New here and starting Topa and with a question

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow Space! Looks like you need a family lawyer...but since this is your aunt and cousin and I know you've said money is tight, is there anyone else in the family who might be concerned? This is a clear case of fraud and elder abuse. You could call a family law practice and get some free advice or be directed to an agency who might be able to intervene before your cousin sucks your aunt dry!! ACK - good luck!! But I know there are services available and that you, as a concerned niece, can do something! Keep us posted -

Sun, glad you're feeling better!! Hope whatever it is is getting resolved or a good cry helped. You don't have to be "sunny" all the time. Life is up & down, black & white and you are entitled to feel the feelings. one day at a time & aw dat!

Stuck - you continue to entertain!!

Meggie - yep, teaching is a psycho war zone!! I really hate it. Too many of the kids are incredibly rude & defiant. It's not even teaching really at this point - crowd and noise control. I had a girl come into my room the other day to deliver a message - this was in my after school homework/tutoring time. She called a name and I turned around and asked, "Who?" She snapped back at me, "I wasn't talking to you!!". I nearly flew at her. She very haughtily told me I was "disrespecting HER"!!! I was just astonished. Kids are insane, but they are a product of their disrespectful, crazy parents. This universal feeling of entitlement everyone has...UGH - HATE it!! I'm just watching dull, boring videos and giving worksheet packets the last few weeks coming up. Busy work for kids who could not care less anyway.

On another note, the AB arrived today. 90/250 mg tablets. I'm thinking I'll take a quarter to start...Play/Sun take half a tab to last 5 days? Do you do the same, Diz?? I was relieved and glad to get it, but not sure I want to start this week...yet, why not?! That means if I do, I'll go AF tomorrow thru Thurs...I haven't been AF for more than 1 day in a year, at least. UGH - so wanting to be free, yet don't. Ya know??!!

It's here - gotta be strong & live up to my convictions. Get the demons away for awhile. See how the other half or 3/4s lives! Improve my quality of life, get on the wagon, etc. "Procrastinate now - don't put it off!!"lol

At least I have today & tonight to drink some wine and encourage myself to do what I really want to do...All encouragement is accepted & welcome!!

[chaos]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

houtx;1497934 wrote:

Stuck - you continue to entertain!!

What?

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space, isn't there some legal aid company that can help or a social worker that can intervene? There must be some kind of Help the Aged charity geared to prevent these things. Is this your aunt's daughter? I can understand if she *asked* for some cash for petrol but to demand a 100 pounds and tell her she has no choice is just nasty. Is your aunt not better off in assisted living/ a home at her age, I'm not quite sure how it works.

Just do it Houtx. Your addicted brain will always have an excuse but it only takes a second for a pill to go down the hatch. You've been gearing up for a while now and you are ready. Take half the 250mg pill. This is a low dose, I often take 200mg as I have some 400mg pills. We are here for you.

Meggie, a glass of milk and a banana works well to replenish your nutrients the morning after. There is also something in eggs, sometimes a fry up makes me feel better and like Stuck said, a Bloody Mary or just tomato juice with tobasco.

Hugs.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, my aunt want to stay in her own home dizzy, she has memories of her life ther with her husband and she can manage ok. She has a carer comes in every morning to make sure she is up and get her breakfast for her and she has wonderful neighours that help her a lot, that was why she was so upset when my cousin was trying to force her into supported liveing and sell her home. We know my cousin actually wanted her to do that so she could get money from the sale of the house. No she is not my aunts daughter she is her neice, same as me. The problem with reporting her is that it will upset my aunt, but I have not had much sleep overnight for worrying about it and have made a decision. My brother who doesnt really talk to me but also has power of attourney but is second on it is going down this week sometime so I will wait and see what happens, if then nothing has happened then I cannot know about his and do nothing. My auntie is being abused and if I saw or knew of any other elderly person being treated this way I would not hesitate to report the person doing it. Its just that it will upset my auntie and cause upset in the family but I will have to report my cousin to the authorities that deal with power of attorney because she is abusing her position of having access to my auntis money. If I let it go I will never forgive myself.

Houxt why not start this week, in fact today, whenever you start its going to be scarey for youat first and may be a bit tough for the first week so you may as well get it over with. After you have got the first couple of days out of the way it will probably be a breeze although you might be waiting until Thursday so find you have a bit of a wasted week but if thats the worst thing that can happen then its not bad. Why take only a quarter, are you thinking if you take less it will be out of your system quicker and you can change your mind about it? good luck anyway, porobably the best way to do it is just take the pill without giving youself a choice, just do it.

Meggie hope your feeling better today.

