Progress thread for ne

[TexasAg]

Progress thread for ne

Flamengo, how's the anxiety?

[flamengo]

Progress thread for ne

Hi Texas,

I was doing good for a few days but am back to square one again. I feel so hopeless. Yesterday I had a great day, felt so normal. Went to bed and it was like the lights wouldn't go off. I just don't get it anymore. All I want is to feel normal again. I feel like the remeron only amps me up more, it does help with the depression but I'm always so startled on it. I think my issue with the baclofen was that I went up too high on it too fast. I called my psychiatrist to see if he can see me this week. I feel so depressed today; I have so many things to live for but days like this make me just want to go into a long nap and not wake up for a while. Just really sad that I can't get well...

Thanks for asking. I'm going to keep looking for an answer until one day I have none.

HOpe you are doing well!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Hopeless is a really good feeling to mercilessly kill. It's the opposite of good. It's baaaaaaaaad. Squash that nasty thing. However you can.

I can't stick around, but I'll be back in the morning. Just wanted to send you both some hugs, let you know that you're in my thoughts and that trials and tribulations end. I hope you're both taking really good care and being very gentle and kind to yourselves, first and foremost. You ARE doing what you need to in order to get well.
:l

[TexasAg]

Progress thread for ne

I agree with Ne, hopeless should be brutally killed. Not just killed, but spit on and kicked. Not with a gun, that's too nice for hopeless. It should be done with a bat and with all your anger and strength! (Think of the scene from the movie Office Space, where they go to town on the fax/copier with a bat) I know it's easier said than done, believe me, but it has to be done.

I wrote something on the "Newbies nest for bac" thread when I started on Bac. (sorry, I'm not very good at putting quotes in my post so I'm just gonna copy paste!)
___________________________________
"I just want to say thanks to all of you that post especially you senior members, Loop, Ne/Neva, Bleep, Ig, Murphyx, Redhead77, and many others. I’ve seen you put up with some pretty crappy posters (mainly on other threads) but still you keep helping. That is what convinced me, this can’t be snake oil. I’m nervous about the SE’s but excited to get to the switch. More importantly, I have hope, which makes the world of difference for this drunk.

The miserable have no other medicine
But only hope.~ Shakespeare,

Now I have hope, and hopefully a medicine!
Cheers!"
_________________________________

I've been on Bac for three weeks going up slowly each week. I'm still drinking, but have only had two (ok, maybe three) bad binges since starting which is really good for me. I can say that I'm handling things much better, my anxiety is lower and believe me these last few weeks have been really sh_tty.

I hope Bac is for you and you can slowly titrate. Call Dr. L. He's very helpful and it makes a difference to me to have a doctor supervising even though it's from afar.

Cheers!

Day 23 on Bac - 80mg
AF - 8/5/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

:l Tag.
Keep on rockin'

[TexasAg]

Progress thread for ne

Thanks Ne! BTW I had a suggestion for you and Stuck on the Newbies nest for Bac thread!

Cheers!

Day 23 on Bac - 80mg
AF - 8/5/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[flamengo]

Progress thread for ne

Thanks Texas! I'm going to contact him today and see if he will work with me. BTW - I'm not trying to be a 'crappy' poster. Just trying to find some answers to heal from this mess. I appreciate all the feedback and hope to someday be my normal self again.

Again, thank you!

[TexasAg]

Progress thread for ne

I definitely wasn't referring to you with my 'crappy' poster comment! There are some posters that seem to want to bring people down. Today is a perfect example (not on this thread!). Luckily we have some good strong Motherly (politically incorrect?) friends that protect us newbies!

Cheers!

Day 23 on Bac - 80mg
AF - 8/5/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[TexasAg]

Progress thread for ne

You're funny!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I just got off of the phone with my very best friend. She's my cousin. Eight months and a day older than I am. We will grow old and hopefully die peacefully in each other's company.

The thing is, she's going through a really tough time. And she gloms on to all of these really awful things that happen to people. Tonight she called to tell me about an eighteen year old neighbor who was drinking at a party and fell and hit his head and died. It's sad. It's tragic! But the thing is, there is a lot of tragedy in the world. But it is GREATLY overshadowed by beauty. And life.

These are the things I want to share with her. Because I really don't have room in my life or my mind for other people's drama. Even when it's tragically sad. I hope this does not make me a poor listener. I still listen. I just can't reach across that divide into the place where someone is so intent on being miserable that they attach to misery. I'll dive to the depths of hell, grab her hand, and not look back on the way up, if I need to. But she's got to reach out for the hand first. Ya' know?

There is a triangle with an exclamation point in the top left corner of every post. It is for the purpose of reporting hateful, hurtful or just disrespectful posts. (And spam, too.) It's the only tool I have for people who just want to inflict crap around. Because to respond in any way is to feed the beast. Not mine. My beast is gone. I got no room for anyone else's beast either.

I see myself as more of a she-ra than a momma, Tex. But the point is well taken and thanks for it. :l
Just focus on making your own beast go! And helping others get rid of theirs. Keep in mind that I am right as rain. And sun.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I don't know what the hell is going on with my PMs. Sorry 'bout that. Text messages or email work...

