Hi all
Sun I am very proud of you for not drinking and being happy with it. I know you say it is easy and you are doing nothing but you have put in the work with the therapist and sticking with reading and understanding the books so it is you who is doing all this.
I also totally understand what you mean about just not thinking about drinking because that is the state of mind I have had most of the past 8 months, there have been times when I thought about drink but couldnt see the point but then I had my little experiment to see if I could just have a drink but as I said I was scared it would go out of control so stopped again using some antabuse. I am back to just not really thinking about drink again and not bothering with the antabuse because I only needed it for a few days or so. After my experiment I have decided that I dont want to drink for another while or rather think about whether I will, I have more to work on right now and for me the drink is a side matter nowadays rather than the main issue.
Bri so well done on those 5 days, yes your body does take time to heal and get used to not having drink inside although I dont know if its about the calories so much but you do need to eat well now, drink has starved your body of its nutrients and you need to put them back, your weight isnt really the issue here is it while your working on drink. I think it is the topa working but you also say you are reading the Allen Carr book so you are also helping yourself in other ways rather than just waiting for the topa which is really good. I have read quite a few people say that book helped them a lot. Tell us what happened over your weekend I look forward to hearing, enjoy yourself.
Meggie you say you enjoy your friend the drink but if that is really true why are you looking for a way to stop drinking. Do you really believe that drink is your friend, I understand because I used to call it my friend, but if it is a friend its not a very good one, it treats you like shit amd just leaves you feeling bad. I dont know if you are able to pay to skype the therapist or could just use the books but in the meantime maybe you could try some guided meditationwhich is free on you tube and only takes a half hour or so a day and may help your mental state become clearer. I have found a good one called "Meditation for anxiety and depression Leonie Faye" if you just put thast into you tube you should find it. Also I am trying to put on binaural beats while I go to sleep. You can also find these on you tube if you look for one around an hour long and just put it on before you settle down to sleep it may help with your sleep as well. There are a few different ones and I am using an Alpha one. Do you take vitamins, a vitamin B complex is cheap and will problably help you as alcohol destroys your b vits and they look after your central nervous system.
I have had a pretty crap day. I listened to my stuff last night and this morning was very tired but got up and had a drink and took my [pain meds which I have to do every morning then wait for them to kick in before I can move properly. I again listened to my meditation so all was well. I had planned a chilled out day but as my son had stayed in my daughters last night I went to collect him around 12ish, she then got me to give her a lif to my aunts where she cleans and gets payed for it, I ended up having to stay and wait for here for over an hour because it had started raining and then my mum was going on thast she needed a haircut and will I do it then, in the car going to my mums my daughter starting snapping at me again, she talks to me like shit some times and expects me to take it, today I had enough and ended up telling her to f off left her at my mums and drove home. I have felt ill all day with the stress, had a headache and not even able to get myself together enough to cook tea. She can be abusive and when she was younger used to be violent towards me, she was a terirrible teenager and I do think her behaviour was partially responsible for me having a breakdown and drinking so much. Although she doesnt live with me anymore so it isnt constant like it used to be I am not prepared to take it now, I cant I am too ill for it all. I do hope this doesnt end in my not being able to talk to her but if she doesnt stop I will have to stop seeing her I think. I am trying to get myself better and I cant have her dragging me down. It will break my heart she is my daughter and I dont know why she treats me so bad, she used to say I deserved it because I drank but she started it before my drinking became a problem and is continuing it now when I dont drink so it has nothing to do with my drinking at all thats just an excuse she used.
This is so hard for me but it needs sorting and I have to do it now because it will jsut continue forever if I dont. She is 26 and married so you would think she would have grown up and come to her senses.
space x
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