Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Progress thread for ne

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Progress thread for ne

    Today marks month 10!

    DrunkAndTiredInFLA;1215512 wrote: I would like to remind you that you also had SE's that you had not heard of way back when. Please, in the future, remember this when you are posting to others. Thanks. =)

    On another note, what a great story to read. It's nice to know that many people have tried baclofen and gave up or didn't take it correctly the first time. We are always in such a rush. Aren't we? NE, it made me laugh to hear that you had went from 60mgs to 90mgs. I, too, did the same thing, and didn't even realize it until later.
    We have a lot more than that in common, DandT. Especially now. Getting through to the other side is, in some way, all that matters. I'm glad you persevered despite what you felt was hostile intent on my part.
    Hugs, sister. Keep on. It just gets better.

    ;1203955 wrote: i wish you would delete it. unlike you, i have never, ever signed of with my real name. but now it's there, for the whole effen world to see: i am rudy b,
    If you had read the actual post, and not just Bruun's response to the post, you would have seen that I had ALREADY DELETED your name. And that I made no reference, at all, NONE in fact, to which username I was responding. And given the fact that you used my given name (and did not bother to ask, or later delete it, even after I pointed out that it bothered me) on a completely different thread, completely unrelated to this one, I feel quite confident that no one would have ever made the connection if you yourself had not.

    Furthermore, I have posted in several places several times that I did not want my given name used. I use it sparingly, and mostly delete it soon after using it, when trying to make a point. I would think that reading the rest of the forum would actually have helped in this regard. Just as it would have to realize that the Undies thread, which you thought so interesting given your then interest in exploring your own undergarment habits, is actually a group from Australia. Down Under. Get it?

    Finally, given the extremely personal and detailed information you share on your thread (we know what size you are, from thong to bra) and what music/brands/politics you enjoy, the very details of every single moment and every single day, with only the very recent exception of last weekend, that you would be alarmed at the use of your first name is simply funny. One does not need that to pick you out of a line up. But as I mentioned to you many, many months ago, it is extremely unlikely that anyone who cares would find you here, unless there is reason to do so.

    The hyperbole and detachment from reality should not shock me, anymore than the thread itself does, given your insistence on diverting from the very heart of your own truth to your own self.

    Sadly, I know that you are unlikely to see this, given your penchant for avoiding much that does not relate directly to you and some parody of popularity you feel you need to continue here. And I am not brave enough, or rather stupid enough, to leave it and let it all fly. The point is not, after all, you. Or me. Or anyone else we wrap in our webs. The point is to avoid the web-making and offer solace to all in the way we know now to be a very powerful way out of hell. Baclofen. It is all about the baclofen, Rudy, despite our insistence that it is something else.

    ;1203960 wrote:
    (i realize i am unnecessarily outing myself there, but i am just so shaken to see my name in this very public place that has been a safe haven for me on my journey to freedom, used in a snarky lash-back reaction to something that was not even a crime.)
    Oh, no. That was not snarky. This is.

    Reggie;1215426 wrote:
    Aint THAT the truth!!!!!

    Hey Ne if ya in contact with Beatle send her my love and this tune for her

    Great post by the way NE ... as always you hit the Keyboard and MAGIC happens :l
    :l back at you, of course. I hope beatle got the message!

    I don't know about the magic this morning. oops. I took your comments out of context, Reg, but rest assured, this will all be deleted soon. Though I did it by accident, I thought it was really funny.

    Comment


      Progress thread for ne

      My uncle is dying on the other coast. He's too young, it has been very sudden, and it's very sad, as you might imagine.
      My family is gathering as I write to spend some time with him before he goes. I debated, frankly, about joining them. The expense! The time!! The family drama!!!
      I had a moment when I realized that it will be the best dollars I've spent all year. whew. So glad I realized that. And of course, the rest...it goes without saying.
      But more to the point, I've been in the place all day of being in AWE that I can go, and be present and counted among the people who love him so dearly. A year ago we couldn't have afforded it. A year ago I was on HDB. (ugh!) And I was still a (pretty hopeful) hopeless drunk. A year ago I was still ashamed and an alcoholic and I would have never been able to share a hotel room, or maybe even stay in the same hotel!

