My progress with Baclofen

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Bruunhilde, I take magnesium almost every night to help me relax and to keep the teeth clenching down (which it hasn't been helping with at all lately - time to dig out the mouth guard again). It wasn't doing anything for the constipation though. I picked up some Benefiber, which is 100% tasteless and dissolves completely. Been stirring that into my coffee the last couple of days and it seems to be doing the trick.

SS, I've been feeling "off" a lot lately too. A couple of weeks ago, I felt like I was on top of the world. And lately I've been feeling more like the world is on top of me. No particular reason to be feeling this way! I've been trying to just accept it and look at what might be lying underneath the surface. I'm continuing to obsess over things, making mountains out of molehills in my head. Bac related or not, it's hard to say.

Rusty, I'm glad you figured out why you caved! Skipping doses will definitely do that to you. Sorry to hear that you're starting to experience insomnia now. I've been there and it sucks! Maybe it has something to do with the time difference as well though?

Yesterday was my birthday, and I went out to dinner at a great restaurant with my family and some friends. I had planned for a couple glasses of wine, which is what I stuck to. I probably could have just had 1 and sipped on it all night though, because I really wasn't feeling it. My head was feeling kind of weird, even before the wine, maybe because I was so darned hungry! It was very easy not to have more. And I very easily could have had less, but I didn't want to waste it because it wasn't cheap and I wasn't paying for it!

Yet another side effect I've noticed - I bruise really easily lately! I've always been slightly accident prone, and tend to find bruises that I have no idea how they got there. But lately I've had a LOT more!! Feels like my skin is more fragile. Anybody else?

Thanks for all of the support. :l Having been feeling kinda yucky for a few days now, it's nice to come on here and read everybody's replies and encouraging words.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

Happy Birthday, Is!
woop woop!

[Rusty]

My progress with Baclofen

Happy Birthday, Is!:bday7::bananacomputer::yougo:

You are a wonderful person and I love reading your posts!!!

[Rusty]

My progress with Baclofen

Neva,

Can I PM you? I am in Barcelona and I need to talk ASAP! Help, please.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

I can't stay, Rusty. Hope you're okay.
:ls & :h
Hang in there! xoxo

[bleep69]

My progress with Baclofen

Hah, great to hear about the constipation issues, I'd somehow missed it as a SE up till now! Nice to know you aren't alone, straining away...

Happy birthday for yesterday! :l

It's amazing how much emotion can be packed into such small pictures!

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

bleep69;1042982 wrote:
Happy birthday for yesterday! :l

It's amazing how much emotion can be packed into such small pictures!

Yup, these little emoticon guys can say so much!!

Like - :thanks: for all the birthday wishes!!


I feel like I'm still doing a dance with bac, not really sure about where we stand. When I hit the switch, it was absolutely and complete indifference to alcohol, if not a bit of an aversion. Now I'm only mostly indifferent (reminds me of a scene from my favorite movie The Princess Bride in which Miracle Max says of Wesley, "He's only mostly dead."). During the week, I really have no thoughts about alcohol. Something happens during the weekend though. But it's not the normal AL me saying, "It's the weekend, I deserve to have a drink or two." During the week I'm at work all day, it takes up a lot of my time. I come home, get a few things done, have dinner, relax and it's time for bed.
But on the weekends, if I am really busy all day, I'm usually in physical pain by the end of the day (having back issues lately), and AL works better than anything to quell it. And then I have weekends like this one, where I'm not really doing much at all, except being in my head and dealing with the blahs and driving myself crazy, and as was always the case for my drinking, AL is the escape.

So now I have to take a long hard look at where I'm at. As I've always said, moderation has been my goal. And like it was mentioned in Nev's thread, having 2 drinks on a weekend night most likely won't garner you much sympathy! It's something I would've been thrilled with a few months ago. Perhaps it's time to stop comparing myself to all of those who have continued to be indifferent not only after the switch, but all through titrating down a LOT. I haven't even dropped my dose that much, not nearly as much as I would have liked, and I'm still dealing with cravings. The cravings are different now though. I really could still resist the call if I chose.
So I need to decide if where I'm at with moderation is something I'm happy to maintain, and either keep taking 120mgs or possibly drop down a bit further and judge whether or not the cravings get worse, or if I want to be MORE indifferent and increase the dose some more. I know that only I can answer that. Just putting it out there as to where I'm at. It was easier to just keep titrating up towards the switch, that was a clearly laid path. It doesn't seem like it should be such a difficult decision, but I've been occupying a very difficult head space lately and feeling like my own worst enemy.

[Grommet]

My progress with Baclofen

Happy Birthday Is!!!!!!!

Mine's coming up in a few days. I used to HATE birthdays (one year older, blah, blah). But Dr. L says Bac makes you younger, so I am subtracting 1 year from my age this year :H.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

good stuff, Is.
Love the Princess Bride.
I wonder whether or not the time elapsed after switch, prior to first experience with booze makes a difference?
Have you decided what to do? Or what moderation means to you?

[ignominious]

My progress with Baclofen

Is, I totally relate to being unsure about my feelings for alcohol. I wrote recently on another thread that although times are tough the last thing I want to do is drink but that isn't to say I haven't thought about it and wanted some of its pleasures.

It was easy titrating up, that's all we had to do. Keep taking the pills and more of 'em 'til we stopped drinking. On the way down, I again find myself in nowhere land. My lifestyle has changed somewhat along with my perceptions of life. As time progresses its dificult to know how much is due to Baclofen and how much is due to not drinkning. Frankly though I've titrated down more, I am as uncertain as you are about the role that Baclofen and alcohol will play in my future.

