New here and starting Topa and with a question

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stuck, what a weekend for you. First off, congrats on your paper, and sounds like despite your anxiety it went off very well. I hate public speaking. I used to teach, and that I loved, but speaking in front of my peers and/or betters, horrifying. Even if I thought I was mentally prepared, at the last minute I'd break out into a clammy sweaty and almost pass out No one understood it, they thought it was quite funny and unjustified. So I relate to needing the bender afterwards, although thankfully I don't experience anything like panic attacks. I wouldn't worry about the hasty exit - it was near the end of the day, and you'd already answered questions and had some chitchat - bases covered!

Black outs are the worst. Makes for a shitty mood the next day. Wondering, did you brooch the subject with the GF to find out if she could tell? I used to tiptoe around it with my hubby...never wanted to admit I had a black out! The only good thing about them is they're motivating for some AF days. Hope this week's calmer for you so far.

Sun - how about you, did the no $$ plan work? It sounds like a good idea, since motivation is usually higher in the morning, and once you're home in the evening you can try not to head back out again. Is hubby supportive?

My husband is a daily drinker - one of the reasons I lapsed after 5 years AF. He's not ready to try and have some AF days along with me at this point but I am asking him to not go to the pub as often - for some reason if I know he's at the pub drinking, and I'm home drinking my club soda, it triggers me. So he's at least helping with that and coming home after work without his typical pub stop. (not EVERY night, but when I ask him to - at least it's something). I've sent him the baclofen info too, planting the seed.

Topa wise since it's a topa thread, I titrated up to 125mg yesterday. I've had no SE for the last week. Even the tingling in the hands and feet has gone away. I'll stick with 125 for one week, then go up to 150 next Monday....

Monday was rough, low energy, hung over, long day at work, time change. But took my AB and didn't drink. Went to bed REALLY early and slept amazing, no night sweats at all. Tuesday was fantastic. Great energy. Had a quick run before work, had a crazy busy day, cleaned the house between clients, then took the younger dog for a run after work. Nuts. Then woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep so a bit of a zombie this morning, it'll be a long work day......

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Need help from you doggie experts. We have a new 12 week puppy and we have had her 3 weeks. She is from a no kill shelter and lived in a crate. We are potty training and having a difficult time. We take her out during the day every 45 minutes. She goes and also goes by the door. Hubby is gettingfrustrated . We crate her during the night and she does very well.
My daughter just had her out for 10 minutes and she played. When she was brought in she peed. Any suggestions.

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Meggie,

It's a good sign that she doesn't go in the crate over night. She's still young and her bladder is still small. She'll need some patience.

What was suggested to me was to take them out on a leash to a specific spot in the yard for pee when it's time (like walking up and down along the back fence), and no play of leash until she goes. When she pees outside, give her a treat immediately, then let her off leash for play.

If she doesn't pee, and you just have her out for playtime, make sure to watch her like a hawk indoors at all times afterwards, and when you can't watch her, put her in the crate, even if you're just going to the bathroom or having a shower. Sounds harsh I know, and I'm no expert, and didn't follow this advice very well myself!

It took me a long long time to get my rescued pups house trained. One of them was rescued at 6 months from a puppy mill and had never been outside in her life - to her going outside was unnatural at first, but she came around and now is great. It just takes longer with rescues.

Also make sure you buy a good quality product with enzyme's like Nature's Miracle to remove the pee smell from the floor where she goes inside. Normal household products don't cut it, she'll still be able to smell it...
Good luck!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Quick fly by to say I am still around - just a lot of stuff going on. will post either later today or tomorrow - have a great day everyone !

hugs, sun XX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The girl just emailed to start the discussion of her moving out here after we're all back from our Europe trip - so like the beginning of July.

Is now the time to start freaking out?

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

yep, Stuck, start freaking out, celebrating, fantasizing all in equal doses. I'm happy for you. And the trip, that sounds great!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Stuck, Gum and meggie !

I think Gum gave you excellent advice re your puppy Meggie - we have two rescues and one of them still isn't trained properly - she is about 16 - 17 months old and we have had her about 5 months now I think - but she is so shy that it will be hard to train her the usual way - she is pretty good for the most part. But we also have her son - he was a rescue too (obviously) and he took a while to train - he still doesn't let us know when he needs to go out - we just put him out !! Your pup is VERY young - 12 weeks is too young I think for him to hold it for long - but follow the advice that Gum gave you - sounded good to me !!

