My progress with Baclofen

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

Never thought I'd see the day when belly-bloat and hormones were on a bac thread. :H

Are you trying to rub it in about the weather??? Yes, bac to the gym for me, too. New program which involves busting my butt so I can actually see some results. Looking forward to it!
Hope it's a good day, Is.

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

neva eva;1030441 wrote:
Yes, bac to the gym for me, too.

Just had to point out your use of the word bac! :H
Well, I guess we've all got bac on the brain in a big way lately!!

It's only because I was born and raised in a warm climate that I can't handle the cold. I've got thin blood!

[seeking_serenity]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde;1030576 wrote: Just had to point out your use of the word bac! :H
Well, I guess we've all got bac on the brain in a big way lately!!

hahaha! Freudian slip, neva! Just goes to show how one-tracked we can be during this quest for sobriety.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

It was intentional. I'm so clever. :H

One of the curmudgeons around here told me he thought he ought to put a flower in his hair to talk to us. :H:H:H (and ftr, that I'd like to see.) yay to the feeling the love! (rusty and taw, too.)
Hope it's a good day for you guys. I'm bac (ha?) to work. pffft. and out of sorts in general.
:l

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

I decided to bump down from 135mgs a little prematurely. Said I'd wait til the 1st of the year, but I don't think the 2 days early will make a difference. It felt like it was time. The SEs had actually started to get better. I stopped almost falling asleep every day at work and I've been sleeping better through the night (could it be that those 2 things are tied together?? :H ). I'm keeping my doses high where I need them, in the afternoon. But I cut my 25mg morning dose in half, so I'm actually at 122.5mgs right now. We'll see how that goes. I'd be fine staying here for a few weeks, I think.

I saw my doc yesterday for a follow up (for the blood work I was supposed to have gotten done 2 years ago!). It all came back great, btw. Cholesterol, triglycerides, liver and kidney function, thyroid, the whole gamut. And my high bp is very well controlled by the lowest dose of meds, which is great. I think I may have gotten back on my doc's good side after not following through with my appt. from 2 years ago and going MIA!
I told him that I didn't think I would get down to 80mgs as a maintenance dose for awhile, that I wanted to take it slow and make sure that it all sticks. He said that whenever I got done with the 3 months' worth of 80mgs/day that he prescribed, to just call the office and they'd call in more for me.
Apparently the prescription mail order service doesn't deal with baclofen a lot. My doc asked me if I'd gotten it, as he'd received a few calls from them about it. I don't know what they called him about, but they seemed to have a hard time deciding on what to charge me! When they shipped it out, the website still didn't have a price. When I got the pills and the invoice, it said $20.00(?). :H 20 bucks for 3 months' worth of bac?! I'll take that!! That's what the shipping was (probably less actually) than my shipments with 4Rx. Well, it will probably only be 2 months' worth of bac for me, but as long as I can get more called in, then that's fine.

I got scared the last time I titrated down and started to get some cravings creep back in. Not wanting to undo all of my hard work, I quickly bumped my dose back up. Thing is, I probably could've gotten through it with a minimal amount of willpower. But I'd gotten used to not having to use any! But I'm definitely going to be keeping it in mind this time and using some more tools, aside from JUST the bac. In any case, I think I will be titrating down much more slowly than I titrated up.

Happy New Year to all of my MWO friends, no matter what you may be doing tonight, even if you're skipping the whole thing like me!

[Sunnyvalenting]

My progress with Baclofen

IS,
Great going! I take a bit of BAC if I even just START worrying that I will drink. I don't take much but it is like a commitment to myself to carry it with me. I know some of the anxiety about relapse is just sort of self induced as I don't really THINK I will but don't yet trust myself 100% bac free even after almost a year. But what a year! Compared to 1 year ago I almost cannot recognize that woman who was dying, drunk, fat, depressed, hopeless and heartless. So much has changed in just 12 months. It is not just change, it is change over time that brings me this relief. MWO has been a wonderful forum to share in and I wish you and all wonderful new things in the new year. I will toast 2011 with something AF tonight.
Sunny

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Sunnyvalenting;1031941 wrote: IS,
Great going! I take a bit of BAC if I even just START worrying that I will drink. I don't take much but it is like a commitment to myself to carry it with me. I know some of the anxiety about relapse is just sort of self induced as I don't really THINK I will but don't yet trust myself 100% bac free even after almost a year. But what a year! Compared to 1 year ago I almost cannot recognize that woman who was dying, drunk, fat, depressed, hopeless and heartless. So much has changed in just 12 months. It is not just change, it is change over time that brings me this relief. MWO has been a wonderful forum to share in and I wish you and all wonderful new things in the new year. I will toast 2011 with something AF tonight.
Sunny

:l
You've come so far, Sunny. You're really an inspiration to so many of us here! You've made such remarkable changes in the last year, you have every reason to be proud of yourself. Today is definitely a good day to look back over everything that you have accomplished.

