New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy birthday Houtx :bday7: Wow, you sound like a teenager in love with all these prospects and good for you. I hope you get the guy you deserve or that 1st guy mans up. Seems he is starting to take the hint. Enjoy your time off.

We went to Venice and Rome for our official honeymoon. The apartment in Venice was gorgeous and like a art gallery and the hotel room in Rome had lovely air on as it was hot and humid as hell. We had fun with lots of relaxing, some sightseeing and getting tipsy at night with our romantic dinners out.

Meggie, Stuck did a good job of describing CBT. You don't talk about your past but how your thoughts and actions control your behaviour and vice versa. It makes you see that you CAN do something about depression ie on a bad day even going to the gym will trigger a thought that says 'I did good today' and you are less likely to have feelings of powerlessness which in turn will spur you on to do another positive behaviour. It's quite straightforward but it does work when you acknowledge and follow the positive actions especially and try to rid yourself of unnecessary self criticism. We can't control the world, just who we surround ourselves with and how we deal with situations.

That's my 2 cents, how's everyone else. Sun?

XXX

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Happy Birthday to Space
...if you ever come around here anymore.
:bday3::bday3::bday3:
XXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

My new pup drank out of the toilet and shook jr head and blew my motherboard. Gotta love that new dog. Houtx I would love to have s girls night drinking and tslking with u. I would love listening to you anf your life. Thanks guys for the description of positive thinking.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

YAY - so good to hear from ppl! DZ - you're sounding good & the honeymoon travels & all sound fun. Meggie - hope your computer survived the doggie waterboard attack! ACK Yes, it would be so fun to have a girls weekend with some of us from here! I had one with WTE over a year ago - it's great how we can meet and be totally cool and so totally on the same page! Wish we could do that for sure! More details later of the 2 men I'm juggling - UGH!! It's such a trip - take care

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

It *is* lovely to see people posting here a little again. Everyone sounds pretty good except for the computer mishap. Things are good with me, drinking a little too much but not completely out of control. The girl is great. She's all moved in and most of her stuff is settled and found a new home among my things. She's cleaning and shopping and sleeping in in the mornings while I write. I get up anywhere between 8 and 10, and I've usually gotten in 2 or even 3 hours of writing by the time she wakes up. Then we have something to eat and hang out for the afternoon. We've already been to a couple LA type events in the evening and we got drunk with a friend of mine last night. Today we went shopping for an air conditioner and a couple things at The Container Store and then we went out for dinner. She dropped me off at the bar because I had said I'd order a book for the bartender (I have free shipping with Amazon) and so I had to drop it off. And I'm having some drinks on my own now before going home.

We may not end moving to another apartment after all. I suggested that it wouldn't take much for everything to fit comfortably in my place - just putting a coupe of my bookshelves in storage and then getting a new couch and maybe a small dining table. We'd save so, so much money on rent and the cost of a move itself. So we might do that. I'm pretty excited about it, actually. I know I've been looking at apartments and dreaming about my own room for an office and laundry, but f**k it. We can get all that next year when we move out of LA.

Anyway, hope everyone's good. :l:l:l

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

You sound happier then you have in a long time. I am so happy for you. The pup killed the motherboard. It is so hard to get used to a new computer after 5 years. She and that cat will be the death of me.
my friend with the near death drinking is better and in a rehab place. She is alive and may even go home some day.

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

wow, did everyone die. This thread is soooo quiet. Wondering how all is making out. Sun, what does it mean when a plant starts making flowers instead of food?
Stuck and houtx, how are the the boy and girlfriends. I don't have much a life so I need to live yours.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I was actually just thinking about this thread, and figuring it was down on page 2 or something. Nice to see you, Meggie. Hopefully the new laptop is working out OK?

The girl is good. She's been here about 3 weeks already - it's amazing how the time flies again when I'm drinking. She is looking for a job, sending out applications online everyday, and she's getting out a little bit to shop for groceries and we went to brunch with a couple of my friends yesterday. Then she took a 4+ hour nap, so I played Xbox and then went down to the bar for a few hours.

I'm not feeling too terrible with the drinking - a little jittery in the evenings until starting to drink, so that's not good but not as bad as it's been either. Not sure what I'm trying to do. I think I need to get back to quitting again soon, but not exactly motivated to do so. Though I'm sure it's not much fun for her to be stuck here in this new city with a guy who's drunk every night. We're watching TV - The Wire, among other things - and she's into that, and we're having some sex most days. Yesterday was good for that, we went straight into the bedroom when I got home from the bar before she cooked dinner, and then again before going to sleep. I've been sick with a head cold and chest congestion the last 2 weeks almost, so haven't really had the energy for much. Though still making sure to make out a bit.

Sorry, that's probably more than you wanted to know. She's good, I just hope she finds a job soon and gets to know the city a little more and finds some things in the evening to do to keep herself entertained, since I only seem to want to play video games and drink and then sit at my desk all day. I don't mind going to movies, but I don't go just to go, ya' know? I can't stand paying fifteen bucks or whatever and wasting several hours of my life watching some piece of crap. Whereas she'll go watch something just because it's a movie and going to movies is a thing to do. The other afternoon she went by herself to a matinee, and that was great with me, so hopefully she doesn't mind doing that once in a while.

[spiritwolf333]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

StuckinLA;1676067 wrote: Everybody gets hangovers when they drink a 'little'. Just look at poor Ne on her thread this morning, after 3 drinks last night. The difference between alkies and the rest of the world is that we are so used to drinking every night and having to get up and deal with sh*t the next day that we don't generally notice the hangover 'cause it's just another day. It always seems like when you're cutting back or not drinking every day that you really notice the crappy way you're feeling - because you can compare it to non-hungover mornings.

