New here and starting Topa and with a question

[Vmarie1]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi!

I am new here and was hooked on reading this thread. I've completed up to page 58 lol! So needless to say, I'm not sure if anyone stayed on the topa or not. Sun I know that you didn't. I am on week three and just began 50 mg 2 days ago. I don't feel anything yet. I have cut back on my own which means instead of5-6 beers every oother day I have 3-4 or a skinny bottle of moscato wine. Anyway I also smoke about 5-6 cigs each time I drink so I'm also hoping that this med helps me with that too. My hubs also drinks each day about 4-5 beers if not more. He doesn't seem to be as concerned about it as I am though. He makes jokes about it oftentimes so I think he is aware that there's an issue but it's not interfered with our lives so I guess that is what makes it ok....for us anyway. Were both happily married with two boys a nice home and jobs. We just look forward to our beers. No emotional issues unless something unusual happens. For the most part were good. We just enjoy bonding over our beers. Anyway enough ramblings. I'm typing this on one of the fancy new phones so I'm sorry if punctuation stinks.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey everyone - and welcome Marie !

Houtx - you are sounding pretty good these days - I am really pleased to hear!! All sounds good with the new fella too - good for you.

Hi there Meggie - how are things going? yes, the thread is very quiet these days isn't it....such a shame but it usually picks up again eventually. So sorry about your friend - it must be really hard for everyone concerned. May I ask how old she is? does she have a husband or partner? Sorry if you have already told us this ...... I suppose I could look back, couldn't I ?

Marie - welcome. I laughed at your reading the whole thread - well, up to page 58 anyway! One of these days I will re-read it I think - it will be interesting to see how I have changed !! I don't think many of us are still on the Topa for one reason or another - Gumtree might still be on it - hopefully she will pop in and let you know - last we heard she was up to 125 I think - then went up again but found it made her tired.

Marie - I didn't feel anything at 50mg - you just have to take it and have faith!! It does kick in eventually, although it is quite subtle. You sound like I was - your AL amounts are not terrible - but more than you would like. I used to drink daily and was only drinking two a day - but had to have those!! I would love to be able to go back to my two a day but now it seems that I have to have none or a lot more than two ! (like 5 or 6). so I have none. I also quit smoking with the e-cig. last cig was 13th march - and only have maybe one or two puffs a day of the e-cig so think I have got the smoking sorted !!

Anyway - if you have any questions, feel free to ask here or PM me ..... someone will have an answer for you!!

Hugs to all, Sun XX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow - it is really quiet on here!

Welcome VMarie - yes this thread goes way back w/ all of us having a history of using TOPA, whether or not it eventually turned out successfully. Hope it works for you even to just cut back, if that's what your goal is. Sounds like you & your hubs are doing well otherwise. Keep us posted

Hi Sunny - how does your garden grow? Summer is almost here - Yay!!

School is out for me next week. Meggie, when are you done? I'm doing the same as ever. Went golfing again w/ new BF on Tues & had a great time. Nothing has happened yet - the fun working up to it continues!

Hope alls well w/ everyone! I read a post from Stuck on another thread & if you're reading, dear man, hope all continues to go well! Hang in there - anyone who can travel to Europe and not drink, deserves a trophy! You continue to amaze me!

Hope to hear updates from the masses

X0

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I never used topa.

Hi everybody! No idea if it's quiet here or not; I haven't been around for a few weeks. Well, I sort of was around earlier this week and a tiny bit while I was away. Anyways, yes, I went on vacation and did not drink. Sparkling water and espresso was 'enough' for me, or at least enough to get me through. I had gone to the doc before the trip and said I was afraid of flying so I got a script for more ativan - in case I fell off the wagon in Europe I wanted to be sure I could take care of the withdrawal. Didn't end up using any of it, though. I dunno, anxiety is weird and I don't know if it's just being tired, jet lagged, or what, but there were some (most) evenings around dinner when I would be out of it and freaking out and getting that world-spinny panic like I'm gonna pass out dead, like right when we're sitting down to dinner. Or maybe it was just overwhelming to be surrounded by people in small restaurants with the tables all close together and all the noise.

Or maybe I just get hypoglycemic.

That's not it. But I made it through, and now am back, and jet lagged again and I don't sleep well to begin with, so this is fun.

Houtx - rock the hell on! I love how you *declared* that he will be your BF. Go get some.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I guess I forgot to log off last time, so hope this flies when I'm done!