Love to all

Space x

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It sounds to me that your aunt is perfectly fine without your niece. Sorry, I didn't realise she has a carer and neighbours that help her so much. How is the relationship between your aunt and this niece? I mean when she does pop in, does she at least help? Can your aunt afford this money? Is your niece in real need of this money? I dunno, I'm just trying to think of a mutually beneficial relationship.

You have so much going on Space, I think you should send your brother an email that explains what is happening. Leave out the smashing of windows though. Let's hope he will take it up with her or at least discuss a more reasonable sum. Is there any other family you can involve?

XOX

[airam]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

This place is like home for me. But I still need help.

Thank you.


Hugs (((Sunny))) (((Houtx))) (((Everyone)))

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone..... finally getting to reply to your posts - yesterday was a trip and a half but will tell you about that in a minute.

Airam - so lovely to see you here again - but I wish you would talk to us more. I am always pleased to see you but you need to let us know what is going on with you. Please post more so we can be here for you :l:l

Space - oh gosh, poor you - you really do go through the mill don't you. I am so sorry about your cousin and your aunt - I understand where you are coming from regarding not wanting to upset the family but you cannot just let it lie .... have you talked to your aunt about it and got her side? You cannot let your cousin abuse your aunt this way - please talk to your aunt about it and see what she thinks. Also it is good that your brother is going this week - does he know what is going on? have you told him about it? Hopefully if he also has POA, then maybe he can do something without upsetting everyone? In the meantime - lorry loads of love and hugs to you my friend - :l You really are having a bad time of it aren't you? Hang in there and wait and see what happens with your brother.

Houtx - Thanks for the 'don't have to be sunny all the time' - LOL. I like to be that is the trouble - but I am fine again now. I just needed some time to digest and process what had happened to upset me and am really fine again. I get over things pretty quickly.

Now re the AB - I had it for a while and had already decided when I was going to take it - and texted Play after I had taken it so we both knew that we had,. it was good doing it that way 'cos I knew that she was waiting to hear from me - I HAD to do it. Yes, the first time is scary - and if you took a 1/4 of a tab it is still in your system and I wouldn't drink for at least four days. And I DO understand the 'wanting to be free but not' bit - it is a RELIEF when you finally pop that tab - decisions have been taken from you - in fact I am half thinking about taking mine today instead of waiting until tomorrow....... I do agree with Space - the first week is almost a wasted week as you aren't quite sure what to do with your life - I literally 'waited for saturday' all week. but the 2nd time I took it I changed the way I looked at it and actually enjoyed the feeling of freedom!

Hi there Meggie - LOL to me being real. Yes, I am - but hate when I don't feel 'up'. Most of the time I do and don't care for the feelings that I had the other day - but am fine again. Sorry you had such a rotten hangover. Time is the only thing really - that and a good nights sleep the next night. I won't let myself drink enough to get that way any more - it is YEARS since I have had a hangover - or maybe my body just has gotten used to me drinking - I don't know but I do feel for you. Hopefully you are feeling better today? Shame that the counsellor and you aren't really getting anywhere - my doctor told me that I needed to get to the bottom of WHY I drink - but there is no-one around here counsellor wise, for me to talk to.

Hi there dear Diz. Wonderful advice as usual to Space .... you are so sweet with us all. Especially when you are going through so much yourself. I think it is good to give you and b/f some space between you and let him get over things. It is such a shame that this happens when you aren't together - you both have a lot of stress with what is going on - not that that is any excuse for his behaviour at all. But you know him and know the way he is - and that unfortunately he is using you as a scapegoat and emotional punching bag. Once again, it is up to you to decide if you want to put up with it...... :h

Well, I need to go and get some stuff sorted but will be around today for the most part. Was VERY pleased with myself yesterday - our sump pump had stopped working and the basement flooded - after my initial panic, I lugged buckets of water up the stairs emptying the sump pump and then went out and bought a new one.... and REPLACED IT MYSELF. I was SO proud of me and so impressed - didn't know I could do that, then when hubs came home from work, saw the empty box and apparently, the last time it died on us, I had replaced the last one - I have NO memory of doing that which is so funny. So he wasn't as impressed with me as I was! At least it saved us calling out a plumber.....

Off for now - have a wonderful day everyone,

love and hugs, Sun XX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, I meant to speak to Meggie last time I was here too - Meggie, hope you're feeling better! Teaching is so stressful - no matter the age of the kids, they are crazy wild, rude, defiant, and the parents are the same. I hate it, but can't retire for a couple of more years. Also finding it harder and harder after drinking the night before. Hope you're feeling better after your bender & hangover the other day.

TOPA didn't do much for me except give me the "dopa" effect...so today I popped my first half tab (125 mgs) of the AB! I waited until about 4 hours ago to make sure it didn't interact w/ whatever was in my system from last night. So now I'm committed to the straight and narrow until Friday. I loaded up with some juice, tonic water (which I love), and Sleepytime herb tea for later. Also got a supply of L-Glut too, so I'm doing it! Will keep everyone posted...

