New here and starting Topa and with a question

[bkyogagurl]

Hi All!

Just wanted to say a quick hello as this was my favorite thread when I first started here...

Sun- you helped me thru so many difficult times. I could never repay-

Houtx- I remember when you were dating and your stories would crack me up...

Hi Meggie!

I hope everyone is well and fighting the good fight.:thumbsup:

Gonna read back thru and see what's happening-

:hug:

[meggie]

Hi all and I agree bkyogurl, this site has been very good to me. The people have been very good friends. I miss talking to everyone. HOutx what is going with school. I have an observation this week, after 30 years I am still nervous. I hate all the paperwork.
Drinking wise I am angry with my self, still drinking gin, stomach is a mess and I need to cut down. I don't black out I just drink daily which is killing my body.
I was getting messages in my email. Now I don't receive any help?

[StuckInCA]

Hi Meggie. It's in 'Settings' I think - there's a button for receiving email notifications of your messages.

Hello everyone else. I'm not around much but kind of getting back into things here. Good to see most of us survived the transition to the new site.

[bkyogagurl]

Hey Stuck!! Great to see you!! I read your post over on Lost's thread. Sounds like you are doing pretty good. I am going to join you in an AF Sunday.. I plan to stay AF til Friday.. I am having trouble giving up the weekend days...

Meggie.. Sorry to hear your stomach is bugging you.. That happened to me a while back and it seemed the only thing that made it feel better was more al.. I too am still drinking try to find some footing. Last month I only drank on Fri & Sat.. But drank a lot on those days.
I have been trying to limit myself to when I start feeling the heavy buzz to stop so I don't blackout. Was successful on TH which I am proud to say I only had 3 beers and last night I drank quite a bit but remember going to bed. Friday was a sh*tshow.
I feel so tired of fighting sometimes... And people say just quit.. "Really" what do they think I have been trying to do... Drink so I can hang out here...

I get a bit frustrated and should stay closer to the threads where I know people understand.

Sorry that was a bit of a vent...

[sunshinedaisies]

Hi there - yes I went to settings and have changed it so it pops up if there is a PM - I think anyway! I am finally back in USA - my case came after I did but I finally did get it - thank goodness !

BK - thank you for your kind words - I do not really recall doing or saying anything special but great if I helped at all ... LOL. I am still sort of in the same space. SO annoying really. I did go through a good time when I quit but then started again - then stopped and started - well, you probably know how it goes ..... SIGH. ONE day I will get a hang of this !! On the positive side - I am off my AD's !!! And feel good. so now I just have to sort the AL !! I agree - it makes me laugh when people say 'Just quit' - yeah right !! If it was that easy, this web site would not be here.

OH - I also have quit smoking too - on the 13th March !! So I do have lots of positive stuff going on. Slowly am getting there .... I do take AB some days - just to know that I CAN NOT drink - and find that jump starts me and then stop for a few more days - which always makes me feel good. Going to UK I knew I would be drinking. Now I am back, I need to get my ducks in a row again .....

Lovely to see you here posting BK - please stay here with us .....we need all the support and help we can get .....

Hugs to all,

Sun XXXXX

[bkyogagurl]

Sun-

How was the UK? How fun to go visit. So you are trying the AB again I know before you said it made your stomach hurt. I have thought about trying it but am afraid of it. Does it still upset your stomach?
Congrats on quitting smoking too!!

I just cruising along today after a sort of grumpy day yesterday. I decided that I would start running again. It really helps my mind.

Gotta go make dinner, check back I soon,

[sunshinedaisies]

Hi there BK - UK was great - it was lovely to see my family although my mum isn't so well - I talked her into getting an appt with her doc to get a couple of things checked out.

It isn't the AB I have decided that upsets my tummy - it is something that I am eating when I take it. Really odd - cannot find out what it is, but am very careful about what I eat when I take it and I only take 1/4 of a tab! Enough to stop me drinking but not enough really to upset me - although it still does if I eat something wrong. I usually have a cast iron stomach so it is really odd. But I am going to take some today to jump start me not drinking again .... I did drink in UK - it is hard not to when I am there.....and need to stop again. I get down when I drink these days which I didn't used to, and can feel it starting! SO, today is day 1 !!!

I am also going to go looking at treadmills today to try and get some sort of exercise programme going - I have gone part time at work - well, even less than part time so am not getting the exercise I am used to. I walk the dogs but a treadmill would be good to have too.....

How are you doing? What are you plans? One HAS to have a plan !!!

Hugs, Sun XXX

[meggie]

Hello all, Sun, how did your first day go. I know I have been so angry and cruel with myself. I have been drinking more and noticed a increase in weight. So, a new day, a new day to adjust. My daughter and I am joining a new gym and we are starting a yoga class at school. When I do yoga I am so much nicer to myself. I take note of my body and its movement and how it stretches my muscles.
Also, Oprah is starting a new set of meditations. Go on to Soulful Sunday to sign up. I need to get back to my spiritual self. When I am there I do less bad things to myself. Busy day yesterday and I was faced with many challenges. Also, a day I remember because my Mother died a couple of years ago on that date.
Best to all.

[sunshinedaisies]

Aawww Meggie - I am sorry - it is still hard even a couple of years later - I still find it hard and I lost my dad over 20 years ago! So a couple of years is still very raw for you I am sure.

My first day was just fine. I popped 1/4 of an AB and then I do not even think about AL. I even slept well which surprised me and this morning feel really good. I am going to take another 1/4 this morning - I know that with such a small amount I could drink today if I wanted - so will take the AB just to ensure I do not !!

