Sobriety. Whatever that is.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

How do you know that?
Ig2

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

I don't.

But aren't you tired of living in this ivory tower, fortress?

I know I am.

Ig1

[Guitarista]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

ignominous;983196 wrote: Tracy just sent me a pm with a very similar byeline.

In many ways I relate sobriety to the living, knawing, pervading, ever present, unhapiness that is the reality of my existence. Alcohol, heroin give me temporary release from this exhausting life.

This is why I think so many of us are reluctant to give up our vices/drug of choice. They give us needed relief.

I need to do 2 things
1) Fully understand that Sobriety doesn't = anguish/pain/unhappiness
2) Address the problems that do = my anguish/pain/unhapinaess
Then I will finally be ready for sobriety and reality

Hi Iggy,

The above 2 thing's are very good places to start, to be sure. Sober life was impossible for me to comprehend when i was drinking. Impossible, unreal, a fantasy, a truth i knew deep down was the best path for me. I just had to take it in small step's. Get a day or 2 af, then longer, then 30 day's etc. There was NO way that i could see, feel, or understand/grasp, how sober living would work for me. Now, almost 2 yrs. sober, life is magical, and the treasures and gift's i have amaze and astound me. AF life is freedom, and is wild. It's a rollercoaster ride to begin with, and a totally new, upside down way of living for me, but it's real, and true, and it is my path, or at least, a sober head has revealed, and unclouded the way. For me now, living sober mean's Freedom, Clarity, and Pride. Addressing the underlying issues of why we drink, drug, abuse ourselves, is important too. At least to dig deep and try to understand, and to NEVER wear any blame OR shame about the past. Everyday is a new, fresh opportunity to start again, and write our new story from this day. It's up to us to act, to take the first little step, and to do.

Go for it friend.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

Thanks man.

I'm ready to live life in the fast lane.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

I'll just have to consult with my other personalities first!

[Guitarista]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

Acceptance has been a useful thing for me. Very hard, but i do my best to accept who i am, what i am, and do what i need to everyday, to be the best man that i can, with what i have to work with, me. That's all i can do Iggy, and you know, that's okay. But this is easy for me to say, now i'm off the booze and relatively settled, and strong, but we can work on the sculpture, and carve away little by little. The trick for me was to strip everything back, break the overwhelment factor right down, and work out where to start, what to do/tackle first, then begin the journey. And you are here expressing your thought's and feeling's, so you are on that forward journey already. Just some thought's.

Best wishes, Greg.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

Thanks again. I hope I'm starting in the right place this time.

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

Conversely, if any one thinks I'm being inappropriate, hogging the forum or going off topic; don't be shy/over sensitive, tell me so.

I'm like that numbskull English song "I get knocked down, but I get up again"

[muchthought]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

Thank you for sharing your journey, ig. This is a good place to vent! Half the time you make me laugh, the other half I am bewildered. But, hey, whatever you need to do to conquer this.

I have had the most AF days in the past two weeks than I have had for 17 years. Can't believe I can drive by the grocery store without stopping in for a bottle of wine.

You gotta get those smilies working though.

[jodiex]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

i dont know u ig but im just saying hi, read ur threads and in a weird way can identify

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

Thanks for the support Much and your progress sounds promising.

Next time if you don't know where I'm coming from, chime in. I try to make my posts succinct but maybe they could be clearer. Also when I look back at some of the things I wrote I can find it a challenge to get back on the same train of thought!

Hi Jo. Any one who can identify, even in a weird way, is alright by me.

[Guest]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

what do your other personalities think then?

[ignominous]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

I really don't know till they chime in!
Usually I can see all sides of an argument but don't fit in there myself. I will join in for arguments sake but could easily have joined in on the other side. I have no direction, no strong beliefs, just a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl.

or the alternative answer could be

Ig1: Interesting question

Ig2: Fuck off

[Guest]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

ignominous;984235 wrote: I really don't know till they chime in!
Usually I can see all sides of an argument but don't fit in there myself. I will join in for arguments sake but could easily have joined in on the other side. I have no direction, no strong beliefs, just a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl.

or the alternative answer could be

Ig1: Interesting question

Ig2: Fuck off

:H:H I hear you! Im a bit like that myself, Ive always said, ive been cursed with the ability to see all points of view...perhaps ive a multiple personality myself??:nutso:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Sobriety. Whatever that is.

alter-egos

Ig, interesting debate. I've got a lot of the same shit going on in my head too.
For me it's the struggle between owning the mistakes I've made and owning that I'm sick. I don't care what the past has been. That doesn't mean I don't think about how I fucked up in the 2nd grade, or was a complete bitch last month. What's worrisome is that they carry equal weight in my mind. And latching on to any one of the many leads me down a really self-belittling path. Or worse, a woe is me. Or the worst, I'm better than ______.
Bac and some of the discussions here have really been enlightening for me in terms of the balance. I feel much more free to own or disown whatever will silence my alter-egos. In my mind they just need to shut the f* up. I've got a task at hand: Managing life, while taking bac, in order to achieve forever-sobriety. Period. The little voices in my head undermine that.
I've always believed that I ignore them at my peril. Now I think they're like the women on the View (annoying talk show full of way-too-vociferous women) that just blah-blah-blah me to death.
In addition to the info here, I've come to this conclusion because I'm having panic attacks. I am not in any way belittling panic attacks, but it turns out they are all in my head. The shaking, quaking, feeling like my heart is going to explode physical symptoms are all too real, but there is nothing physically wrong with me. They've got to go and it turns out I'm the only one who can do anything about them. (Including managing meds, ftr.)
I would guess that we all have a mind full of ivory towers and gutters, what we set forth depends on the audience. If the audience is just me I'm very likely to keep that merry go round going until I end up with wet brain in a padded room. No, but thank you.
I'm reading Self-Coaching by Luciani. While I've got a room full of self-help books, I'm really connecting with this one. And to borrow from someone on here: Thoughts become words, become actions, and ultimately define us. Be aware of the thoughts. Yours have given me something to mull over and I appreciate it.
With you in trying to stay focused on the goal. The rest will understandably follow.