Stuck - You're the coolest! Thanks for that pat on the proverbial back! I am so ready to get this show on the road with this man...so far it is 5 golf games, 1 that ended in a casual dinner and playing music at his place. I've sent "nite nite" and "good morning!" texts throughout the last few weeks...it hasn't progressed and I am kind of irritated. He's a fun guy and seems to be into me. I know as not-busy as I am, yet got stuff going on as I do...just am starting to get bored, for crying out loud!! Ya know??!!

Anyway - I took down my profile on the website where we met & froze my membership...thinking I'll crank it back up again. I only think about it when I'm sitting down here and idle, like now, but it's this midnight hour when hell!! he could be over here & us doing it that makes me think I'm spinning my wheels. I went out to dinner with a fun married couple - thinking DAMN, why am I solo tonight?? or ever, for that matter!
I would just like to be in a couple again...I want someone to rub my arm, pat my back, tease me and be a tease! This man is frustrating me!

Hope alls well w/ everyone - totally not about TOPA, huh?! sorry!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I guess I forgot to log off last time, so hope this flies when I'm done!

Stuck - You're the coolest! Thanks for that pat on the proverbial back! I am so ready to get this show on the road with this man...so far it is 5 golf games, 1 that ended in a casual dinner and playing music at his place. I've sent "nite nite" and "good morning!" texts throughout the last few weeks...it hasn't progressed and I am kind of irritated. He's a fun guy and seems to be into me. I know as not-busy as I am, yet got stuff going on as I do...just am starting to get bored, for crying out loud!! Ya know??!!

Anyway - I took down my profile on the website where we met & froze my membership...thinking I'll crank it back up again. I only think about it when I'm sitting down here and idle, like now, but it's this midnight hour when hell!! he could be over here & us doing it that makes me think I'm spinning my wheels. I went out to dinner with a fun married couple - thinking DAMN, why am I solo tonight?? or ever, for that matter!
I would just like to be in a couple again...I want someone to rub my arm, pat my back, tease me and be a tease! This man is frustrating me!

Hope alls well w/ everyone - totally not about TOPA, huh?! sorry!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well I guess me posting the most in the last 5 days means things are pretty slow here! HAHA

So for what it's worth, my drinking is "better" in that I am mostly turning to vodka. Makes my nights so much more manageable (rememberable) and the next day so normal!! I drink wine on the weekends (as I am doing now & let the chips fall). Monday I go in for my 1 month BP check-up since I was put on meds. I think it's better - we shall see.

I'm feeling really good! The next good news is my new bf & I FINALLY had sex last night!! We have been working up to this for too long!! We played late afternoon golf yesterday until about 8, flirted and talked about the possibilities...ordered Chinese take-out, showered at his place, he gave me lounge clothes, we hung out & then GOT IT ON!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO HOOOO

It was SO much fun!!!! I did not act or say anything self-conscious even tho I started out as such - he dug me! I just went with the moment - Now to make up for lost time!! lol

Hope alls well w/ everyone else!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

LOL Houtx - but very true about this place being quiet if you are the one who has posted the most!!!

I am SO happy for you re your situation with golf buddy ..... you sound really happy. And I am so pleased for you. Also if you say that Vodka is better for you than wine, then so be it - I do not understand why though - I don't drink spirits but think if I did I would drink more of them as they are smaller in amount !!

School is out now - yes? Are you going to be doing summer school or are you just having some well deserved time off ? I am taking this week off - I am really looking forward to it and plan on working in the garden and also sorting out stuff in the house.

AL and I are very hit and miss right now which ticks me off. I was so good for quite a while and then started again ....SIGH. I am not drinking every evening and have decided that I cannot mod in any way, shape or form. if I have one, I want at least 4 !! Apart from the feeling after the first one, I don't even like the way it makes me feel any more. So need to do something - story of my life.

Wonder how everyone else is doing? It is SO long since we heard from Dizzy ..... and I often think about Space and wonder what she is up to too.

Have a great weekend Houtx - although somehow I do think you will !!!!

hugs, Sun XX

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Sunny girl - Ok I guess it's just you & me for now! lol I'm going to remind you not to beat yourself up about having a Guinness or 3 or 4 here and there. My personal opinion is that giving up smoking is the HUGEST thing. Even tho I have the occasional ciggie if a friend is smoking, as a habit it is sooooo gross and dangerous for your health. You did a major thing quitting!! Don't be so hard on yourself, as I try not to be also.

