New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there - first of all lovely to see you post funny girl - and thanks for the support re the smoking. Today is day 2 and it has been harder to quit this than the drinking ! But I am determined. It is good to hear from someone else who has done it and is ten years out but could still pick them up - I know what you mean !! But I HAVE to do this - I am bound and determined to get rid of all my addictions !!

Hi there candle - welcome to the thread - hopefully we can offer support and be here for you. You said you are on week two of the programme - are you on Topa? Or are you taking supps? What are you doing? I am so happy that our thread has shown you that it can be done - with whatever methods work for us as individuals. I have finally stopped drinking, as has Play - we have used positive thinking, beliefs, and a desire to progress spiritually - which still seems amazing to me that it has worked - it is really like a miracle after so many years of AL. L-Glut and Kudzu worked for me for a while as long as I took it, topa worked - Antabuse worked. so please share what you are doing.

I am so happy to see that your thinking has changed and thanks for sharing your stuff with us. Good for you on a good first week and try not to beat yourself up when you don't do as well as you wanted to - this is baby steps - trust me !!

Hi there Space - you sound as if you are grieving for your childrens babyhood! You need something to do - don't you start your OU course soon? That will keep you busy! How are things going with your therapist?

I was hoping to get out in the garden today but it is going to be a real scorcher - temps over 100 and that is way too hot for me so am not sure what i am going to do with my day.......pick some tomatoes first!!

love and hugs to all,

Sun XX

[CandleInTheWind]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Sunshine (you amazing person you),

Thanks for the reply - I'm on Topamax 25mg moving to 50 mg tomorrow. Everything else as per the instructions - as much as I can source in SE Asia where I'm based... Curious - did anyone else get really bad weepy reactions to the hypnosis? Is this usual?

Flicker

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey there candle - I never did the hypnosis and the only other person that I know who did, found the voice extremely annoying so stopped them. I think it might be a good thing that you dissoved into tears - it is a release for you of sorts - so it is a good thing !! Way to go on the Topa - I think you are doing so well - great that you are so dedicated to all of this - that is half the battle I think - really wanting to do it! I am proud of you for going at it with both guns - or all guns or whatever the saying is - LOL !!

hugs, sun X

[CandleInTheWind]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks sunshine! I had to compromise on a lot of the package - where I live doesn't allow for easy mail delivery of stuff so the recommended supplements "available in most stores" simply ain't! However, on the plus side I could get the entire 12 week Topa course over the counter no questions asked for ~?220 $350 so swings and roundabouts!. Anyway, didn't even try to get the MWO CDs thought I'd see if there was an "App for That" - of course there is - about 4 or 5 in fact and the one which seems best suited to controlling as opposed to cutting out is the one sends me over the edge. Also has an accent I can tolerate happy to share if anyone interested ?

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome Here Candle,
Wow, it is very nice to know that we have been helping people out there in "lurker land" and didn't know it. Sometimes I look at the number of views our thread gets and realize that there must be many people keeping up with us as there are just a few of us posting most of the time. Aside from the love for my friends here, you give me another reason to keep posting. And yes, we are real people, not just voices out there in cyber land and we are a kind bunch here I feel.

And BTW, that hypnotist from the MYO site was just not inspiring to me at all and I only listened a couple of times. I don't say that meanly I just have never figured out why the MWO site picked him for their program, oh well I later found Wendy.com and love her stuff. Another fun thing to do is read our soap operaish thread all the way thru, there are many wonderful stories and information.

I have not been posting quite so much because I am spending more of my free time on my program which consists basically of energy work with a therapist, reading spiritual works, meditation, listening to classical music and in general working at raising my level of consciousness. It has been a miracle for both Sun and myself, we have quit drinking with no cravings and are just in a different space now in our lives and it extends far beyond just the drinking. One of my teachers said that you don't have to give up Things, just the Attachment to them.

Ok, I have a few other people to catch up with but will close for now and send love to all my dear friends here:h
Play

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Candle, just want to say a quick welcome to you. I have also used the MWO hypnosis cd's. I cant remember exactly because it is so long ago now that I got them but I think I did use them for a while until I got bored with them, there is lots available online both on iTunes, you tube ect.ect. so I do find it good to change what I listen to otherwise it does get a bit samish. I do find that guided meditation/hypno is great when I remember and can be bothered to do it and think the fact that it is having such an effect on you shows that it is working. I cant believe you can buy topa over the counter but cant get the supps!!! Taking a decent multi vitamin and especially vit b complex will help also though because the alcohol does destroy the vitamins in our bodies so we need to give restore that. The topa does work so please stick with it and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Good luck

space x

[CandleInTheWind]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello Space and Play (as I also bow down to you both as inspirational presences here). I do relate to the soap-operaesque comment - as part of the lurking behaviour I did read through - see the comings and goings and shared experiences some very funny (one of my favourites being the lengths we go to to avoid our local grocery store realizing how much we drink). It is that stuff that makes it real for us and shows we are not unique and probably most of the stupid, unsupportRable, dangerous things we have done or thought about doing have already been done many times before by many on this site.