I long to "test" my cure by going on a bender with the lads. It would be wonderful to know that alcohol is truly an enemy of the past. For the moment though I am choosing to abstein for fear of that first sip! When I came off heroin I didn't touch any for about a year, even after that lenghth of time it was to easy to become a junkie again, eventually however I was able to take it or leave it. Today I have no interest in it and rarely come across it but if Keith Richards wanted a shooting partner tomorrow, I'd be happy to join in! In aout a year I'll have a better idea of where I am or you'll be able to tell me!

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Thanks for the feedback Ig. Nice to know you're still following along with my journey. And as they say, misery loves company. So I'm glad to know that we feel the same way about the frustrating lack of clear direction on the post-switch path.
My first thought when you said that you long to test it out by going on a bender with the boys was, "You're assuming that you COULD go on a bender!". Of course, we can always force ourselves go drink, and the drinks do go down easier the more into our cups we are, but I find that I very easily get to a point now that I say, "Aaaaand I'm good" and just stop. I do the same thing with food now too. I respect your decision not to test it, I think that is probably the smart thing to do. Amazing that you have gotten to such a point with heroin. That is one of the few drugs I've always said I would never do because I was afraid I would like it too much and be instantly addicted. If you can get to that point with such a highly addictive drug, then I'm sure you will be able to get that point with AL too.

Nev, I did make a decision. Not the one I thought I would either! I bumped my dose up to 140mg now. And I gotta say, it was absolutely the right decision. The absolute malaise that I'd be wallowing in all during the long weekend is gone. I was getting the bac'd out feeling yesterday, with the racing mind, inability to focus, etc. Today it's not so bad. Ringing in the ears has gotten louder, and I am always hearing SOMETHING, even when there is nothing to hear. But I am sleeping SO well again! It's been at least 2 months since bac had me sleeping this well. It's awesome. And because I'm getting good solid sleep at night, I am less tired during the day. It's odd, because while I was still titrating up to the switch, anything higher than 135mgs brought on the insomnia. And now I'm sleeping better than I have in awhile. I sure won't be looking this gift horse in the mouth though. I'm happy to take the sleep.
Rather than adding on more mgs to my early evening dose (I always try to keep that one the highest to get past the witching hour), I decided to take the advice that I've been reading around here lately and try to keep the doses as even as possible. So I'm taking 20-40-40-40. I'm sure it's that higher dose at night that is helping me sleep so well. I'd like to not dose up any higher if at all possible. I'll stay here for awhile and see how it goes with the craving.
Hmm, what does moderation mean to me? That is an excellent question! At one point, drinking only on the weekend would have been my definition. But now I think it's more about not drinking on any sort of schedule. So not just because it's Saturday, for instance. Not just because I'm going out to eat. Being able to decide on occasion to have a glass of wine with dinner and not needing to have more afterwards (so far so good on that one!). It doesn't amount to a number. I guess it's more of a "take it or leave it" type of attitude, with the majority of the time being spent AF.

[Grommet]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde;1044786 wrote: T
Hmm, what does moderation mean to me? That is an excellent question! At one point, drinking only on the weekend would have been my definition. But now I think it's more about not drinking on any sort of schedule. So not just because it's Saturday, for instance. Not just because I'm going out to eat. Being able to decide on occasion to have a glass of wine with dinner and not needing to have more afterwards (so far so good on that one!). It doesn't amount to a number. I guess it's more of a "take it or leave it" type of attitude, with the majority of the time being spent AF.

Thanks for this Is. I have been struggling/obsessing with this question as well. You put it perfectly - you've ended my struggles/obsessions! (at least for this brief moment...)

:thanks:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde;1044786 wrote: At one point, drinking only on the weekend would have been my definition. But now I think it's more about not drinking on any sort of schedule... I guess it's more of a "take it or leave it" type of attitude, with the majority of the time being spent AF.

Indifference, right? the 'meh' I could have a glass, but I really want tea, atm?

I really appreciate your (and Ig's) thoughts about post switch dilemmas. It helps to arm those of us that are preparing for that part. You're very articulate about it, too. Thanks.
Keep us posted!
:l

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Ugh! Apparently the 2 blissful nights of sleep that I experienced was just my body getting used to the new higher dose. I'm back to tossing and turning and waking up frequently throughout the night. :upset: I was really hopeful that the fantastic sleep would continue. That would make the ringing in the ears and all of the other increased SEs TOTALLY worth it. I really want to make sure that I'm completely indifferent (again!) though before starting to titrate back down. I'm considering asking my doc for an Rx for something that will help me sleep. Is there something that's really safe and non-habit forming? I've seen a few people mention zolpiderm. This tossing and turning at night is what leads to increased somnolence (and caffeine intake!) during the day for me. I might go up to 160mgs next week. It was at 150 last time that I got debilitating insomnia. I'm more scared of that than any other SE.
The only craving for AL that I'm really experiencing now is purely out of a desire to numb the pain in my back. Pain killers don't phase it, but AL completely numbs it. I'm really trying hard to white knuckle it for now, until my inversion table gets here from Amazon next week. I'm really hoping that will help! If not, then it's off to the chiropractor I go...

[Rusty]

My progress with Baclofen

Hey Is,

As far as the insomnia, yup, that's a drag, and I have to fight the sleepiness during the day....especially since it causes my eyes to be instantly bloodshot and I look like VampireWoman! Not cool when I'm with clients. I take 2 Advil PMs. They seem to work pretty well....but you have to be figure on being able to sleep 6-7 hours...otherwise you'll feel like crap in the morning.