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    Formal hello from Dab's

    Hello all,

    I've posted here and there but haven't really introduced myself. I do so today, because I am feeling very discouraged about my drinking and could sure use some support.

    My history: I'm 51, WASP living in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I've been drinking regularly since I was about 19. What started as one beer per night at that age has progressed to a minimum of 4 or 5 PINTS per night now, with bi-or tri-weekly binges. I'm a "Functioning Alcoholic"...although my frequent binges are interfering with my work performance quite often now.

    My drinking stepped up when I went through my divorce 15 years ago, leaving two young kids behind with their Mom, who has done everything in her power to make my life miserable since. She's done a good job of it.

    I've suffered from anxiety for my entire life. Adopted at 6 months of age, I went through two foster families until being place with my 3rd Mother. Needless to say, I've had attachment issues with the women in my life...

    Anyway, when my second wife kicked me out a few years ago, I started intensive therapy (Cognitive Behavioral) specifically for my drinking. It helped me to be starkly aware of my condition(s) but helped very little with my drinking. I've been on anti-anxiety meds (Xanax) and anti-depressants for years (Remeron now---but a previous Paxil junkie). Those have helped my anxiety, but not my drinking.

    A couple years ago I stumbled across Ameisen's book. I didn't buy it until a couple weeks ago, but gleaned enough info from it to think that Baclofen might be a good idea. A couple months ago I finally had the guts to tell my family doctor (GP) that I'm a drunk and need his help. He had never heard of Baclofen being used for Alcoholism, but did a quick search on the net while I was in his office, and agreed to treat me with it. I ramped myself up to 90mg/day fairly quickly, but the side effects were so bad I cut back to 30mg for a few weeks. Now I'm back up to 50mg...aiming for 60 to 90 because at 90 I had virtually NO desire to drink.

    So, coasting along at 50mg hasn't been that much fun either. I'm dizzy most of the day, my vision is often blurry and I'm getting aches and pains all over my body that make my lifelong Fibromyalgia seem mild. I'm still drinking, quite a lot...6 to 7 pints even, and suffer horrible hang-overs since taking the Baclofen. The self-inflicted aversion therapy hasn't helped me to drink less. But, enough to force me to take it easy the day after, drinking 2 to 3 pints tops (I drink only beer---IPA, my favorite).

    50mg of Bac per day does enable me to limit my number of beers. When I'm home--ALONE---I can easily stop at 2 to 3 bottles of beer, but my biggest problem is that I can't stand being home alone, 3 months now since the third gal in my life left me, so I go to the local pub where I have developed some very good friendships. Having those friends has been a life-saver for me...filling my evenings with lots of laughs and happy repose from the void of my empty apartment.

    My fiance, who left me 3 months ago, thinks she is "helping" me by leaving me, listening to the counsel of her friends, that leaving me is the best way to wake me up and straighten me out. But, on the contrary, it has made my drinking so much worse...which I have told her, but she uses that as more ammo for leaving me! I wish I could convince her otherwise? But no

    If you have read this far in my posting, I do appreciate it. I would also very much appreciate your kind input and support. Despite the flame-wars that I have seen here, typical in all forums I think---and certainly human nature---of course, I see that there are lot of very genuine and caring people here with whom I would appreciate to continue associating and get to know. Please.

    Kind regards and love to all. I welcome hearing from you.
    Dab :h
    --------------------------------------------------
    Dab

    KOKO my friends! "Keep On Keeping On" your Baclofen journey.
    :h

    #2
    Formal hello from Dab's

    Hi Dab,

    Just wanted to :welcome: you here and thanks for sharing your story. I don't have much good advice other than the obvious and that is maybe you could TRY to drink less. Maybe you will be able to finally get to the point to quit. Stay positive and you should be proud of yourself that you are wanting to make a change about this. I know for my experience right now, my life is so content without drinking and that's nice. I too, was adopted and the worse case scenario into a VERY dysfunctional family and in some ways they still are.

