New here and starting Topa and with a question

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dizzy Im happy about the visa getting sorted and hope the mov goes smoothly for you.

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

My drinking is far from out of control but I am worried about it as I am having a drink again tonight. Any ideas welcome.

[JBB]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I don't know if I'm posting right or not, but this is the only way I could find to post. I am on my second week of Topamax. The first week I took 25 mg. The second week I tried 50, as per the instructions in the book. First day, no side effects. Second day, I took on an empty stomach and I felt horrible the rest of the day. My head felt "funny", kind of numb, or crazy feeling. I couldn't wait for the day to be over with so I could hopefully sleep it off. Even drinking didn't make it go all the way away. Has anyone else had this side effect? I went back to 25 mg the next day. Was it because I took on an empty stomach, do you think?:new:

[briseus]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for the welcome Spacebebe! I also hope that your doc will work with you in figuring out what can be done and if you can start back on the Topa.

Meggie - yes, we are starting this together! I am on day two now...today I am feeling unnaturally tired...like, really tired. I went and got an iron supplement, hoping that will help. I am also taking the topa in the morning, not sure if it's because of it or if it is something else...but I will keep taking it in the AM for a bit and if nothing changed I will switch to the PM.

Thanks for the welcome as well DizzyBee!

Congrats on not drinking Sun!

JBB. I am not sure what happened with your reaction. I never eat breakfast and I have been taking topa on an empty stomach and haven't experienced that feeling, except that today I feel like I could nod off at any minute!! I am literally a zombie! But it is only day two and I really don't think the topa has kicked in yet. The cravings are still there.

I drank last night but nearly not as much as I usually do...I have been reading up on the SE's of topa and they freak me out, but alcoholism freaks me out more I think.
JBB, try eating and taking it tomorrow and see if that does anything? But then again, what do you mean by "crazy" feeling?

Meggie, how are you feeling on day 2??

[JBB]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

JBB, try eating and taking it tomorrow and see if that does anything? But then again, what do you mean by "crazy" feeling?

Yeah, that's just the thing--how do you explain crazy feeling? It was one-sided and kind of like a tightness or slight throbbing. Hard to explain, but it had gone away when I woke up the next day. It took that long, though. Thanks for the help. I went back to the 25 mg. Think I will stay on that until next week.:thanks:

[bugpieper]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well your all doing so well i feel really dumb. I'm stuck in the bottle. Was up at my daughters house in Madison all week working on redoing everything as it all needs to be redone. At the end of each day i rewarded myself with several large glasses of vodka and gatoraide and as i sit here typing i am drinking one. Home again and drinking again. My body is worn out. My head is unclear during the day, i can tell that my inner uniary track is not liking all of the alcohol. I'm gonna try and not drink so much tonight and going forward and drink alot of water. It was hard up there as everything is in such disarray, no furniture ans so dirty. They are trying to live in the house while redoing it, never easy...We are going to Chicago this weekend to be with hubbies 35 year old daughter, she is in charge of a charity event and then we are taking her out to dinner and staying at her place sat night. So that should be nice. Gonna try to keep stay on a real positive note with hubby as he is going thru a real hard time right now....Wish i could just stop without having cravings, just don't know how...i'm a strong person in every way except drinking....Love to all. Bug

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone - lovely to see so many people posting !

Buggy - do not get despondent - we have all been where you are. I consider myself a work in progress and eventually things will work out and it will all fall into place. You sound as if you have been really busy. good for you trying to stay on a positive note - your upcoming weekend sounds lovely - enjoy it and try and relax !!

Hi there Bri - When I first started taking Topa, I deliberately didn't read up on the SE's - if you google SE's of Tylenol - it would freak you out too! Did you get the titration schedule okay? I wouldn't be looking for the Topa to kick in yet - it does take a while, but you will know when it does - it is very subtle though.

JBB - I would go back to the 25mg if I were you, for another week at least before you go up to 50. I am not sure about the crazy feeling either - just keep an eye when you do go up. Are you okay on the 25 now that you have gone back to it?

