Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

[Full English]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Thanks Neva Eva. Good luck to you too.
Thanks Seethepony. It is funny, Ig suggested the same thing. Have a drink and see where it takes you. I don't think it is a wrong thing to suggest. As I said to Ig, I don't have the guts to try it. I was 2.5 years sober and I tried that before, and then I ended up drinking another 2.8 years. So I am wiling to put up with with the odd pang or cravings, rather than drink at the moment. I hope that lasts. Good to hear the SE's aren't so bad for you Seethepony.
I like Mogler's quote and also the line 'Things can only get better'. I am sure they will. Thanks for your support.
I am down to 170MG today, I got to 5pm and realised I was out of pills for the day and had already taken my 17 pills. I am so used to getting close to the end of the day and thinking - God, I still have 4-5 more pills to take.
Felt a lot less BACed out today - so things are already starting to get better.
I keep testing myself. I walked past pubs this evening and saw people drinking and thought, nah I don't feel envious, it's just that I'm not that interested in having a drink.
Wish everyone well on their BAC journeys.
Full English

[Sunnyvalenting]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

I think it would not make sense to try drinking as exposure to the substance is one of the most likely causes of relapse in people and rats. We already know we are capable of alcohol abuse and addiction. What we need to do is "stay the course" and continue our abstinence. If we can do that with the minimum of side effects so much the better. But no side effect I have read of here yet seems worth what I just lived through daily toward the end when I drank.
Good luck to all
Sunny AF since jan 13,2010 thanks to Bac

[Full English]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Thanks Sunny. I agree, it's not worth testing the switch with a drink - not for me anyway.
Over 5 weeks sober now. I feel pretty good. I have my moments, but overall the full-on BAC-ed out feelings have gone. I am now down to 150MG a day. Most cravings are still gone. Still had the odd twinge, but most of the time I am grateful that I feel free of Al cravings a majority of the time.
Christmas was a mixture of feelings for me. Part of me was grateful for the sobriety, but occasionally I could feel the sadness sneak in. So I was a bit of a roller-coaster of emotions.
Some of the SE's are lessening. Insomnia is not nearly as bad. I am still not back to my normal sleeping patterns, but at least I am not doing my 1 hour a night trick I was doing about a month back. Still have the ringing in the ears, still have the big tummy (hope that will shift as I come down), still find myself impatient. Face sag has gone. Black lines under the eyes nearly gone. Hair has thinned a bit.
I like looking at myself in the mirror and like liking myself more and giving myself a wee smile. It feels good.
Looking forward to a restful week this week.
I wish everyone well on their BAC journeys.
Full English.

[Full English]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Today marks 2 months of being sober using BAC.
Thank you OA, BAC and MWO.
I started BAC 17/4/10 - got to 50MG. Stopped 28th May due to SE's.
2nd try of BAC started 6/9/10. Reached my switch at 210MG on 8/12/10. I weigh 68KG.
Have been Al Free since 19th November 2010.
I am now on 80MG a day. It is fantastic that I have been able to be sober for this long.
Some mild cravings sometimes, but not anything that I haven?t been able to handle.
It has not all been plane sailing. I have been experiencing some depression, but I am noticing this cloud has been lifting a bit as I titrate down.
Still at a loss to work out what to do now I am Al free. It is funny when I was Al free before and went to AA, I filled my time going to meetings and talking about Alcohol. Now I am ?cured? (or I?d prefer to say ?mended?) thanks to BAC, I have a lot of holes to fill. I used to fill these holes with lots of thoughts, methods and lots of determination just to stay sober. I don?t need to do this now.
When I relapsed, I spent 2.8 years battling to become sober. Now I am here and sober, this battle (which took up 80% of my thought processes) has gone too. So this obsession with Alcohol and all the mind battles that went with it, are gone, and I don?t need them now to remain sober thanks to BAC.
So while I see my sobriety through BAC as a miracle (it is ?cause it is not like being sober through will power, no more ?one day at a time? etc), I am in a very weird space where I have a lot of time to fill ? physically and mentally. I have lost so many friends along the way and isolated myself so much (to make drinking easier) that I realise now there are not many people now left in my life, and not a lot of substance in what I have been occupying myself with.
I have been finding this loneliness and emptiness very difficult. I have been having lots of remorse about the decisions I made to make my drinking life easier.
In the last week or so, what had been my silver lining has been the fact less MG?s of BAC I think helps with the depression. I have also been thinking that I am in my 40?s, and still have the chance to turn things around. So I think the optimism helps.
So that is where I am at 2 months in.
To everyone trying BAC or thinking of trying it ? it is worth it. If this sad old Alhie can do it, anyone can. It is worth the side-effects and the truths (sometimes painful) that it exposes.
I wish all well on their journeys.
Full English