The stuff that you have going sounds really good - I will check out the Oprah meditation and I love that you are doing yoga - I used to do it and it made such a change in me when I stuck to it. I am repainting my meditation room - well, have started getting it ready to paint, and was going to paint today but have a dental cleaning bang slap in the middle of the day - bummer. THEN I am hoping to use that room much more than I do now !!

Got to walk the dog ..... have a great day everyone, Hugs, Sun XXXX

[bkyogagurl]

Hi Meggie- what a great way to flip your attitude saying a new day to adjust...
We ebb and we flow huh? I do that.. Start running or training for a while then something will happen and I will decide I need a beer month and stop exercising, eat what I want and drink as well too. It's awesome you are making the effort to join the gym and do yoga...
It's so tough losing loved ones cause we don't really lose them... They live in our heart.
Right around the time of my late beloved grandma's birthday I blindly drink a ton only to reflect back that I miss her. Very much. Hug for you.

Sun- did you get a treadmill? Mine is about worn out.. I would love to have a new one.. We will see.. I have these kids to take care of so it kind of infringes on my $$ for other things.. Hee hee I love them so much I would give up anything for them. Good to hear you are doing well on the AB & it helping you not drink. Are you still a Guinness girl?

As for me... Hmmmm my plan. I haven't drank all week and am wondering when I will. I have just been enjoying my AF days and hoping not to drink to much this weekend but that really isn't a plan...
I am going to a dance class tonight so as long as my BFF drinking partner does come along I will have pretty good luck getting home drink free. But if for some reason she comes and wants to get a drink after my plan will be 2 drinks. As for the weekend... I would like to make 1 day AF and maybe give myself some freedom on the other day... I know that sounds dangerous but the abstinent thing wasn't working for me at all and when I give myself a bit of freedom it feels less like a pressure or white knuckling it.

I am working toward tapering down to where I only have 2 drinks per day always because I am thinking about training for a race again and I want to do it right. The things you do on your recovery days are just as important as training days so drinking 12 beers isn't exactly recovering... HA! Keep working on it right.
Wish me luck... I really am trying to make small changes bit by bit to get where I want to go and to be honest.. It feels like it is working.
Much love to you- BK

[meggie]

I envy anyone who can go without drinking for one day. I rarely go without, even when I am sick. I drink less but I don't do without. I have friends that have been training for races. So proud of them. I need to get my head in order. No, we haven't signed up the gym. I will be doing yoga soon. I hope all is doing well. Last week was such a zoo. I pray that this week will be better.
I had a cat scan, it showed a thickened bladder and swollen lymph glands of the abdomen. Kinda weird and the doc can't see me for 3 weeks. you goggle the stuff and you get all sorts of horrid things.
Have a wonderful day everyone. Need to get to work

[StuckInCA]

Don't google health issues. Ever. Ever ever. It always ends with cancer. I haven't gone a day without in a little bit either, Meggie. It's drinking most days for me these days. Oh well. I gotta get in to see the doc too; had an appointment that was cancelled due to her not coming in that day, so need to reschedule. That was 2 weeks ago and no, no I have not yet called to reschedule. My labs are sh*t, sort of. Cholesterol is ok except the ratio is really out of whack. Triglycerides - I didn't even know what those were until I googled it and found out they are cancer lol. Anyway, have a good one everybody.

[meggie]

Stuck in Ca, thank you for the input, you made me giggle. I know it said I was dying or had some sort of cancer. Many of the parts I had cancer in are no longer in my belly. Gotta, Gotta stop this roller coaster and I have said it so many times. There is always another day, and another. Even the thought of poor health isnt stopping me.
Get to that appointment.
Sun, I see you are on other posts. Any you would suggest?

[sunshinedaisies]

Getting ready for work - will catch up later - have a great day everyone

Hugs, Sun XX

[sunshinedaisies]

Hey everyone - so sorry it has been so long ! No excuses !!

BK - yes I did get a treadmill - it came yesterday and I paid extra for them to put it together for me - it was worth every penny as they were so quick - anyway I am also going to have the lady at the gym work out a weights routine for me (I got a free session with a trainer when I joined) so should have it all covered - I have noticed the difference in my not moving as much since I cut my hours at work!! With my work being as physical as it was, I never had to worry about exercising - now I do !!

Yes I am still a Guinness girl - and the AB and I do not get along. I always feel very unwell on it - someone suggested I check out things like perfume etc. - so I did and there is AL in my conditioner, perfume, an anti-inflammatory cream I have been rubbing on my shoulder twice a day ..... no wonder I wasn't feeling well on it. So I can just not shower or hair wash and should be fine - LOL. I am SO sensitive to drugs !

I wish my Guinness didn't come in four packs .....it would be a lot easier to try and stick to two if I just bought two !! How is that going for you BK ???

Meggie - I agree with you on not Googling stuff- it ALWAYS ends up as cancer doesn't it ? I hope everything is okay for you - please keep us informed (if you want to that is) on what the doctor says - yours sounds like mine - I can never get an appt which is why I don't go - by the time I get the appt, whatever I had would have been long gone - LOL

Stuck - Triglycerides are NOT cancer - ROTFLMBO !!! So - did you ever get back in to see your doc? How are your ratios out of whack?

Meggie - yes I post on the One Step At a Time thread - they are a nice bunch over there - come and join us ! It used to be the Get Your asses In Gear Thread that I used to post on years ago - same folk pretty much - well a couple of them - Mama Bear and Nora, and fen ....the others have all joined this newer thread - but they are nice - no judgement, no yelling - come on over !!! Lots of support and some giggles too.

Must get going - have a great day everyone,

hugs, Sun XX