My progress with Baclofen

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

Hi, Is.
Hmmm. I went looking for you to chat about inane stuff and saw that it's been two days since you logged on and that you were struggling. (I know you only check in most of the time during the week, but I'm sorely missing you!)

Insomnia is terrible, and I'm convinced it has a lot to do with the other SEs, at least for me. My sleeping has levelled out, but I'm pretty stringent about going to bed at a certain time and staying in bed when I wake up. Still, though, I'm only sleeping 4 to 6 hours a night. The night before last I woke at midnight, ready to make coffee and start the day. I guess I've just gotten used to the insomnia, but I'm clearly still experiencing it.
I'm beginning to understand, too, why there is an urgency to titrate down once indifference has been reached. It's onerous. And what to do afterward? I'm really struggling with how to fill my time without booze. I drink at home, alone. It fills the time. What did you fill your time with pre and post switch?
xo, sister.
If and when you're ready for banal, I need some music! I downloaded a new song I thought was a positive one, but I can still sweat to. Turns out it's about leaving an abusive spouse. What is it with me and the attraction to tragedy, even drama I can't relate to at all???
Hope you're well and that the weekend was fun.
K

[seeking_serenity]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde;1045722 wrote: Ugh! Apparently the 2 blissful nights of sleep that I experienced was just my body getting used to the new higher dose. I'm back to tossing and turning and waking up frequently throughout the night. :upset: I was really hopeful that the fantastic sleep would continue. That would make the ringing in the ears and all of the other increased SEs TOTALLY worth it. I really want to make sure that I'm completely indifferent (again!) though before starting to titrate back down. I'm considering asking my doc for an Rx for something that will help me sleep. Is there something that's really safe and non-habit forming? I've seen a few people mention zolpiderm. This tossing and turning at night is what leads to increased somnolence (and caffeine intake!) during the day for me. I might go up to 160mgs next week. It was at 150 last time that I got debilitating insomnia. I'm more scared of that than any other SE.
The only craving for AL that I'm really experiencing now is purely out of a desire to numb the pain in my back. Pain killers don't phase it, but AL completely numbs it. I'm really trying hard to white knuckle it for now, until my inversion table gets here from Amazon next week. I'm really hoping that will help! If not, then it's off to the chiropractor I go...

Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. I have the same stuff happen: one night I'll get 8-9 hours of deep sleep, and the next night I'm half-manic and waking up every hour.

Let me know what your doctor says re: sleep medicines. I was going to ask Dr. L about possibly taking Seroquel again. I don't think that the drug did much for me in the past but it DID help me sleep like a freaking baby.

Hope your back problems get better. PM me if you want to talk. :h

[Lowcountryman]

My progress with Baclofen

Is,
Zolpidem is great. Used it a lot, but not during the Bac-journey (punish!punish!). It's a very very light sleeping pill. It made me go to sleep without the tossing, turning and worrying part. It does not keep you in your sleep though.

First thing I do when the first far away signs of insomnia appear again, is getting me a lot of Zolpidems. Like you, returning of that horrible insomnia is what I still fear most. Zolpidem gives you the reinsurance that at least you can fall asleep. It's safe and 'hardly' addictive imo.

I don't have to take Zolpidem now because I sleep like a baby these days. But again: one lousy night, and I'm off to get my prescription Zolpidem the very next day!

Also with you on the 'afterswitch/where do we go from here'- troubles.

Well, just for info.
Low

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

I usually check in at least some during the weekends, Nev. Ended up being too busy though, and then today at work I was really in the weeds as well. So now I've got 3 days of reading to catch up on! It's already getting close to bedtime here, so most of that will have to wait for tomorrow. But I at least wanted to update here. I wrote you back about the music, with some suggestions. Hopefully something there will pan out, I've got some more ideas if you need em!

Serenity, I know exactly what you mean. I'm all over the place with my sleep habits lately! And insomnia is the worst! Although, I know what Nev means about being ready to jump up in the middle of the night and get the day going! Plenty of energy at the time, but man it catches up to me the next day (and in the following days, assuming the insomnia is ongoing, which it usually is once it's started!). Thanks for your comments. Today my back actually felt a bit better! A friend showed me a few stretches that she learned from her chiropractor. One specifically is a correction for the hunched forward posture of sitting at a computer all day and I definitely feel better after I do that one. I'll keep working at it!

