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[Lowcountryman]

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And moms..

[Seethepony]

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Oh yeah! Milfs! Thank god for Milfs! Without them, no man would ever get their kid into kindergarten in time. And some moral confusion is better than coffee, first thing in the morning.

[Seethepony]

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Not being sexist or anything. :goodjob:

[mikeone]

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Lo0p;1036763 wrote: That's right.


Intelligent guide to physique and love making
How to touch her soul and make her come using only your eyes



My services are highly sought after and currently I'm only accepting new clients that are "friends of friends". You might think I'd tire of it after a while but actually the opposite is true. It is a release for me. There's nothing more cathartic than this moment:

You are poised, towering over you lover. All they want is for you to show them that you are physically stronger than them but then you let your soul completely envelop them. And that weight is heavier than your body ever could be. You see that twinge of hopelessness in their eyes but you ravage them anyway because everything is in it's right place and that is what they want.

I need it just as much as my clients do. But it is only a slight respite from my life as a now famous author because all the wives know who I really am. Lo0p is my pen name. Evan the Pool Boy is what all the husbands in the neighborhood know me by. All the wives give copies of my book to their husbands as gifts.

And you admit you're a drunk while doing all that. Gimme a break!

-Mike

[Ne/Neva Eva]

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Lowcountryman;1037949 wrote: the ugly ones have all become pretty.

Bac-goggles replacing beer-goggles? :H Glad you're not being exclusive. Ugly/old women like attention, too! The girls? They think you're a dirty old man. sorry.

STP, as usual, :H:H:H. I'll give my gf, who helps out at her daughter's preschool, a heads up... Look for the disheveled guy who is slightly abashed, a little bac-dazed, and coffee-less. He's thinking naughty thoughts.

No sexism, I don't think! We're not left out of the equation. I do hope you're resisting the temptation to grope, or stare openly at a 15yo. The new guy at the wine store checked me out today, and then carded me! lol. not flirting, alas, just following procedure...to card everyone under 30! I'll take what I can get.

I've been quite the middle-aged-American-woman-cliche this weekend. Argued and made up with husband. Only to revisit it all several hours/beers later. Took a toothbrush to the bathroom grout, very cathartic... Nice dinner. in front of the tv (grrr) while staring at the computer.
Sunday morning run, (really my dog is worn out!) visit to farmer's market, followed by retail therapy with boyfriend, groceries, gym, wine store, (bought A decent bottle), made myself a healthy lunch. All before 2pm. Who does all that, really?
Bac and booze related:
I'm still at 200mg/day, which has become the new 120. It's day 7, but I'm going up to 210 today. It's time to get off the merry-go-round. Still, lessons learned from recent experience and the experiences of others shared today, I'll go slowly. It's still hard not to take more, believe it or not.
SEs are not particularly noticeable. Apparently I woke up around 1am this morning, swearing loudly. :H I don't remember the expletives, and he didn't know why I was so ticked off, but I do remember being upset that I hadn't even made it until 2:30am. Then again, I went to bed early, exhausted and relatively sober. Heeding advice, I returned to bed right away, and slept for 5 more hours. I still had the experience of being awake and dreaming at the same time, but could remind myself in the moment that I was fantasizing. The sleep is profound when it happens and I often wake up with pins and needles because I've slept on my arm, or my leg is bent awkwardly.
Afternoon sleepiness can feel overwhelming if I'm not really busy. But it's not narcolepsy, which is what I feared in the beginning. It is definitely manageable, atm.

Half a bottle of wine and two beers for the entire day yesterday. Unheard of, especially under duress, resentful and bored.

I type all this after having had an epiphany yesterday about why I get so sick after posting thoughts on here. I realized it's not the train-wreck that is my life and my mind. It's not the drunken stupidity, believe it or not. It's the pathetic vanity and insecurity. Out there for everyone to see and see through.

I appreciate that though it's inane or trite, there is some value to sharing a story. And I like to write. So I'll post this and regret it until tomorrow, when I'll post again and then have something new to regret. ha.

p.s. :H Mike, I know, right? Don't worry, you don't have to be a lothario or a body builder in order to find a way out. How's that going by the way?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I am humbled by the collective wit, intellect and wisdom to be found here. It's astounding, really. I'm also humbled by the patience and kindness expressed by people here. There is depth and breadth that I haven't any experience with.
I've just finished reading the responses to Happyfeet, and his own in return. It reminds me how much I have to learn, how off-base I can be when I don't give thought to my own responses... I know that soul-sucking despair. But I really just wanted to reach out and hug him.
I posted the previous knowing it's not particularly profound, or even entertaining. Still, I wish I'd found something like it when I started out here. Schooled in 12 step, I looked for differences and similarities and found an awful lot of differences. I appreciate the fact that I've been allowed to muddle around, learn something, be inspired, and continue to contribute.
We still all have a common...problem. :H And a solution. yeehaw!
xo peeps.
:h

[Seethepony]

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Hey Ne, I can't remember what I was googling before I stumbled into this gem of an online magazine but I thought it was too good not to share...