Plus, at least for me, when I quit drinking, man that first week I sleep so poorly that I wake up feeling *worse* than if I'd drank the night before. Of course there may be something to the body cleaning itself out and whatnot - don't want to take the scare out of you if you're hanging on to that, Meggie.

Anyway, hope y'all're having a good one today. The GF started her drive this morning. 4 days. EDIT: Why do I keep saying this crap like it's a Doomsday countdown? This is a good thing, it's exciting. She's going to be here and we're going to have sex all the time and she's going to cook delicious food for me and then she's going to find a decent job and we'll get a cool, bigger apartment maybe even with a washer and dryer, and I don't have to be alone all the time anymore. This is NOT a tragedy! Just a change, I guess, I get twitchy around changes.

Stuck -I know, I don't know a damn thing about anything and should keep my opinions to myself. However, after having read this post, I just wanted to make one comment: Life really does get a whole hell of a lot better once you quit drinking -or at least this has been my experience. And thanks for the advice that you give to others regarding baclofen and short term sobriety.

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

spiritwolf333;1683890 wrote: Stuck -I know, I don't know a damn thing about anything and should keep my opinions to myself. However, after having read this post, I just wanted to make one comment: Life really does get a whole hell of a lot better once you quit drinking -or at least this has been my experience. And thanks for the advice that you give to others regarding baclofen and short term sobriety.

Golly, Spirit, I'm so glad to hear that things are going well for you. Thank you so much for joining us here on this thread and quoting that 3 week old post of mine; your input is as always invaluable.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey everyone - guess who !!?? LOL - Sorry I have not been around. I have been going through stuff - haven't we all?

However - I am feeling really good and things are going well for me. I am AF without AB and that is going well too - no cravings and feel good. It has only been a few days yet - up until now to be AF I have been using AB recently but decided I needed to do it on my own - plus the AB does not sit well with me most of the time although to get me kick-started I will use it.

Meggie - what flowers/plants are you talking about ? It depends - usually when a plant goes to flower but doesn't turn that flower into a fruit/veg, generally the flower was not fertilised. Is that what you mean? Why don't you PM me ? tell me what plant you are talking about and I can let you know what I think - although I am not an expert by any means.

Stuck - glad that things seem to be working out okay for you - yes, you both have to have your own space and I think g/f going to the movies or out on her own is a good thing. Once she gets a job it will be better too. It is a shame that you are drinking again - you were doing so well. Are you going to try to quit again or do you want to drink 'cos of the g/f ?

Meggie - really pleased to hear that your friend is doing better - will she be okay in the end now as long as she stays off the AL? How are you doing with AL these days ?

Dizzie - good to hear from you. Glad that you had such a lovely time on your honeymoon - it all sounded quite idyllic - perfect for a honeymoon!! Maybe you can pop in a tad more frequently? The thread is so quiet - and this is the longest I have gone I think without posting but we need more of us here........ Meggie and Stuck have been holding it together recently !!

Hey Houtx - so what is going on with you ? how is the man situation? I cannot go back to the long post that you wrote as on my page it is on the last page - so cannot see it to reply to - sorry!! School is out - summer school is out too - yes? So now you have some time to you before having to go back. How are you doing?

I am sorry I have not been here - no excuses as one does not give excuses to friends - but I just did not feel I had anything to contribute - was going through some stuff and it has just been SO quiet here. BUT it goes through these times and will cycle back up again - I know it will !!

have a great weekend everyone,

hugs, sun XXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

So thrilled to hear from you all. Sun I have been thinking about what you said about anti-depressants. I have had no energy to do anything positive(except lawn work). I haven't been back to the gym, have done yoga. So sun you may be right about the anti=depressants.
Having a colonoscopy tomorrow so all I can do is drink and no alcohol. I haven't done that in 2 years. Will be interesting if I can do it. No food or alcohol.
Glad to hear from all. Stuck, I hope the girl can find a job to establish herself.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

meggie;1684460 wrote: So thrilled to hear from you all. Sun I have been thinking about what you said about anti-depressants. I have had no energy to do anything positive(except lawn work). I haven't been back to the gym, have done yoga. So sun you may be right about the anti=depressants.

ROTFLMBO Meggie - what on earth did I say about the AD's ???? And you never did PM me or let me know what the plant was that flowers but doesn't go to fruit ....

Good luck with the colonoscopy tomorrow .....

hugs, Sun XX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

To be honest Sun, I haven't been on the post because every time I looked nobody had written. The plant was planted with seeds and what I used to stake it and inform me of what it was has blown away. I thank you for your suggestion. Do you think it is too late to add more seeds?
You mentioned one time that I sounded sad, I had been taken off my Ads. I think you are right, I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm I had earlier in the year. No energy for the gym, positive thinking, quitting drinking, anything. You have given me something to think about.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Meggie - I so understand - BUT it takes all of us to work this thread !!! I too stopped posting as much as no-one else was ..... SO, if we ALL post then it will work ! You can also always PM me - I am always here for you all.....

And you never did say what it was that I had said about the AD's. I do think that they have their place, BUT once I was off them and my body finally adjusted I felt amazing !! However, we all have our different problems and sometimes AD's can help. I was ready to come off of mine.

I had to laugh when I read that about your plants - until I know what plant it is I honestly have no idea. How big is it ? Is it a vegetable ? Do you have any idea at all as to what it might have been ? And you can usually plant more seeds - depends in which zone you are and what you are planting. Again - feel free to PM me. Again, I am not an expert - I usually give my plants two choices - come up or not !! I just love being in the garden.

Lovely to see you here so often now ..... maybe I will come back more...

hugs, sun XXX