New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

Well - talk about a blast from the past - HI Houtx !!! I PM'd you ever such a long time ago - it should still be there if you look ... LOL. It is about Naltrexone ... anyway, nice to see you again - how are things going for you ?

Meggie - yes this site is way too quiet I agree with you. Thanks for asking after my mum - I did go to UK and was there a week - had a terrible journey getting sick on the way over but I think it was stress catching up with me .... mum came out of the hospital the Sunday before I came back so I had a couple of days with her to see how she would do on her own - set her up with a panic button and also a cleaner. She is doing very well considering she had a stroke - has not lost the use of arms or legs and is fine apart from being really tired and also very forgetful.

Meggie - did you ever get the Nal ? Did your doc ever get back to you about it? Or are you going to get some yourself ? How is the AL going these days ?

Dizzy - no worries about not e-mailing - I would not have had the time to get to you with the way things were when I was in UK - way too busy with visiting mum when she was in the hospital and then sorting her out when she got out.

The Nal really seems to be helping - my intake was constantly going down then last week went up again - but I have faith that it is going to work - it just takes time - Houtx I am hoping that you get my PM or that you come back and read this as I know you were on it too - was wondering about how it was when you were....

Got to get ready for work ..... have a good day all,

Hugs, Sun XXX

[meggie]

I also am interested in Houtx experience with Nal. No, I have not sent for it and my doctor has never gotten back to me. She is about my age and everyone loves her. She is really busy. I would like to know about side effects. My drinking is not great, had a couple hangovers. Yuck. I have been going to the gym and working out really hard. .I feel my arms are looking better but I will not lose weight if I dont' cut back on the alcohol. I switched to vodka thinking I would drink less. Nope, have started liking it. Also, eating after 9 pm, something I have never done.
Houtx, my spring break starts this Friday. I don't know what I will do. I hope it is nice so I can get outside and work. School is what it is, the students are really loud. Some days I feel they are winning. However, I have had some wins with some problem kids. Everyone needs a little love.
I also have not gone to my counselor, I did love her because she helped me look for a spiritual path. I will look to schedule next week with her.
Hope to hear from all of you because I also miss the companionship.

[StuckinLA]

Spring break went by way too fast for me, too, Houtx. Something about St. Pat's day being at the beginning of it. That really pissed off the girl, me being drunk for about 2 straight days. Anyway I sobered up late this week, then fell off last night and again today.

I turned in my dissertation on Monday, I defend it this Tuesday. It's been a rough ride, these past 7 years, these past few weeks finishing it, for me and for the girl both. For everyone around me, actually. Anyway, if all goes well by Tuesday evening I'll be a doctor. Hugs all around.

[meggie]

I know of several people that have taken that ride, good for you and prayers for Tuesday. Will you then teach in a college? Glad to see this site moving a little.

[houtx770]

Way to go, Dr. Stuck!! At least you managed to get it done. 7 years - wow! I know you're relieved and I'm sure your "defense" of it will go well tomorrow. I'll send good vibes & karma!

I managed to get thru the 1st day back...focusing now on the last stretch. I HATE my job so much it's not even funny. Meggie, you know what I'm talking about. I'm getting my stuff together (resume, best lesson & application) for a private school position a friend who works there let me in on. It's 8th grade, 4 classes vs the 8 I have now, and boys & girls are in separate classes. How cool would that be?! Private schools don't follow the same rules as public, so I'd be free to do all kinds of things. I'm excited and only a bit intimidated by something you said, Stuck...that private schools or where tuition is paid, the feeling is "we need to get what we pay for", the students/parents being paying customers, etc kinda throws me off. But I'm going for it. WTH, right?!

As for my experience with NAL - I started it in Jan '09 and almost immediately with the 50 mgs as called for in the book. It was a brand-new thing then. The Escapa book had only come out in November, I think. It was such a dark period in my life when I stumbled upon that book. Shortly thereafter, there were a handful of people going online to talk about it, a new website was born for The Sinclair Method "TSM"...and I was one of them hoping for a miracle to cure the craving for alcohol. It worked for a few, but not for me. I went thru a doctor and after months of nothing (I think the stated time of seeing any kind of change was 3 months), I upped my dose to 100 mgs. That didn't work either. I was really disappointed, to say the least. So I just titrated down and finally got off after a year. I kept up the friendships, tried Baclophen, UGH - came here after hearing about TOPA, and the rest is history. No drug has worked for me.