I've dealt with a lot of tough things myself this past year, the bac/AL battle being just one of them, but I think it was integral in me sorting out some other things as well. I'm looking forward to making a LOT more positive changes in 2011.

I was also trying to think of something good to drink tonight of the AF variety. I dunno, water with lemon sounds pretty good to me. I've found I don't even need to substitute delicious AF beverages like I used to. (Not insinuating that's what you're doing Sunny, I know you were speaking of toasting the New Year!) I find a lot of the associations that I had with doing an activity and having a drink are unwinding now. Although, a tangy fizzy bottle of kombucha is sounding pretty good! And it just so happens that I've got some in the fridge!

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Let me preface this by saying that this is NOT how I thought my first update here for 2011 would go.
So as I mentioned in another thread, I was invited to a low key girls' night on Friday. I had 2 small glasses of wine, really just let the glass sit on the table most of the night. It was pretty much just an afterthought, and I was happy with that.
Saturday ended up being pretty emotionally stressful for me. I tried to relax by taking a long hot bath, but still decided to have a glass of wine with dinner. This was the first day that I started taking the baclofen that I have a prescription for. And since I'd been on 122.5 mgs for over a week, and I'd heard that Rx bac is supposedly stronger than the overseas generics (still don't know if there's any truth to that), I figured I would be safe to step down to 110mgs. Not sure if that really had anything at all to do with what happened though. One glass of wine turned into 2, and then I had a beer. The thing is, I was feeling mentally and physically more relaxed than I had in awhile. The chronic back pain I've been experiencing lately loosened up, my brain started to unwind and let go. I haven't been sleeping well for awhile, which is really the only reason why I've been wanting to step down my bac dose. I wake up pretty much every hour and toss and turn, and just don't get restful sleep. And it's been adding up.
So Saturday night I turned in pretty early. I started to drink a small glass of scotch as I laid in bed and watched tv, but I was too tired to finish it. I felt fine on Sunday, physically anyway. I got a great night sleep, which for some reason caused me to wake up feeling panicky! I slept for 9 straight hours, I should have felt wonderful. The slightly uncomfortable panicky feeling turned into the blahs. But I eventually snapped out of that by just being busy and getting some things done. My dad and I had planned to go out to dinner at a place called The Pub. Well, the name speaks for itself, LOTS of beer! I could have just had water, but I didn't. I told myself I had a 2 beer limit. There's definitely a pscyhological aspect there. My dad is a man of few words, but once he's had a little bit to drink, he opens up a lot and is easy to talk to. So when we drink together, it really helps to facilitate the conversation. Though I know if just drank water, he'd probably still open up.
Well, I stuck to the 2 beer limit. I could definitely feel them hit me though. Little bit larger, higher alcohol content than a regular domestic brew. To continue this father-daughter bonding after dinner, we sat and had some Scotch together. And it was a healthy pour. I'm trying to figure out what my thought process really was at this point. Had we not gone out to dinner, I would have had no problem not drinking. By the way, after Saturday, I bumped the bac dosage back up to 120mgs. I can't tell a difference between the generic and the Rx, but it's also hard to tell considering I've been drinking since I switched over to the Rx bac.
This morning I woke up and actually called out of work. Really never thought I'd have to do that because of drinking again. It's not a really bad hangover, I feel pretty fine now (noon).
I really don't want to go higher than 120mgs again. In fact, aside from this past weekend, I've been doing absolutely fine on that dose. I think one of the things that kept me from drinking on the higher doses were actually the side effects. I already felt fucked up, so the thought of adding alcohol to the mix was just absolutely out of the question. And I really haven't been craving, aside from Saturday when I was craving relaxation and knew that the wine would provide that. And after having had one, both on Saturday and Sunday, it's not that I was really craving more, that was definitely habit.
I think the trick now is finding better ways to relax. I'm already working on the back pain, reading a book about the causes and ways to find relief without doctors and drugs. And working out definitely helps the mental aspect.
So that's my shitty update. In his book, OA said that after he hit the switch, he tested it on occasion by having a few drinks. And that he would up the dosage of the baclofen for the next few days to get back on track. So I might consider doing that. I'm just not looking forward to it causing further interference with my sleep.