      I could not do this without baclofen. I have no need to worry about meetings, about whether or not everyone will be drinking, (they will) or getting very drunk (they will!) or what I'm going to do or say or feel about it.
      I don't care. About their drinking, about my drinking, about drinking or about booze at all. Hallelujah. The chorus continues to sing. So does the fat lady. And g* d* I'm still dancing about it. Even right now. Especially right now.

      Comment


        Progress thread for ne

        I'm so sorry Ne, and I think you should do everything possible to be there if you love him so much. You only have one opportunity to do this specific thing and if you can do it, do it.

        Comment


          Progress thread for ne

          Thanks, B. I'm packing my long undies as we cross-post. (WTH is up with the fact that it's colder there than here???)

          Comment


            Progress thread for ne

            I'm sorry to hear this too. Have safe travels, Ne. :l
            This Princess Saved Herself

            Comment


              Progress thread for ne

              San Diego is not the weather panacea everyone thinks it is. It's foggy all year round. so even if its 75F it can be overcast and moist out. But being by the ocean causes this, it also causes the weather to be more mellow than it is inland. So people like that, I guess. There are alot of military here so I hear people complain about SD weather alot in the dog park. They're from everywhere in the US, and they're all disgruntled in the summer because it's not warm and sunny all the time. Hilarious.

              Not sure you'll need long johns but always good to have them just in case. I wear leg warmers under my jeans all the damn time. They are a miracle!

              Comment


                Progress thread for ne

                As you know, I froze my fanny off in San Diego, Bruun.

                Update:
                11 months since indifference! :disco:

                I haven't been updating regularly for two reasons: There's not much to say. I don't drink against my will at all, ever, anymore. My life is full! And time is tight when life is full!

                But there have been some changes recently. I started titrating back up a little while ago for three reasons:
                • I might have been having thoughts about drinking.
                • I heard from two people who went off of baclofen after indifference and relapsed.I am really struggling with ADD again, and think going up might help.Oh! and I want to quit smoking and think going up might help. (Ok. 4 reasons. I can still count. )

                The long version:

                I am about to start a really demanding semester, and my ADD (which I wasn't sure I had, but I DO! dammit) kicked in. The increase in anxiety was palpable and I know how to fix that, I think. We'll see and I'll let you know.

                I'm at 200mg now, up from about 120/140mg where I was for at least a couple of months. The increases are pretty unnoticeable. I still get some SEs, especially with this last 20mg bump up. Fortunately they're the good ones. Less sleep, better sex, more focus (long may that last!)

                I took a nap yesterday and had one of those experiences where I slept briefly but very deeply. I had a dream that was real-like and woke up completely discombobulated. Then I had a good chuckle. Ah, yes. I remember that well.
                I also woke up this morning and was in that weird dream/wake place and had my first alcohol-related dream in months, maybe ever. I could vividly picture myself on my couch, the cold comfort of a cold beer next to me on the table, and the next one sweating a pool of water underneath the table. (wouldn't want anyone to see me drinking two at a time, would I? )

                That was pretty alarming! But I know, for sure, the remedy for that. Which is another reason I went up. I thought maybe I was thinking about booze. Not craving. Not lovingly wishing for one. Just that it might be fun to get drunk. I know I don't like to get drunk, so I wasn't really sure what that was about...But I know the remedy! So up I went.
                Just to be clear, I had a beer on New Year's Eve. Didn't want another. But I definitely wanted to get a little buzzed and 'fit in'. pfffft. Fit in with what? I don't play that anymore, and I don't miss it. I wasn't really enjoying the company of the people at the party, and we all know the remedy for that! Get drunk with 'em! It makes everyone seem charming and fun. pffffft.