Thanks for the tip about the zolpiderm, Low. I've seen that mentioned here a few times. But it doesn't help you stay asleep? That's the part I need help with! I'm asleep in seconds after my eyes close, but end up waking up about 2 hours later... and then every hour after that!

Rusty, I took your advice on the Advil PM on Friday night. Woo boy, was I knocked out! Good thing I tried it on a Friday night, because I still felt drugged the next morning. I had to get up early to go to a doctor's app too! (Got my foot looked at.) 2 cups of coffee had me straight again though. So I was very much looking forward to a great night's sleep on Saturday, since I could sleep in on Sunday. But apparently my body was already used to the Advil PM and I was back in tossing and turning land. I seem to acclimate very quickly to sleep aids. I remember the first time I took melatonin and valerian, I was out cold! But the very next night, I was awake in the middle of the night again. But the Advil PM was buy one get one free at CVS, so I have plenty on stand by. Still better than nothing if I'm really stuck!

So, after my bump up 140 a week ago, I said, "Oh what the hell!" and decided to go up to 160 this week. I was AF all last week (and weekend!), and it was pretty easy, though the thought of a drink (mostly as a painkiller!) did cross my mind a couple of times. I figure, maybe the pharmacy screwed up my prescription for a reason. It was supposed to be for 80mg/day, and they filled it for 160mg/day. In any case, I really want to make it stick this time and be able to titrate down to a more manageable level of bac. I bumped up yesterday, and true to form, I slept like a rock. So if it ends up being like last week's bump to 140, I'll sleep great again tonight and then be back to waking up and tossing and turning tomorrow night. Hopefully that and not insomnia though. It was at 155mgs that I had the worst insomnia. But that was a different brand, so maybe it won't be the same this time (this is what I'm telling myself so I won't stress out about it and MAKE it happen).
Unfortunately it seems that the positive SEs (great sleep, buzzy energy, sharpened senses, etc.) only tend to last for a few days after titrating up, then it's back to "normal", whatever that is on bac.
I'm trying out a new tactic with regards to drinking. Since it's easy to pass up at this point (and I don't even think about it most of the time), I decided to just see how long I can go w/out it. There are no big events or holidays or anything coming up, so no major hurdles to deal with in that sense. I think it will help me figure out what's really a craving and what's more of a "because I can" sort of thought. One thing I haven't experienced again yet is how AL repulsed me when I hit my switch. I think it was mostly because my SEs were so intense, I couldn't even entertain the thought of adding AL into the mix. Now, SEs not so bad. I'd rather it be this way though. AL doesn't have to disgust me, just so long as it no longer has power over me.

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

After that lengthy response, I realized I hadn't addressed the "what do you do with all the free time that you used to spend drinking" question.

Oddly enough, I don't really feel like there is a hole of free time where alcohol used to be. I think that is partly because right after I hit my switch I had a huge shift in my life and also moved as a result of it. So I had plenty of things to do! And another reason is that I still do all of the things that I used to do while I was drinking - watch TV, surf the net, read, etc. Just that now I do it w/out drinking, and without even realizing that I'm not drinking. (As in, I don't feel like there's a void to be filled now that I'm not drinking while doing those things. No substitution necessary.)
During the week, it's really easy. I'm at work most of the day, I come home and take care of some things, maybe run some errands. Eat dinner, watch tv, take a shower, whatever. And there's no time to really even think about drinking.
It also helped when I had the free trial gym membership and I was going and working out. Not only did that also take up time, but I was even less likely to feel like drinking after going and doing something good for myself. Though that was not always the case! I used to go to the gym, then come home and take a shower, eat dinner and have a few drinks! :H It seems like utter nonsense now to do that, like coming home from the gym and eating a super sized fast food meal.
I was planning to go ahead and sign back up at my old gym and keep the fitness trend going, cuz I was feeling really good getting back into working out. But now the back and foot issues have me sidelined. The back is not so bad now that it would prevent me from working out, but I can't even walk w/out pain in my foot now. I'm going to get an X-ray tomorrow, but looks like surgery is going to be the only long term option to possibly being pain free. Yay. :upset:

The weekends can be a little bit more difficult. I either have a weekend like last weekend, in which I'm down in the dumps. In which I want to drink to escape the blah-ness. Or I have a very productive weekend in which I get a lot of stuff done and physically exhaust myself. And in that case, a drink in the evening to relax and unwind sounds like a nice idea.
But now that the intense craving is removed, I can find tools to deal with both of these scenarios that don't involve drinking.