Meggie - good for you starting the Topa too - maybe you and Bri and JBB can PM each other and compare notes ! I so hope that it hepls you - were you on it before? if so, what happened?

Space - you know that you can do it with the no drinking. My suggestion would be just to not buy it - if you don't have it, you can't drink it. You were doing so well !!

Hi there Dizzy - great news on the Visa - like you, I have more I want to post, but right now, have to get going to work -

hugs to all,

sun xx

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, how do you PM someone. I did do the chat at times, but tried it last night and it wouldn't load.
Ok, guys went to doc yesterday to discuss allergies that I have had since April. She said, no you are sick with a fever. I knew I felt like crap but with all my husbands illnesses I rarely have time to take care of myself. We talked about my drinking. I need to go for bloodwork in a few minutes to check if I have started to destroy my body.
I started on the topa 25 for 2 weeks, when I moved up to 50 wham. I took it at night, the only thing that woke me up was drink. I also feel the stress of going back and forth to the hospital did me in.
Bug, not much to tell about me. I have been part of this site since 2007. I quit in 2007 for a year, then thought, I am not an alcoholic. Started again, quit in 2011 for 8 months and started again.
My life has stress, but who doesn't. This year has been esp. stressful and sad but I need to finally think about myself.
So lets do it. Easier said then done.

[briseus]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Bug - I hear ya, I am the same way. Strong in every way but when it comes to the drinking...nope, not at all. I even quit smoking and I smoked a lot for seven years! And apparently quitting that is the hardest! So why can't I shake this? Ugh.

Sun - I didn't get the email, unfortunately. I checked my junk folder too and nothing. Maybe I mistyped my email address. :P I'll double-check. Lol.

Meggie - in the top right where you see your name you can see where it says "Private Messages" when you click on that you are able to PM someone from there.
I did bloodwork last Friday...my doc said he would call me if anything abnormal came back and he hasn't, so that is kind of a relief..or maybe he is just too busy to call...I remember once last year my liver levels went to 99 - quite high, than I quit drinking for a month and they went back down to 26. The liver is quite an amazing organ...I don't know why we do this to ourselves and try and destroy it.


Well...I am feeling less tired today, so thinking that it probably really wasn't the topa. I did take an iron supp today as well. I did drink last night, but I only had about 3 glasses and usually I have WAY more than that and that was it. I don't remember going to bed. :/ Ugh.
I will keep at the 25mg until next Wednesday and then up it to 50mg. Hopefully, Sun, you can resend the schedule.

Happy Friday to all!!

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Meggie I do understand your being able to quit for long periods of time but then starting again, thatis what I seem to do as well but never actually get a grip on it I dont know why. Is it because I dont want to admit to the word alcoholic which I hate it reminds me so much of AA which I also hate so wont use the word. I have always wanted to be a normal drinker but Im not sure what that means. I am amazed that you all seem to be able to drink of a night and then get up of a morning and work. Do you get your topa off your doctor Meggie, I have had blood work done and have had alarming reading come back for my liver but then after a couple of days of not drinking they went right down, so far I am very lucky that I havent destroyed jy liver but still take the chance of doing so every time I drink again.

Bug I dont know why you should feel dumb I dont think you are doing really badly in fact I think what you are doing now is amazing, you are trying to cut down on drinking and yet helping your daughter and your hubby's daughter as well. It is so hard when we are having terrible cravings for a drink and the only thing that seems to make them go away is a drink, I casnt remember are you on topa, if so whaere are you up to on it. Just keep on trying I think this is something a lot of us seem to spend our lives trying to crack.

Jbb I think you should stick at 25mg for another week it is better to wait until the se.s from one dose go until going up again, some meds are affected by food and there are a lot that should be taken with food, most I think so even if you only have a piece of toast to take it with it may help. From what I can remember I started taking topa of an evening at first so any tiredness had been slept off by morning.