Right now, things are really good. For some odd reason I am preferring vodka over wine most nights, but weekends I tend to revert back to wine. I've dropped a few lbs and my mental state is much clearer the next day. I've been put on BP med the last month and go back to see the DR tomorrow for a follow-up. Curious to see if the numbers are down.

New bf is going well, altho I hesitate to call him a "bf" at all. We recently took it to the "next level" and that was great fun - as was this morning's booty call! lol But he is a solo kinda guy, as am I...I just would like to spend more time with him. Take for instance this morning. We hooked up on the spur of the moment, which was great. Afterwards, I wasn't in to hanging out long, so made my exit & we talked about that was going on with us the rest of the day. He said he might ride his bike to a local college baseball game. I mentioned maybe playing golf. We are both iffy - I wanted him to say "Come to this baseball game with me"...and not bike there after all. I texted a bit later where I was thinking of walking on. Didn't hear from him. No biggie. Later tonight (just now) we're chatting, he's saying his boss is in town & he'll be out of commission the rest of the week. Ok - I'm just getting used to the fact he wants a woman when he wants her & no frills, expectations, etc.

I'm just sort-of adjusting my own expectations too. We have gone dutch on everything so far, and quite frankly it's irritating me. I can certainly understand paying my own round & fees when we golf, but...I dunno. I'm starting to be irritated already with the whole enchilada here & that's not good. He has no clue - just a happy, carefree, independent dude. Other stuff probably factoring in too.

Hope alls well w/ you, Sunny & everyone else lingering XO

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Enjoy the no-frills no-strings as long as you can, Houtx! Or else before you know it he'll be packing up all his stuff and moving across the country to be with you and saying the "love" word! Something like that, anyway.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - I second Stuck ..... although it really matters not if I do or don't. But I did laugh at what Stuck said ....... do I detect cold feet ?????

And yes, I am so happy about quitting the cigs - really pleased about that. March 13th was my date !! I feel NO different at all - which always makes me laugh when others say how much better they feel when they quit cigs - whenever I have quit, I feel no different at all. But I know it is better for me - and it also saves a TON of money!!

I hope that you just enjoy your time with golf guy. NOT going to call him b/f - lets just call him golf guy.... do not worry about what will be - be like him and enjoy the present !! I am very happy for you .....

love and hugs XXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey guys sorry I haven't been around. School seems to drain me, it is like trying to coral a bunch of wild puppies. They want to be done and I am still testing and teaching. I have and they have 3 more weeks and a couple of days. We are even starting August 2.
Sounds like all is well, Houtx, I have to say I agree. His attitude makes you wonder what his intentions are. Maybe, he just wants a friend with benefits, but that may be what you want.
I know I would like someone who loves being with me, loves to see what I am doing, wonders about my day and what was new.
Still drinking the gin, but have been so busy in the evening that I have a couple and go to bed. Wish I could go back to wine. It tastes awful now, even the good dry stuff.
Stuck, what is up with the girlfriend are you living together?

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there Meggie - nice to see you again - I am amazed that you still have three weeks - the kids here are out already. And then you start again Aug 2nd ?? What is going on with your school? Did you have a lot of snow days or something? But that many ???

At least you are only drinking a couple - right ? When you had wine, did you have a lot ? Are you doing anything to try and stop - if that is what you want to do ? I am not sure exactly what it is that you want to do re the AL -

I have been trying not to drink at all - but the only way to do that is to take an AB these days. Because it affects my tummy, I can only take a 1/4 tab and then I scrape some more of the tablet off - but in my head I have still taken it - so will not drink on it for at least two days. on the third day while my resolve is still good (in the morning) I take another 1/4 !! If I do not take it first thing I end up buying some Guinness ! And it shows me that it IS all in my head as when I do not have any on the days when I have taken the AB, I am fine - no cravings !

Oh well - keep on trying eh? have a great day/week everyone.....

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Goddamn it's slow around here. Good for you, Sunny with the AB and not drinking. Hope everybody else is doing well and almost out of school for the summer and whatever else. :l

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi Stuck - yes, it is slow around here right now !! That is a huge understatement !! One of the reasons I am trying not to drink too, is that I sleep SO badly when I do - I have night sweats which are awful ! And it doesn't even have to be a lot of AL either - it seems that ANY gives me the sweats now, and when I don't drink, I am fine ! I love the feeling in the morning when I wake up and realise that I slept well too - and that feeling when I wake up and know I will feel good when I get up!! It makes such a huge difference !!

Have a great week all !!