So I'm afraid I can't really answer your question. I don't find that I now have all of this free time that needs to be filled. I feel like I have the same amount of time, but now I actually feel that I can use it productively, because I'm not drinking or recovering from drinking. I gotta say, for the most part, it's pretty awesome!

I'll just say what others have suggested - take up a hobby! Become a fitness junkie (bac seems to make it easy to do that!), take care of things in your life that you used to let slide or procrastinate on.
Nev, is this something that you're already feeling? Or is it just something that you're preparing for? I was prepared for it, but found it to really be a non-issue.

Hopefully some of this gibberish has helped! I'm feeling the most recent bac dose kicking in and turning my brain to mush, so it's off to bed for me! :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

I love your thoughts, Is.
I'm preparing for it in a way, I suppose. But I'm also stuck in the place of not really craving, can't get drunk, lost my taste for it, and still having a couple of drinks when I get home. grrrr. I know, I know. But I don't feel like it's 'just habit.' It's still compulsion.

Yes, to the gym. I'm exhausted all of the time, atm. And it's cooold. And the poor dog has zero interest in going for a run. blah, blah, blah. and waaaah.

Thanks for the music. Haven't had time to really listen, but I'm looking forward to it! rock on sister. I hesitate to admit what's on my ipod! My five-year old friend has moved on from her obsession with Taylor Swift (thank all that's holy) and is now into "Firecracker" or some such, so I listen to that A LOT. sigh. And eminem is the workout standby. He pisses me off and helps me bring it! also got some funny, fun country songs from Low, but not workout music! (not to hijack, but low, this country is not actually nashville-centered, ftr.) :H
I don't have a single hobby that isn't tainted with the stench of booze. I'm looking forward to just not caring about it.

[beatle]

My progress with Baclofen

Isolde;1047948 wrote:

Thanks for the tip about the zolpiderm, Low. I've seen that mentioned here a few times. But it doesn't help you stay asleep? That's the part I need help with! I'm asleep in seconds after my eyes close, but end up waking up about 2 hours later... and then every hour after that!

Just saw this jump out at me.

I'm a tried-and-true zolpidem user (not "user"), and have said it many times before that I am a big fan of this medicine.

What it does (for ME, and this is just ME) -- puts me to sleep gently but quickly. It does not stay in the system long, so I guess you can bank on about 3 hours sleep from it. So, Isolde, what's great for you is (if it works like this for you, too) you can just go to sleep whenever you do, and then when you wake up and can't get back to sleep (try to go back to sleep for a little while first, of course), then you just pop a zolpidem (it's called Stillnocht here in Europe, Ambien in the U.S.) and within 15 minutes you feel all relaxed (not doped out, just relaxed in a gentle way) and fall back to sleep. You can still be awoken (important for people with kids), but it keeps you pretty relaxed for 3-4 hours. This is a great thing if you wake up at 4:00 and can't get back to sleep, but don't want to take a sleeping pill because you have to get up at 7:00.

Now, mind you, people react to different medications wildly differently. And before you take zolpidem, I would google it and read some of the outrageous stories about things people have done on it... some hilarious (waking up in the night, cleaning the house, making breakfast for 6, going back to sleep and waking up the next morning with no recollection of it!), some tragic (driving cars and getting into accidents). There are a lot of steamy stories about wild sex (not recalled) on zolpidem-- but don't get any ideas there.

However, my husband attests to the fact that I have regrettably never cleaned the house and made breakfast for six in the middle of the night, and lamentably concedes that the steamy sex scenes never materialized, either.

Another thing about zolpidem: you build up tolerance fairly quickly... so it's only good for occasional use.

And you should start at a low dose (2,5 mg), since it is very effective at first at low doses.

There I go, pushing drugs again. You'd never guess that I am a nutrition/health/holistic healing junkie.

[gratitude]

My progress with Baclofen

that's how I use it beatle. I go to sleep pretty easily but usually wake up after 4 hours. take a 1/2 or 1/4 tab and back to sleep for 3 or 4 more hours. I go through periods of sleeping all through the night and not having to take it which is great also.

