New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

Sorry I'm being quiet, never really recovered from being sick and I can see hubby's getting fed up with me feeling bleh all the time. I'm doing some jobs everyday - sent away my permanent residence application yesterday (it's quite scary to have to post both you and your husbands passports to the government in case they get lost) but I'm not getting round to everything.

I think I may have a stomach ulcer, had bad stomach ache and at night I feel ravenous and then SO full and bloated after half my dinner. And any wine also feels like its 'fizzing' down there. I'm taking Zantac but it's obviously not a permanent solution.

I hope everyone is well and will check in soon.

:l:l:l

[omahawagon]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi everyone, SunshineDaisies invited me over so I just wanted to say hello. I've been on Topa for a little over a month and it's already working well (not perfect but well!), I have substantially reduced cravings and have my fingers crossed. I am going to try getting though some of this thread!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey there omaha - amd welcome. the thread has been rather quiet of late but if ever you have any questions, usually someone can answer them! I am really happy that Topa is working for you - it does take time generally but is great when it does work! Feel free to tell us a bit about yourself if you want to .....

I was on Topa ages ago and it worked for me but I had to get up to 300mg for it to do so - at which dose I had terrible depression despite being on AD's. Finally quit it - and started drinking again. Tried taking it again and it didn't work the same - but I was scared to go up to the 300mg anyway. Right now I am not drinking, mainly due to a fantastic therapist! I never drank huge amounts but was a nightly drinker and the amount was going up very slowly ! Anyway things are good now thank goodness.

Again, welcome to the thread!

Dizzy - so sorry you are feeling under the weather. You have had so much going on though over the past 6 months - a year and it has all probably caught up with you. It does sound like the beginnings of an ulcer - you need to probably see a doctor and get some stronger meds or something. Hope that you feel better soon :l:l

Love, sun XXX

[Calikime]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DizzyBee;1582352 wrote: Hi all

Sorry I'm being quiet, never really recovered from being sick and I can see hubby's getting fed up with me feeling bleh all the time. I'm doing some jobs everyday - sent away my permanent residence application yesterday (it's quite scary to have to post both you and your husbands passports to the government in case they get lost) but I'm not getting round to everything.

I think I may have a stomach ulcer, had bad stomach ache and at night I feel ravenous and then SO full and bloated after half my dinner. And any wine also feels like its 'fizzing' down there. I'm taking Zantac but it's obviously not a permanent solution.

I hope everyone is well and will check in soon.

:l:l:l

Hi, I am a newbie here so I don't know if your being sick was due to stomach issues or not, but I have some experience with that that I thought I would pass on. I was diagnosed with GAD in 2007 when I was having a tightness in my stomach that just didn't go away. They thought it was GERD, but when the Gastroenterologist did an endoscopy he did not find anything wrong with me (like an ulcer or GERD etc.) and he felt I was suffering from anxiety. It turned out I definitely had an anxiety disorder. After reading Dr. A's book on Baclofen I really saw how anxiety and over drinking were so intertwined.

Another interesting thing was that after four years of being diagnosed with with GAD I was diagnosed with Colitis (the one I have is Microscopic Collagenous Colitis) and I just finished a book on that very topic and in that book he writes that anxiety disorders are extremely common prior to being diagnosed with one of the Gastrointestinal disorders. Again I may be way off base with what you are dealing with, but just thought I would throw that out there. Hope you feel better soon!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hello all -
It's been a few days since my last post. Lots going on!

Welcome Calikime & Omahawagon - hope all goes well w/ you. Stomach probs & whatnot...hope this med works for you both.

My daughter was prescribed TOPA for headaches 6 months or so ago. She says the tingling is driving her crazy and at first she had the "dopa" of trying to find the words. I didn't bring it up and she is so young & only drinks 1x/wk or so...so the drinking not an issue, but from what she says and what I see when she is home, she is not int'd in drinking except when she goes out w/ friends. She has lost her appetite & about 10 lbs...interesting.

