Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Oh, holy crap. I can't believe how much I've missed on this thread alone. I went back looking for a particular post from a particular person, because I can't remember whom and I've erased the private message and lo and behold there are all these wonderful thoughts and people that I haven't seen or heard from in a while. (Pronoia, thanks again for that article related to rats/adderall/bac. That's huge. I knew I had read it, but hadn't been able to find it when I went looking...Nutshell, are you still out there?)

And some from youse who are still around. :l

Nursing, Windy. If I didn't respond. Tho I don't want to be a nurse. And IT stuff, because I would also like to make money. It'll be a completely new and different experience. I am very much looking forward to it.

14 months today! WOOP!
Happy Anniversary Murph!
xo

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Morning, (for me) Reg! Thanks!!

Really great to see you. I was wondering where the heck you were. :l:l

[ifulovelife2]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1291254 wrote:
Happy Anniversary Murph!
Ritebakachya, girly!

14 months!!!! Holy Freak-o-rama! Is it possible it's been that long since the 'switch'?

Isn't that fricking typical of that oik Murph not to remember (despite you reminding him)? I put it down to his brain being drastically messed up by all that baclofen muck. Crazy stuff indeed!

Reggie;1291832 wrote: and Murph ..keep on truckin

Always, Reggie, always. Luvya, man!

[spacebebe01]

Progress thread for ne

IYLL2 I didnt know you where on-line again, does that mean your back here?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

So I woke up with a wild hair. My husband was already up because there's a crisis he has to manage. The man makes lousy coffee and the kitchen's a mess because we were both too tired to clean up after dinner. Now we have ants! ugh. I'm just annoyed and kerfuffled on a couple of different levels.

The wild hair this morning is pharmacists. One of mine is being a pain in the ass.

I have two because I am that thing that doctors and pharmacists fear! a hoarder of medications!!! YIPES!
But that brings me to the point. Which is that when your life and/or well being depends upon an adequate supply of the right medication, it should not really be up to anyone else to determine whether or not you get it. Right?

This particular pharmacist has always been difficult. He's been filling my baclofen prescription for more than a year. He's the one that Dr. Levin had to speak to, personally, while I was there, to get him to fill the damn thing. I watched as his face turned 6 shades of bright red. He got off the phone, filled the prescription while the steam escaped his ears, and then handed me the bottle, but not without a lecture. He made me feel badly back then, and he is attempting to do that again.

This time I asked him (well the tech, actually) to fill my prescription with 10mg pills instead of 20mg pills. (I'll save about $100.) The PITA pharmacist overheard and said that he needed the doctor to rewrite the script. I sighed and said ok. Then, as I was leaving, I heard him say that with that HUGE amount he wouldn't do it unless he heard from the doc. The comment was snide and offhanded. He didn't mean for me to hear it.

I left. I did not react because I am trying to practice "right thinking" and "right speech." (It's a Buddhist/meditation thing.)

Whatever, right? Nope. And here's the reason: It is the pharmacist's job to make sure that the prescriptions he fills are safe. That's it. The man has been filling the SAME prescription for 18 months. For two people. (My husband as well.) There is absolutely no reason, not a legal one or an ethical one, for him to balk. What's more, I picked up my husband's prescription for the exact same amount of pills--in 10mg pills, not 20mg pills. So the pharmacist is just being an ass.

But I'm not an alcoholic anymore. I am not carrying any shameful secrets. Not a one. And the only reason that someone can make me feel badly is when I let them. (and sometimes I do, because sometimes I'm a shit and I should feel badly and then make it right.)

What's more, though, I don't have cold fear running through my veins that he (or anyone else) will control my destiny, much less my well-being through medications. It is not, after all, up to him. Not legally. Not morally. Not ethically.

I've sat with this for a week, and I'm looking forward to going in today to tell him to fuck off. I'll try to do it nicely. But rest assured I'm going to get his name. And the name of his manager, and her manager and whomever else needs to hear about the fact that he feels it necessary to pass judgement (and not the discriminating kind) on what people need to get and stay well.

Because this is about right-ness. Not being right. And on this I finally have confirmation that some people with great enlightenment think it's okay to stand up to the man (or whatever) without jeopardizing one's own peace of mind. (The fact that the Dalai Lama was referring to the conflict between China and Tibet is not the point. )

If you're out there and someone in or with authority is making you feel weak or inept because you have the disease of alcoholism, don't let them fool you. This is not a moral or ethical disease. We did not get it, and do not keep it, because we did something really bad. We have it because we caught an unlucky break.

If your pharmacist is being an ass, tell him to fuck off. And if your pDoc is not listening to what worked for you in the past, or how the new meds make you feel, it is up to you to share that information. Because we have the power and the knowledge to get what we need when we need it.

Peace (or rebellion, as the case may be) out.
:l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Oh, I know you've got a lot on your mind, Mx. But don't let it happen again.