                Finally, I followed up with a couple of people who used to be here and aren't anymore. Both titrated off of baclofen after reaching indifference. They both relapsed. One of them suffering some pretty debilitating consequences, professionally and personally, after putting his/her life back together. S/he is white knuckling it and having a tough go. This person doesn't (and didn't) really want to participate here...
                The other was never, ever going to drink again. S/he was absolutely determined to live life unfettered by alcohol-obsession including attending AA for that purpose. I feel the same way. That person is now in AA and on low-dose-bac. This person says the bac works, and is thankful for that. I'm not sure why the change of heart related to the support group, or why s/he hasn't been back here. I hope I'll hear...

                The bottom line is that I'm comfortable enough with the safety of high-dose-bac to keep taking it. The science shows it's safe enough. And I'm completely uncomfortable, in fact will do anything to avoid, a return to life as I knew it. Taking this pill was the opposite of taking the easy way out...I had no idea I was so determined, so willing to go to any lengths, physically, mentally and spiritually, to get well. But I was and still am.

                I'm also in therapy with someone who was the only good therapist I had the last time I was in rehab (6 years ago.) We don't talk about bac or alcohol, for the most part. We talk about living, growing, being well. She no longer practices with the state-run alcoholism program, and practices mindfulness, so we're pretty simpatico.
                I'm practicing meditation, which is taking me to places I didn't know existed, and is infinitely boring and difficult. But beautiful and I love it. I joined the only meditation group in the area, am actively seeking a local teacher, and have been challenged by two people I respect to go for a retreat. I am hoping to do it in March.
                I am also exercising and doing yoga pretty regularly.
                My husband and I have made the decision to actively come out about our experience in 3D world. We'll start with a couple of things, and I'll update as it progresses. I'm likely to need help, advice and support, as my efforts in this realm have not been very...helpful for other people.

                My diet is crap. And I keep forgetting when and how much baclofen I've taken. I've also got the dropsies again. I can't wait for that to wear off. And I am actively trying to figure out a way to quit smoking. This is difficult when one was able to take a pill to stop an addiction, only to be left with another addiction...Maybe going up will help.

                Peace peeps! More next month...One year! wow!!!

                Comment


                  Progress thread for ne

                  Hey Ne,
                  A while back, you said you'd quit taking Adderall. Did it stop helping? Or did you think you were not ADD and therefore didn't need it?

                  Comment


                    Progress thread for ne

                    Hi Ne

                    Based on everything I've read (which is, like you, nearly everything), I think you are right to go back up. Better safe than sorry.

                    It will be interesting to compare the SEs (if any) you experience going up while (whilst?) not drinking, compared to the first time around.

                    I imagine you have discussed this with Dr L...any words of wisdom from the good doctor which you can share on the neva eva ending "maintenance dose" versus "switch dose" debate?

                    Lastly, I applaud whatever headway you can make in the 3D world. I think its a very logical next step. Bac works and alcoholics need to know and doctors need to both know and know how to use it. Its been said many times around here in the past but its worth saying again...there is nothing wrong (in the US) with off-label use if a physician believes he can help (and not harm) his patient.


                    Cass
                    With profound appreciation to Dr Olivier Ameisen for his brilliant insight and courageous determination

                    Comment


                      Progress thread for ne

                      There is a serious shortage of Adderall right now. It might be best not to depend on that. But diet might have a lot to do with ADD getting worse. The ADHD Research Centre in the Netherlands found that in the majority of diagnosed cases in children, the kids were really suffering from a food sensitivity. The NPR covered it. Study: Diet May Help ADHD Kids More Than Drugs : NPR

                      My niece was diagnosed as a child. Now she is 30 and she swears that her symptoms were do to a reaction to food dyes. She is careful to avoid dyes and especially red and yellow colors.

                      I'm with you on being past the point of thinking that being drunk is fun, but being with other people who were tipsy used to be fun when I was drinking. In social situations, being sober is a two-pronged disadvantage. I don't have the lubrication to be easily social myself, and drunk people seem pretty disgusting to me.
                      Ginger



                      You are here:
                      sigpic

                      Comment


                        Progress thread for ne

                        Cassander;1239822 wrote:

                        Lastly, I applaud whatever headway you can make in the 3D world. I think its a very logical next step. Bac works and alcoholics need to know and doctors need to both know and know how to use it. Its been said many times around here in the past but its worth saying again...there is nothing wrong (in the US) with off-label use if a physician believes he can help (and not harm) his patient.