    Anywho.....Good luck Dab and please stay strong. There are alot great people here and will give you lots of support, check out the chat room too. Keep us posted....

    Lots of hugs,
    Janet
    AF Since May 2nd 2012

    Comment


      #3
      Formal hello from Dab's

      Welcome aboard, Dab! I see you already posted on the side effects thread, but I'll add that I, too, had the strange muscle pains. These all went away when I stopped drinking alcohol. I have also found that dramatically increasing my water intake helped as well.

      Since you're already on powerful anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs, your experience with baclofen may be different. There was another thread where someone mentioned that Cymbalta seemed to negate the effects of baclofen, so it seems likely that there's some correlation between some ADs and bac. Hopefully your doctor is aware of all this, and if not, it would be a good starting point for some research. Maybe the severity of your SEs is due to the drug "cocktail" you're taking.

      Keep us informed on your progress!

      -Moglor

      Comment


        #4
        Formal hello from Dab's

        Welcome Dabhar,
        Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you've had it tough.
        I wish you well with BAC.
        Full English
        1st started BAC 17/4/10 - got to 60MG. Stopped 28th May due to SE's.
        2nd try of BAC started 6/9/10. Reached my switch at 210MG on 8/12/10. I weigh 68KG.
        Have been Al Free since 19th November 2010. Extremely thankful and grateful.

        Comment


          #5
          Formal hello from Dab's

          Welcome, Dab.
          Your story rings true for many. I too, think you should at least try being totally abstinent for a time as soon as possible. It is a matter of trying to use all the tools you have rather than relying just on the baclofen which really only works on the cravings and anxiety. It does not substitute for executive decision making or discipline, both of which should also be used.
          You, reasonably, are very fixated on your most recent breakup. That is understandable, but is truly a side issue for you right now. You do not drink because your girl left you. You drink because you are alcohol dependent. You drank when she was there, now you drink when she is not. You must take responsibility for this yourself, as hard as that may be. Even should you succeed there is no guarantee that your relationship will survive this. I say this with the humility of experience (divorced after 29 year marriage because I drank and did not stop in time).
          With respect to side effects they do generally go away in time. It took me a few months to titrate slowly up to 100 mg/day in divided doses. I can certainly relate to the dizzyness and other symptoms which do go away after a few weeks at your Alcohol Free. Be patient with yourself. The good news is that you did not have cravings at 90 mg. You will do it again but try to "white knuckle" it for the time being.
          Rehabbed rats showed drug seeking behavior under 3 main conditions:
          1. exposure to the drug (The drink you are having with friends after work)
          2. exposure to the location of prior use ( your pub in your case)
          3. Stress. ( you are having a lot of it right now.

          At least for a time I suggest you find something to do besides going out to the pub with those friends.
          Can you speak with at least one of them and tell them your problem and ask if you can do something together which does not involve alcohol. You will eventually be able to go there. My nurse told me that eventually I would be so neutral about alcohol that I could be the bar tender and the designated driver! I believe that is true but it takes time. Old habits change slowly.
          Good luck and welcome to MWO.
          Sunny

          Comment


            #6
            Formal hello from Dab's

            Hi, Dab.
            I can relate to a lot of what you shared, and I'm glad you shared it. Thank you.
            I had debilitating SEs initially too. I stayed at 30m/day for about 6 weeks? (Terrible with keeping track, so can't be totally sure.) And suffered. ugh. Crampy muscles, pins and needles in feet and hands, vision issues.... the list is annoying so I won't continue.
            But! I have started going up, and have increased to 100mg/day over the last couple of weeks and the side effects have lessened dramatically. (Some of them are, dare I say it, a little fun!) Less sleep, but I sleep hard. Mood generally better. Anxiety has plummeted and exercise is a whole new and exhilirating experience.
            Still have some pins and needles in hands and feet, and sometimes I'm just flat out stoned. (Something I haven't felt in 20 or more years but is not entirely unpleasant. ha.)
            It's been a fairly stressful week, with lots of family and activities to organize...I expected some negative feedback about the way I look, or am acting, from the people who know me best. Quite the opposite happened. Several family members took me aside to tell me how impressed they were with how calm etc... I was. I guess in previous years I was a little volatile when cooking for a houseful of guests. Who knew?
            I'm still drinking, and there was a point when I drank even more than what I normally could, and suffered the consequences. (I wish aversion therapy or CBT worked a little in this regard. for me, I mean.) But I'm definitely drinking less now, and even on days when I over do it, I wake up the next day ready to go.
            So once again, I am full of hope about this experiment. I hope you'll hang in there and keep posting.
            With you in spirit for the journey.

