New here and starting Topa and with a question

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all -
DZ - I hope you got the job!!
Meggie - these first days are crazy. Hope the weather breaks up there! AC is essential here...
Roadking, welcome & hope other who are still on TOPA can answer your questions
Sunny & all - Love love

I will now digress into complete selfishness. My new bf dumped me via TEXT today DURING SCHOOL!!!! that an "old gf had come into his life" this last week and he can't go to my girlfriend's wedding with me tomorrow b/c they were going to "give it a go"...Sorry, etc. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. Had 4 classes to get thru the rest of the day. I am now home drinking deep and intermittently crying and being pissed off, staring at the walls in shock. He had booked a room for us in Galveston several weeks ago...this ruins it for me. I told my best friends I am too sad and in shock to be there...I'm pissed and broken hearted at the same time...Fucking shit!

He dumped me via TEXT MESSAGE!!! The guy had been intense for the last 2 months!! I thought I'd found my last boyfriend!! UGH - I am a pretty nice looking, in shape, fun, funny, sharp, can sing, happy-go-lucky kinda gal. He never saw me drunk. We had passionate, intense, very real sex. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach today & could barely finish the day. I really thought this guy was different, special...IT. I've been in a state of shock, staring at the walls, crying, mad...in shock, staring at the walls, crying, mad...finally school was out and I could come home and drink.

Texts to him w/ questions not answered. I have no desire to call. Trying not to take it personally, but jesus, how can I NOT??? He picked her. I am in shock. There is no way I could be AF thru this -

I was celibate for 3 yrs because of stupid men shit like this. Then the first guy came along last spring & I dumped him for this new bf!!!! FUCK ME!! Thankfully that one & I rekindled our friendship awhile back, played golf, had some laughs. Maybe we can still be friends and he will make me laugh off & on here...but I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO SAD tonight, y'all & I HATE it!!! Can you believe he dumped me via TEXT????!!!!! After an intense summer relationship???!!!

sniff...I am drinking deep tonight. No apologies. Hope alls well w/ everyone

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

No NEED AT ALL to apologize, Houtx! Fuck that guy. I'm so sorry, sweetie. I can't stay long right now, but just wanted to jump on quick while you're still here. Listen to some good music, be comfortable at home, and try not to think about things too much. That guy sucks and his old gf is a whore.

Big hugs, love. So sorry.

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stuck, I love your youth, you say things so well,it is no wonder you are a writer. Your last line must have made you giggle, houtx.
Houtx, I am so sorry, I found myself so jealous of your carefree life, and you sounded so happy and free. You didn't appear to have the same hangups that I have about myself. So, don't go back to that person. You had two men interested in you at the same time.
Texting someone during work about a breakup is very immature{this must tell you something about the guy}. It also is insensitive and thoughtless. He didn't want a confrontation, he didn't want questions. Sorry, that is not someone you want in your life.
I hope he does get back to you to answer your questions. Why her, why not me? I could say that you don't know there history but you don't want to hear that. Just know we are here and we will listen. Your stories and humor help keep this thread jumping. My heart goes out to you.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - dear Houtx - I am SO sorry - to break up by text is SO immature and selfish - to do it the day before a wedding that you have both booked to go to is even worse, and to do it during the school day, yet another black mark....this chap is the biggest heel of all time. There is nothing wrong with you .... but you know that - it is just so easy to assume that it is us that has a problem when this happens. He was just not right for you and by showing his true colours now he is showing you that. Just do not spoil your whole weekend by drinking all of it - you SHOULD go to the wedding - hold your head up - do NOT let him have this power over you to do this to you. You ARE stronger than this. (((((:l:l)))))

Meggie - I hope that school is going okay - I have said it practically every time I talk about yours and Houtx's job teaching young children - I could not do it !! The very thought of it makes me want to just shrivel up inside. Hopefully you won't have too many difficult children this year.

Diz - fingers crossed for your interview - when should you hear something ?

Stuck - I have never had a drink first thing in the morning - the very thought of it is yuck - and I think - for me anyway - if I did have a drink first thing then I would really start to worry - LOL If I do have too much the night before I could not imagine having some the next morning - I have never been able to imagine how folk can do that without being sick!

