New here and starting Topa and with a question

[sunshinedaisies]

Hi Wu - long time no see ! Sorry to hear that things are not good with you though .....

Yes as Meggie told you, I am on Naltrexone - I post on TSM site where we are all taking Nal and support each other. There is a book by Dr Roy Eskapa called The Cure For Alcoholism which you really need to read if you plan on taking Nal - I cannot stress that enough as that way you understand the logistics of the Nal! I am not cured yet - some folk take up to 2 years - the Topa I had to get up to 300 mg before it worked with me so it looks as if the Nal is taking it's time too - but I am in it for the long haul and will not give up. I just need to have faith and be patient - I didn't get to this point overnight and it is not going to be fixed overnight. The thing is with Nal is that once you are 'cured' then you CAN drink moderately - IF you want to - but you ALWAYS have the take the Nal before you drink - ALWAYS ! Really important ! My intake is about half of what it was pre Nal and I have 2-3 AF days a week most weeks - not all, but most. They are easier than they were pre Nal too.....

Anyway sorry to see you back - I mean it is good to see you but sorry that it is under the circumstances that it is under .....,

Hugs, Sun xx

[meggie]

Thanks, sun, you always word things nicely. Sat and Sunday night I drank hardly nothing, l think I was doing this because I drank so much on Friday. I, like Sun am hoping this will work. I did quit for a year on topa and it worked at 75 ml for me.

[wu1969]

Hi sun and Meggie, I'm doing a bit better. . I'm thinking of trying tsm but still reading up on it. I'm about to buy the book, but still reading the free stuff on the website. Im trying as best I can to abstain. It's getting better. I'm just teetering down from what was two bottles of wine a day. I do feel as though I can understand the nal over though, it's how I feel in the mornings, gosh that must be horrible. I'm so glad you are seeing success with the nal, it seems to be a good one, I just need to do more reading. It seems as though I'm the real alki here as it got so bad that I was drinking in the mornings. Today I abstained until 4 in the afternoon, which was good. Now I'm drinking wine but at a half water half wine ratio and just enough to try and keep the shakes away. I did read that alcohol creates new pathways in the brain that nal can block. It's such a pity that ab didn't work on me, but then again I ordered it. I did feel some redness, a heightened blood pressure but it wasn't horrible, so I could drink over it and still function. I have found that vitamin water helps and have been drinking naked green and naked berries. i can't wait to get my suplements and start that again, as it really helped last time. I read back about a hundred pages, and am hoping everyone is doing well. Love and hugs.....wu

[meggie]

You have really cut down on your wine. I wish I could drink wine. I used to and loved it . I bought the cheap stuff by the box. Now I am drinking gin, I started vodka thinking if I didn't like it I would drink less. Didn't work I llike vodka better. I didn' do very well last night. If you get on the TSM site ask badger to send you the book. He sent it to me but I don't know how to send it to you. I remember the kudzu and other suppliments helped me.
I drink at night, I start at 7 and go to bed by 930. But I can fit several drinks in by that time. I am trying to make my start time later. I would never try the AB, my doctor said it makes you very sick and could kill you. I am going to hope this new journey works for me. Good luck and keep in touch.

[wu1969]

Hi sun and Meggie, I'm doing a bit better. . I'm thinking of trying tsm but still reading up on it. I'm about to buy the book, but still reading the free stuff on the website. Im trying as best I can to abstain. It's getting better. I'm just teetering down from what was two bottles of wine a day. I do feel as though I can understand the nal over though, it's how I feel in the mornings, gosh that must be horrible. I'm so glad you are seeing success with the nal, it seems to be a good one, I just need to do more reading. It seems as though I'm the real alki here as it got so bad that I was drinking in the mornings. Today I abstained until 4 in the afternoon, which was good. Now I'm drinking wine but at a half water half wine ratio and just enough to try and keep the shakes away. I did read that alcohol creates new pathways in the brain that nal can block. It's such a pity that ab didn't work on me, but then again I ordered it. I did feel some redness, a heightened blood pressure but it wasn't horrible, so I could drink over it and still function. I have found that vitamin water helps and have been drinking naked green and naked berries. i can't wait to get my suplements and start that again, as it really helped last time. I read back about a hundred pages, and am hoping everyone is doing well. Love and hugs.....wu

[wu1969]

Today I caved and had a little bit of wine at noon. Very little and retrieved with some vitamin water. I hope that it lasts at least until 6. It's almost 2 now. Meg, here in the states I drink boxed wine too, and I think it's worse for me than when I have bottles that I can measure better. I have a ton of harder alcohol in the house but thankfully I never touch it. If I drank only for two and a half hours a day, that would be so wonderful! I do like gin but know all too well that that's how I started drinking in the mornings. Just one to help with the hangover. The the second etc..... And boom, I never wanted to leave the house. Ironically, just a month ago I visited my father and was able to wait until 7 in the evening for I glass of wine and then two more glasses after 10. Maybe I need to go into treatment by living with my dad. Lol. (I am 46). I think it's great that you do have good days and I am inspired by your posts that it will get better. Sun it's so good to know that you are having success with nal. I'm really hoping to cut down to evenings having a few glasses though before trying nal as I'm scared that I would have to take it all day. Thanks for the tip to get the book from badger as I'd really love to get this stupid monster off my back. How wonderful it would be to wake up in the mornings with the energy I used to have. In the beginning I only drank a glass or two of wine twice a week, now I'm trying to taper down to not shake. Uugghh.......

