New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there everyone. I am feeling a tad flat this evening. My friend with cancer sees the surgeon on Tuesday and I just hurt so much for her - I know what she has coming. Well - I don't - she has colon cancer, so in my head it is worse than what I had. But she lost her husband a year ago this week and now is facing this. It just really hurts me. It hurts that I can't DO anything. Sorry to be a downer....

Play - I used to pack way too much for me - now I am a really good light packer - I figure if there is something I really need I can get it wherever I am - so take the stuff for the children and the family !! Are you around tonight? To chat? Let me know....

Hey there Bug .... good to hear from you. Your drinking sounds well under control - and yes, wine with dinner would be just about AF for me too. So go you. Well done. You sound SO busy !! With 2 acres, can you get someone to help you with it? What do you usually plant? Thinking of you too...... :l

Space - nice to hear from you. I am so sorry about thr guilt you feel for your kids - which is what Play feels too. I suppose I don't really feel any guilt for my children - I didn't drink back then - or not as I do now anyway, and was the best mother that I could be. Drink didn't come into it. You can't change things. And because you can't change things, YOU HAVE to change the way you feel about it - otherwise you are in a catch 22 !! Are you going to live with it for the rest of your life? Have you ever talked to your son about it? Can you? Just a thought..... maybe it would give you some relief.

Hi there Stuck - yes, I suppose we could use some levity around here - heaven knows I am not bringing it in !!! You don't sound too swift either to be honest. Although I did smile at you and your blender .... yes, add some fruit juice to the ice and frozen fruit. Or some milk if you like it. I like adding some milk to them - it gives them some depth.

Anyway, I need to go - love and hugs to all,

sun XXX

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, I'm back again, will continue on here. Hey Sun, I can't do G Chat tonight as I don't have the Internet connection on the laptop but only on the I Pad, you remember that wierd situation from when you were here, it still comes and goes, anyway, still don't want to pay so I let it go.

Sun, how is the Cream Of Tartar smoking cure going? Are you back on AB? I'm glad you are able to let to of past guilt issues, I'm not so good at it but I am trying. I've been married twice and left both those husbands after years of marriage and I didn't drink until about a year before I left the last time. There were issues I didn't seem able to live with after thirteen years each time but I also could have stuck it out for the kids and I feel guilty for that. They had good years but when they ask those questions about how they didn't have good role models and wouldn't I be better off if I was still married and it all did cause them a great deal of pain, I have an awfully hard time with it.

Taw I understand just how you feel when you drink to feel better from drinking rather than take the AB, I do it also. But please try to not be so hard on yourself, I guess that is something we have to focus on, being more forgiving of ourselves.

Hi Stuck, thanks for checking it hope the leg pain subsides and that sober life gets more exciting, I can never believe how you are able to go from hard core drinking to just being AF for almost a month now or something like that, way to go at it.

Bug, you sound so good, so nice to see you here.

Hi Space, I so hope you are hanging in there and even tho you are in such pain I think it is remarkable that you are still not drinking, I'm so proud of you and yes we are making progress, ever so slowly but all of us are I think. When I think of you and your history I always want to put my arms around you and tell you things will be ok. I think you have the sweetest heart and even tho you feel such guilt over your boys I also believe that you are also a mother who loves her family so much and I think they feel that and probably they think you are a better mother than you think you are. And as Sun says we need to let go of these feelings at some point, me too, lets work on it. Talking to them is also something like sun said but I know firsthand how much pain and guilt it brings up and that's just torture but maybe it does help. I always hate it when it comes up, I feel bad about myself.

Bug & Sun, I know you are feeling really trapped with the AL situation but I really do think we are making progress, it's just so slow, but maybe it's something.

And Space, about the AD, yes, I imagine I will take it at least for a few months or even longer until I feel solid again. Dizz too, yes, I agree with you both.

I'm really relieved to tell you that after only three days on the Zoloft I am already feeling much more calm and less tearful, thank god, I am much better. Still anxious and worried about my daughter but much better.

BTY, she didn't leave town after all as she couldn't take the time off work and tomorrow he might come to get his stuff so I hope nothing else bad happens. She is still totally having difficulty functioning but saw her therapist today and is trying not to text him so that's a really great thing. This will take a long time of healing but that's just how it is. I'll update after tomorrow and hope it goes ok, she will be at work but will have to go home to an empty or partly empty house which is quite another shock in it all.

Well, bye for now, sleep tight or have a good day.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Morning everyone - Play - happy you are feeling better than you were. That must be quite a relief for you. And it will be good to see the lady in Spain too - she sounds really good. You must also be getting excited about leaving this weekend. You need the break.

Well, I am getting ready for work - just wanted to pop in and push us back up the page as we were getting near the bottom!!

Hugs to all, Sun XX

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun have you stopped smoking? what is this cream of tarter cure it sounds revolting is it working. I have bought one of those electronic cigarettes that you put liquid in and hope to get some patches and stuff tomorrow to stop on saturday, I need to get at least one full day without smoking to give me the confidence that I can do it as I have never been able to get that in the past 34 years

x

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

A bit quiet here so I might as well drop a bombshell: I'm engaged to be married and said marriage may take place here in 3 weeks time before he whisks me away. Its the only way the visa agent said I'll get to stay in the UK without a year long legal battle.

He'll come and we'll have a big engagement party...

I'm still weighing my options on whether to tell my parents we're getting married too. I know it sounds awful but they're forcing my hand so why can't I give it a year trial run without worrying about everyone else's judgements and opinions? God, not sure I can do that much drama in 3 weeks.

I know there's the right way and the convenient way. Sigh.