I am having ups and downs re the AL - do well then fall off the wagon - the AB really does a number on my tummy and I now take a 1/4 of a tab with even that put in the little gadget that halves tablets !! And it still affects my tummy - yesterday was miserable for me, so am wondering if I just shouldn't take it any more - if it is actually doing damage to me? I had some success with L-Glut and something else but cannot remember what the something else was and am thinking it would take days to go back through this thread - so anyone with a half decent memory - can you remember when and where it was that I was taking? ROTFLMBO !!!!! There were about four different supps ..... Chromium, L-Glut, and two others .... and I know I had listed them on here a few times for others too .... just chucking it out there for anyone that DOES have a good memory ..... or a good way of looking through this thread .....

Roadking ..... I did take Topa and it did work really well for me. I was AF on it for 8 months - BUT I had to get to 300mg for it to work, and it made me very depressed. I did have some Topa Dopa on it - although that could have been age - but I could not handle the depression so came off it. It was a shame as it worked really well as far as cravings and just the desire - or lack of ...... but it works so differently for everyone. It is worth giving it a try anyway.

Well, it is now light enough to walk the dogs - I work today so need to get going. Oh and on that note - I went in yesterday and told them at work that I was retiring.

Love and hugs to all,

sun XXX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Sun, you are retiring? As stated earlier on, I had thought this would be my next year, but I am 57 and don't know what I would do. I don't want to travel with the hubby, don't want to do anything with him because I don't know how he will react. .So Sun what will you do with yourself, you can't garden in the winter.
Houtx, doesn't Sun also have a way with words. The chap doesn't deserve you.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hey Meggie - yes I am retiring. I have been going through a really bad time at work - am not going to go through it all in here on this public thread - LOL - but anyway hubs and I have decided that it is in my best interests to retire. Cannot get social security for a little while but we will manage - mentally I cannot do it any more at work. I do think they were surprised though.

I have to laugh at the amount of folk asking me what I am going to do with myself !! Oh gosh - I do not know where to begin - I have a long list trust me and the winter will be great for catching up on all the stuff that I can't get done in the summer 'cos of the garden!! I have no interest in going travelling - hubs and I will do things like walk the dogs or go for a coffee to do things together - nothing exciting but we don't need exciting.

Got to get ready for work - have just walked the dog - the weather was cooler which after our 110 heat index of yesterday, was lovely ! We had storms last night and had 2 inches of rain too!! YEAH !!

Hugs, Sun XX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I need rain, and we had a little today. I am happy for you and the hub. You are blessed to have someone you want to be with. I need to contact a lawyer and find out the in and out of what a divorce entails. I don't want to live the rest of my life with him and will give up financially what I need. He is bipolar and also sick, I can't live with him any longer. He is crazy and he is mean.
Back to another topic, I used l-glut and bought the herb kudzu. This all worked so well with the topa. I think a divorce would be my best be.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh Meggie - I am so sorry it has come to that but you still have a lot of life left and to live it in misery is not a good life ........ at least go and see a lawyer and find out what would happen eh ??? I am also going to PM you ...... :l:l

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi y'all - thank you so much for the support! I tried to get on yesterday to update but could not connect. Frustrating! So after a long night Friday, the guy did finally start texting me and answering questions...I was very matter-of-fact, asked him what I wanted to know & then was done. Woke up Saturday after 6 hours of sleep and texted him that I hope he had a sucky day on the golf course! LOL I also told him the night before that the biggest shock of all was his chicken-shit way of dumping me!! GEEZ - I really thought he was someone special.

Anyway, I woke up Saturday and thought, "Ya know, I'm not wasting anymore time being sad over his ass!!" I texted my girlfriends and said I was coming to the wedding...then thought I'd contact the previous bf...the one I sort of dumped earlier in the summer, remember? We'd played golf & gone out one afternoon a couple of weeks ago. I actually texted him Friday night while I was drowning my sorrows and he was positive. I thought maybe he'd go with with me...we'd been flirting a bit. Sure enough, he said he would - even knowing he was playing 2nd fiddle. We had a great time...great sex later! I felt so much better!