            Comment


              #7
              Formal hello from Dab's

              So a sincere "Hello Dabs "
              Started Baclofen 3/9/10 Hit my switch at 250mg on 21/11/10 3.125mg/Kg

              Comment


                #8
                Formal hello from Dab's

                Hi there

                I just want to say I love all you guys. Well, that's it.
                BACLOFENISTA

                baclofenuk.com

                http://www.theendofmyaddiction.org





                Olivier Ameisen

                In addiction, suppression of symptoms should suppress the disease altogether since addiction is, as he observed, a "symptom-driven disease". Of all "anticraving medications used in animals, only one - baclofen - has the unique property of suppressing the motivation to consume cocaine, heroin, alcohol, nicotine and d-amphetamine"

                Comment


                  #9
                  Formal hello from Dab's

                  Me, too, otter.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Formal hello from Dab's

                    Much thanks

                    Thanks all for your kind input. Sorry for my slow response...major work issues and lots of evening drinking...

                    I'm taking 50mg/day now, going to up that to 60 in the next few days. At 50mg I find that I have the freedom/strength to choose to drink or not. Have been choosing to drink simply because I like the evening break and companionship at the pub. The absolute compulsion to drink, however, at just 50mg/day is gone, and that is an amazing and wonderful experience.

                    I picked up Oliver Ameisen's book the other day. What an amazing story. I'm just at the point in the book when he first heard about Baclofen from a newspaper clipping sent to him by a friend, but he lost it, assuming he had spilt liquor all over it and the cleaning lady threw it out. For those who have not read his story, I heartily recommend doing so.

                    Other than that, my fiance and I are drifting apart. Turns out my drinking wasn't REALLY the major issue. Several others issues were even more influential to the breakup, like her not really liking me dividing my attention between her and my kids (who don't live with me).That and some major cultural disagreements (she's Middle-Eastern).

                    Anyway, thank you so much for your kind support. I do appreciate it. Y'all take care. :h

                    Dab
                    --------------------------------------------------
                    Dab

                    KOKO my friends! "Keep On Keeping On" your Baclofen journey.
                    :h

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Formal hello from Dab's

                      Was so thrilled and encouraged today to hear from my GP (Family Doctor) that my Liver Enzymes are only at 45..something. Dr. Ameisen was at 300 just before he started on Baclofen! My GP told me that numbers into the THOUSANDS were not uncommon for alcoholics, like me.

                      So thats my gift for the day. Thank you for looking here. Im wondering...what is YOUR gift for the day. Perhaps I will start a new thread about that. Positive input is good for us. We need it so desperately.

                      Cheers friends. Take care.
                      Dab
                      --------------------------------------------------
                      Dab

                      KOKO my friends! "Keep On Keeping On" your Baclofen journey.
                      :h

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Formal hello from Dab's

                        Have increased my dosage to 70 mg/day now. A little vertigo, but no other significant side-effects. Drinking today took EFFORT....almost a bother to find the corkscrew for the wine that my boss gave to me for Xmas. Imagine that, my friends...feeling it an EFFORT to drink! THAT is wonderful progress. Thank God for Baclofen and for Dr. Amesien.
                        --------------------------------------------------
                        Dab

                        KOKO my friends! "Keep On Keeping On" your Baclofen journey.
                        :h

                        Comment

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