Yes, the not taking money worked - and I am AF for now ! Also am not smoking cigs either !! Now I have got over the hump of that first day again re the AL, I should be okay!! It is always that first day that I find so hard! And it isn't even with cravings really - just the habit of doing it. I am feeling a tad irritable tonight but didn't sleep well last night so think I am tired and am shortly for bed.

Oh yes Gum - hubs is very supportive and has also stopped with me - he drank more than me, also daily but he always finds it easier to stop than I do. So neither of us are drinking which is great. Sounds good re the titrating up with the Topa - just keep going slowly and one day it will kick in - really it will!!

Stuck - you made me laugh about the freaking out !! Poor you - have you lived with a g/f before? Or been married ? Just curious .....

I need to get to bed - have a good evening everyone,

hugs, sun Xx

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all -
Glad to see all the posts & wish I could comment on them right now, but will be back when I can. Spring Break starts for us now (YAY!!!!!) and off to Austin tomorrow for a 1-nighter. SxSW music fest/concerts going on and its crazy, so hope I can avoid all that and just see my kids and gf. Going to visit a depressed girlfriend who needs a visit but who is very hard to be with for that very reason. I feel inadequate to respond to her problems & get soooooo frustrated with her. Whatever I offer is met with contradictions, opposition, total negatives. I feel sorry for her, but want to just scream, "GET OVER IT!!!" :-(( I know that will not set well with some. I don't deal with depression very well. I am sympathetic to a point and then just get impatient. It's a lot more involved than just this, believe me. I know I sound mean and cold-hearted, and I'm so not that -

I am looking forward to seeing her, but she has so many problems, I honestly don't know what to say. Nor am I financially or emotionally able to offer much more than what I'm doing: an overnight visit once a year or so. Anyway, sorry if i've offended anyone who suffers from depression, as many do. My mother and sister did and do struggle with it, so I know what's involved. I am just at a loss sometimes, what to say. Anyway - did not mean to ramble so. Want to ramble more on who is posting here & will when I get back! Hope y'all are doing well - sounds mostly so

Stuck, Gum, DZ, Meggie, Sun, Efeneces (?) & anyone else I missed...more later! Hang in there

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey all -
Glad to see all the posts & wish I could comment on them right now, but will be back when I can. Spring Break starts for us now (YAY!!!!!) and off to Austin tomorrow for a 1-nighter. SxSW music fest/concerts going on and its crazy, so hope I can avoid all that and just see my kids and gf. Going to visit a depressed girlfriend who needs a visit but who is very hard to be with for that very reason. I feel inadequate to respond to her problems & get soooooo frustrated with her. Whatever I offer is met with contradictions, opposition, total negatives. I feel sorry for her, but want to just scream, "GET OVER IT!!!" :-(( I know that will not set well with some. I don't deal with depression very well. I am sympathetic to a point and then just get impatient. It's a lot more involved than just this, believe me. I know I sound mean and cold-hearted, and I'm so not that -

I am looking forward to seeing her, but she has so many problems, I honestly don't know what to say. Nor am I financially or emotionally able to offer much more than what I'm doing: an overnight visit once a year or so. Anyway, sorry if i've offended anyone who suffers from depression, as many do. My mother and sister did and do struggle with it, so I know what's involved. I am just at a loss sometimes, what to say. Anyway - did not mean to ramble so. Want to ramble more on who is posting here & will when I get back! Hope y'all are doing well - sounds mostly so

Stuck, Gum, DZ, Meggie, Sun, Efeneces (?) & anyone else I missed...more later! Hang in there

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I have a friend who is an alcoholic, I understand but she wants to retire and walk away. There is so much to think about , how to use sick days, get incentives. I am so frustrated I want to scream I want to help her but she plays games and doesn't tell me all. oh, well, some are sicker then others. I think I lived in that cloud for so many years. I need to overcome this illness because I don't want to be her.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Meggie - you can be there all you want for your friend but unless SHE wants help, there is nothing to be done - don't we all know that? Just let her know that if she wants to talk or whatever - you are there for her - otherwise let it go - look after YOU.

