Progress thread for ne

[COSGringo]

Progress thread for ne

I missed that. Did not realize you were with your folks.
Geez. That would last about a day for me but I am hoping you are in a better situation.
Hope that's panning out.

[StuckinLA]

Progress thread for ne

A knot is roughly a mile per hour (1.2). But the salient point there is holy crap I am glad you are OK!

Or, that you are safe. Hang in there, NE, sanity is hiding out there in Maryland somewhere. Though I'm with COS on this one, my sanity is definitely not hiding at my folks place--or, maybe that's just it, it is hiding when I'm there...

Enjoy the manual labors!

[RedThread12]

Progress thread for ne

StuckinLA;1344178 wrote: my sanity is definitely not hiding at my folks place--or, maybe that's just it, it is hiding when I'm there...

Oh, I do know what you mean, Stuckin-la!!!

[spacebebe01]

Progress thread for ne

My mum lives in a one bed flat in sheltered housing complex (over 60's) known locally as the house of widows, there is no where to hide, even when I go out for a smoke one of them is lurking somewhere waiting to chat:H:upset:

[RedThread12]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1344087 wrote: When I met with my therapist last week and told her I couldn't sleep, was having those "bad thoughts" again, wanted to sleep all day, wasn't eating or exercising and thought I was going to end up a complete basket case she said, "That all sounds pretty normal."

Was she being ironic? :H:H:H (somebody stop me, please!!!)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Lol. And you know what just occurred to me red? Fri was 29th. Thank the gods. Lololol. On my way home now.

Sanity IS at the home I was in. Great weekend. I helped install a roof! First time. Last time. Broke a nail.

[windycitylady]

Progress thread for ne

Thank you, Ne. As usual, I felt silly and embarassed after posting. I guess what really matters is that I better after WRITING it, you know?
(BF just called from Walgreen's to ask how many milligrams of melatonin we take and would I like a formula with L theanine? Sigh. I do love him.)
Glad you're all intact after the storm! Roofing in this heat? A broken nail?! I'm impressed!
I'm glad that you've come to the conclusion that this is a normal, if uncomfortable, way for you to feel right now. As self medicators (the alcoholic way, not the ordering bac online way), I think it's hard for us to cognitively realize that some pain is necessary and part of our growing process. I keep complaining that I'm stressed and depressed and keep getting the response that your therapist gave you: well, you SHOULD be right now. But what do I do to fix it? Nothing. You feel it, you live through it, you grow.
I like the idea of throwing yourself into positive activities. Yes, stay busy, stay social (online or otherwise). I think other people keep us in check, they can be mirrors in which we can see what a situation really is, and not how we imagine it.
Jesus, I hope I'm making sense. I'm exhausted after a very long work day, so I apologize if this comes across as nonsense. Anyhow, you get what I'm trying to say.

You're the best, Ne. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Ach. Talk about a nonsensical post. Sorry about the last one. It was for Redthread, who told me that everything was going to get better after the 29th. And I wasn't being ironic, but I can feel a sense of humor creeping back into my mind. I've missed it, without even knowing it.

Has anyone notice that the first third of this thread is missing? After some time of feeling actually decent (almost human!) and sort of getting my life together I decided that I didn't really want people to see how I had been. I was a mother effin' train wreck. I was scared. I got on here obsessively. (Really. It's still a little embarrassing how much time I spent here!) Almost every thought I had ended up here. And then I obsessed about what I'd written for days. I was terrified that people didn't understand what I'd meant. I was petrified that people would think I was crazy/mean/horrible. I was full of anxiety that I was posting all this crap for the entire WWW to see. I used to write my posts in a word document and sit on them for days before I posted them. (probably would be better if I still did that! )

But I started making friends. Real life, 3D friends I still talk to more than two years later. And I started getting better. I could not have done it, would not have kept taking the god damned pills if I had not had oodles of people here encouraging me. What's more, people felt connected here and on MWO because (in part) at that time we all let it all hang out. And we were there for one another. It was and is an incredibly beautiful and profound almost inexplicable thing.

Erasing the beginning of my journey is the biggest mistake I have made on MWO, and if I still lived in a place of regret I would regret that one. If anyone was going to fail at this, it was me. If anyone was ill suited to following it through to the end, you're hearing from her. The only thing I had that is different than so many others is faith in MWO and the anonymous people here.