So Play and 'Shine what's it like on the other side? How have you replaced your old 'friend' alcohol? Sunshine had a "little addict" to deal with and I think I have a naughty child in me that really quite enjoys the rebellion aspects of the addiction. Did they sink away with the craving? Or did you deal with them through other means? Really interested in those stories.

Just because I'll probably never get the chance to write the next line again I thought I'd take the opportunity here... I'm driving back from watching Elephant Polo and reflecting on how things are going. My bad Friday turned into a bad Saturday. Having committed to a company event (aforementioned Elephant Polo) I engineered to travel on my own, and my first post above was from a bus (oh dear left it too late for car hire) with a half bottle of wine in my bag - didn't need it, didn't really want it *but it is what I do* anyway day continued - made sure I arrived late to evening function so drinking will already have started and my early start be not noticed. Anyway again not a disaster but same old same old behaviour. Today though, much better. Elephant Polo (making the most of it) is a boozy affair and I turned down at least 3 legitimate opportunities for drinking. I set a real leaders example "guys you go ahead if you want to drink - its just I fancy a juice right now". I accepted ride home with some of the team and just popped 50mg Topa so hoping back in right direction. Take care all. CitW

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

ELEPHANT POLO ???? ROTFLMBO !!!! Well - the mind boggles !!!! Yes, it isn't often one can bring that into conversation is it? How funny. Anyway it sounded as if you did really well with thr drinking. Is the Topa helping you yet or are you just being really good? One caveat ..... do not stop the Topa at the end of the 12 weeks if it is helping. Continue taking it - once you stop it never seems to work the same second time round.

I am assuming my little addict that you mentioned is the smoking? That was no little addict!! That has been worse than the drinking to stop. Today is day 3 - I didn't even count days with the AL 'cos I just didn't want it. The stopping cigs is not easy at all - but I am doing it and will continue doing it.

Umm - I suppose if I have replaced AL with anything, it has been fizzy water. Or plain water. I have also kept myself really busy - either reading or clearing stuff out. I don't really even think about the AL at all - as Play said, I am in a totally different space these days and am enjoying the new thoughts and feelings I have swirling round in my head.

I laughed at you and the rebellious streak Candle - umm, yes it did sink away with the cravings but can rear it's head now and then - but I just have to deal with any emotions that come up and work through them - life is really interesting !!

Candle - what was the app that you downloaded for the hypnosis - just curious?

Space - good advice about the vits/supps - I hadn't thought about that. Yes, that is important. You are sounding so much better these days - you have changed a lot over the past year I think - and yes, for the better !!

well - I am going to go and bake a peach almond cake - yum !! back later friends,

Hugs to all,

sun XX

[CandleInTheWind]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It is true....

..grown men and women on great big grey elephants hitting a small white ball with a stick. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. Chose the only sensible path possible and gazed adoringly at the pachs...who seemed to understand (as long as I fed them bananas....)

Think the Topa is helping but the old me (maybe I should say the "other me") is breaking through from time to time - I hope higher dosage will help - and your advice/experience about first time being a charm has been very well made - thanks Shiny - I will continue to take it to the grave if it keeps the cravings away and means I can manage without AL.

How have the folks around you managed with the new 'you's? has that been a problem? - was it like everyone has thought "oh thank goodness xxx has got a grip" or were you more closetted than that and everyone went 'what happened to old so and so'?

The App I mentioned is a hypnosis app - I searched the App Store for (lots of stuff actually but finally) "Hypnosis Alcohol" and found four decent hits. The best of these, for me, was "Control Alcohol" by Darren Marks. Has multiple Audio and Video tracks (I ignore the latter). Big caveat here - the content you get on all these stores is heavily dependent on where you are registered - esp where your means of payment comes from - I am a UK entity as far as Mr Apple is concerned, so I get UK-type content, including Darrens not too irritating Thames Estuary accent - so not everyone will get the same returns.

Space - I have def. gone with shoring up my vits - although the brand names are not here I have tried to find equivalents (and does make your pee smell like a health food shop - or is that just me?).

I'm off for my nightly chat to kids, then dream of peach almond cake ...

SOOOOO happy to have virtually met you all...

CitW

[playland]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Dear Candle,

I plan to write about your questions to Sun and I regarding what do we replace AL with, how do people around us view us, etc., etc. I will start by recommending a very easy reading book called " the Emotion Code by Bradley Nelson and if you feel comfortable to PM me with your email address I will forward it to you electronically and otherwise you can just purchase. I recommend it because it is a very basic system that Sun and I have been working with thru therapists and it will explain about releasing the energy associated with emotions that we hold in our bodies or something like that

Another book that we have used for meditations is "Loving Kindness" by Sharon Salzberg and we are studying David R Hawkins.

Sun and I have tried many ways and once we started this work it set us free and I mean that in the literal sense of the word, a problem with alcohol is not even in our belief system now

Wll try to catch up more tomorrow as I'm heading out for a visit with my mom today who lives in another state.

Love,
play

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Candle - you make me laugh! The stick has to be VERY long for the men and women to reach the ball !! Elephants are rather big...... the mind really does boggle..... what fun though... as long as the elephants enjoy it that is !!