I'm just a functioning (and not very well lately) alkie who wishes there was some magic pill that would make me not want to drink mind-numbing beverages at the end of every day....but could still drink moderately most of the time. I love my wine and vodka and can't imagine going straight. I refuse. I just want to only have a few. Anyway, I wish you all well trying it. There was a rumor circulating that some found success after 2 yrs, but sheesh - who wants to keep taking a medication for that long with no guarantees? NAL held a lot of promise, but there were also many caveats. Like it worked for those who got nauseous on it, or for those who drank beer but not wine...probably b/c it makes carbonation taste off. I dunno. Plus the concern of it causing the extinction of other pleasurable things...that doesn't happen either, so don't worry about exercise or sex not being fun anymore! LOL It is supposed to just hit on those receptors that become engaged when you drink, as I recall. The community was really active back then...I met and still keep in touch with a handful of people. Remember "Waiting to Exhale" - she's still a friend I keep up with from there and here. Anyway, go for it & I'll be interested to hear how it goes. Maybe I'll get back on it and go for a long term if it looks promising again.

I better post this before I lose it! Lots to catch up on - Meggie enjoy your break! Sunny, where are you working these days and no, I never got the PM. DZ glad to hear you're still here and alls pretty well. Good luck again, Stuck -

XO

[meggie]

Stuck, prayers coming your way. You seem like such a nice young man. Maybe you will be able to stop all your drugs when you get your doctorate.
Houtx, I think the private school sounds fun. I need to find another job when I retire. Texas has a state retirement doesn't it. How many years do you have? . I will have 30 plus years this year. We go until June 26 th. It will be a long time from April 6th to the 26th of June.
I am so unsure about ordering medication on line. Houtx, did you have any side effects?
Well, need to get ready for the little ones. Have a wonderful day all.
Go get them Stuck.

[sunshinedaisies]

CONGRATULATIONS Stuck !!!! I am so happy for you in that you are finally there after many years of hard work!! Good for you .... what will your next move be do you think? Are things going well with The Girl ?

Hi there Meggie - I have never actually ordered drugs on line but many others have - I eventually got my Nal from a doctor and the Antabuse I shared with a friend ... Nal is expensive though hence me deciding I would get it from my doctor.

Houtx - thanks for explaining the Nal to us - I was interested to hear your side of it. As for it maybe taking 2 years - if it works, I am fine with that - after all, I would still be in the same position in two years if I wasn't taking it so at least by taking it I am hoping it will work - my intake has halved so far and it definitely stops the buzz for me with AL - not noticed it with anything else though and yes I did have some nausea at first - although if I take it on a full tummy I do not get that. I do post on the TSM site and only a couple of people that still post there are 'cured' - but who knows how many were cured and do not post any more ? I shall plod on with it and have faith....

I still work at the same place Houtx - but cut my hours and just go in part time now which I really enjoy.

I do remember Waiting to Exhale - unfortunately I upset her and she doesn't speak to me anymore !! I hope that she is doing well though - do you know if she is having any luck with stopping AL ?

Oh Houtx - I say Go For It re the job - surely nothing can be worse than where you are now ? I hope you get it .... fingers crossed.

Meggie - what do you think you might do when you retire? Do you have anything in mind ? How is your intake with Al doing ?

Got to go - hugs to all, lovely to see the thread moving again,

Hugs, Sun XXX

[houtx770]

Hi all -
Will be interested to hear how your defense went, Stuck. Love that terminology, but think it sucks as well...as if 7 yrs of work needed "defending" except to explain your thinking, the process of writing it, etc. So if we don;t hear from you, we'll assume you're celebrating, as you should! LOL

Meggie I though this was your week off. Hope you just relax and enjoy. I stayed in Houston, played 5 rounds of golf, went out with that guy I talked about way last fall several times. He's one who went to my friend's wedding w/ me at the last minute after the summer romance guy dumped me in a text message!! LOL - anyone remember that story?? I will refer to him as my "Hot Irishman" LOL...soon to be "HI". gawd, I'm so lame. I'll go into detail about his lame ass another time, but basically he's still in the picture, altho very blurry. He operates on his own independent terms and that exasperate me sometimes, but whatever. Forking my eyes to his, we see eye to eye on many levels. It's aw good -

Sunny, glad you're still hanging in with the job. Fewer hours and enjoying it more, I would think. Odd turn about you & WTE. Sorry about that - I hadn't heard anything about it from her. No clue what might have happened.

Anyway, thankfully the weather has cleared and this spring has sprung. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook. Coming here has
done that again. I've found "my way in" lol - this site change just really threw me! I kept hitting walls trying to sign in somewhere back in November. Then the holidays got in the way, etcetetcetc. I'm glad to have my online compadres again! I'll keep you posted on the job prospects.