So I woke up with a wild hair. My husband was already up because there's a crisis he has to manage. The man makes lousy coffee and the kitchen's a mess because we were both too tired to clean up after dinner. Now we have ants! ugh. I'm just annoyed and kerfuffled on a couple of different levels.

The wild hair this morning is pharmacists. One of mine is being a pain in the ass.

I have two because I am that thing that doctors and pharmacists fear! a hoarder of medications!!! YIPES!
But that brings me to the point. Which is that when your life and/or well being depends upon an adequate supply of the right medication, it should not really be up to anyone else to determine whether or not you get it. Right?

This particular pharmacist has always been difficult. He's been filling my baclofen prescription for more than a year. He's the one that Dr. Levin had to speak to, personally, while I was there, to get him to fill the damn thing. I watched as his face turned 6 shades of bright red. He got off the phone, filled the prescription while the steam escaped his ears, and then handed me the bottle, but not without a lecture. He made me feel badly back then, and he is attempting to do that again.

This time I asked him (well the tech, actually) to fill my prescription with 10mg pills instead of 20mg pills. (I'll save about $100.) The PITA pharmacist overheard and said that he needed the doctor to rewrite the script. I sighed and said ok. Then, as I was leaving, I heard him say that with that HUGE amount he wouldn't do it unless he heard from the doc. The comment was snide and offhanded. He didn't mean for me to hear it.

I left. I did not react because I am trying to practice "right thinking" and "right speech." (It's a Buddhist/meditation thing.)

Whatever, right? Nope. And here's the reason: It is the pharmacist's job to make sure that the prescriptions he fills are safe. That's it. The man has been filling the SAME prescription for 18 months. For two people. (My husband as well.) There is absolutely no reason, not a legal one or an ethical one, for him to balk. What's more, I picked up my husband's prescription for the exact same amount of pills--in 10mg pills, not 20mg pills. So the pharmacist is just being an ass.

But I'm not an alcoholic anymore. I am not carrying any shameful secrets. Not a one. And the only reason that someone can make me feel badly is when I let them. (and sometimes I do, because sometimes I'm a shit and I should feel badly and then make it right.)

What's more, though, I don't have cold fear running through my veins that he (or anyone else) will control my destiny, much less my well-being through medications. It is not, after all, up to him. Not legally. Not morally. Not ethically.

I've sat with this for a week, and I'm looking forward to going in today to tell him to fuck off. I'll try to do it nicely. But rest assured I'm going to get his name. And the name of his manager, and her manager and whomever else needs to hear about the fact that he feels it necessary to pass judgement (and not the discriminating kind) on what people need to get and stay well.

Because this is about right-ness. Not being right. And on this I finally have confirmation that some people with great enlightenment think it's okay to stand up to the man (or whatever) without jeopardizing one's own peace of mind. (The fact that the Dalai Lama was referring to the conflict between China and Tibet is not the point. )

If you're out there and someone in or with authority is making you feel weak or inept because you have the disease of alcoholism, don't let them fool you. This is not a moral or ethical disease. We did not get it, and do not keep it, because we did something really bad. We have it because we caught an unlucky break.

If your pharmacist is being an ass, tell him to fuck off. And if your pDoc is not listening to what worked for you in the past, or how the new meds make you feel, it is up to you to share that information. Because we have the power and the knowledge to get what we need when we need it.

Peace (or rebellion, as the case may be) out.
:l

[spacebebe01]

Progress thread for ne

Hi Ne its crap that your pharmacists is being an arsehole, yesterday it was my pharmacist who saved my skin when my doc wanted me to have to go and sit in A&E all day for my meds because I forgot today is a bank holiday. According to my doctors receptionist it was totally impossible for her to accept my apology for forgetting they were shut today and print up a script and get a doctor to sign it, she also imformed me that because my script was in the pile to be done the doctor couldnt make me another one because then I would have two so to just wait until tuesday when they reopen and I can have my script then. She informed me that if it was an emergency I should go to A&E to get pills from them. I was fuming at the whole stupidity of her and the fact that she refused to see sence and budge from her work routine just once, Fortunately I phoned my pharmacist who seemed to be aware of the fact I was about to run out of Serequel over the weekend and said she had some for me, she even asked me did I need them delivering, she was so helpful. I couldnt believe the difference in 2 people over the same pills.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I read about your experience, Space. It's one of the things that lit the fire under my feet to go take care of this...

I can't believe it either. Just goes to show that there's them that 'get it' and them that don't. I don't have time for the ones that make my life more challenging than it needs to be. Glad you found a solution, too. Very glad.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Just a quick note for Redthread if she happens along...

Last night I read this story about the Dalai Lama and some honorable Rinpoche (couldn't tell you which one). The honorable Rinpoche, very aged, mostly blind, and without full function of his legs, is having a meal with the Dalai Lama. He spies an ant who is heading for the door. The Rinpoche asks the Dalai Lama to help the ant to the door, which of course he does. The author goes on to explain how this is compassion, but also in-the-moment-awareness. Nothing escapes attention when one is in the moment...

