Stuck, what a weekend for you. First off, congrats on your paper, and sounds like despite your anxiety it went off very well. I hate public speaking. I used to teach, and that I loved, but speaking in front of my peers and/or betters, horrifying. Even if I thought I was mentally prepared, at the last minute I'd break out into a clammy sweaty and almost pass out No one understood it, they thought it was quite funny and unjustified. So I relate to needing the bender afterwards, although thankfully I don't experience anything like panic attacks. I wouldn't worry about the hasty exit - it was near the end of the day, and you'd already answered questions and had some chitchat - bases covered!
Black outs are the worst. Makes for a shitty mood the next day. Wondering, did you brooch the subject with the GF to find out if she could tell? I used to tiptoe around it with my hubby...never wanted to admit I had a black out! The only good thing about them is they're motivating for some AF days. Hope this week's calmer for you so far.
Sun - how about you, did the no $$ plan work? It sounds like a good idea, since motivation is usually higher in the morning, and once you're home in the evening you can try not to head back out again. Is hubby supportive?
My husband is a daily drinker - one of the reasons I lapsed after 5 years AF. He's not ready to try and have some AF days along with me at this point but I am asking him to not go to the pub as often - for some reason if I know he's at the pub drinking, and I'm home drinking my club soda, it triggers me. So he's at least helping with that and coming home after work without his typical pub stop. (not EVERY night, but when I ask him to - at least it's something). I've sent him the baclofen info too, planting the seed.
Topa wise since it's a topa thread, I titrated up to 125mg yesterday. I've had no SE for the last week. Even the tingling in the hands and feet has gone away. I'll stick with 125 for one week, then go up to 150 next Monday....
Monday was rough, low energy, hung over, long day at work, time change. But took my AB and didn't drink. Went to bed REALLY early and slept amazing, no night sweats at all. Tuesday was fantastic. Great energy. Had a quick run before work, had a crazy busy day, cleaned the house between clients, then took the younger dog for a run after work. Nuts. Then woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep so a bit of a zombie this morning, it'll be a long work day......
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