Baclofen sometimes has seemed like a nasty miracle to me. It?s hard to live with ? like a bad-tempered rotty who bites your ankles and poops on the floor, but protects you from the BAD guy. I?m fairly lucky in that if I titrate up too fast, I barf. It?s a pretty clear signal that self-corrects the problem of over doing it.
Bac has allowed me to do seven days AF, and it has given me remarkable relief from the anxiety that has plagued me for as long as I can remember.
My craving for AL is not gone, it?s just much quieter now. It?s more like ?I want to visit Disneyland someday? than ?If I don?t get some relief, I?m going to kill somebody or myself!? That?s pretty huge, all by its own self ? at least it is for me. It?s also allowed me to sleep. Being AF has probably done as much as the bac in that regard, but they are irretrievably interwoven for me at this point, since I wouldn?t be AF without the bac. I?ve been to inpatient treatment three times. They were all good. I?ve never felt this good, this rested, this sane. And I would strangle the rotty if I could.
The cravings are not gone (I?m only on 70 mg ? which I just upped to today ? I never up the dose by more than 10 mg in a day), but I can deal with them. They?re not sharp and biting. They?re more of a nuisance than a signal that I need to do ?this? (drink) to live ? like I need to breathe to live. That?s how it used to be for me. It?s not like that anymore. Not today anyway. I fear that my tolerance will challenge the strength of my cravings and I?ll have to ante-up. But I?m not there today. Or, at least, I?m not yet there today. I don?t have grand expectations in that way ? looking at 30 days or 60 days or whatever. I?m just okay today. I like being okay, even if it?s just for a day, even if it?s just for this moment. That?s way more than I had before. I?ll take it, for however long it lasts!
Bac has allowed me to do seven days AF, and it has given me remarkable relief from the anxiety that has plagued me for as long as I can remember.
My craving for AL is not gone, it?s just much quieter now. It?s more like ?I want to visit Disneyland someday? than ?If I don?t get some relief, I?m going to kill somebody or myself!? That?s pretty huge, all by its own self ? at least it is for me. It?s also allowed me to sleep. Being AF has probably done as much as the bac in that regard, but they are irretrievably interwoven for me at this point, since I wouldn?t be AF without the bac. I?ve been to inpatient treatment three times. They were all good. I?ve never felt this good, this rested, this sane. And I would strangle the rotty if I could.
The cravings are not gone (I?m only on 70 mg ? which I just upped to today ? I never up the dose by more than 10 mg in a day), but I can deal with them. They?re not sharp and biting. They?re more of a nuisance than a signal that I need to do ?this? (drink) to live ? like I need to breathe to live. That?s how it used to be for me. It?s not like that anymore. Not today anyway. I fear that my tolerance will challenge the strength of my cravings and I?ll have to ante-up. But I?m not there today. Or, at least, I?m not yet there today. I don?t have grand expectations in that way ? looking at 30 days or 60 days or whatever. I?m just okay today. I like being okay, even if it?s just for a day, even if it?s just for this moment. That?s way more than I had before. I?ll take it, for however long it lasts!
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