Hi Houtx - gosh, spring break? Hope your trip to Austin isn't too bad for you - I so understand the friend with depression thing - been on both sides of the coin so understand !! BUT, it is the same as it is with Meggie's friend - YOU can't do anything. Years ago I had a friend who kept threatening to kill herself - finally after saying and doing all the 'nice' things i told her to go ahead and do it if she kept on about it - but as I believe in reincarnation, told her that she would just have to come back and face the same stuff over again next time round - a week later I got a call from her hubs, saying he had no idea what I said to her but that she had really changed - for the better - after that she really worked on getting herself well. I am not saying that is what you should say to your friend but sometimes they need to see it like it is - all the being nice won't help then at all unless they are prepared to do something about it. WE are all responsible for OURSELVES in the end .... no-one else can live our life for us. I suffered from depression for the greater part of my life - finally getting over it recently but it was ME ultimately who dealt with it.

SORRY to go on about all that - and Houtx, I wouldn't dream of being ticked with you for saying what you did - I agree with you and as I said, HAVE been on both sides of the coin!

Right - well, I am going into the second week of being AF and NF - it has not been easy but I am not going to stumble and fail this time. It has been too hard. I have had a very rough few days - I don't even want to think about how few days it has been 'cos that is depressing - but it feels like months - LOL But I AM going to continue this time!! My BP is doing really really well - bottom number really low and top number getting better daily !!

Off to do stuff !!

hugs, sun XXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, good for you. It must be so hard to do both. I quit smoking about 25 years ago. It took me years to quit the medication and patches. I used them as a crutch. Never did pick up a cig again but had such a hard time giving it up. I am such an addiction freak.
Thank you for all the advice about the puppy. She is so cute, loves to explore and nip. Hubby is sick recently,very tired and his so short with her. She doesn't chew on shoes, just people. She also has some sort of shelter disease.
As far as my friend , she won't answer the phone. As you said I can try and worry about myself. I got sick a weekend ago, sinus etc. Well, with daylight saving no gym and stuffed up on medications. I am sooo tired, almost like a thyroid thing just get waves of exhaustion. Well, will check it out if I continue to feel this way. Enjoy your Monday.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - just got back from Vegas. I'd been AF all last week since Monday, and was actually planning to remain so even while on vacation. I held out the whole first night there (Sunday), out on the town and everything, until about 2am when I ordered a drink at the hotel bar. Then I was up until 8am drinking, so you can imagine. The bartender signed me up for the bar's "whiskey club" without even asking - guess I just gave off that impression? Then a girl who'd just turned 21 showed up and we ended up talking for a long time and she put her number in my phone and tried to kinda kiss me a couple times, but she was *really* drunk so that didn't exactly work out. Plus, I was not trying to hit on her, it was just nice to talk to somebody.

Then St. Pat's day - lord almighty. Woke up at 2 in the afternoon because I'd been up till 8, and started the day by drinking. Went all day/night, and this was the bachelor party for real, so we went to downtown Vegas to this bar that is amazing, it's like my favorite place, and I got sick in the washroom after a whiskey shot and then played a couple games of pool and then we went to a strip club. Basically blacked-out from that point forward, have no idea how we got back to the hotel, but I did end up in my bed in my own room so all's well that end's well, I guess. And somehow, miracle of miracles, woke up in time to shower and checkout at 11 so didn't get charged an extra day or anything.

The drive home was... a little jittery. Drank tons of water but it's driving through the desert, ya' know? And I'm hungover and kinda a little in withdrawal and now finally home and lying in bed, probably going to shower again in a few, and then the girl's gonna call after she's done with her evening Italian class - she wants to hear all about it, and she will, except for the part about the 21 year old.

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Remaining AF in Vegas, on a bachelor party. best of intentions and all, but hell! Good on you for almost making a week AF leading up to it Stuck, and I'm happy you woke up in your hotel room after blacking out Sounds like a not too untypical Vegas trip for many, and it could have gone way South and didn't.
Rest up and have an easy couple days.

Houtx I completely agree with Sun as far as your friend - it's up to her, not you. Otherwise you're enabling. Sure I suffer from depression, but I don't ask my friends to save me from it, if anything I withdraw from them and don't want to bother them with it in my darker moments. It's my cross to bear so to speak. It's wonderful to have someone to listen to me from time to time, but mostly when I'm with my girlfriends I just want to hang out and not have it be about me. That's why I go to a counselor!!!!! and doctors. So that my friends and spouse are not overloaded with my crap

Sun, how are you doing with your cig Free and AF days? Have you found new things to do the break the routing and the cravings?