Sun you dont say how your feeling with your new abstinence regime, is it two days in or three now, how do you feel about it, are you having cravings, as I remember in the past you used to feel slugish in the mornings after not drinking and that was something you mentioned when you did the AB 5/7.

I do think I I need to nip this drinking that Im doing now in the bud but the truth is I just dont want to, even after waking this morning feeling bad I still couldnt get myself to take any AB which I think at the moment is the only way Im goingto get back on track is to make it so that I am unable to drink, I have quit using AB before I think is weas last year for 6 months but then stopped taking it and started drinking again, I was doing well taking a full pill every day but then for no reason went down to half a pill then half a pill every other day then endedup drinking so not taking it at all. I did take half a pill last week? and that kept me off the drink for three days but I had a drink last night and drank more than I wanted to.. OK I just took another half so now I know I cant drink until at least Monday anyway. Its my sons 14th birthday on Sunday but my daughter is going away tomkmorrow for two weeks so I am doing a family dinner for him tonight so she can come. I am feeling better this afternoon after having been ill for two daysand think it may have been some kind of bug I have had.

lv space xox

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ok, saw the PM, thought it meant at night.
Bri, I am going to take the 25 for about 2 weeks then move on to 50. I was able to get off at 75. The med can make you feel tired and dopey. I drank less last night, took my bendryl and meletonin and got tired. I was up and down all night. This is the worse thing about quiting is the lack of sleep. The topa makes you tired and so does the lack of sleep. Doc won't give me any sleep meds because of the drinking, all the sleep meds mixed with drinking can kill you. I hate not sleeping.
Well, it is a new day and a new beginning. What is everyone drinking, I used to drink wine, now I am drinking gin, which is horrid. Interesting, my liver numbers came back bad. I take milk thistle.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone !

Meggie - it is easy to not know what the acronyms are when you first get here. The first time someone asked me if I was AF, I said yes - my hubs was in the Air Force ! I asked them how they knew !!! I had no idea AF was Alcohol Free !! My drink of choice is Guinness, but I thought everyone knew that - LOL. I rarely drink anything else. I am amazed that with Benadryl and melatonin you still didn't sleep - if I look at benedryl I am out for the count ! As far as the lack of sleep, it will pass - it is worth putting up with it to know that you are going a step forwards! At least that is the way I am looking at it right now.

Space - the reason I can drink of a night and get up in the morning and go to work is 'cos when i drink, I drink when i get in - around 3.30, and usually have stopped by 6.30 or so at the latest. Plus I go to bed early and then again - don't drink enough to get hungover either. The pill that you take that has seemed to help you with the drinking - why are you cutting it down? If it helps with the drinking, why not keep taking it or does it give you SE's?

Bri - I have sent the Topa titration schedule again - this time I typed it out into your e-mail so you should get it okay - unless I wrote the e-mail address wrong? PM me and let me know.

As for me, my abstinence didn't last long....... SIGH. However, I have a plan - I am quitting smoking and drinking on Wednesday - I have done it before and will do it again. The two go hand in hand for me and I think it is better for me to stop both. I WILL do this. Finally - once and for all!! I am fed up with constantly struggling with it and need to put up with a few days of it being hard - and I am strong and know I can do it.

Dizzy - please post - I know you are busy but a few lines would be good - also Play - where are you ? You must be over your jet lag by now so we would love to hear from you !!

Off to get the carpet shampooer out - poor dog tried to wake me in the night but I only vaguely remember it and she had diarrhea by the back door. I need to get her to the vet this morning for another steroid shot.