DIZ - hope you are finally feeling better soon! Loved the Halloween pics! I love telling my classes that it is a world-wide observance, but Americans have been the ones that made "trick-or-treating" the popular activity.Halloween does have a very colorful history. Fun times~

Funny Girl - hope you can catch a breath soon. You sound ridiculously busy, but also that the TOPA is working somewhat for you. Hope all goes well

Stuck - have fun this week! Can't wait to hear (censored) details!! LOL Glad you are doing pretty great, all things considered! You deserve happiness and hope you find it with this girl!

Meggie - good for you! Sounds like things are going well w/ the + thoughts and meditations (?) Hope school is ok too!

Dear Space - hope you continue to hang in there!! Sorry the house didn't work out, but that's be/c it wasn't right for you! The House Gods have a plan and you will find the right one soon!! Good you are moderating and doing fairly well, according to you. I think you are doing amazingly well and hope you will try and think positively and move forward!! You are a wonderful, thoughtful, insightful person who deserves the very best LIFE has to offer.

We ALL do, and we need to remember that. Including ME!! I have such a mixed opinion of myself...having been really thin and toned for the first part of this decade, in the last 2-3 years, a few pounds (10--15) have crept back on and I can't seem to shake them off. My drinking has gone up & down...I have managed to keep it down in the overall numbers recently, but it's not consistent. But I drink more than the average person,I know. I have also not gone out on date in nearly 2 years...I am quite content, have many friends, entertain myself well and feel pretty happy & content.

That being said, I exhausted match.com and my golfing gf has had a lot of success w/ Plenty Of Fish...So last Sunday I set up a profile. OMG!!!!!!!!! The response was overwhelming. I was so flattered, but of course most of those profiles who contacted me were totally not my type. Long story short - struck up a conversation w/ a man on Sunday who I met on Wednesday...

WHEW!!!! Overwhelmed w/ his attention, professions of "what may be" and how he likes to treat women. Suffice to say, he is filthy rich, pays for everything, likes to shop ("pay for everything"), go to the ballet, symphony, out to eat at the finest places, he cooks too and all I have to do is "sit there, look pretty & drink wine". Over the course of our 3 hr first date, I was pretty taken aback. He showed me his hi-rise loft ( in an old historic downtown Houston hotel w/ restaurants & bars where we met)...it was like walking into an art museum!! I was blown away. Very wary, of course. Told him I like my solitude and privacy and this will have to take place over time. I have dated some wealthy men, but for whatever reasons didn't hit it off...he was Ready/Set/Go right then!!

I'm going to proceed slowly, of course. I am totally NOT a gold digger, but who canNOT escape the obvious?! I would LOVE to be treated like a queen and pampered...remains to be seen how it will pan out. We were supposed to go out to a chi-chi restaurant tonight, but he woke up sick and begged off...I believe it. I think he's really lonely and bored and wants a companion who will commit to much more time than I am willing to give. Am curious about it all. The other thing about first dates is while they're doing all the talking about themselves, we're drinking. He does talk a lot...many stories. That's ok, as long as I can handle it!! lol

Anyway - he's kind-of a character: scruffy w/ a blazer. Longish gray hair, jeans w/ a white dress shirt untucked, beneath a navy blazer. I kinda liked it. Not sure. Eccentric millionaire?? Why hasn't someone latched on long before now?! His loft was like the Houston Museum of Fine Arts - amazing art, sculptures, silk rugs...perfectly appointed. OK!!! Let's go!! LOL - we shall see - Red flags are up, but HELL!!! I can do a few nice dinners and see what happens in the meantime, and no, he does NOT play golf. HMMMMMMM - not an issue at this point. Will keep you all posted, but HEY - he seems like the perfect man for now!! We shall see -

Hope all else is well w/ all of you!