More from me on the flip side. Sleep well, everybody!

[Sticky]

Progress thread for ne

Down under

Hi NE

Not only did Susiesmom give me the contact details for the GP who prescribed bac for her daughter, but now another lady has contacted her through MWO. So this one GP in little ol' NZ is now treating 4 people with bac. No doubt there are others doing it too. I spoke to the newest patient on the phone tonight. It is so cool to have someone in Auckland to talk to and whom I will hopefully meet who is at a similar dosage. I'm now at 110 and have had awful insomnia since last Fri. Debilitating to the point where I probably shouldn't be driving. Can't concentrate and am struggling to keep on top of work. Took hubby to the GP today as GP said (and quite rightly too) that it was counterproductive to be drinking sneakily. Hubby has read the book and is now on board and noticed some positive changes in me, so I need to hang onto that.
Will update on my thread at some stage, but am so shattered it might not make much sense right now!
Hope you are still doing well.

Cheers
Sticky

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

SO GREAT to hear from you Sticky! I'm sorry that you are feeling so poorly, but there are ways to mitigate that. You can send me an email, if you'd like. My PM box is broken and I don't have time to straighten it out with the powers that be right now.
It's krileyd at gmail.
In the meantime, hang in there! Love to Susiesmum, Susie, (should you happen to meet her) and your new friend. A burgeoning 3D support group! That's awesome. And fondness to that doctor too. I am so impressed by him.

I've got to bow out for a while, peeps. I'm not sure what that means exactly, and I don't know what I'll do to fill the MWO gap, in terms of friends, support or fun! But we bought a house yesterday! I am a bit overwhelmed at the prospect!!! And the amount of work to be done.

I was feeling a bit unsure about this decision, particularly about announcing it, and then logged on to see the thread about Ameisen totally derailed into really poor advice and responses from still sick people.
Suffice it to say, they're wrong. Misled. Still drunk. I consider it not just kerfuffle, but malicious and malevolent. Those kinds of threads keep people sick. They actively play on fear and insecurity, breed bad feelings and overwhelm people with misinformation. This is evil. Not just bad. Evil. Why would anyone do such a thing? I can't tell you.
What I can tell you is that I won't be able to resist reading it, and if I read it then I will be overwhelmed by the urge to respond. (How could I not? It makes/keeps people sick!) Not to mention the fact that those people, many of whom rely on the same safety network, the same inspiration that I do, are attacking the things I hold most dear: The two men involved and the opportunity to find a completely unique way out of the hell that is addiction.

I will flag everything written by desperado (formerly baclofan and admittedly still drunk). The only way to deal with her is to flag the posts. Any response will lead to more anger, more baseless and malicious attacks, and more misinformation. Be very wary!

I will also point out that anyone who is still suffering from craving, and/or insomnia, and/or any of the other side effects related to baclofen, is not someone I would take advice from. Why would I follow the path of someone who is still sick and miserable? or just miserable??? Antabuse? please. Xanax in the middle of a panic attack? Nope. Taken irregularly when one feels like it? Doesn't work. And in fact is likely to result in the dependence/addiction that the person is trying so desperately to avoid. One cannot depend on a pill to manage life. One can only depend on a pill to get past a specific situation. It's a tool, not a crutch.
As is baclofen. Taking it any other way is taking it in the way that addicts take things...Without a plan, without a goal, because they (we) don't feel good/can't cope. That's an addict's response. If I can't cope with life, I find an outlet that will allow me to cope. Exercise. Meditation/prayer. Support and friendship. Anything else is a cop out.

Furthermore, most of those that it "didn't work for" often took it irregularly, PRN (on an as needed basis), or titrated up and down WAY too quickly. Slow and steady wins this battle. There is no such thing as having the tools to defeat addiction in a short amount of time. And there is no such thing as an easy way out. This is a chronic, incurable disease. There is also absolutely no debate in that fact. It Is Truth.

The vast majority of us who have achieved complete and utter indifference to alcohol did it using the only tool available for that purpose: Baclofen. We took enough of it, for long enough, that we don't have to, don't want to, and definitely don't need to drink or drug anymore. We take it consistently, without distraction or variance, and continue to take it. Anyone who suggests anything different does not understand the absolute truth.

All of this, including Dr. Ameisen's own responses to the very tired debate, in his own words is available right here, hidden in the threads of MWO. I found it. You can too. If it's worth your life, freedom and contentment, you'll look.

Good luck and hang in there. Whatever tools you use to find a way out, use them well and don't give up.

All my heartfelt love and support and freedom and gratitude to you and yours. Most of all, a prayer for strength to win this battle to each and everyone of the people who log on here.

Peace out!

Karen

[spacebebe01]

Progress thread for ne

I just found this on page 2, so I have just bumped it for you Ne to remind you about it :H

[ifulovelife2]

Progress thread for ne

Good call Space and Reg: where are you woman?

Everyone, just 50 more posts and we'll shove that annoying pr*ck MurphyX down into third place. God, but he made me vom!