He & I talked about the sort-of negative things that had happened between us...that led to me following up with this 2nd guy, etc. But only enough to clear the air. Nothing heavy. He's a free-spirit, noncommittal, will never be nailed down. I'm good with that for now. Every time I think about this other guy...I just shake my head. I'm in shock but he's dead to me. Would NEVER be someone I'd remotely consider taking back if it doesn't work out with his new/old bitch. Jesus - Men!!!

Sunny - good for you retiring!! I too could find TONS of stuff to do! Congratulations!

Meggie - get that divorce!! Don't waste any more of your precious time being unhappy. The money will be tricky, but do it!! I can't remember the ages of your kids, but if he's a good father, consider letting him keep the house w/ them and you moving out. It's what I did and what many women do. DO NOT feel guilty!! The first year will be rough with the holidays and crap, but you can do it!! You will look back and wish you'd done it sooner, believe me!! Much as I moan about the ups and downs of being single here, I am SOOOOOOOOO much happier not being married. Maybe after the first of the year...fresh start!!

This has been a long one - hope alls well w/ everyone! Thanks again for your support - I'm good!
XXXOOO

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx, I am so proud of you. I wish I had your strength. I do need to talk with a lawyer. It will make me so angry if he gets a head and I am the one that has had a full time job for the last 30 years.
Getting ready for another day, so far the little kiddos are good, even with the full moon.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Ok - whole new look to the site...going to be interesting to navigate and get used to. Very quiet here - Meggie, Stuck, Dizzy, Sunny, everyone else, what's up?? I've had an ok week since the big drama. Seen my rescuer buddy again, allowed myself to think about the summer guy...it's still baffling, but listening to Hendrix has helped me rise above!! LOL I don't know why but downloading some classic Hendrix has transported me: All Along the Watchtower (Hendrix's version of the Dylan tune), Crosstown Traffic, Dolly Dagger, Live Today, Are you Experienced, & If 6 was 9...it's been some good music to rock to as an escape. I have been ok - hope so for everyone else!

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx - SO glad that you are okay - I knew you had that strength in you - you are way more than a man and I am proud of you for going to the wedding and having a good time - good for you. And Meggie - listen to Houtx !! You CAN have her strength! I know what your hubs gets and you should be okay - at least talk to a lawyer - okay?

Have no idea who knows what but I am not exactly retiring after all .....I am not going to be going into work each week but the place is keeping me on the books for odds and ends ..... but as far as I am concerned for all intents and purposes I am retiring!

Oh - when I put my avatar back in, only half of Pooh would fit so until I can sort that out that is what we have !! LOL

Hugs XXXXX

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

The new site's gonna take some getting used to before I can find my way around, I think. Oh well. Anyway things have been pretty blah here. The girl's still at home, her dad is touch-and-go for the last couple days now. I'm not sure he's going to make it but I am hoping and praying, as much as I pray for anything. I've been drinking, too much. Any much is too much, but I don't know. Trying to work on job applications and just make it through the day, ya' know? It's hotter than hell here, around 100 and will continue through the middle of the week. I guess I'm just complaining? Anyway, hope everybody's doing well.

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Well, hello, i didn't catch the fact that the girl's father was ill. I am sorry, that is so hard. I was drinking very little, and hope it continues. You need to head north, we have been averaging about 70/ We are expecting frost on Thursday. What kind of job are you looking for.:h

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

He's doing better but doesn't look like she'll be back here too soon, either. I'm going to pick up a case of pedialyte to try and stay hydrated. I accidentally kind of tapered off alcohol the last couple days. Didn't mean to drink yesterday but swung through the bar to use the bathroom before getting a haircut, and had a shot and beer. Surprisingly, I left right after and got the haircut. Then had 2 beers while talking with her on the phone - only had 1 left in the fridge after that. Thought about getting more, didn't feel like it, and then thought about drinking the last beer and maybe finishing the bottle of wine she'd left, but didn't feel like that either. So went to bed. Anyway, back to work. And Meggie, I'm trying to get tenure-track professor jobs at universities, mostly.