Even now I wonder what the hell I'm doing here. And I know in about a month I will not have the luxury. But when I started to lose it a month or so ago, started to feel bad, this is where I came. I also called, skyped and texted my MWO friends. And you all helped enormously. Thank you.
Just keep posting. (and taking the gdp)
Super love for you and out at you. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

spacebebe01;1344248 wrote: My mum lives in a one bed flat in sheltered housing complex (over 60's) known locally as the house of widows, there is no where to hide, even when I go out for a smoke one of them is lurking somewhere waiting to chat:H:upset:

I'm living in a retirement community atm! There are ten women for every man. And nary a single man around, 'cause if their wives aren't living, they all have girlfriends.

Ed and I use the back staircase to get in and out when we're on our way somewhere because otherwise we might run into someone. If we happen to run into someone we are very likely to end up talking about rheumatoid arthritis, the latest wine tasting (where they sip a couple of ounces of only two different wines :H) or the weather--for twenty minutes. As a chick who is always late, it is not very convenient.

However, we scored a coup last night because we ran into a couple of people (they're 85 and 87) who invited us for cocktails. At 5pm. Two weeks from now. :H
They're going to invite other people from our hall! I am already thinking about what to wear!

[spacebebe01]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1344525 wrote: I am already thinking about what to wear!

How about those sexy heels I remember you getting

[spacebebe01]

Progress thread for ne

Ne Ive only got a moment but what is happening in a month? and over the past month, Im getting kind of worried, are you leaving us, surely not

[COSGringo]

Progress thread for ne

Glad to hear it Ne. Roofs, ugh. That's what insurance is for. I won't touch them. That and painting.
And in that heat? God bless you.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

The weirdest thing about the storm is how sudden and urgent it felt. No rain. Just thunder and lightening and roaring wind. It was amazing!
Just after the dog and I jumped from bed, convinced the sky was falling when the wind ripped the screen door off, my dad came running downstairs in his underwear and with barely any hesitation ran out the front door mumbling something about my mom's car. Turns out all the windows were open in her car and they'd just had all the carpets replaced.
It was pitch black, the kind of black that is really rare on the east coast. And it was the kind of lightening that is so bright it blinds you for a couple of minutes afterward.

Meanwhile, I was standing at the kitchen door feeling like Auntie Em and wondering if my dad was headed for Oz...

It's an apt metaphor for life, isn't it? Or am I just feeling particularly...literary or something?
The future is just like that...Big, black, undefined and possibly threatening. We don't have to be fearless to face it. We just gotta grab a light and a loved one and take on the challenge. booyah, baby.

Space, I'm not going anywhere, probably ever. MWO is in my blood now. (sorry for your luck everybody.) My parent's have a second home that they go to on the weekends. They have to sell it, which is kind of brutal emotionally (damn economy) but they are otherwise well. It's about 3 hours from here, and I go as often as I can.
Redthread, my therapist (her name is Beth!) is almost never ironic. She is...nice. (ugh. But thank for that. I need a foil.)
WCL, I meant that I broke a fingernail! :H I am...a bit girly despite my willingness to get on a roof and help my dad lay tiles in God-foresaken heat. I was also covered from head to toe with cloth of some sort, and SPF1000 because I am more scared of a tan than I am of falling off a roof. You pretty much always make sense. At least to me, and that's all that matters...To me.
I seriously wonder sometimes how my husband would actually live without a wife. Any wife. But really? He doesn't remember our address. Any of them. Ever. Really. Then again, the man cuts up the meat I eat into pieces that are pretty and don't resemble the original form. I thought he did this because he's a chef and makes pretty plates. Turns out he knows that I find the idea of eating meat so distasteful that I won't eat it unless it's pretty. Embarrassing but true. (What am I, a three year old that he has to disguise my food? :H)

Sometimes sh*t IS uncomfortable. Whatev. Get up. Grab a light. Get on with it. Right?

You're the best, peeps. :h

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

spacebebe01;1344565 wrote: How about those sexy heels I remember you getting

One of the really nice things about being in a retirement community is that everyone would be appalled if I wore four inch stilettos...I'd likely get a lecture on how bad they are for my back! One of the big bummers is that they get dressed up for everything. I can't walk the dog in my pajamas and slippers! I have to wash my face before we go downstairs! Yoga pants are out of the question.
I really hope that the whole move into casual clothing moves with us into old age. Putting on a bra and real shoes to walk the dog at 6am is a pain.

[StuckinLA]

Progress thread for ne

Not much time this morning, but want to quickly respond to your storm/future N(ew)E(ngland) experience:

And I clearly have no idea how to put pictures on in these posts... so I think there's an attachment on here somewhere... and here's a link to the same thing:

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