Feel free to weigh in.

[taw]

My progress with Baclofen

Hi Is, soory you had a rough weekend...I know what you mean about the relaxation...seems with the first sip of wine every ounce of tension just leaves my shoulders and I can breathe again!

Don't let this get you too down...you were doing so well...you have realized the triggers/wants and now you can focus on how to get the same affect without AL....

I am home today with a sick son so I will be checking...please let me know if I can do anything for you!

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

taw;1039155 wrote: Hi Is, soory you had a rough weekend...I know what you mean about the relaxation...seems with the first sip of wine every ounce of tension just leaves my shoulders and I can breathe again!

Don't let this get you too down...you were doing so well...you have realized the triggers/wants and now you can focus on how to get the same affect without AL....

I am home today with a sick son so I will be checking...please let me know if I can do anything for you!

Thanks for the response, taw! I am doing my best not to feel too shitty about the weekend and use every bit of it as a learning experience. I was really enjoying feeling GOOD, and now I am really NOT enjoying feeling like ass!
Yup, as so many others have mentioned after hitting the switch, now is when the real work begins.

[bleep69]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde, your update doesn't sound as shitty as you make it out to be! Sounds fairly relaxed and pleasant to me, although it obviously depends on what you were aiming for. You had a limit, and you stuck to it, pretty much. Don't beat yourself up...

taw, I hear you on the shoulders just... settling, relaxing, after the first sip. Grim, but pleasant. More pleasant than grim, actually. Hope your son is ok.

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

bleep69;1039172 wrote: Isolde, your update doesn't sound as shitty as you make it out to be! Sounds fairly relaxed and pleasant to me, although it obviously depends on what you were aiming for. You had a limit, and you stuck to it, pretty much. Don't beat yourself up...

taw, I hear you on the shoulders just... settling, relaxing, after the first sip. Grim, but pleasant. More pleasant than grim, actually. Hope your son is ok.

Bleep, you're right, it's not like I went on a bender. But on Saturday and Sunday, I drank like how I used to drink, which is not something I really ever wanted to revisit. It just seems that everyone else who has hit the switch is able to stay AF with relative ease. And while moderation is my goal, I definitely drank more this weekend than I was comfortable with. I had 7 drinks total for the whole month of December (considering it was the holidays and I was quite stressed with other things, that was amazing for me). I had more than that in the last 2 days. And I'm really not comfortable with that.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

Hey, Is. I can't stick around, but wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
I think that's part of the rub with moderation, right? Finding the balance? Obviously I really wouldn't know, but I'd imagine that it would be difficult to make the decision in the moment. ? Maybe?
Anyway, sorry. Bummer to not be able to go to work. Hope it's a nice relaxing day, for you though. And yeah, a better way to relax! ha

[seeking_serenity]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde--don't beat yourself up over it. You didn't go on a bender, and you didn't do anything stupid or embarrassing. You're all right. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

Okay, a couple more thoughts and this is just off the top of my head, which I usually regret...

I think we play sort of fast and loose with the bac around here. So much information, and not nearly enough. It makes it easy to try and negotiate with the medicine, you know?
But if we start from the fundamental understanding, that our brains are chemically out of balance, and go from there, it makes sense that fluctuating amounts of bac will affect whether we have one glass, or six, and a scotch.
I'm not going to flush this out tonight, and maybe some one else can help with that.

There is a delicate balance of the bac, I think. As evidenced on several other threads, atm.

Especially if one is moderating. Or drinking daily, for that matter. OA did not do either. He was abstinent, and binged. He 'tested' the medicine and found that he craved the next day. (If memory serves.) And so he upped his dose the next day.
Keep taking the pills! If your brain tells you that another is within the realm of reason, consider taking another pill and putting off the drink?
That's all I've got for the night. Not because of the booze, ftr! I'm beat.
xo