                        Cass
                        I am curious as to how you feel that Doctors will gain the knowledge of "how to use Bac"? There is no one sure dosage or titration schedule to use it - from what I have seen, the medical industry in North America is not even talking about baclofen being a treatment for alcoholism so as far as I can tell, baclofen becoming a mainstream treatment for alcoholism is not anywhere close to being being put into the hands of doctors.
                        Unfortunately until someone in the medical field takes this on and does years of studies, baclofen will not advance any further than it is today.
                        Of course, I could be totally wrong. I don't tend to expend all my free time and energy obsessing over baclofen.

                        Comment


                          Progress thread for ne

                          Pronoia2012;1239818 wrote: Hey Ne,
                          A while back, you said you'd quit taking Adderall. Did it stop helping? Or did you think you were not ADD and therefore didn't need it?
                          It completely stopped working. At all. I could still feel that something was going on (heart beating a little bit) but it otherwise it was absolutely useless. I'll start a thread about it one of these days, since others have brought it up, too. And Terryk (of course) found a study about bac and amphetamines.

                          Cassander;1239822 wrote:
                          Based on everything I've read (which is, like you, nearly everything), I think you are right to go back up. Better safe than sorry.

                          It will be interesting to compare the SEs (if any) you experience going up while (whilst?) not drinking, compared to the first time around.

                          I imagine you have discussed this with Dr L...any words of wisdom from the good doctor which you can share on the neva eva ending "maintenance dose" versus "switch dose" debate?
                          Yeah, it is a good thing to go up, I think, and explore more later. But I've been up and down and all around since February.
                          'Whilst' is British. That's not the modern English the rest of us use. (a little humor, folks...I try. It's lame, I know.) I pretty much experience SEs when I change. They just aren't that noticeable. And forbid I ever have to suffer through bac/booze again. THAT was miserable.
                          And nope, I haven't talked to Dr. L about it. Not since he told me and so many others to stay up in the switch realm. No way, no how I'm taking 300mg/day. Unless, of course, that's what I need to do.


                          GingerDust;1239863 wrote: But diet might have a lot to do with ADD getting worse.
                          ...
                          I'm with you on being past the point of thinking that being drunk is fun, but being with other people who were tipsy used to be fun when I was drinking. In social situations, being sober is a two-pronged disadvantage. I don't have the lubrication to be easily social myself, and drunk people seem pretty disgusting to me.
                          Thanks so much for that link. I got the study and the results are VERY compelling. Now to figure out what the elimination diet is, or the Feingold diet, which seems to be the gold standard, without shelling out more beans. And just when I've pretty much gone vegetarian for good...I hope I can mesh the two. btw, I dread it. I am not a dieter. :upset:

                          Road to Recovery;1239880 wrote:
                          I am curious as to how you feel that Doctors will gain the knowledge of "how to use Bac"? There is no one sure dosage or titration schedule to use it - from what I have seen, the medical industry in North America is not even talking about baclofen being a treatment for alcoholism so as far as I can tell, baclofen becoming a mainstream treatment for alcoholism is not anywhere close to being being put into the hands of doctors.
                          Docs are already gaining that knowledge, much like we are! There is a pretty sure way to do it. Take the pills. If you hit a bump, take it easy. If you hit a wall, go around it. If you can't go around it, well... It's much like the other meds used to treat brain chemistry, or even muscle spasticity. That's what they do when they start bac. They run into similar problems and they're not drinking. The BIG difference is that there are other meds to treat spasticity, or depression. But we've only got bac...so far.

