Okay. I am really going to try to not ramble on too long here.
SUN! *~* Quitting smoking can definitely be tricky...my boyfriend has tried time and time again. I just up and quit...not sure what stuck. I was sick for a week and went four days without smoking and just decided not to pick up again and that was that. That was nearly 3 years ago. I have faith in you Sun, you can do it.
I am currently reading Mindful Recovery by Thomas Bien. I just started, so I don't really have an opinion on it so far. I did read Allen Car's book...and I am not sure what to really make of it. It is my second time reading it, and some of it does make sense to me...
I just hate people compared to others...it just makes me feel like "less" of a person? If that makes sense? Because I am ME, so what is the point?
It just has me overthnking and feeling more down and out sometimes. Especially feeling as fragile as I do right now.
SPACE! *~* I hear ya...being compared to is just not nice...and so I completely understand what you have gone through when you have been compared to your brother. My Mom and I have a pretty good relationship...we are so close and like best friends that sometimes when we get into arguments we tend to use things against each other that we know will hurt our feelings.
I know that I have many things to be proud of, but I feel like I haven't "accomplished" anything. Like...no medals, or certificates on the wall...or...anything, Ya know? I know that sometimes things like that aren't important...just would be nice.
Needless to say, I didn't really relax over the weekend. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I always need to be on the go. :/ Lol.
It's as if I sit still for too long my brain goes into overdrive and I can't have that.
PLAY! *~* Do you think willpower is wrong when dealing with our addictions? I just read Carr's book and he seems to think so but I don't agree with everything he says in that book so I am curious as to what everyone thinks about these things.
I don't think I will stop the Topa. Tomorrow I have a check-up appointment with the doc about the Topa. I am curious what he will say. He allowed me to try this as an off-label use...so we'll see. I guess I should write notes down. I also did blood work. I wonder what my liver levels were like a month ago. :/
I'm going to also Google what you suggested. I am interested in meditation, mindfulness as well as Buddhism. I also have heard of Peda Chodron...she interests me, as do her books.
I also recently purchased a Habit Change Workbook...I wonder if that will help me along.
I almost had a drink yesterday...as my boyfriend and I were getting on one anothers nerves. I was |---| this close...but then I laid in bed and just rode it out. I thought to myself that if I drank, sure I would feel better for that hour...but than I would feel like such crap the next day. I would feel disappointment and I don't want to go through that anymore.
Upping my dosage on Wednedsay. Hope it gives me the kick in the ass I need.
I also need to do a little better at time management and do a little more practise at my mindfulness as well.
Exercise (my daily walking with my pup and boyfriend) is helping too...sometimes I am so lazy...but I gotta do it. It really does help.
Okay. I gotta shut up!
Time to work!
Welcome to all the newbies! I keep talking about myself!!!
Oh, just wanted to ask...how are you doing Downsouth?? Are you still sober and how many mg of Topa are you on right now? I don't know how I missed your message! Omg. Must be the Topa Dopa! :P
Bri.*
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