Hello all,
I've posted here and there but haven't really introduced myself. I do so today, because I am feeling very discouraged about my drinking and could sure use some support.
My history: I'm 51, WASP living in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I've been drinking regularly since I was about 19. What started as one beer per night at that age has progressed to a minimum of 4 or 5 PINTS per night now, with bi-or tri-weekly binges. I'm a "Functioning Alcoholic"...although my frequent binges are interfering with my work performance quite often now.
My drinking stepped up when I went through my divorce 15 years ago, leaving two young kids behind with their Mom, who has done everything in her power to make my life miserable since. She's done a good job of it.
I've suffered from anxiety for my entire life. Adopted at 6 months of age, I went through two foster families until being place with my 3rd Mother. Needless to say, I've had attachment issues with the women in my life...
Anyway, when my second wife kicked me out a few years ago, I started intensive therapy (Cognitive Behavioral) specifically for my drinking. It helped me to be starkly aware of my condition(s) but helped very little with my drinking. I've been on anti-anxiety meds (Xanax) and anti-depressants for years (Remeron now---but a previous Paxil junkie). Those have helped my anxiety, but not my drinking.
A couple years ago I stumbled across Ameisen's book. I didn't buy it until a couple weeks ago, but gleaned enough info from it to think that Baclofen might be a good idea. A couple months ago I finally had the guts to tell my family doctor (GP) that I'm a drunk and need his help. He had never heard of Baclofen being used for Alcoholism, but did a quick search on the net while I was in his office, and agreed to treat me with it. I ramped myself up to 90mg/day fairly quickly, but the side effects were so bad I cut back to 30mg for a few weeks. Now I'm back up to 50mg...aiming for 60 to 90 because at 90 I had virtually NO desire to drink.
So, coasting along at 50mg hasn't been that much fun either. I'm dizzy most of the day, my vision is often blurry and I'm getting aches and pains all over my body that make my lifelong Fibromyalgia seem mild. I'm still drinking, quite a lot...6 to 7 pints even, and suffer horrible hang-overs since taking the Baclofen. The self-inflicted aversion therapy hasn't helped me to drink less. But, enough to force me to take it easy the day after, drinking 2 to 3 pints tops (I drink only beer---IPA, my favorite).
50mg of Bac per day does enable me to limit my number of beers. When I'm home--ALONE---I can easily stop at 2 to 3 bottles of beer, but my biggest problem is that I can't stand being home alone, 3 months now since the third gal in my life left me, so I go to the local pub where I have developed some very good friendships. Having those friends has been a life-saver for me...filling my evenings with lots of laughs and happy repose from the void of my empty apartment.
My fiance, who left me 3 months ago, thinks she is "helping" me by leaving me, listening to the counsel of her friends, that leaving me is the best way to wake me up and straighten me out. But, on the contrary, it has made my drinking so much worse...which I have told her, but she uses that as more ammo for leaving me! I wish I could convince her otherwise? But no
If you have read this far in my posting, I do appreciate it. I would also very much appreciate your kind input and support. Despite the flame-wars that I have seen here, typical in all forums I think---and certainly human nature---of course, I see that there are lot of very genuine and caring people here with whom I would appreciate to continue associating and get to know. Please.
Kind regards and love to all. I welcome hearing from you.
Dab :h
I've posted here and there but haven't really introduced myself. I do so today, because I am feeling very discouraged about my drinking and could sure use some support.
My history: I'm 51, WASP living in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I've been drinking regularly since I was about 19. What started as one beer per night at that age has progressed to a minimum of 4 or 5 PINTS per night now, with bi-or tri-weekly binges. I'm a "Functioning Alcoholic"...although my frequent binges are interfering with my work performance quite often now.
My drinking stepped up when I went through my divorce 15 years ago, leaving two young kids behind with their Mom, who has done everything in her power to make my life miserable since. She's done a good job of it.
I've suffered from anxiety for my entire life. Adopted at 6 months of age, I went through two foster families until being place with my 3rd Mother. Needless to say, I've had attachment issues with the women in my life...
Anyway, when my second wife kicked me out a few years ago, I started intensive therapy (Cognitive Behavioral) specifically for my drinking. It helped me to be starkly aware of my condition(s) but helped very little with my drinking. I've been on anti-anxiety meds (Xanax) and anti-depressants for years (Remeron now---but a previous Paxil junkie). Those have helped my anxiety, but not my drinking.
A couple years ago I stumbled across Ameisen's book. I didn't buy it until a couple weeks ago, but gleaned enough info from it to think that Baclofen might be a good idea. A couple months ago I finally had the guts to tell my family doctor (GP) that I'm a drunk and need his help. He had never heard of Baclofen being used for Alcoholism, but did a quick search on the net while I was in his office, and agreed to treat me with it. I ramped myself up to 90mg/day fairly quickly, but the side effects were so bad I cut back to 30mg for a few weeks. Now I'm back up to 50mg...aiming for 60 to 90 because at 90 I had virtually NO desire to drink.
So, coasting along at 50mg hasn't been that much fun either. I'm dizzy most of the day, my vision is often blurry and I'm getting aches and pains all over my body that make my lifelong Fibromyalgia seem mild. I'm still drinking, quite a lot...6 to 7 pints even, and suffer horrible hang-overs since taking the Baclofen. The self-inflicted aversion therapy hasn't helped me to drink less. But, enough to force me to take it easy the day after, drinking 2 to 3 pints tops (I drink only beer---IPA, my favorite).
50mg of Bac per day does enable me to limit my number of beers. When I'm home--ALONE---I can easily stop at 2 to 3 bottles of beer, but my biggest problem is that I can't stand being home alone, 3 months now since the third gal in my life left me, so I go to the local pub where I have developed some very good friendships. Having those friends has been a life-saver for me...filling my evenings with lots of laughs and happy repose from the void of my empty apartment.
My fiance, who left me 3 months ago, thinks she is "helping" me by leaving me, listening to the counsel of her friends, that leaving me is the best way to wake me up and straighten me out. But, on the contrary, it has made my drinking so much worse...which I have told her, but she uses that as more ammo for leaving me! I wish I could convince her otherwise? But no
If you have read this far in my posting, I do appreciate it. I would also very much appreciate your kind input and support. Despite the flame-wars that I have seen here, typical in all forums I think---and certainly human nature---of course, I see that there are lot of very genuine and caring people here with whom I would appreciate to continue associating and get to know. Please.
Kind regards and love to all. I welcome hearing from you.
Dab :h
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