New here and starting Topa and with a question

[StuckinLA]

Guess I should drop by quick. Been a bit of a struggle the last 3 days or so, been drinking. I hate daytime maintenance drinking, but that's what I've been doing. Don't know why I haven't been able to just pop the Ativan and put the brakes on everything and stop for at least a couple days or whatever. I just don't know. Maybe it's the dissertation, maybe it's the holidays, maybe it's another year coming to an end or waiting to hear about next year or going home to see the family. Not sure, but it's something.

I would like to see this thread get back up and running. You all mean so much to me; I hope you're all having a lovely weekend.

I hate to be a dick and say the same thing on different threads, but I know you guys here don't necessarily read the other threads.

Space, the new site takes some getting used to. I'm not sure how I feel about it, either, to be honest.

[meggie]

Stuck, I have missed you. The dissertation would blow my mind, and you are getting older and want to get your life in order. I hope things are going ok for you and the girl. I haven't visited too many of the sites but may need to . I was going to follow the newbies nest because I really need to quit and get a life.
I have had the flu and today was diagnosed with sinus infection. Yuck, need to get back to the gym and get my life in order. I was so bored lasat week sitting in bed. Thinking of everyone.

[Guitarista]

I was going to follow the newbies nest because I really need to quit and get a life.

It will be a good move Meggie. The newbies nest thread is the best thread on the boards for support to stop and stay stopped. It is hardcore and in yer face 24/7. It pulls no punches, doesn't judge, and you will see no frills love and support from long term sober folk and those at day 1.

Greetings Stuck. Take care of yourself friend.

Best wishes to the reader. G

[DizzyBee]

Hi all,

Hey Space, it seems like have been through a lot in the last year. I remember you not being sure about your daughters husband, so I hope she is Ok now. I also know you said you did CBT and a depression group (Friends in need?) I've been doing both the last few months and it's actually helped me. Not really with drinking but rather with setting and sticking to goals.

I know what you mean with maintenance drinking, Stuck, and it sucks. I'm just riding this roller coaster til the end of the year, after which I will need some sober time.

Good luck with the yucky sinus infection, Meggie. I hope you are better in time for Xmas.

Sun, you've been quiet?

Hugs to all,
D

[meggie]

This is horrid but I am not looking forward to going away for Christmas. I want to stay home and curl up in my bed. Also, I am better when I am not with the family.
Sun, you are being quiet but it is so nice to see others coming back to the site.

[DizzyBee]

Oh Meggie, I completely understand what you mean in terms of family. Me and a bottle of wine + too many family members = disaster. I'm really forward to just spend it with my hubby this year.

Merry Christmas everybody! We're going away on the 26th but I will try to catch up at the hotel.

XOX

[meggie]

I don't drink in front of family or in public. I drink quietly in my bedroom, where it is peaceful. I also never know how the hub will react to my family ,he doesn't drink but reacts to everything and if he misconstrues something he can be a jerk. My daughter and I worry about his outbursts. He has ruined many a Christmas.
Have a wonderful holiday everyone and let's all be good.

[StuckinLA]

Meet Christmas, friends. I was not looking forward to this trip at all. But I'm home, and so out of sorts/depressed about the future that it is actually nice to be here with my folks. Very quiet holiday so far and here's hoping it stays that way.

So sorry about your sinus infection! Yucky.

Hang tough, everyone.

[meggie]

You're a great guy Stuck with many that care about you. Have a wonderful holiday and enjoy the love of your parents.

[meggie]

Helllo, anybody here.

[sunshinedaisies]

Meggie - I am sorry ..... I have been very quiet I know that - you have my e-mail so can always e-mail me ..... I am fine - I will post in the next day or two ......

[DizzyBee]

A happy new year to you all!
I messed up in our trip to Germany because I was too drunk. I definitely need to go on the dry for a while. I guess onwards and upwards is the way to go. :thumbsup:
:hug::hug:::hug:

[meggie]

2015 a new year. What changes will I make. Hoping everyone has a wonderful year. Let us finally become strong.

[DizzyBee]

Hi all
Well, after tapering down, I finally swallowed another AB this morning to start getting things back on track. My anxiety levels have been through the roof, so I had to taper down, but it's been ok today, at least so far. It's really cold here today so I'm snuggling inside but need to see the therapist tomorrow and hit the gym on Wednesday.
I hope you are all well?
What happened to you, Houtx?
Dx

[StuckinLA]

Happy new year to everyone! Hope it's starting off well. Sorry to hear you were under the weather in Germany, Dizzy. I, too, was pretty drunk NYE and new year's day - just kept that blackout party rolling, I guess. A friend was visiting here for the college football game that was here on Jan 1. So we went out for NYE and all 3 of us got blackout wasted, and then the next morning I started with whiskey in my coffee and so by the end of the day when we were out for the football game I was already really drunk.

I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to taper down, too. But like you the anxiety is just off the charts. I need, need, need to get some solid AF time going but I'm not motivated enough to do it, I don't think. I want to get away from everything, but by 'everything' I mean me.

Good on you for taking the AB. I hope the anxiety subsides, sweetie. Hang in there. When does everybody start school? I don't start until the 12th, but I have to go to a conference before then. Have a good one.