New here and starting Topa and with a question

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good for you Stuck. I am still interested in your profession.
Treetops, good to see you.
Sun, my vegetables look horrid. What do you use for mulch?

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Great to see you, treetops. Jump in anytime! And thanks.

And thank you, Meggie. Sorry about your vegetables.

So how's everybody doing?

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It's good to read the posts here - Stuck, you amaze me how long you can go before going on a bender. Hope you remain on the good side for as long as you can handle it. Maybe the gf will help keep it real - hope so! Will be looking forward to the stories of her arrival and adjustment. Interesting about your novel - topic?

Meggie, hope these last few days go fast! I've been teaching summer school and it's finally over next Thursday. Good $$ tho, so worth it. And the kids are a bit more motivated to pass...most of them at least.

The "new not bf" is still about that. He is being too flakey for me. I had a great dinner party last week w/ some of my musician friends I hadn't seen in awhile. Last minute he started texting me and I wound up inviting him. We had a great time, friends all loved him, he fit right in, had great sex and all seemed good.

He introduced me to aging pro golfer Doug Sanders who I am now working for part-time getting ready for his last Celebrity Golf Classic in Sept. Ugh - he's a nut and I've been spending long hours trying to help him. Anyway - talking to the Not-bf off & on about what I'm doing. We made plans to play golf & have sex after (lol) last Thursday. I was supposed to text and see how his day was going & when he could get away. He texted me back he was having dinner with his buddies!! I was pissed. Then he had the audacity to ask if I wanted to come over for sex before I went to play! Long story short, over the course of the weekend he blew chances to see me 3 times. Disappointed in the boy

So in the meantime, I met another guy last night who seems like a much better prospect! Details as they become available! I've lost about 8 lbs in the last month and feeling a lot better. "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille" lol We shall see.

Switching to vodka has really been a good thing - thinking fewer calories has contributed to the weight loss, plus I don't get as loopy and wake up feeling a lot better. I drink wine on the weekends & it's working for me. Unless my daughter comes home and gets mad at me for stupid shit and throws in "alcoholic" in her rants at me. Thankfully it doesn't happen often, but it did last week & really made me feel like shit. Then I got over it. Ugh -

Hope all else is well w/ everyone! What a weird post from "jglmnop#$%^&*" or whatever that was!!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It's good to read the posts here - Stuck, you amaze me how long you can go before going on a bender. Hope you remain on the good side for as long as you can handle it. Maybe the gf will help keep it real - hope so! Will be looking forward to the stories of her arrival and adjustment. Interesting about your novel - topic?

Meggie, hope these last few days go fast! I've been teaching summer school and it's finally over next Thursday. Good $$ tho, so worth it. And the kids are a bit more motivated to pass...most of them at least.

The "new not bf" is still about that. He is being too flakey for me. I had a great dinner party last week w/ some of my musician friends I hadn't seen in awhile. Last minute he started texting me and I wound up inviting him. We had a great time, friends all loved him, he fit right in, had great sex and all seemed good.

He introduced me to aging pro golfer Doug Sanders who I am now working for part-time getting ready for his last Celebrity Golf Classic in Sept. Ugh - he's a nut and I've been spending long hours trying to help him. Anyway - talking to the Not-bf off & on about what I'm doing. We made plans to play golf & have sex after (lol) last Thursday. I was supposed to text and see how his day was going & when he could get away. He texted me back he was having dinner with his buddies!! I was pissed. Then he had the audacity to ask if I wanted to come over for sex before I went to play! Long story short, over the course of the weekend he blew chances to see me 3 times. Disappointed in the boy

So in the meantime, I met another guy last night who seems like a much better prospect! Details as they become available! I've lost about 8 lbs in the last month and feeling a lot better. "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille" lol We shall see.

Switching to vodka has really been a good thing - thinking fewer calories has contributed to the weight loss, plus I don't get as loopy and wake up feeling a lot better. I drink wine on the weekends & it's working for me. Unless my daughter comes home and gets mad at me for stupid shit and throws in "alcoholic" in her rants at me. Thankfully it doesn't happen often, but it did last week & really made me feel like shit. Then I got over it. Ugh -

Hope all else is well w/ everyone! What a weird post from "jglmnop#$%^&*" or whatever that was!!

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Can't delete the duplicate! WTH - site freezes up. I'll try later

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

LOL Houtx - what duplicate ?? I do not see any post - let alone two from you !!!