[beatle]

My progress with Baclofen

neva eva;1048778 wrote: But I'm also stuck in the place of not really craving, can't get drunk, lost my taste for it, and still having a couple of drinks when I get home. grrrr. I know, I know. But I don't feel like it's 'just habit.' It's still compulsion.

I don't have a single hobby that isn't tainted with the stench of booze. I'm looking forward to just not caring about it.

That's me all over (except your "couple" drinks are my "few" drinks).

I think what Isolde says happened is what will (hopefully) happen to me. It's hard for me to imagine having time to "fill" -- I just need time to do all the things I should and need to do. Without alcohol, I'm thinking I might have the time and energy to do them. What to do sober is not a looming problem for me.

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Ah, I didn't realize that zolpiderm was Ambien! They make a kind now (I think it's called Ambien CR) that is time released, so it helps you sleep through the night. I've heard of those crazy stories!
Because I hate bugging my doc for drugs, I'll try to make do with what I have on hand for now, some xanax and the Advil PM. I "seem" to be doing ok sleep-wise on the 160 dose so far. I had 2 nights of great sleep because of the bac right after I increased the dose, took half a xanax the next night because I'd had coffee very late in the day and felt that my mind wasn't ready to be quiet, and took Advil PM last night, mostly because my back was sore (from setting up my inversion table, yay!). I think the Advil PM works better if I don't use it too often. Last night I didn't get the drugged up feeling from the first time I took it, but I slept very peacefully. This makes me think that right now I would probably sleep pretty well even w/out taking anything, because when it's really bad, nothing will keep me from tossing and turning and waking up constantly. I'll try out that theory tonight.
One awesome thing I noticed about the xanax, which makes me wish I had my own script for it - absolutely NO teeth clenching. It was wonderful. I didn't get night sweats either, which is something I've been experiencing almost every night lately. I really thought it was just due to the room not being cold enough and me getting hot when I sleep that was causing it. But I saw an episode of The Doctors the other day in which they talked about it and that it can be caused by stress and anxiety. Considering all of the muscle tensing I get on high dose bac, it's no wonder that I've been getting night sweats lately, or that the one night recently that I didn't experience it was when I took the xanax.
I thought it was a funny coincidence that in the same show, they talked about tinnitus. :H
I'm really hoping that all of this will even out when I'm able to drop the bac dose down and I can once again experience a relaxed body, low anxiety brain, and deep sleep, w/out the need for xanax. I know it can form a dependency, so I try to keep it to about once a week.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My progress with Baclofen

I'm happy for you that you're switch-seeking again. It'll be very interesting (to me!) to find out whether being AF helps...
Really bummed for you about your foot.
my suggestion for word of the day: exacerbate (yay, logophiles!)
I hope that the sleep meds don't exacerbate forgetfullness! It would be really nice to find even a short term solution to the interrupted sleep. I'm not going to take anything remotely habit forming, too tempting... Or a holistic approach. Too many unknowns for this neurotic woman!
Please let me know what you think in terms of the other stuff.
(I can't remember if it was this thread?) I used to buy expensive coffee and cheap booze. The last bottle of wine I bought was v. expensive (and still not palatable, ftr) and I'm buying cheap coffee, since that has now moved into the realm of NEED not pleasure! lol
(sorry for this is a hijack)
My favorite song EVER (atm)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MOxsvx-HVU[/video]]YouTube - Chumbawamba - Mary, Mary (Stigmatic Mix)
Favorite lyrics:
I'm so up and down
And I love what's not allowed
I was lost, now I see:
And now I'm growing old disgracefully

[bleep]

My progress with Baclofen

neva eva;1049880 wrote: ...
I hope that the sleep meds don't exacerbate forgetfullness!
...
(I can't remember if it was this thread?)

...

It would appear they do!

Barring any late entries, exacerbate has my vote.