Airam - so good to hear from you & wish you'd post! Hope alls well w/ everyone else

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy and Houtx, I am so proud of you both! Dizz, I know you're probably sitting there staring at the AB right now, worrying about it, but you've got this. If this is how you want to go about taking the decision-making process out of taking a drink, then I know you can do it and you are a freaking rockstar. Houtx, good on you for your decision as well.

As for me, everyone, well I'm drinking tons and whatnot right now, and just passed out just after sundown after eating some chinese food and being at the bar for a minute. So it's after midnight now and I'm wide awake, drinking a little, and mostly regretting the things I texted yesterday and the people I texted them to, and at the same time wishing they were awake right now so I could text them some more. And listening to the same couple of songs over and over again. Oh well, life could definitely be worse.

And just so y'all wonderful ladies don't think I've given up, I also increased my bac dose today and am continuing that whole process, which I'll update on my own thread, eventually, for anyone interested. So I'll get there sometime soon. Though who knows where "there" is, lol.

:l

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

WOW HOUXT Yeh youve took the AB well good for you. Im sure when you wake up in the morning you will feel so good about the fact that you didnt drink tonight and dont have a hangover. That was one of the first things I loved when I first had a couple of days without drinking, after going for so long with always drinking every day and the hangover becomming a part of normal life it is such a great feeling of freedom. In fact I know you will love it. I also think that once you are feeling better in yourself you will probably be able to cope with work better. You say you hate teaching and are just waiting for your retirement which is very sad, I am wondering what the school where you work is like as a whole, I dont think it can be a very good school from what you say. In my sons school they have a guy whose job is to deal with the childrens behaviour, that is all her does and because he is now very skilled and doesnt have to try and juggle it with teaching as well he is able to do it. He also has the job of dealing with parents which the head of year does as well. The only time I as a parent see the teachers themselves is on parents evening which I think is the way it should be so that the teachers can just do the job of teaching which they are there for and it works very well. This is not a fancy school that is regarded as being great, it is just a state school and we are in a poor area of the city so it doesnt get a good reputation just because of where it it. It is down to the head teacher at the end of the day who has got private funding from companies in the area which gives them good publicity. My area would once have been described as industrial but most of the large factories such as we used to have a very big Ford car plant which went and also other manufactorers have moved out so I dont think it could be descrbed as that any more really, our houses where built here with the intention of providing a place to live for the staff of these industries but now its just a housing estate with massive unemployment. Sorry Houxt I went of track a bit there didnt I. anyway well done on the brave move of taking the AB and good luck for your healthy new life.x

Sun I love the story about the sump pump, although not the bit about your having to carry the water out but the fact you have done it before but didnt know about it.

Dizzy, the point about my aunt and cousin is not whether my cousin needs the money, from her lifestyle I wouldnt think so, she is also looked after by a multi millioaiare brother in law so I would say this is just greed not at all neccesity, apart from that you cannot go round demanding money off people like that it is wrong, she does do her shopping but that is because she choose to and wouldnt allow anyone else to do it. I have offered to do it many times and been told no. Before my uncle died when he was ill I used to do the shopping so after he died I naturally assumed I would carry on but she told my auntie that she wanted to do it it instead. When my uncle was alive she did nothing, she only became intersted once he died. One day soon after my uncle died she made an appointment to take my aunt to the bank the "help" her sort things out there. She did this alone and then came back saying while she was there she might as well sort it so that she is signatory on the bank account and has her own debit card for it as well. There are so many things she has done which I couldnt go into here as it would take too long but there is no situation that could possibly benefit my aunt, she is bullying her, has stolen stuff out of the house, now taking this money with the implied threat. Really I should report her to the police but that would upset my auntie even more so at this point I cant. I feel partly responsible that it has got this far, if I had not been so ill over the past months I could have been there more and maybe stopped it happening.

Space x

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

A quickie as I'm snowed under in work and feeling a bit down today. I have a birthday party tonight and then I'm taking the antabuse again tomorrow. My bf has been making me feel miserable but to be honest the drinking has just been making it feel worse. I hate waking up every morning with a slight hangover, my first thought being when my first drink is going to be. I've been using this crisis as an excuse to drink but the drinking has been making me MORE miserable not less.

Also, after three days of leaving him alone I sent him a nasty message yesterday after I went out with friends for sushi, which I now regret. What I said is true but I definitely didn't need to say it in such a vile way, even if he provoked it three days ago. I'd rather live a boring sober life where I don't do things out of spite.

Congrats, Houtx, that mustve taken some courage! Let us know how you are, OK?

Space, I understand the situation better now. I hope your brother can help you, otherwise I think you should talk to your auntie and ask her what she would like to do. Its a real tough one.