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Beautiful , peaceful Sunday, love the idea that I have tomorrow off. I feel like I am getting sick. I can't get sick because I have parent conferences and the big observation this week. Teaching has become such a battle. The crazy observations, the paperwork that means nothing and hovering parents that want me to pack the bags of their kids.
houtx, you sound so much like me. I have always been thin( worked at it) I have been a gym junky, and have been toned. I always thought my weight wasn't good enough. I have also gained about 15 to 20 pounds since turning 55. I am no longer a small or medium. I know I have lost a lot of muscle. I don't feel as pretty, but I didn't when I was thin. I look at pictures and wonder why didn't I appreciate that person.
Well, I am trying to appreciate what my body allows me to do. Soon, Houtx, we will look back at these years and wish we enjoyed the ability to move, bend, walk. I have spent so many years comparing myself with others, dealing and not enjoying the little things. p
My husband is dying, he may have 10 years, or less. I should have left years ago, but didn't. His energy is so negative, I find myself staying away from him.
Houtx, I wish you luck with this new man. Enjoy him, enjoy the life he has. If you don't feel joy with him , step away and look somewhere else. Maybe, look to yourself. You must enjoy yourself because you like being alone.
I am finding that I drink less if I focus my energy to the positive, and look for joy. At my age I have to find something more in this life then what I have had. I have already lost so many years to fear. I just watched the Bucket List, that is a movie that will make you take a good look at your life.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well I might be in a relationship now. On the plus side, jacuzzi-sex is pretty awesome. But can someone tell my why alcohol tastes so, so good no matter how you take it - straight, on the rocks, licking it off your fingers after pouring a glass, chugging right out of the bottle, or even in a tequila-lime glaze or bourbon BBQ sauce, and I had a delicious Maker's Mark ice cream last Thursday - EXCEPT when the taste is on someone else's breath? Christ, kissing this girl after she'd been drinking was... unpleasant, for the most part.

Oh well. I'm back in LA now - had a very nice week, even as I was doing lots of work while there, and missing out on a few lunches and even a house party on Friday, when I hid in the bedroom working the entire night. But like I said, it was a nice time over all. 6 months AF yesterday.

Hope everyone's doing well - and welcome to the new folks

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Meggie - sounds like we do have a lot in common. I HATE not liking my body these days. I actually like my naked self more than I do in clothes! LOL I am obsessing about it too much. I never had the belly and middle fat I have now. Comfortable jeans no longer fit at all - held together w/ big safety pin thru the button loop!! I think in terms of "that was when I could buttin my jeans"!! Sucks

BUT, that said, don't you agree being in education, most teachers are FAT!!!??? I might be feeling bad walking in the door, but hell, I am anorexic compared to my colleagues!! LOL I really do know that I look ok/better than the average bear...but I miss being skinny!!! lol

We will see how it goes with/ this man and another one on the side-lines. Obviously I feel good enough about myself to start dating again. UGH - we shall see. I am sooooooooo sorry about your husband's illness. I hope you can manage your way through that. It sounds heart-breaking.

Stuck - good luck with the romance! So happy for you being sober for so long!! Amazing - not so for this chica. Hope your inspiration rubs off.

Hope alls well w/ everyone else on here, too.

[free2bch]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - I am fairly new here. Posted a few times, but then went off to drink of course. I have been very resistant to a lot, but I am thankful that I trust my doctor because now I'm in a position where I HAVE to do something about my drinking. I had my annual exam/blood testing and my liver functions showed a big red flag! My numbers doubled from all previous before and my doctor, who has known me for almost 20 years, flat out asked me if I was drinking! Yes, I said. What else could I say? She said my numbers are not horrible and they are reparable BUT, they are NOT good. So, I can certainly continue to drink, but things will only get worse for sure. Fortunately, I had found this site and she was willing to prescribe Topamax for me! So, I will be starting that out. I think at 25 mg first, then moving up to 50 mg. I know there can be some scary side effects (I welcome input on those), but I'm pretty much guessing that they are less of a problem than liver failure. I have a lot to live for, so I'm hoping for some real solutions here. Thanks for being here and for listening.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

:welcome: Free

Someone please tell me to stop reading thefix.com. I am about to drive to a rehab center just to punch someone! :H

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome Free - first of all - not everyone gets SE's from the Topa - I didn't get any except for when I got to 300mg dosage and then was very depressed, but for the most part, you won't neccessarily get SE's so put that out of your head!! If you think you will get them, you will! When i started taking it I deliberately didn't look up SE's for that reason, and was fine. Topa Dopa maybe - but that could have been age too - LOL

Anyway yes, start at 25mg and go up by the book. Never try and go up faster - it doesn't work any better. So happy you have joined us here and shout out if you have any questions.