[gratitude]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

unbelievable full english. congrats to you.
you post reminds me of a line in Shawshank Redemption. " get busy livin' or get busy dying". my favorite flick. a metaphor for alcoholics I think.
I think you are well on your way towards getting busy livin'.:goodjob:

[beatle]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Congratulations!

And thank you so much for posting that, Full!

(I don't know what "full" means in British English, but it means "drunk" in Norwegian... so maybe it's time to change your name???)

gratitude: Shawshank is also one of my favourite films of all time.

[ignominious]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Great to here where you're at Full. Thanks for putting it out here.

[bleep69]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Great story Full, thank you for posting. Well done.

[Full English]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Thank you Gratitude, Beatle, Ig and Bleep for the support.
'Full English' is actually a abbreviation for 'Full English Breakfast'. Quite often in the UK, you will see on a menu just 'Full English'. The traditional English Breakfast is so bad for you - it is saturated fat overload - but some mornings there is nothing better than a Full English. Especially if you are hung over.
I like the quote from Shawshank Gratitude, thanks. I too really like this film.
FE

[Bruunhilde]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Excellent accomplishment FE, I'm so happy for you! I imagine I'll have that problem too, the too much time to fill/lack of people to fill it with. I want that problem, but I anticipate that having it would make sobriety difficult. AL is an escape from all sorts of things, including boredom.

How about taking a class?

[Full English]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

I have been away. It is great to see posted more success stories with BAC.
Just to clock in - I hit 3 months sober thanks to BAC while I was away. I am now on 40MG a day. Still so grateful.
It is amazing that smaller doses of BAC still work titrating down, where-as they didn't work on the way up.
Sobriety is a good friend. I have been so happy not to be drinking with recent difficult episodes with my family. I did a recent long visit home - and although there was laughter, shouting and tears, I really felt I was finally there for them after all these years. It was quite a moving experience for me.
Lower doses of BAC seem to be working. I am sleeping a bit better, I feel more positive and the cloud of depression has lifted more.
One other thing I have noticed is that other times of sobriety without BAC, I usually have a lot of mind chatter going on. I used to harbour resentments by the hour, and play out battles and arguments in my head. With BAC, I am so chilled. Things that usually set resentments off, just wash over me. Even a couple of things that I have lost sleep over for years don?t seem to phase me. I am not playing out mental battles. It is so Zen-like - I love it.
Bruun, thanks for you suggestion of doing a class here. I have been looking into picking one up.
FE

[bleep]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

FE, that's great to hear. It's nice to see a report where a low maintenance dose is being successfully applied. There is a bit of controversy surrounding this point at the moment, so that's great news.

Nice one FE.

[Isolde]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

Wow FE, you're doing really well on just 40mgs, that is awesome!! It sounds like this lower dose has nothing but good things for you, and it's great to hear! :goodjob:

[ignominious]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

I went AF 2 days after you and am heartened by your progress, even if a little envious! I admire your fortitude and optimism and shall myself make a more concerted effort to see the glass half full in the future.

I tapered to 80 but then went back to 120 as I was feeling too vulnerable. I've been at this level for about one month.

The mind chatter and resentments are constantly with me. I can see how futile and destructive they are so can stop them before I play out the battles but the slightest reminder will set them off again. That I recognise them and can decide to stop them is some progress.

Since going back to 120 I have had a return to some extent of some SEs. Some insomnia, some somnolescence, forgetfulness, buzzy feeling as the bac kicks in. I am now convinced that SEs are far more prominent when I am feeling uneasy about something. Things can be going fine, no SEs and then, something, family argument for instance - minutes later my head feels like a football with pins and needles.

Good for you FE, I'll get there in the end.

[Bruunhilde]

Baclofen Again - Full English's Thread 2nd Time Round

ignominious;1064805 wrote:
The mind chatter and resentments are constantly with me. I can see how futile and destructive they are so can stop them before I play out the battles but the slightest reminder will set them off again. That I recognise them and can decide to stop them is some progress.

Ooooooooh, this is me to a T.