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

Exacerbate is a good one for today. :goodjob:
I don't find that sleep meds exacerbate forgetfulness. The first night that I took Advil PM, I found myself still feeling a bit drugged in the morning, but 2 cups of coffee later, I was right as rain.
So, let me get this right, Nev. You're saying you don't want anything habit-forming (which I agree with, habit forming is scary, especially when it comes to sleep!), which is probably a lot of Rx drugs, nor do you want anything holistic? But wouldn't the holistic stuff be safe? That doesn't leave a lot of options! Normally I would suggest melatonin and valerian, but didn't someone (was it you?) say that one of those was contraindicated with bac? In any case, I don't find them to be much help with the sleep disturbances that bac causes. I did find the Advil PM to work well, so long as I didn't use it on consecutive nights. My body got used to it REALLY quickly. I still think xanax is the best. I've taken it off and on, on as needed basis, for a few years now and have never developed a dependency on it. I never got that, "I gotta take more of that!" feeling either. And I think bac would help keep it from becoming addictive anyway.
Maybe ask your doc. or even Dr. L about recommending something that is non-habit forming and safe that they could write a script for. I think the lack of good sleep exacerbates a lot of the other SEs.

The coffee and expensive booze was in bleep's thread, I think. No worries though, I weighed in on both topics. I haven't bought expensive coffee in awhile. I drink the free stuff at work (luckily it's Barnie's, so pretty decent), and whatever is on sale at the grocery store at home. I have stepped up my creamer though. I used to get the flavored International Delight stuff, but I found it to be TOO sweet. Recently they came out with the breve creamers, which use real milk and cream, and they are perfect. They add a little bit of flavor w/out being overly sweet. Now if only they'd come out with more flavors!

The expensive wine that I got from the wine clubs I would rarely ever drink, only for special occasions. Which is why I have so much of it left now! I'd get cheap wine to go with a week night dinner though, or just to drink for the heck of it (cocktails and good microbrews were my drinks of choice mainly though). I actually found the $3 Oak Leaf brand of wine at Wal Mart to be pretty darn good though, better than some much more expensive bottles.

Oooh, I'll have to check out your music selection when I get home (no access to YouTube at work).

So here's the latest on switch seeking. I know that most of my thread recently has been about SEs, and mostly about sleep (or lack thereof). This is just because Alcohol has been such a non issue for me lately!
But last night I was having some pasta for dinner, and the habit-based part of my brain suggested that a glass of red wine would go nicely with it. I thought about it for a few minutes, and then said why not. We'll see how this goes. I've been pondering going up to 180mgs next week, or to possibly start titrating back down. But I needed a way to kind of test it, as I'd been pretty easily AF for almost the last 2 weeks. Thoughts of AL were still there sometimes, but easily dismissed. But I needed to know that I wouldn't fall back into the same routine I'd started to before, with having a few drinks each weekend.
So I found a bottle of cab that someone else had opened, and there wasn't much left in it, only about half a glass. I was kinda bummed, because I knew I didn't want to bother opening another bottle. I took a sip after pouring it and thought that it was pretty good. I sat down with my dinner, and after 2 more sips between bites, I was suddenly really disgusted by the wine. The food was tasting so much better, I didn't want to keep polluting my palette with the wine. So I dumped the rest. I thought that was a pretty good test! I don't think I NEED to go up to 180, I feel pretty confident in my switch-ness. But I'll see how I feel about it come Sunday. Maybe I'll push the envelope for 1 more week just to be SURE.
I think it might be different if I had a drink that actually tasted good (and less like alcohol), like a really good cocktail. But I don't actually want a cocktail these days. It's not the same as having a glass of wine with dinner. But, if I did have a mixed drink, and it was something that I enjoyed the flavor of, I don't think that I would have a hard time finishing it. Not because of the alcohol in the drink, but because of the good flavor. Seems like I could have said that a little bit more concisely, but it's that time of day in which my brain is turning to mush. I'm trying out taking a mid day dose of piracetam to see if it helps, because coffee doesn't seem to do the trick in the afternoon!