Hey there houtx - sounds like things are going well for you. Your new b/f sounds fun so just take it as it comes! And stop worrying about your weight - it doesn't help to worry - all it does is to entertain you. I have actually gained about 8lbs and my jeans 'fit' !!! LOL

Meggie - how is the AL going? You sound calmer than you used to - so your new outlook is obviously helping you. lovely to hear!!

Stuck - good for you with your g/f. Sounds as if things are going well but did laugh at how AL tastes wonderful EXCEPT when it is on your g/f's lips/breath! Does she drink much? And wonderful on your 6 months AF - just wonderful!

Got to go and start my car - really heavy frost last night and bitterly cold out. I LOVE my seat warmer - best thing about my car in my opinion !!

Hugs to all, Sun XXX

[free2bch]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks Sunshine :-) Glad to be here!

[free2bch]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sunshine - did the Topa work to diminish your cravings? If so, so you drink occasionally or are you completely off? I would love to return to a normal state of drinking, mainly because it is such a social thing. But if that's not possible, then I want to be free from the cravings!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Free - YES, the Topa took the cravings away totally !!!! In fact I was cross, as my head wanted to drink but my body didn't !!! The body won out - and I didn't drink.

As I had to come off it, I did start to drink again ..... but have managed to find a happy inbetween now. Now, I have a really wonderful therapist and have changed my whole outlook on drinking and such - because of the depression at 300mg (which was how high I personally had to go although most folk never have to go that high) I can't take the topa. But these days, I am happy with my drinking - however, the Topa did work for me and i wish I could have stayed on it - it is awesome. If you are on it and it works, you can go out - and you will either not want to drink, or if you have one, you won't want another. One caveat though ....... you CAN drink over the topa !!!!! One has to still be aware of AL. If that makes any sense at all? Probably not - you can understand it when the topa 'works' - you will know what I mean.

I am so happy that you are trying it - it really is a great tool ! And remember .... NO side effects - get that in your head - LOL !!!!!

Hugs, Sun XX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

We get a newbie and all of a sudden this thread slacks off. C'mon folks, work with me here. I need something to read!

Sorry, I just do not feel like working right now, which should be fine considering it's almost midnight. But isn't. I am sooooo swamped with side jobs and it's just stressing me out and I do not feel like doing ANYTHING, but still have some more schoolwork to do before tomorrow. Grrr.

So what's been up with me? About 1/2 a week back from San Diego, and things are still good with the girl, I think. I think? I don't know, maybe the magic has worn off? Am I in a relationship now? I think I just tonight made plans to go to New Orleans for a weekend next month with my ex-girlfriend. That doesn't seem like something a guy in a relationship would do.

F**k it though, everything feels like a sh*tshow right now and I'm just so tired. Still doing fairly OK on the not-drinking front, and by that I mean I haven't had a drink. I meant to take some Xanax recreationally down in SD last week and brought it with me, but I forgot to take it. And started taking gabapentin a little more regularly when I get down, mostly at night. Seeing how that goes but 600mgs doesn't seem to do much of anything at all, really.

Well, that's about it I think. The bartender moves into her new house this weekend - that's exciting I guess. She's going to be just on the other side of Dodgers' Stadium from me, but I don't think that means I'll be getting invites to any housewarming parties or anything, if ya' know what I mean.

EDIT: Nevermind. No more work tonight. Sleepytimes. G'night, all. :l