XOX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

CONGRATULATIONS DIZZY

That is AWESOME !!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you both !!!!!! I think it is wonderful !!!!! Oh gosh - what wonderful news - we needed some good news on this thread ........ and I couldn't find find a pooh bear Congratulations ANYWHERE - unless you were graduating - LOL.

FANTASTIC NEWS !!!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU :l:l:l:l

Hugs and love,

Sun XXXXX

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey - can I come to the wedding ??? What is the nearest airport?

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks - and sure, we need two witnesses in Cape Town.
That would be Cape Town International Airport

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Okay - well it was a nice idea but I have just checked the fare and it is $2000 !!! Just a tad above my budget! I would have loved to have come !!!! I am so happy for you....

love, sun XXX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

You must love weddings... And would've been totally underwhelmed, its really just paperwork now, he's only coming for 3 days, we'll have celebrations later. We can celebrate when you come to the UK again and perhaps we'll meet up with Space for a hen party LOL. Play, do you have any plans of going back via the UK?

PS: Here to UK is at least only half of what you were quoted for a return - that's steep!

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

OMG! Fabulous, Marvelous and Makes Sense!

Oh Dizz,
I think it's great news too:h:h Sometimes you just have to go with the Flow, right? Right!
And what is anything about life other than giving it a try and you actually have known each other for a while, WAY TO GO.

I have no advice on the parent thing as I don't know them and you know them quite well and will do what is best ( for yourself I hope

So wish I could come to the wedding as well but as you said maybe we all can meet up in the UK at some point. I know that tickets from here in the low season are way way cheaper so that is one possibility. I will be in Spain from the 10th of June until the 16th of July, only the first couple of weeks would be an option for me to come over for a weekend or something, but depends on your time and schedule as well.

Oh, I'm just so happy for you:h


My depression is lifting, today I noticed that I was feeling joy again, no tears for three days. The daughter is still struggling and I'm just hoping for nothing more to happen. He still has not gotten stuff out, just his clothes, he is kind of using the house as a storage unit but nothing I can do right now but hope for the best. She can't go visit her brother for another week but that will be so good for her.

Hi space, wow, you are giving the quit smoking a try:goodjob: no matter how it goes. The creme of tartar was mentioned in a thread I saw a few days ago, perhaps under holistic healing I'm not sure but you can probably find it. If I see it I will forward it to you like I did to Sun.

Love you all so much.
play

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The Cream of Tartar thread for Space.

Space it was on the med thread but down to 2nd page, I just bumped it up for you

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

spacebebe01;1516350 wrote: Sun have you stopped smoking? what is this cream of tarter cure it sounds revolting is it working. I have bought one of those electronic cigarettes that you put liquid in and hope to get some patches and stuff tomorrow to stop on saturday, I need to get at least one full day without smoking to give me the confidence that I can do it as I have never been able to get that in the past 34 years

x

SPACE ...... I am so sorry - I didn't see your post! It was only when I read Play's post and she said about you and the smoking and I went back that I saw it - I am so sorry !!! The thread was that you took a teaspoon of cream of tartar in a glass of orange juice (not concentrate) before bed. It takes about 4-7 days to take effect but supposedly takes the nicotine out of your system and you want less cigs..... try Googling it. I have not been doing it regularly - I keep forgetting it. I need to put it somewhere I will remember to do it !! Maybe by my happy tabs that I take at bedtime? When I Googled it it suggested that you mix the cream of tartar with a very small amount of hot water to dissolve it before mixing it with the OJ. I MUST try and remember to do it - SIGH - yet one more thing to try and remember.

Diz - I absolutely HATE weddings....I told both my daughters that if they eloped they would get double presents !!! I also hate baby showers and bridal showers and all the rest - but would have loved to come to an impromptu wedding !! I have to go to a baby shower on saturday and to be honest would rather have a root canal.

Play - so sorry daughters b'f has really done nothing - what a bummer - it would be better if he did and got it over with ! Glad you are feeling better......:l

I need to start getting ready for bed. Have to get up extra early tomorrow as it didn't rain when it was supposed to so I need to water in the morning.

love and hugs to all,

sun XXX

[bugpieper]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Congratulations Dizz!!! That is fantastic news!!! Life is full of surprises ....you deserve a life of happiness!!
Play i too am sorry that your daughters bf is dragging his feet, i wish he would just come and get his stuff and fanish!!! Also Glad you are feeling better..

My week has been up and down, started off rather well, then drank on Tues and Weds evening on the low down, so i thought, until i started talking and slurring and then i saw the look on hubbys face and the comments started., so i retreated and haven't talked much since....
upped my dosage of topa....need to be better about not missing any !!! wish it would take away all cravings, even the ones in my memory!!, anybody know a good brainwasher? bug

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Everyone, really quiet here, Sun must be in the garden, Dizz is busy planning, Space hope you are good and how are the ciggs going? Bug I'm sorry that you have to deal with your husbands unkindness as well as the cravings

So, I'm just about ready for my trip tomorrow evening, excited but also anxious about being so far away from my daughter while her situation is still so unbearable for her but its time I guess to accept that I have to really let her play this thing out, just pray for no more violent behavior.

So, I took the AB on Sunday thinking I would take it again after three days but right about the three day point where the cravings kick in again I just really didn't have anything much except for a few twinges. So it's Saturday and I've not drank nor taken more AB. Right now I feel in control but also with that feeling that if I took one drink I wouldn't stop so right now just planning to take it again on Monday as per the original plan. Is pretty amazing that I have been so without cravings, I don't know why but its good.
I'm just taking it one day at a time right now.

Well I'll say bye for now and love to you all from play.