Modern Drunkard Magazine

And in case you ever wondered what it's like to drink an entire bottle of absinthe:

Modern Drunkard Magazine

It's educational!

[taw]

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How are you NE? Did hubby order bac yet?

[Lo0p]

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neva eva;1038729 wrote: p.s. :H Mike, I know, right? Don't worry, you don't have to be a lothario or a body builder in order to find a way out.

Slow down there :bat

I've had less than 10 girlfriends in my entire life so I can't really qualify as a lothario (and, yes, I did have to look that up )

And my personal goal is to look and feel as good as I possibly can while spending the least amount of time I need to in order to achieve it. I exercise 2 - 2 1/2 hours a week. Name me a bodybuilder that only exercises 2 1/2 hours a week.

:EMOTICONOFBIGTONGUESTICKINGOUTATNEVAEVA:

And Mike...I'm not a drunk, and it was just a fictional story.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

STP, very funny. Did you come across that before or after you googled "alcoholism cure?" :H Having followed your train of thought in some of your other comments, I couldn't help but wonder if I should infer that my post was a little rambling, perhaps drunken. Yes, and no. I am too verbose, I know. But that was sort of the point of the second post. Some of us are lit majors, and chicks (at least this one) like the stories...

Taw, I'm doing really well. Trying to limit my MWO time, since I keep dreaming about you people. Last night it was Is and sunnyv in my dream-state thingy. ha! And as to the other question, grrrr. nuff said.

I dashed out of work today to make the 6:15 yoga class in an effort to break the cycle... And find some more sleep! I was late and missed it. But I went! The gym is more crowded in the evening than in the day. Who knew? I can't WAIT to go tomorrow evening. Might even work out in the big-boy room. The one with nary a pink ball, or stretchy band in sight. We'll see.

I also applied for a job at the gym today. It's part time and a no-brainer, as a 'fitness counselor' (stick info in a computer for the newbies, and set the machines up for them.) But I want more of those people in my life, though not the ones that look like a celery stick but have enormous boobs.

I am very, very nervous about going up again. Especially given the recent posts on happyfeet's thread. All that bad stuff happened around 240. To men who outweigh me by double, in one case. And a scared Ne is a dramatic Ne. And I really like the way I feel right now. But the goal hasn't been met, so onward and upward. 210 today and tomorrow. 220 for the rest of the week.

Lo0p, I know. Glad you set the record straight. I was not impugning your character or your integrity. Having a little fun at your expense. Poor Mike was seriously put out, I think. :H (He can't take bac, ftr.)
And a half-hearted nyah back at you. I am sorry if you were really offended.

I got a pm from the guy in the other forum that he wanted to work on his anxiety issues, so he didn't think bac was for him. and :H

[Ne/Neva Eva]

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I lost the radio interview, the one with the really GREAT Peter Gabriel song on it.
Can someone direct me?

[taw]

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It is on my "trainwreck" thread...page six....I think from grommet....I just listened yesterday...great!!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

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tx.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

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Lo0p;1039480 wrote: Posting and responding to MWO stuff hasn't been one of my strong points lately. But I know you all forgive me. :blush:

I, for one, took it personally. :H Glad you're par.tic.i.pating again. Especially since Ig is still awol. (grrrr. dude! hullllooooo)

I'm still having the weird dreaming thing. Woke up this morning thinking I'd left all kinds of drama spray-painted across MWO, only to find it was just a dream. phew.

I just got a frantic call from my boss and have to go into work this morning. It's incredibly...liberating to be able to just do what needs to be done without the haze of AL.

Taw, was it Jar of Hearts? The Katy Perry song? ugh.
Serenity, how goes it?
Rusty, HOLA!? (why do you love abs more than us???) I hope you're experiencing a little Eat, Pray, Love. At least the eat part. And, um, the love part. (you can do the praying while doing the loving...ha!)

Love you peeps.

[Rusty]

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Hola, Buenos Tardes!

Quick check in. NE, I am a regular member of ABS and have been since May, just because of the support I get from people there. I wish I had time to read and post more. Sorry...working 14 hours a day in Barcelona until Thursday.