouds part in your favor soon! Hang in there, girlfriend!

Stuck - you are a trip!! The wild man on here. No promises, no remorse, just keeping on w/ the BAC and TOPA?? Is anything really helping - do you really care? I say that in semi-jest...just seems like you're throwing good (meds) after bad (reckless behavior) and don't really care. What's your point or goal really?? Do you have any? Believe me, I am not being judgmental, just sometimes incredulous you are a teacher and can maintain at this pace/quality of life/how long you can survive at this rate/etc. I seriously worry about you...but know you are not seriously considering getting some random woman pregnant. Please. There are enough stupids begetting stupider out there...I don't think you're stupid except when you get drunk and horny...and it annoys me on general principle. Please grow up - regardless of if you get sober or not. I say this in the nicest way possible :-))

I am constantly thinking about "what if" I were on AB right now...how I'd come home and approach my evening. UGH - it would be really hard after most days I have at school. Trying to psyche myself up to the "it frees your brain" thinking, and what kinds of non-AL drinks I will enjoy M-TH...thinking tonic water
& lime, detox teas, etc. Tonic water is refreshing, good for you & tastes like a cocktail. I can start there. I'm mostly pumped, then scared I will panic w/o AL to see me through after a stressful day. But then, I can't do anything about it w/o fear of being violently ill. Thanks but no thanks.

DZ - thanks so much for your insight in to all this. I truly hope your VISA problems resolve favorable soon!! You are so good about going into detail about things - very educational.

Play - hope you're feeling better & better!!

WTE - XO!!

To everyone else I missed: XXXOOO!!!

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Its boyfriend's birthday today. Shame, poor guy was supposed to have the week off and I was really looking forward to him finally committing to going to the dentist tomorrow but then his old company threw him a curve ball and asked him if he could go up to Leeds tonight. I've been there with him and we both like the city but to travel for business on your birthday and to have your off-week cut in half is not fun. He even signed up for a course, not sure when that's going to get done now.

I have some articles to write and some radio ads for Friday, I miss them when I don't get them so am looking forward to them.

No news about visa, we're just waiting for the paperwork as to why the visa was denied and they're refusing to email it so mine is 14 days into the postal system and I'm not certain if they've finally mailed bf a copy yet.

Sun, I've also been weeding a lot this side but preparing beds for Winter. Planting a lot of Coriander, I find it grows well in our mild wet winters. You don't have to water it and it stays leafy without going to seed forever. And the leaves are so yummy in curries and stuff.

Space, so nice to see a long post from you. Its great that you can still find the time to help others while you have so much to deal with. And Zumba - my, it sounds like you are feeling a bit better. :l I actually drank yesterday. I take my antabuse every Monday and Thursday but somehow yesterday I was just depressed with missing out on bf's birthday and having to discuss the prospect of my mom having electroshock therapy. Also I was bored with my job and staying at home while everyone's at the office. But look, now I have radio ads again! I'll take my pill again tomorrow, after 'celebrating' with bf today, its not often I enjoy drinking nowadays, it seems to make me maudlin.

Bug, I'm going to PM or email you. I'm not a doctor but I have some experience and I have done a lot of medical writing in the past. That's why I like researching and helping out people on here. That, and because I get frustrated with doctors not taking the time to actually listen to their patients and spend some time researching the alternatives. When you get the PM you will see it flickering at the top right hand corner of your screen, just click on it and it should be quite easy to follow from there.

Houtx, your post really made me laugh :H Its refreshing how you certainly don't mince your words. Its impossible to really imagine being on Antabuse but I'm really chuffed that you're so excited. Both Sun and Play took to it like ducks to water. I think work on your mindset - 'it is a tool I prefer to use to help me stay sober during the week so I can give better classes and lose weight' instead of 'its a nasty drug that prevents me from having fun'. Write down all the positives. Put away the money you save on booze and treat yourself on weekends, whether its some clothes, a fancy restaurant or a manicure. Something that makes you feel sexy and healthy and worth the effort you are putting in.

Stuck, I agree with Houtx. You, probably like the rest of us, are capable of doing a lot less stupid things when you're sober. So I think its time to get up on the horse again. Either that or I think you should take the sexual adventure parts of your posts and open up a new thread on the general section. Considering how much attention the 'My penis is enormous' thread got over that side, you might just be My Way Out's new EL James.

OK, gotta work if I'm going to have Sushi with my mom. She seems to feel a bit better again today.