Meggie - I do not use mulch - I weed !!! or have the veggies so close that they do not have a chance to get weeds - what veggies do you have that look horrible ? Sometimes they just need talking to, and some water - preferably rainwater if you have a water butt! My basil really perks up when I water it with the water from my rain butts instead of from the hose. If I could, I would have a dozen water butts and water everything from them!! It would save on my water bill too !!

So Stuck - three more days of freedom - LOL. I so hope this works out for you.

Taking a couple of days off this week and enjoying it so much!! Going swimming with daughter shortly - then coming back to work some more in the garden. NOT drinking today !!! (didn't yesterday either so woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed). It seems that my body has changed somehow and even with one or two drinks, the next morning I am not full of energy the way I am without AL - so I really need to quit totally !! A work in progress!!!

Have a great day all, Sun XX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

All I want for today is to see something other than my exGF's tits all over Instagram.

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Its so hard to quit, I was so proud when I told my counselor that I got hangovers when I drank little. She said that means my body wasn't cleaning itself out like it should. Kinda put a scare in me. Not enough to stop.
We just had lots or rain, flooding. I don't like using my facet to feed the plants.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Everybody gets hangovers when they drink a 'little'. Just look at poor Ne on her thread this morning, after 3 drinks last night. The difference between alkies and the rest of the world is that we are so used to drinking every night and having to get up and deal with sh*t the next day that we don't generally notice the hangover 'cause it's just another day. It always seems like when you're cutting back or not drinking every day that you really notice the crappy way you're feeling - because you can compare it to non-hungover mornings.

Plus, at least for me, when I quit drinking, man that first week I sleep so poorly that I wake up feeling *worse* than if I'd drank the night before. Of course there may be something to the body cleaning itself out and whatnot - don't want to take the scare out of you if you're hanging on to that, Meggie.

Anyway, hope y'all're having a good one today. The GF started her drive this morning. 4 days. EDIT: Why do I keep saying this crap like it's a Doomsday countdown? This is a good thing, it's exciting. She's going to be here and we're going to have sex all the time and she's going to cook delicious food for me and then she's going to find a decent job and we'll get a cool, bigger apartment maybe even with a washer and dryer, and I don't have to be alone all the time anymore. This is NOT a tragedy! Just a change, I guess, I get twitchy around changes.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ok so I wrote last night, nothing long or major, the site froze up and finally duplicated my post. Attempting to delete one post, I obviously deleted both. Trying to get on today, the site freezes up and then says I'm not connected to the Internet. So until the weird microwaves in the air clear up, I'll make this quick. No updates on me yet...but lots to share.

Meggie hang in there - hope school is out for you this week. I've been teaching summer school the last 4 weeks and its finally over next week. Can't wait!

Stuck - congrats on 3 months AF! That's amazing! Yes, be excited about the girl - it will be great! Keep us posted.

Sunny & everyone else - hope alls well!

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

yesterday was my day. I wonder if this will be my last year teaching. If it is then this will be my last summer vacation. I am not close to my husband, my daughter loses her insurance and I will still be under 60. Will my next year be all lasts. Lots to think about this summer. My husband already made the comment about not being able to stand the summer with me around every day. Oh, the joys of marriage and you wonder why I drink.
Stuck, enjoy young love but don't let her do all the cooking Show her you care by helping her or making a meal for her. I will have to trust in a higher spirit to direct me. I haven't been to the gym and plan on something this summer.
Sun, that wonderful spiritual place I was is gone. I hope to find it again this summer as I toil in the garden and do my landscaping. It is fun to see all the beautiful plants that are out there.

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Glad everyone has commented, it was stuck there for a while.

Yeah, Sun my liver count was elevated 21/12 months ago but hubby and I did two months al free with a week apart. We were a bit bad the last week though as we went to a riverside restaurant last Saturday and the weather was so good we had to have some prosecco and then he brought a colleague over mid week so I had no chance for AB. Leaving tomorrow so packing like crazy here!

I have found CBT to work for me when I don't drink, when I do, I can feel my depression getting worse. Anyway, did lots of beauty treatments and tanning and lost 8 kg since the beginning of the year with the help of gym so feeling quite pleased.

Yay on ciggies Sun and I too find AB to be my best friend in the struggle against Al.

Houtx, please share your missed post(s)?

Meggie, you sound so sad, did you say you tried CBT before? I don't want to interfere with your relationship but so far from what you said he seems mean. Are you sure you want to be with HIM this Summer? Just asking.

Stuck, don't be a woos, all the jitters will calm down soon. I know I'm female but didn't want to get married til my mid thirties as I was chasing something better. I'll be married a year on July the 4th and even though I love my space and it's had its ups and downs, I've never been happier because I'm no longer holding out a piece of my heart just in case. Hope that makes sense.

