New here and starting Topa and with a question

[meggie]

Holding down the rains in the classroom. I went to a teacher's retirement thing yesterday. I wanted to walk out because the first speaker was talking about long term care and if you didn't have it you could lose everything. Then went on to tell you all you could lose. Seems unfair, I have a sick husband and they put the fear of God in you. Oh, well, everyone be good. 8 days left.

[meggie]

Well, I am holding down the rains and it has been real rainy, I meant to say holding down the reins. One more day this week with the kiddos. Waiting to hear if my daughter got a teaching job. She wants a job so badly but it not the profession to be in now.

[houtx770]

Hey Meggie - YAY summer! I'm happy for you to be out! I'm teaching summer school, but at a former elementary school I taught in 20 yrs ago. It's a nice relief from the older kids. Things here are much the same. Too much damn rain, as well. Tropical storm Bill last week was a non-event. No news on the men-front but I'm fine.

Stuck, hope things for you on the job front turn around & that the girl thing works itself out. DZ, hope so too for you! Hi Sunny! Hope we all have some brightness in the mix soon.
XO

[meggie]

Not out yet, I will be on Friday. Now we are doing things like field days and other stuff. The kids are wild, fighting etc. I am so out of the teaching thing. So many things going on in teaching and the district that make me so sad.
Hope everyone is well.

[DizzyBee]

Hey everyone

I'm just taking care of some errands as I'm starting a temp job tomorrow. Even though its only a week long and admin, it is still something.
My not drinking in the week makes me very anxious and last weekend I had a blackout, so something's gotta give. At least the job will keep me from day drinking, so I guess there's always something to be thankful for.

Good luck at finding a job Stuck, I think we're doing a bit of the same routine drinking wise, although I must say that my anxiety is getting worse.

Try and enjoy summer school Houtx and enjoy summer Meggie!

Hugs for everyone,
Dx

[meggie]

I have never drank during the day, but I have been drinking too much during the night, or drinking too fast. What was the black out about.

[DizzyBee]

I dunno, sometimes I don't know my limits when anxious. I wish I can ensure it never happens again.

[StuckinLA]

Dizzy - so sorry about your anxiety! That is the worst. Please try to hang in there.

Nothing new going on here. The girl's mom left this morning, so I have the place to myself finally, until she gets home from work. Just kind of hanging out, mostly, doing a few chores. Have to plan my class for this Saturday so time to start freaking out about that soon.

[meggie]

I understand the drinking too much. Stuck, you had the girl's mother there. How did that go? Is your first class Saturday? Better get to planning.

[houtx770]

Hi all -
I'm sorry about the anxiety...I wonder how horrible that must be on a daily basis. I have been having these feelings of BAD horribleness about to happen & can't quite put my finger on it. Is that anxiety?? UGH - I don't understand!! Have just sort-of put them aside and ignored...but they never go away. UGH - wine helps tonight. Is that what we're talking about??

[DizzyBee]

Hi

Yes, I think that drinking too much can actually cause anxiety. Of course, it also takes it away, so its a bit of a boomerang. I also feel like something awful is going to happen and lately I've even develop a small tremor in my hands and my heart beats really fast. It could be to do with a new pill I'm taking to help for the anxiety - it really helps at night but it almost feels like it withdraws in the morning, leaving me feeling anxious again.

How was the girl's mom's visit, Stuck? I hope you guys get along. Also, how did your class go?

We're going to Bruges for the weekend to celebrate our second anniversary. Its just for a weekend but its in a really nice hotel, so I'm hoping we can kind of rekindle things, we've been getting along better lately but we haven't really been sleeping in the same room.

What's everyone else up to - anyone have any Summer plans or are all of you still working?

I just finished a week long temping stint at a lawn care company, its amazing to see how many rich people with 1000's of square metre gardens there still are in the affluent neighbourhoods.

Take care & hugs,
Dx

[StuckinLA]

Hi everyone. I've been quiet the last few days - not much to report. The visit went ok but her mom was super quiet. No conversation, she didn't ask any questions or anything. I don't know if that's normal for her or what. Fine by me since I wasn't very comfortable having her around. I did get drunk all weekend while they were in San Francisco and was passed out when they got home late on Father's Day. The girl was super pissed about that, but I haven't had a drink since.

Class is all right but by the end of the day I am spent. I get real bad anxiety every time in the last class session of the day and I don't know why. Maybe just from talking in front of a room of people all day? Whatever. Only 3 more weekends to go. Still no news on the job front, or at least no good news. A couple where I did not make the interview stage. Still 8 or 9 applications out but I'm not very hopeful. Trying to get as much writing done as I can but it doesn't feel like very much or enough by far.

Hope everyone is doing all right.

[meggie]

I remember Diz when you got married. I can't believe that it has been two years. If I remember right didn't you go and get married and not tell anyone?. I hope you have a great weekend. Are you two fighting because of your drinking, jobs etc.
I have a reunion next weekend, don't know if I am looking forward to it or not. But now that I am out of school, only been a week, I am bored .I am concentrating on losing weight this summer. I have never weighed this much. I know if I stop or cut down I will lose weight.

[sunshinedaisies]

Hi everyone - thought I ought to pop in and see what is going on and see how everyone is. Sorry about the drinking - pretty much all of you - know how that goes! Also - wonder why you are having anxiety issues Stuck and Dizzy? Stuck - when you have not been drinking in the past, did you have the feelings then or is this a new thing for you ? I really hope that a job turns up for you soon.....

Dizzy - enjoy your trip to Bruges. I used to love popping over to Europe when I lived in UK - it all seems such a distant memory now. I hope that it helps your two's relationship - that must be hard if things are not going well.

Meggie I did laugh at you being bored already and only been out of school a week! Maybe you can plan some house decorating or something ? We have moved and I am trying to paint, do the garden, sew curtains .... busy!

The Nal is definitely helping - in the last 6 days I have only drank one of them - being AF is easier than it was - I do still take some AB though - I split a tab into as many pieces as I can - I think I get maybe 12-16 pieces - LOL and then take a piece each morning - even though it is such a minute amount, I will not drink if I have taken it ! It is odd that the Nal makes one feel differently about AL and I definitely do not get the same pleasure that I used to get drinking these days - hence it being easier to not drink! I will probably take the Nal today though and have a couple later today!

Have a great 4th, those of you who celebrate it !! :happy2:

Hugs to you all, Sun xx

[meggie]

I need to find a doctor that will scribe it for me. What was the name of that on-line company. I think I drink out of boredom. I hope you are happy with your new home. Why again did you move?