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all there is so much going on here right now.

Sun I am so happy for you that everything is going so well for you and your family, your hubby got a job, thats great and will do him good, and so you good too.

Bug, I am trying to imagine your situation and get it straight in my mind what you are doing. You used to take 1.5mg of clonazepam a day and now you are taking 1mg, maybe you cut down too much in one go, or another idea is that you could take a tiny bit, less than 0.5mg if you can mange to slice that off a tablet extra on the days you feel really bad. You would still be reducing because it is still less than 1.5mg and you would not be doing it every day but just if you needed it. I am glad that you are now sticking to the 1mg for a while longer tho and not trying to rush it.

Secondly is the topa, do you take three 25mg doses? why do you only take it during the day and not spread them out until bedtime, kind of say 9am, 3pm then 9pm, is there a reason for this that I have missed, in any case I really dont think you should go up in dose just yet, wait until you are feeling better. Your headaches that you are treating with alcohol are worrying me. What kind of headaches are they, like migraines or stress headaches. I used to get terrible headaches when I drank a lot which went when I had a drink and I think it was due to withdrawal and stress from it, I dont know how much 8-10oz of vodka is, your measurements are different from ours in UK, I just looked at my jug and think thats about 1/2 a pint, maybe Sun can tell me if Im right. Anyway whatever the amount if you are still craving and you have cut down I think you need to pat yourself on the back for that. Just an idea tho, could you try mixing it with fruit juice instead, gatoraide is, I think very high in sugar which may be causing headaches whereas pure fruit juice, while still containing a fair bit of sugar is in my opinion a more natural way of giving your body the sugar it is craving and also supplying some vitamins which you will be needing right now. Do you just drink of a night? do you like fruit, I dont but I do like bananas so I try to remember to eat one a day but I am just hinking if you where to try to eat some fruit during the day that might help as well, it is good for you, will help you become more healthy and help with the headaches... maybe. worth a shot tho, if it doesnt work then you have lost nothing really have you and it hasnt cost much either. Have you tried L glutamine, I used to take it and so did a few others on here, it seems to help with cravings.

Houxt, when you said thanks but no thanks where you meaning that you dont want to ake the AB or you dont want to drink on it Im not sure. I never thought about substitue drinks it didnt cross my mind, I just drink tea at home and coffee in the mornings, then hot milk before bed. Do you always go home after work and then stay in, what do you do while you are drinking, could you start looking into other things to do now before you start, maybe you could even take a zumba class one evening a week it really is fun and got me feeling lots better, while I was doing it I couldnt help but smile. The other thing is once you start feeling better I think you will want more of the good feelings that come from not drinking and being able to do other stuff you maybe wouldnt have thought of otherwise. I get the impression that you use alcohol as a way of dealing with stress but there are lots more enjoyable ways of doing it, I think you like fun so you just need to go and get some.

Stuck, I also just kind of shake my head when I read some of your posts, you do go over the top dont you, and I dont get how you manage your job with it either. But that aside I getting more worried about you than ever now, the wording has changed I think when you describe what you are doing, you are no longer saying you have a hangover that you need to treat so you can work, but that your are treating withdrawal with meds. Either Ativan, which I think you have mostly really wasted, they would have been a good med for you to take if you where actually withdrawing from alcohol, as in stopping drinking then tapering of ativan over a week long period which is what I have done in the past but using Librium when I have had a medicated detox to aviod dt's. What you are now doing is drinking, taking pills so you can function during the day and to stop the shakes ect which could impare your work until you can start drinking again. This is not a slippery slope you are on any more, but a deep bloody cavern you are sliding into and I worry that eventually you wont be able to dig yourself out. I risk controversy here by saying that using baclofen for the same reason you where using ativan is probably no better.
Please, please do not get the girl pregnant, she cannot be all to stable herself by asking you this and do you really want to willingly go and have a child into such a messed up situation. I do think you are an intellegant man but right now are lacking common sense and judgement. Realistically if you are going up in dose on baclofen, you should be coming down in consumption of alcohol as far as I can see. I love you to bits but you really do need to grow a pair. x

Play you are back in work! already! I do hope its not too soon for you I am worried for you and have to send you a massive big cyber hug (((Play))) x

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just popping to the shop to get some salad stuff for my tea!!!!! I cant remember the last time I ate a raw vegetable so I am looking forward to it.

I havent forgot you Dizzy and will read your post properly when I get back.