Thanks for the kind words, Stuck. You've been good at getting on the wagon before so you'll know when the time is right.

You're quite the handy woman, Sun

Nice to see you around, Airam. Tell us more about how you are, OK?

What happened to you, Play?

And, WTE, I thought you were going to start keep posting more? Hope you are well.

Hugs to all,

:l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Very early morning here and getting ready for work.

Houtx - WELL DONE. The first week will be scary - but you have done it so now just accept it - I am so proud of you ! Please let us know how you do with it won't you? I look forward to not drinking tonight .... I waste so much time when I drink. Good for you !

Space - I wish that you would talk to your aunt and see what she thinks. Also - when is your brother coming to see her? Do NOT blame yourself for the situation - it is not because you got ill ! :l:l

Dizzy - sorry that you sent the message that you wished you hadn't. But maybe it will help b/f see how you feel? Glad for you that you have work though ... that is good.

Play is snowed under with stuff right now - she will get here when she can, but she is fine. Just stuff going on in her life that needs to be dealt with - she will be here again, but right now, has other stuff going on.

As for WTE - she is the same - still trying to cut down but is doing well otherwise. i too wish she would post, but we shall all just have to wait and hope.

Getting ready for work.... hugs to all, love, sun XX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thx all for the encouraging words!

Stuck, sounds like you are at least content and upping your BAC dose is a step in a healthier direction. Late night texts and emails can come back to bite you, and I have woken up too many mornings thinking, "Oh shit!!!" Then having to fix it. SO I understand where both you and Diz are coming from.

Diz, I wish you were back in the good, happy place with your bf...can't imagine the frustrations. I wish I had a bf to ride the roller coaster with sometimes, but then...ehhhhh! lol

Space, I actually teach in a good school, nice neighborhood & all that, but the demographics are gradually changing and we are getting more and more ghetto crazies. Plus a new principal this year who likes to give "warnings". So a kids walks out of school and goes home, instead of being suspended, is given a warning! Obscene language, gestures, all kinds of stuff is not being disciplined the way it was in years past, so the message is "I can get away with it!" and it's just getting worse and worse. Kids are rude, defiant, lazy...These are middle schoolers and their brains are totally screwed up for a few years anyway. I've just been doing it for 22 yrs and sick of it.

Yes, today was nice...I've had 2 AF days now once I go to bed in a bit. Last night I was really tired and thought I'd conk out right away, but I mostly dozed off & on, dreamed weird dreams, had to get up & pee 3-4 times...took 2 melatonins. Today I was pretty much in the mind-set of doing this, so once I got home, I had a mocktail of spicey V-8 in a martini glass, then some tonic water...while I cleaned house and did what I normally do. I even had a woozy feeling after my mocktail much like if I'd had a real drink. It was odd for sure!

Yes, I'm really looking forward to Friday. I took the AB at 3 pm Sun., so Fri aftn would be 5 days getting it out of my system but 6 days AF. Longest stretch in YEARS. Certainly a little light at the end of the tunnel helps! I need to get better, get healthier...and if I must take the strongest deterrent out there, and it works, then so be it. I do like that I am not trying to go the rest of my life or anything...just 5 days. Yes, I can do it - I did do it and will continue to! Will keep posting :-))

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there Houtx - everything sounds really good for you - I had a lousy nights sleep last night - maybe I should have taken 2 melatonins ! Tossed and turned and finally got up at 4.30 instead of 5.00. Anyway tonight will be much better, thank goodness. It is great to hear your attitude towards it and that you are feeling so positive about it too.

I totally understand about the kids of today - we see it and I do not envy teachers one iota! I really admire you for doing it - I know for sure i could NOT !!

Absolutely great that things are going so well for you ..... keep posting !!

Oh - Play won't have internet until Monday but is thinking about everyone and asked me to let you all know.....

Hugs, Sun XX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Go you, Houtx! Actually all of you have been troupers so far. The first time I took it I was terrified but then I had no one to consult and I aimed for 30 days (made 25)

The party went very well considering it was in an uber cool venue with about 30 uber cool people. My friend is a make-up artist and we usually hang out at home or at the movies but I'm not a huge fan of mobs of sweetie darling types. I had a good friend with me and the only blip was I was a tiny bit rude with this girl that got a ride home with us. She likes my brother but both her arms are covered in tattoos and she's so full of it. Anyway, I think she was too drunk too notice that I was being protective

Hmmm, Sun, I don't think stick your money up your arse will help my bf realise my feelings . He knows he crossed a serious line by bringing up work when I wasn't allowed to work there and have been giving up permanent positions here to be with him though. I am having a little bit to drink today but am planning 2 weeks sober from tomorrow.

Is tomorrow an international holiday? I think so, so enjoy!

Hugs,
D