I was finding motivation for exercise again with my AF weekdays, which was lovely, but had a really nasty fall on Friday morning, bounced down the bottom half of my stairs on my elbows and mid back just before starting work. Was rushing and slipped, clumsy fool! I still managed to get through the work day, but was a bit gimpy. On a positive note, am sure in my drinking days, the fall on top of a hangover would have had me cancelling my day (and costing me $$). But since I was AF all week, I was able to get through it.

No lifting, or running goes without saying. I'm REALLY lucky that working seems to be ok (my job is a bit physical, but I bend at the hips and knees, and it barely hurts). Sitting however, or lifting, or flexing my spine, or any kind of contact on it, OUTCH. Doesn't seem to be getting better. I'm going for an x-ray today, to rule out hairline fracture. Hopefully it's just a bad bone bruise, and I can get back to running soon

Weekend drinking was weird. Usually I'd have a bottle of wine a night Fri-Sun. Well, Saturday I was out of town with friends that are used to me being AF from my long stint of AF years, so it was easier to just abstain than to join in with them in the drinking. I wasn't alone in being AF, friends there have been long time in recovery, so there was support. It just felt like the old days with this crew, where I was one the the girls NOT drinking...
But unfortunately on Sunday I made up for it and had a bottle and a half. Excuse being my back pain, but really I think I was tired and jonesing a bit. That extra half bottle puts me in the messy drunk mode that I'd like to avoid, and my memory gets iffy too. So waking up on Monday with a hangover, not the best, but did make me motivated to start off with AB.

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Remaining AF in Vegas, on a bachelor party. best of intentions and all, but hell! Good on you for almost making a week AF leading up to it Stuck, and I'm happy you woke up in your hotel room after blacking out Sounds like a not too untypical Vegas trip for many, and it could have gone way South and didn't.
Rest up and have an easy couple days.

Houtx I completely agree with Sun as far as your friend - it's up to her, not you. Otherwise you're enabling. Sure I suffer from depression, but I don't ask my friends to save me from it, if anything I withdraw from them and don't want to bother them with it in my darker moments. It's my cross to bear so to speak. It's wonderful to have someone to listen to me from time to time, but mostly when I'm with my girlfriends I just want to hang out and not have it be about me. That's why I go to a counselor!!!!! and doctors. So that my friends and spouse are not overloaded with my crap

Sun, how are you doing with your cig Free and AF days? Have you found new things to do the break the routing and the cravings?

I was finding motivation for exercise again with my AF weekdays, which was lovely, but had a really nasty fall on Friday morning, bounced down the bottom half of my stairs on my elbows and mid back just before starting work. Was rushing and slipped, clumsy fool! I still managed to get through the work day, but was a bit gimpy. On a positive note, am sure in my drinking days, the fall on top of a hangover would have had me cancelling my day (and costing me $$). But since I was AF all week, I was able to get through it.

No lifting, or running goes without saying. I'm REALLY lucky that working seems to be ok (my job is a bit physical, but I bend at the hips and knees, and it barely hurts). Sitting however, or lifting, or flexing my spine, or any kind of contact on it, OUTCH. Doesn't seem to be getting better. I'm going for an x-ray today, to rule out hairline fracture. Hopefully it's just a bad bone bruise, and I can get back to running soon

Weekend drinking was weird. Usually I'd have a bottle of wine a night Fri-Sun. Well, Saturday I was out of town with friends that are used to me being AF from my long stint of AF years, so it was easier to just abstain than to join in with them in the drinking. I wasn't alone in being AF, two other friends there have been long time in recovery, so there was support. It just felt like the old days with this crew, where I was one of a couple of the girls NOT drinking, and everyone else was, but it didn't even bother me...
But unfortunately on Sunday I made up for it and had a bottle and a half. Excuse being my back pain, but really I think I was tired and jonesing a bit. That extra half bottle puts me in the messy drunk mode that I'd like to avoid, and my memory gets iffy too. So waking up on Monday with a hangover, not the best, but did make me motivated to start off with AB.