                          They are definitely talking. Absolutely. There's a new patent for slow release bac. (Who knows when that will hit and how much it will cost!!!) And some other new bac-related patents about formulas. There're studies on arbaclofen, or R-baclofen related to autism. Lots and lots and lots going on in the bac-world. Including mainstream docs who are giving it a shot. I'm actually (hold your breath!) optimistic! (a shock, I know. )


                          This really made me chuckle:
                          Road to Recovery;1239880 wrote:
                          I don't tend to expend all my free time and energy obsessing over baclofen.
                          hmmm. Yes. Well. I consider it light reading to spend hours on the internet looking at baclofen related stuff. Obsession? ...Maybe. :H But it's better than my old one. Ya' know?

                          :l and thanks peeps. I'm going to step over to Holistic and see if there's any info on elimination dieting. (doesn't that just sound awful?)

                          Comment


                            Progress thread for ne

                            Ne/Neva Eva;1239919 wrote:


                            Docs are already gaining that knowledge, much like we are! There is a pretty sure way to do it. Take the pills. If you hit a bump, take it easy. If you hit a wall, go around it. If you can't go around it, well... It's much like the other meds used to treat brain chemistry, or even muscle spasticity. That's what they do when they start bac. They run into similar problems and they're not drinking. The BIG difference is that there are other meds to treat spasticity, or depression. But we've only got bac...so far.

                            They are definitely talking. Absolutely. There's a new patent for slow release bac. (Who knows when that will hit and how much it will cost!!!) And some other new bac-related patents about formulas. There're studies on arbaclofen, or R-baclofen related to autism. Lots and lots and lots going on in the bac-world. Including mainstream docs who are giving it a shot. I'm actually (hold your breath!) optimistic! (a shock, I know. )


                            This really made me chuckle:

                            hmmm. Yes. Well. I consider it light reading to spend hours on the internet looking at baclofen related stuff. Obsession? ...Maybe. :H But it's better than my old one. Ya' know?

                            :l and thanks peeps. I'm going to step over to Holistic and see if there's any info on elimination dieting. (doesn't that just sound awful?)
                            Ah NE, I can always count on you to prove me wrong So with that, I am just going to crawl back into my hole until NE draws me back out.
                            Good luck everyone - don't stop the fight.
                            xoxo

                            Comment


                              Progress thread for ne

                              Not wrong, Road. You just don't have the obsession-bac or booze. And that is a good thing.

                              Comment


                                Progress thread for ne

                                Road to Recovery;1239880 wrote: I am curious as to how you feel that Doctors will gain the knowledge of "how to use Bac"? There is no one sure dosage or titration schedule to use it - from what I have seen, the medical industry in North America is not even talking about baclofen being a treatment for alcoholism so as far as I can tell, baclofen becoming a mainstream treatment for alcoholism is not anywhere close to being being put into the hands of doctors. Unfortunately until someone in the medical field takes this on and does years of studies, baclofen will not advance any further than it is today. Of course, I could be totally wrong. I don't tend to expend all my free time and energy obsessing over baclofen.
                                Hi Road

                                I wouldn't say you are totally wrong. Here's my one cent's worth. (Worth half as much as Ne's views).

                                In addition to Dr Levin, there are numerous pdocs and others prescribing bac in the US. Not a day passes (hardly) on this board that someone new shows up who is taking bac under the care of yet another unnamed doc.

                                We know that Dr Levin and Dr Ameisen talk. We know that there is a robust discussion going on in France -- in the media, among the addiction specialists and among alcoholics.

                                There are tests that we know of being conducted in France, Germany and the Netherlands. There has been a naltrexone/baclofen test completed in the US but results have not been published.

                                We know of several rehab centers that prescribe baclofen, at least one in Atlanta and one in Toronto.

                                There have been favorable reviews of baclofen's safety and efficacy published in the last year or so that have been reported on here on mwo. Here are two links: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ion-53999.html and https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...1-a-54234.html. I have the most recent Addolorato article in pdf format but the site says its too large to post. i can email it to anyone who is interested.

                                So, yes, I think much progress is being made and I am certain doctors are talking. And while titration schedules may not yet be standardized (or ever be), I think doctors who talk will be increasingly of a mind as to how to treat co-morbidities, drug interactions and SE's, for example.

                                Cass
                                With profound appreciation to Dr Olivier Ameisen for his brilliant insight and courageous determination

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X