Hugs to all.
XOX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

What is CBT
I don't know if I am sad, it has been this way for awhile. I am blessed with a lovely daughter and good friends.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

There's lots of info about it everywhere, but the gist is that you learn to accept negative thoughts without judgment. If you have anxieties, fearful thoughts, whatever, and you feel like you can't stop them from coming into mind that's OK. You pause, realize you are having a negative thought, and then accept it as a thought - but without assigning it the negative emotions/feelings. That way, you take the sting and the power away from those kinds of thoughts.

Lately CBT is pretty popular hand in hand with Mindfulness therapy or Mindfulness Meditation. That's another acceptance sort of thing, but with bodily sensations that you kinda just sit with and accept without freaking out about. When I hear this stuff, to me it sounds like 'suck it up and deal with it like a man,' but to be fair that's pretty much exactly what *I* need to hear.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey again -
DZ -good to hear from you! You & hubs sounds like you're doing really well. Congratulations on your 1 yr anniversary! Where did you say you're going? I'm always thumbs up on those who can pop the AB and go a few days AF...which I used to do! I really haven't been motivated to...mainly b/c the switch to drinking vodka/sugar-free tonics has been a major change for me. Anyway - some details into my stuff:

The "new/not even a bf" sort-of fizzled b/c he's on again/off again and not hearing from him for days, especially into the weekends tends to piss me off. Then there was a weekend or so ago, he blew 2 chances to be with me & play golf, hang out, have sex...aw dat! He blew it off in favor of dinner with his buddies or just failure to launch after an hours or so worth of texts, no communication at all,etc. So in my mind I shut it down, decided he's a free spirit, only wants a fuck-buddy thing, etc. Flash forward to 2 days ago I was in Ft Worth for a wedding, I suddenly hear from him.

In the meantime, I went out on a meet & greet and met this really HOT guy (of course "flakey new bf" is also pretty hot but this new guy is just on a different level). So new guy is someone I actually want to pursue. He has contacted me before from this "dating with herpes" site that I have not been on in at least a year. I don't know what prompted me to go there when he contacted me for about the 3rd time, this time, but I did, and I was like "WOW! Ok!!" So we met and hit it off big time. He was all smiles and flirtatious, we talked golf and the possibilities, have been texting all week, etc. I have been totally into him and then again wondering how to talk to the "new/not real even a bf" about what the hell he's thinking & needing some definition. But I let it go and days went by before i heard from him.

Saturday night in Ft Worth for this wedding, he "new/not even a bf" starts texting me and what started out as flirtatious (Me: You ought to be spanked!! Him: When When?!") got into how ticked I was, it wasn't a big deal, I was over it as it was clear he wasn't/isn't all that into me...I have gotten out of my shell, sex with him was great, I've lost 10 lbs over a few short weeks, but I had been deflated & disappointed on more than one occasion several times over the course of our "friendship".

Long story short, after long assed texts late into Sat night after this wedding, he sort-of gets all "but what about...? and how can you let this go??" stuff. Yesterday a couple of "Good morning/Drive safe/did you make it home" and a couple of funny ones. That was nice, so now I'm suffering from the emotional hangover of all those texts and thankfully did not hear from him. I told him I need attention on a semi-regular basis just to show you're in to me. So I think yesterday may have been the start of what may be his attempt at a come back. I'm thinking I may actually just keep him as a fuck buddy after all until I explore the possibilities of the NEW potential bf! LOL at least after we have a timeout. I'm so ehhhhh after the night of texting, I m too tired and weirded out to see him anytime soon. It's the 4th of Juy and my birthday is the 5th. I have no plans so far, but thinking I'll toss the ring into New/potential bf's space to see if he's interested in spending it with me.

I'm feeling good about my drinking levels, but the original "new/not even a bf" drinks like the Irishman that he is, never seems to be drunk & goes on & on, always tolerant of everyone else, drinks like a fish on the golf course and still is practically a scratch player. I like that! Not sure what the deal is with the new/potential bf, but get the impression he's a bit stricter. He certainly takes his golf game very seriously - doesn't drink while he's playing except rarely. That kind of bugs me...but we'll see. I'm in the middle! lol

I'm in an overall really good place with my self-satisfaction. Summer school is over in 3 days and I can hardly wait. In the mean time, been working part-time with aging golf pro Doug Sanders trying to organize his Celebrity Golf Tournament in September. That's been a trip - but I need to make the extra $$ and if I don't commit murder/suicide, it will be a major miracle. Hope this goes thru - I better stop now and send!

Hope all else is well out there!