I can retire right now w/ full benefits, but it would still be about a third less than what I make now, and that's huge. Plus concerns about the TX Health Care plan not having enough funds to cover insurance...which I need & carry my daughter on. Anyway, take care & talk soon!

XO

[StuckinLA]

Thanks for all your words of encouragement on this thread, ladies. I'm now Dr. Stuck.

[treetops]

Congratulations Stuck - thats really great. You must be so relieved.
Its a Very different doctoral examining process to what we do here.

Excuse me for butting into the thread but I wanted to pass on my yahoos!
The hard work starts now!

[houtx770]

CONGRATULATIONS, DR. STUCK!! So happy for you! The best is yet to be!! I know you're feeling pretty damn good right now, as you should be. Cheers to you & all that you stand for! I wish I could buy a round for the club :-))

So another little note on the taking of NAL: I was thinking a lot about that year when I was taking it, after talking about it here. I kept a journal that is packed away around here somewhere, but I had some weird dreams the last couple of nights. Waking up several times, got up to pee, drifted back to sleep only to more weird dreams. It suddenly reminded me that one of the SEs of NAL is nightmares!! Not the horrible, terrible, OMG, wake-up in a cold sweat, screaming like in the movies kind...but some pretty intense "OMG what the hell was that?!!" kind. I can usually remember bits & pieces of dreams after I wake up, if I dream at all (depends on how heavy my consumption, of course! ugh)

Since it acts on the brain, it interacts with whatever subliminal sleep waves are going on. I don't know how to describe it, but it is mentioned as a SE in the book. (Yes, Call me Dr. Houtx-scientologist!!) Anyway, on NAL I'll never forget one particular "nightmare" I had that was stupidly, comically scary. I'll never forget it b/c of how cray cray it was!! Basically a huge alligator or crocodile with a Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer nose kept stalking me!! Seriously. That's it. And it went on forever! Scary as hell. Peter Pan meets Rudolf. I don't know but that was one of many and I woke up thinking "WTF?! I hate this shit!"

LOL!! Just thought I'd share that. Hope alls well w/ everyone

XO

[sunshinedaisies]

Congratulations Dr Stuck !! Now - what is the next move then ?

Houtx - I do not have bad dreams with the Nal, but I have not been sleeping well - I wondered if it could be the Nal, but I will put up with it if it means I can get out of this hell hole I am in with AL. Your nightmares sounded awful - maybe if ever you tried it again, start with a half dose and really slowly go up and see if that would make any difference ? I just know this is going to work and I am fine with how long it takes - it can take up to two years but if I do not do it then things will never change - at least this way I know they will eventually ! My intake has definitely gone down since I started taking it and I do feel differently about AL - so I am going to hang in there. Although ironically enough I have not felt well since Tuesday - and have not even wanted a drink !! And so have not taken any Nal - and am still sleeping badly, so on reflection, it isn't the Nal!

Have you done anything about that job ? I wish you well with it and hope that it all works out for you. I know how much you hate your job and totally understand.

Hi there Meggie and anyone else - hope everyone has a great day,

hugs, Sun xx

[meggie]

Oh, wow, I am so excited for you doctor. It must be such a relief for you. Sounds like all of us want to make dramatic changes to our lives. I will retire at 60 percent o what I make. My area of the state pays teachers the poorest in the state so my pension is not real great and my husband is on disability. So I don't know what I will do when I retire, maybe sell real estate.
Houtx, I remember your last summer romances, I live through your life. I esp remember the ass that dropped you. You were really enamored with him, and the other guy beats to his own drummer. So keep us informed, I need a life.

[houtx770]

HAHA, Meggie - you're funny! Yeah - these men are all assholes really. The hot Irishman (HI) sort-of resurfaces whenever. We go hot & cold...right now cold & I am annoyed. He texts me "Save me a blow job"...and I'm like "WaaaaaaaTF??" Like I have an account of BJs?? I seriously don't know. I just ignore that shit -

We've been seeing each other for a year now...gone thru several "situations"...he's still not what I would consider a "boyfriend" and that irritates me. Whatever - the sex is great, he entertains me, and I am happy on my own. I do love attention, I remember and wish for LOVE again, but who knows...I know this sounds incredibly flakey and it is. Getting dumped last summer really killed me - for HI to come back into the picture...I'm good with what is now.

Thats all - nite! XO

[meggie]

Good for you, keep us informed about the new job. New York is in so much turmoil, our Governor wasn't supported by the teacher's union so now he is tying teacher evaluations to funding. I am lucky I can leave but I worry about the young ones. If they can be fired because of 2 years of low score it will only lead to cheating and teaching to a test. I am watching a job I love change horribly.