[Isolde]

My progress with Baclofen

So, over the weekend, I kept trying to push the envelope. There was a method to my madness, though. I really wanted to make sure that I'm truly indifferent. So Friday night I again attempted to have a glass of wine with dinner. Poured a glass of sauvignon blanc, took a sip and then poured it out. Poured a glass of chardonnay, took a sip, and found it to be VERY mild, which meant drink-able. I managed to finish it with my dinner.
I didn't feel any different. No relaxed buzzy feeling, which I used to love. This is a good thing, because I had no desire to have more.
The next night I put the cocktail theory to the test (yes, that is a real scientific theory!). I made a rum and coke, w/ a particular kind of rum that I had really enjoyed a few months ago. When I tasted it, all I could taste was the alcohol. I added more coke. I did manage to finish it while watching a couple of True Blood episodes (that's an addiction I don't mind having!). I didn't really enjoy it though, didn't get the "Aaaaah" relaxation feeling, and couldn't have stomached the idea of having more.
Both nights were successes in my book. No need to continue trying to bother drinking at this point. That being said, I decided to go ahead and bump up to 180mgs on Sunday. As I mentioned in another thread (Karen's?), I took the last 20mg dose when I woke up in the middle of the night, around 2:30, hoping that it would help me sleep well through the rest of the night. It didn't.
I felt manic yesterday at work. I couldn't concentrate for shit. My brain would think about something I needed to do, and then promptly forget it. I'd get obsessed about something I wanted to look up online, and abandon work for awhile in order to go research it. I tried to read during my lunch break, and failed miserably. Lack of concentration was rampant all day long. The supreme body tensing was back. I'd damn near chewed through my mouth guard the night before. The ringing in the ears is absolutely deafening. I listen to internet radio while I work, and I kept having to turn it up to hear it over the ringing in my ears. So much so that I worried I was annoying my coworkers with it.
There is no way I can stay at this dose for a whole week, even though some of the SEs might abate somewhat. Some are so much worse though. Normally when I increase the dose, I get 2 nights of great sleep before the tossing and turning kicks in. Not so this time. I even took half a xanax last night which normally works so well for me. I definitely slept better, but I still kept waking up, which I don't normally do when I take it. I'm going to stay here for one more day before I go back to 160 for the rest of the week. After that, I'm going to start titrating down, by 10mgs every 3-4 days. I think I've gone high enough for it to stick this time.

Speaking of the issue of sleep, I have an appointment with my doctor at 9:30 this morning to see about getting something. I am going to try my damndest to get xanax. As I talked about over in serenity's thread, it's the thing that always works for me, even at a very low dose. Not only that, but I also don't even need my mouth guard the nights that I take it and don't get night sweats. Speaking of which, this was not the case last night. And I wholly attribute it to the 180mg dose. My dad gave me I think 8 pills back at the beginning of December... I still have 2 1/2 left. Obviously I'm not interested in abusing it. A point I'll make to my doc if he thinks that is why I'm asking for it. I want to take the smallest amount possible to get a good night's sleep and that's it.

Ok, that's the MWO-based updates.
It looks like I'll be able to get back in the gym really soon, and mostly w/out foot pain! After looking at my Xrays on Saturday, the specialist said that I'm only in stage 1 (yay!) and don't need surgery yet. This part makes no sense to me. I actually have to endure the pain and wait for it to get worse (which will involve the joint degenerating) before I should get surgery. Why not get surgery now and get the joint properly lined up while it is still all nice and healthy? Of course these things I didn't think about until I was out of her office!
She said that my Xrays made it look like I had low arches and that I should look into getting some inserts for my shoes and that the arch support should help to take some of the pressure off my joint. She said ideally she'd make orthotics for me, but that it's not covered by insurance and can be very expensive. So basically she said to just keep living in pain until it's so bad I need surgery. I don't think $15 Dr. Scholl's inserts from Walgreens are going to solve my issue.
I went to this place called the Good Feet Store. Awesome place. They took some ink prints of my feet, identified some strong pressure points (basically if I keep going the way that I am, I'll develop heel spurs in not too long! I watched my grandmother deal with them and have no desire to go through that!). So I actually ended up getting orthotics (and expensive ones), in the long run. But these are good for my whole feet, not just my joint. Walking around with them in my sneakers really does make the toe joint feel better! After I get used to them in about a week, I can go run! Whee! Still no chance of wearing high heels though
But I guess I can deal with that. The pain's not worth it at this point.
So that's the end of my foot update.
Back to your reguarly scheduled programming.

I'll let y'all know how the doctor appointment goes, off to get ready for that.

[bleep]

My progress with Baclofen

Nice update Is. It's a strange form of abstinence, just can't-be-bothered. White hairing it instead of white knuckling it, but in a good way for a change!