This all came to me after I'd put out the ant traps--the ones in which the ants go in and then take the yummy bait back to their happy little nest and kill everyone. I waited and watched gleefully as they started to go in.

Asshole pharmacists or ants. Which is more annoying? Is there some sort of cosmic lesson here? Can someone turn off my mind for me for just a little while???

[suneelca]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1292634 wrote: Is there some sort of cosmic lesson here? Can someone turn off my mind for me for just a little while???

The cosmic lesson is to be with all of it, up to and including both wanting to turn your mind off for just a little while, and for your mind constantly being on. (What you resist persists!)

I am doing this myself this morning. Body anxiety is way up, presumably because of ongoing Seroquel withdrawal. Thoughts cross my head and I do get hooked on them. But drawing on my own therapy, am also trying to be with the sensations. The therapy that I thought I was about to graduate from teaches this ... it's Buddhism meets CBT.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

suneelca;1292747 wrote: it's Buddhism meets CBT.

exactly! I picked my therapist because when I was in outpatient intensive group therapy she opened our meetings with a bell and meditation. :H
Everyone else hated it.
I called her last summer, after almost six years. Looooove her. Definitely CBT meets mindfulness. She, too, thinks it's the answer.

Speaking of which, I've been procrastinating the next thing for THREE hours. Hope your day is more productive than mine. pfffffffft

[Doggygirl]

Progress thread for ne

Hi Ne. Ants. PIA Pharmacists. I am confident you will sort it all out. (and kick ass and take names on the PIA dude!) Hope school and life are going well!

Happy anni to Brenda. I was just thinking of you the other day. At the time, I thought I was thinking of you because we had just finished discussing transgender issues in addiction treatment in my Diversity class. But I come here and find out I was probably just cosmically aware of your 14 months of freedom! :yougo: How have you been?

Ne - are you taking classes this summer? I'm going to take the summer off. Well, if you can call gardening in what is sure to be 100 degree heat "off." 9 hours of classes left to go in the fall and then all I have left is internship! :yougo: Then it will be time to think about whether I want to go for a masters. Much more interesting than figuring out how to orchestrate my next drunk.

Happy Easter!

DG

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Oh, geez, DG. You're killing me with the time line. I'm looking at minimum another 3 years. And yes, I'm taking classes this summer. I'm debating about trying to squeeze in another full load to the 10 week session. Depends on the move and the house and life. But I likely will. ugh. Not something to contemplate right now.
Didn't deal with any of the pain in the ass stuff today. Ants are still there. Pharmacist is blissfully unaware that he's on my list. I slept. And shopped for fantasy couches. And played a bit here...That all ends tomorrow and then it all starts again. The reprieve was nice, though.

Congrats, my friend. I'm very glad you're going to be out there sooner and getting your help on. We need it!

[Doggygirl]

Progress thread for ne

So have you posted pics of the new house? When are you moving? I am woefully out of the loop on what everyone is up too and I may not even be understanding you right about the house!! You haven't moved yet - right? Don't torture yourself with your school timeline OK? That's what I did this semester and I'm like....whyyyyy???????? What is my hurry??????? At this point in life I want to learn to slow down and smell the roses (or...more likely :cupajoe: ) along the way!

Which reminds me of a funny story. Mr. Doggy saw and old fashioned looking sign in a client's office that had a 50's looking lady on it (ala June Cleaver) holding a :cupajoe.: The sign says "Coffee! You can sleep when you're dead." :H He sent me a pic on the iPhones and I was dying laughing. That is so "me" (with yet another addiction, LOL!). So he found me one on e-bay. So now I have my own reminder in my own kitchen that as long as coffee is legal, I can sleep when I'm dead. :H

I took a bit of a goof off day yesterday too. Now I gotta get crackin'. :b&d: Have a good weekend! I will be checking back to see what pharmacists tastes like after you have a piece of him.

DG

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I got on here to whine about the fact that it's the middle of the night (for me) and I'm WIDE awake...

And lo and behold your post, DG. I have spent the last couple of hours looking at class schedules and programs at other schools to try to figure out What. To. Do. with my life. And how to squish it all in right NOW. To top it off, the reason I'm up is because of the cuppa joe (or cuppsa) joe I had about an hour before normal bedtime.

:upset:

Never did get around to taking care of the pharmacist. It was too much trouble, as it turns out. So he lives another day without the wrath of Ne. Not that he cares, one way or another. Nor do I, I suppose. And the house...that remains to be seen. It's very cute. My fingers are crossed. sorta. It's big. I don't want to clean a big house. And the yard is big. Ditto mowing. (hmmm. can you tell I'm making sure I don't totally fall in love. yet.) We won't know more until next month. Which is fine, because I've got finals. (Are you there yet, DG?)

Guess I'll wrap up this solitary conversation.

Hope everybody's doing well--shout out to the bac-insomniacs. It was always pretty comforting that with the whole-world-wide-thing we have going on here, there was always someone awake. But apparently there's not a very chatty European contingent atm. 'cause all's quiet around here.

g' night! (I hope.)