By the folks around me, I assume you mean family and friends? I never used to get drunk - and friends never knew that I did drink - we are fairly quiet and do not socialize much. My daughters are pleased that I have quit - not that it has made any difference to them but 'cos I quit, hubs has quit and they didn't like it when he drank - he did change ! He didn't get bad drunk but he did change so it is great that he has stopped too. I think I am the one that it has meant the most to. It has been a thorn in my side for so long. I finally feel as if I can move forward in my life.

I laughed at the "thames estuary" accent - and wonder where you would place mine ! I am from UK and have a very middle of the road accent - how come you are a UK entity as far as Mr Apple is concerned?

My almond cake will not finish cooking. I have just covered it with foil so it doesn't cook any more on the top ! I also made some beetroot lentil onion soup which sounds odd but tastes delicious ! And some cornbread with spinach and onion and cherry toms from the garden.

Now I am hungry and am going to check my cake again.....

Hugs, sun Xx

[NoraC]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello everyone!! I haven't stopped by in forever.

I haven't read back yet but I skimmed a bit.

Sun & Play have both stopped drinking??? How did you do it? How did you get to that mindset?
Congratulations!!! :goodjob:

Going to read back now. :wavin:

[CandleInTheWind]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Dear Sunny - I have pictures if I could work out how to attach them and remain anon - they are very, very long sticks. And the Elephants love it - aparently if they don't want to play they simply stop and get subbed off to the shame of the Mahout. One of the Rules - "Elephants are not permitted to lie down in front of goal". really. Anyway, that part of my life is behind me, now. I was wondering how it would work if you quit AL but those around don't - well done for your Hubby too! Don't you just end up sitting staring at each other in the evening? Ah no, you cook cake! (by the way, cooking with almonds, notorious for moisture issues - if you used ground almonds it is likely to stay on the soggy side - but thats good! Yummy!) I'm a Brit who has worked abroad loads, US and now Asia - but kept the old UK accounts...

Play - happy to PM I am an avid reader and really want to get to the bottom of the spiritual side - just need to work out how to do that, this Social Media stuff has somewhat passed me by - any help or pointers gratefully accepted.

Keep on truckin'

CitW

[spacebebe01]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It sounds like you are determined to sort this out candle which is a great start and should make the topa work better I think as you are not drinking so much. I do think it really depends on your own life style whether people around you react, my drinking at its height was very very bad, I was probably the heaviest drinker on this thread so when I stopped it was a great relief to everyone, I have been a single parent for a long time so my children where the most affected. I has in fact aken me a long time to get a grip on stopping as I would stop for a while, by whatever methods but then start wanting to drink again after a while and for me the times I drank got less and the times in between got longer. Also I got diagnosed and treated for bipolar last year which I had known something was wrong for years but convincing doctors is another thing, especially when your drinking, and its on the NHS in UK they just don't want to know, I was just another drunk to them.

Filling in time hasn't been much of a problem to me really, which is surprising because drink had filled all my time before, I just didn't find anything constructive to fill my time with unfortunately which is why I am now starting to study for a degree, I have no formal educational qualifications so this is something I never really thought I would do.

Social Media is not my strong point, things like facebook, twitter have passed me by and I struggle with Skype, I think maybe too much of the reall me shows through, although I don't know why because I probably writie more personal stuff than anyone else here as well so the real me is on these pages for the whole wold to see. I have never thought of it like that before, in my mind this thread is just the little group of us.

Im not into the spiritual stuff so if that's your thing tho its play who is into it most I think but whatever you write you will probably get a variety of responses un less you are talking to anyone in particular.

OK Ive got my app[ointment with my pdoc this morning so I best get a move on, then see my therapist this afternoon, I didn't see her last week because the Monday was a bank holiday and it seems an age away, also I don't think Im really moving along with the therapy right now but that's probably because Ive had so many breaks with seeing her, today I don't really feel like going even and have lost the positivity I had when I first started,something I need to talk to her about, surely she cant have anymore holidays to take so I hope to get the rest of my time with her constant.

space x

[CandleInTheWind]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Gosh Space - heck of a story and amazing what you have achieved for you and the family. I am in awe! NHS has a lot to reccomend it but mental health is not one of its strong suits. Well done too on taking up studies - it will definitely be something to be proud of - let us know how it goes.

On the spirituality side, I too am not in the least bit spiritual, and that's what I'm worried about. I guess if enough people tell me that there is strength to be found there or maybe broken stuff to be fixed there then I want to investigate it. I started the hypnosis with a huge dose of cynisism then found myself blubbing like a baby so it is interesting for me to dig further. I'm never going to 'get' religion but given that that has been an emotional crutch for millions of people for millennia there has to be something in it, maybe. Right now, I'd paint my arse blue, stand on the top of the Eifel Tower and sing Dixie if it got me in control AL.

Now back to the pseudo science - I have now derived a number of conclusions from this thread:
1. All British women, of 'a certain age', no matter where they live, are either alcoholics or former alcoholics. This is probably something to do with Margaret Thatcher.
2. If you are going to have a drinking problem, you probably also have a well developed sense of humour.
3. All problem drinkers are kind.