My baclofen update

[Anna B]

Hi,

I haven't posted on these boards in awhile but I've relied on them for quite some time. I just wanted to share the success that I've had with baclofen.

I started taking it last July '09. Had a lot of success with it but was never AF for a stretch. Also had side effects--mainly extreme tiredness and nausea. I stuck with bac throughout the fall and then had a terribly stressful winter, spring and summer. During that time, I titrated down to a pretty low dose--sometimes as little as 10-20 mg/day or even none. This is going to sound crazy (but we all do crazy things when we're drinking and stressed, right?)...but the reason I titrated down to almost nothing was because I WANTED to keep drinking. In a crazy way, bac took away my physical cravings to drink but I still had a psychological void to fill. It was really self-destructive and stupid.

So as I went lower and lower on bac, I drank more and more and more. And, of course, my life became worse and worse and worse. I won't bore you with the stories, but I ended up in the hospital a few times (both are long stories). Finally, I ended up checking myself into detox for 5 days--which was miserable but worth it b/c I completely re-set my head, if that makes any sense. When I got out in late July, I titrated up on bac extremely fast--had some bad side effects but, since I wasn't drinking AT ALL, the SEs weren't that bad and they quickly went away.

Fast forward to today. I've been completely AF for over 2.5 months. That may not sound like much, but it is a miracle for me. I've been trying to cut back and/or quit drinking for years. I was one of those alcoholics who drank throughout the day and was just generally a mess without booze. Since July, I've been taking ~100 mg of bac/day. I also go to the occasional AA meeting and I now take lexapro. My life is completely different--I'm able to work again, my marriage is no longer falling apart, I've lost 15 pounds, my friendships have improved, and I'm HAPPY for the first time in a long time!

So, for me, baclofen on its own wasn't enough--it's really taken me being in the mindset of truly wanting to stop drinking. I know a lot of people are able to mod on baclofen. I used to sort of be one of those people who thought I could do that. But I learned about myself that I needed to be the kind of person that just didn't drink AT ALL on bac. That seemed to be the key for me--as I stayed sober longer and longer I started appreciating all of the huge benefits that sobriety was bringing me and this helped. Baclofen was key--I don't plan on titrating down any time soon. I really think I learned my lesson!!

--Anna

[muchthought]

My baclofen update

Anna - Thank you for coming back and posting. I'm so glad to hear your story!! It is so encouraging. I hope your life just gets better and better by being sober.

The mindset is so important, I hear so many people say. When I am just looking for the magic silver bullet. I'm just going to set my mind, I guess.

[tiptronic_ct]

My baclofen update

Great post, Anna & huge congratulations on the success you've had.

And I'm very happy that you've made it clear that baclofen is just part of the picture for most of us.

[ignominous]

My baclofen update

Really encouraging to hear that Anna.

Thanks.

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

My baclofen update

Anna, thanks so much for your post. Congratulations! I loved reading not only that you're AF, but that you are happy. That's wonderful.

[Seethepony]

My baclofen update

Hey, great news that you've sorted out your drinking -- and if you were ending up in hospital as a result of it, it must have been a reeeaaaallllly nasty habit! (Actually, I like long stories -- what happened?!)

I know what you mean about dosing down -- I found myself running out of baclofen after a few weeks and reduced my daily intake to spread out the remaining supply. Started drinking a little bit - then accidentally-on-purpose forgot to take Baclofen for a day or two just so I could treat my brain to a full dose of yummy german beer....

Oh, the hangover...

Ever since then I have managed to stick to the baclofen schedule and I haven't had a drop in 10 days, which is for me a record, too! But two and half months, wow, that's impressive. Keep it up!

[Anna B]

My baclofen update

Thanks everyone for the encouragement!!

Yeah, baclofen has been absolutely amazing for me but it definitely required a few "tries" for me and a lot of other changes.

Seethepony--re: the stories between being in the hospital twice. One time I was making dinner while drunk and I accidentally sliced into my hand with a knife. Was painful and super complicated for the ER docs to stitch up b/c of the way I cut into my hand. Gross, eh?
The other time I went into the hospital was b/c my husband had enough and thought my depression, anxiety and alcoholism were out of control. He convinced me that if I went to the psych ward, they would put me on "better medications." Uh, they didn't and it was a waste of time and dehumanizing to boot.
THe night before I checked myself into detox, I fell really badly b/c I was so drunk I could barely walk. I ended up getting an infection on my leg as a result of the fall and now I'll probably have permanent scarring on my leg.

I'm REALLY not trying to gross anyone out. But you asked!! And it kind of reminds me of where I was just a few months ago. It really does scare the crap out of me and makes me wonder how much worse things could have gotten--or could get if I start drinking again....

-Anna

[Light Of Daz]

My baclofen update

Hi Anna,

Wow, thanks for posting. I have a sort-of similar experience right now which I'm still in the middle of. Short of it is, I was able to moderate a couple of times without issue, then had a couple of horrible experiences. I'm sure it was because I drank my "normal" amount, but since I have long periods between drinking now, my system couldn't handle it and I got horribly sick, and the next day or two really sucked. It reminded me where I DO NOT want to go, so I'm titrating up to 230mg (my 3.6 mg/kg level), then going to come back down to about 90mg, where I really think is where I had hit my initial switch.

I also fantasized about moderating, but saw where it got me quickly, and I really never want to do that again. I have a lot of respect for the moderators, and people like Lo0p who practice TSM w/ Naltrexone & Bac, but for me, I think I'll be a total AF person, and happy with that, like you are now Anna.

Daz

[Anna B]

My baclofen update

Hi Daz,

I hear what you're saying. I wonder why some people are able to mod on bac and others, like you and me, aren't. It could be a personality thing. Or maybe how severe someone's alcoholism is. Who knows? For me, I know I could just have a glass or two of wine while taking bac but the problem is that once I "allow" myself to do that one or two or three times over the course of a few weeks, the next time I'm stressed or upset or sad or angry or want to celebrate (could really be anything), I'll get drunk and then it will start to spiral down hill.

That's just my pattern and so the easiest thing (well, it's not easy but in the long run it's easier than continuing to ruin my life and having to pick up the pieces all over again) to do is to just be a non-drinker. One way I've done this is for those times when I think "oh, I can just have a glass or two of wine" and I KNOW I could, I also remind myself that there isn't much of a point (who really needs it anyway, right?) and it's not risking the possibility of slowly sliding downhill to the point I was at in July. This is going to sound corny, but the rewards of being sober and healthy and happy are way too great to risk losing!

-Anna