[StuckinLA]

Well the rest of the meds threads is a total shitshow right now. Not sure why I'm bothering to read any of it or even to post. But I see Wu is back. Sorry you're still kind of fighting the booze. The morning drinking is the worst - I'm no good at it at all. Just one for the hangover turns into a 1/2 bottle before noon. Drinking vodka for me is like just giving up on life.

Anyway hope everyone is hanging in there. I am 9 days AF today - last week was the longest withdrawal I've ever been through. It lasted a whole week and it sucked. But I've got classes starting next week and I need to drive a serious commute 3 days a week, and early in the morning too. So I need to really buckle down and try my damndest to stay AF probably through December. Or at least as close to AF as I can manage.

Good to see everyone. Take care.

[meggie]

Stuck and Wu, glad to see you. Things are really slow. I have spent much time on the Nal site but that is also slow.
Stuck, a week of of not drinking, I can't do that, or can't know. How do the withdrawls feel like. I hope you and the girl are getting along fine and you have found a job. Always in my lthoughts stuck.

[StuckinLA]

The withdrawal is a motherf**ker. It feels like being dizzy and lightheaded but worse, like just off somehow and like I'm going to maybe pass out, I'm off balance and all my muscles feel weak. Like so weak I can't stand up, and the anxiety is so bad it's like being in a very long tunnel with no way out. Then the shaking. Off and on through the day I'll start shaking so bad I can't write or use a fork to eat. Trying to sleep is the worst, just impossible. It lasted a whole week this time.

But I have found a job and for the next few months I'm going to be OK financially - I should even be able to pay off my credit cards almost. That's one of the reasons I am very committed to staying dry right now. I have to commute early in the mornings and do a lot of driving, so I can't be drunk or in withdrawal, and then of course there's all the work itself. I have many, many students. So class planning and grading and also other things that need to be done.

Oh the irony! Now that I will have the money, and no one looking over my shoulder checking the level of my bottles at home, I simply don't have the time to drink!

[meggie]

You have been able to stop cold for a long time. I am proud of you. I assume by nobody looking over your shoulder you mean that the girl is gone. I wish for you the best .You are young and have your future ahead of you. God works in mysterious ways, maybe the long drive was meant to be. So how long have you been sober? And are you teaching college students?

[StuckinLA]

Sober almost 2 weeks. The girl is still here, for now, because she hasn't been able to find a place of her own. Not sure if she is still looking or not. And yes, teaching college students. Freshmen, mostly.

[Spiritfree]

Hi all. I am back. My drinking has gotten better...but sadly lately has escalated. I wake up in the mornings with shaking, feeling nervous and anxious. Now my thought is to get this issue under control. Sigh......many people in my family are alcoholics, or recovering as they say in aa. I just spent some time with them, and though many of them don't drink anymore, it's like they have replaced it with morphine, OxyContin, and other unknown pills. That's just not a road I want to be on. So here I am again, waiting to exhale. I have to stop, but the shakes aren't fun......I guess I need to find the right med so I can taper down. It even got so bad a couple of years ago that I took Antabuse, but it didn't work on me, I could still drink. In Switzerland where I lived I noticed that treatment doesn't work at all. So I didn't go. Uugghh! Ok....enough bla bla, I'm off to read this thread, buy my supplements and hopefully find a med that I'd like to try. Btw it's nice to be back. Thanks for listening, and any advice is well appreciated. Hugs!

Hi Wu and Others -as many of you know, I get bombarded with hate posts and other similar posts when I even come close to mentioning alcohol abstinence. Here is the real deal and most of you already know this; to finally quit drinking, one must quit drinking. It is usually quite painful in the beginning but you will soon be overcome with the joys of living an alcohol free life. Now, having said this, the next real problems occur when relapse cues happen and then send each us of back to the drinking drawing board. Scientist and doctors are currently working on medications that will resolve this problem -subliminal cues that lead back to drinking.

Please understand this opinion that I try to express and get much criticism for: If you are truly not at a point that you HAVE to quit drinking, then by all means continue on programs that help you to moderate or reduce harm to yourself. When you finally end up at a point that you have to quit drinking (or die, or become incarcerated, or go to a mental institution), certain medications such as Baclofen and/or Gabapentin become true options to help you.

There is just NO easy answer to quitting alcohol if you are an addict. My final experience with quitting alcohol (2.5 years ago) came when I almost died as a result of alcohol addiction. Most die hard alcoholics will not accept this theory until they experience it themselves. It does not have to be this way, but unfortunately, that is just the way that is in most cases.

WU69 -I hope that you seek medical treatment for the physical withdrawal effects that you are having when you try to quit. Two or three days of supervised withdrawal will help you to safely eliminate alcohol from you physical system. I am grateful to read that you are continuing to try like hell to rid yourself of the beast.

[meggie]

Spirit you have quit for 2.5 years, I am so proud of yo u. Do you use any programs, AAA or did you use rehab? I am trying the Nal program, I don't know if it will work, but I will see. I do agree, the best way to do it is to just quit. I drink hard stuff and know that it is not good for me. I do have my liver and kidneys checked also. But I also know that there are other things that can happen to me. I drink in the evenings and never drive.
Stuck, I hope you and the girl can make things work, she sounded like she was good for you. You appear to be on the right track, not drinking and working. What do you teach?

[houtx770]

Hey all - it's been awhile since I've posted. No excuse...missed you guys & will update soon. Right now I'm a bit tipsy...soooooo no posting for now...but have enjoyed reading the posts from the last month or so...more later

[meggie]

Houtx, can't wait to hear your stories.