Have a great weekend everyone,

love, sun X

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi, its Saturday night now and I havent drank since Thursday night, this is mainly because I took the antabuse yesterday morning, I only took a halt tablet so that means I can drink again Monday if I want. Right nw Im not really committed to being abstinent and didnt count the amount of time without a drink as success I think its about what I do with the time si therefore this way I can have a drink when I want one whilst assuring I dont go on a bender which is what ruins things for me and my family. My drink problem was very basd and I have to make sure that I never repeat it. I dont want too drink all the time tho especially since its now summer holidays at school so thats why Im using antabuse until I get back to not drinking. Sun I dd go back up in dose on the tablets even though I am gettijng the se's of loosing some hair and my nails all splitting. My psychiatrist is typical doctor whose only advice about drinking is to tell me its bad for me and I shouldnt do it, he has no understanding of cravings whatsoever and simply isnt interested, in fact thats how I got discarged from the psychiatrist ast time and I know right now with the funding cuts in the NHS there is any excuse to get rid of patients so they can shut down the clinic. Its my sons 14 th Birthday tommorrow so Im happy I will be sober and hangover free for that. I suffer terribly with hangovers even if I only have a couple of glasses of wine Im likely to have a headache all the next day.

Sun dont worry about not being able to manage staying abstinent it is a big thing to do, I think your plan of stopping both drinking and smoking together is very brave but you are right if you can get in the mind frame that you will proberbly feel bad but its only for a while. I still havent managed to stop smoking after doing so well with the e cig and then got the bad stomach from it. I then geasred myself up again to do it with the patches and spray but then the spray gave me stomach problems and then I just went back to square one. Why did you stop taking antabuse sun I thought you where doing well with it, what happened if you dont mind me asking, and dont you think it could help you again.

I have been gripped over the past few days watching Luther on Netflix, its a really gritty cop drama asnd totaslly compulsive, one episode just led int the other and its been hard to drag myself away to do any housework. Which brings me onto another goal I need to set, I have now been getting a shower and getting dressed everyday for quite a while, I have also been doing what nails I have and keeping them nice and painted, after I stopped drinking very badly a few years ago I still had the bad depressions to deal with and one thing I would do was lay in bed and not wash or get dressed for weeks on end sothat obviously had to change. My house has been the big bug bear for me for years but today I started little by litte trying to do a bit of cleaning.

space xox

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

sorry my posts are way to long I need to stop waffling on

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Space - NEVER stop waffling - your posts are lovely !!!!! I enjoy reading them and seeing how you are doing... and I am sure the others do too. So no worries about waffling - okay? okay !!!

Yes, your psy does not understand - unless they have been there, I really don't think anyone does. So do not worry about what she says ..... YOU know far more about addiction and drinking than she does and know what you need to do. Did going back up on your other meds help to stop the cravings for you?

Poor you suffering with hangovers - I CAN remember the last one that I had and that was about 19 years ago - and gosh do I ever remember it !!! I have never drunk like that since !!

And I AM going to stop on Wednesday - both cigs and AL. I WILL do this. It will not be easy but I am going to get through it. Hubs said he is going to stop with me. We have had a few incidents where he has had blackouts and not known about it until I said 'well, I told you last night', and he swears blind that I didn't. I explained blackouts to him - it does NOT mean that you pass out ! I think it has opened his eyes a little knowing how far along he is. Anyway we are both stopping on wednesday and me with the cigs as well.

I have never seen Luther - I love New Tricks - is it anything like that? I really enjoy British police dramas and will get them on DVD when they come out over here so maybe I will look out for that one.

Oh - the reason I am stopping taking the antabuse is 'cos I need to do this on my own. My therapist is doubtful about it (Antabuse) seeing as it is still giving my power over to an outside substance. SO, I am going to give it a darn good try !!!! I MUST do this. It is not going to be easy but I will succeed !!! I KNOW I will - put me in your thoughts everyone !!!!

Re the cleaning - sometimes it is just good to decide to say, clean one cupboard - or hoover one room..... once you have done that it often goes on to more. But just say to yourself that you will do ONE ! Energy creates energy Space !!!

And on that note, I need to get back outside to my extremely difficult task of digging out along the edge of my veggie patch - with SUCH dry grass it is really hard but I am taking it slowly and gradually getting there.

love and hugs to all,

love, Sun XX