Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I'm missing a couple of people.

Seagirl, did you see my posts? Are you okay? Did you decide you didn't, after all was said and done, actually like me?

Reggie, hiya mate! Stick your head in, will ya'?

[kronkcarr]

Thanks Ne, I actually tried to send you a PM but it said that your mailbox was full. Maybe you don't want to delete the messages?

So with the Baclofen I started at 30mg for a week and went up to 40mg. In rehab they gave me a strong anti-nausea medication that I can't afford to buy now. Ive been taking dramamine and get really sick with anything over 10mg at a time. If I take two pills of Dramamine, I can handle 20mg but have trouble writing and can't remember a lot of things. I haven't mixed Bac with alcohol.

My Dr is prescribing Bac and fully supports me.

I had a low level constant nausea on bac. I still do at 50 mgs after almost 3 years on it. I don't really like food anymore. I eat to fuel and I make sure that I eat what I need for the day. I find something I tolerate and eat it a lot until I no longer like it. Right now it's coconut chia bars. At one point it was cinnamon pop tarts. Mostly it seems like a good trade off.

[dundrinkn]

OMG -- pop tarts! I love me some pop tart. Not eating them right now, however.

Are you ready for it???? I am indifferent! When it happens for me, it's like coming up for air after being underwater for a really long time. Wow. So awesome.

I am at 100 mg of Baclofen and 1000 of Gaba. The last two days I've had minimal to no leg pain. Wha??? Yes, you got that right. I had no leg pain a few weeks ago as well, but then upped the Baclofen and the leg pain recurred so had to up the Gaba too. Or maybe it was not enough beer. Ha. Regardless, right now I am really good.

Oh, except for the fact that I woke up this morning feeling super duper at 2am. And didn't get back to sleep until 5 and my alarm went off at 5:40. But ya know what. I don't care. Cuz I don't want a beer. And I didn't for the last few days. Like not at all. Even last week I was still thinking about it a lot -- when I went to the grocery store and would walk by the liquor store window with a very sad face. Or going to soccer games and not having a cold one to drink in the car for immediately after (sad face). So here's the really cool thing for me about baclofen.... I am FREE!!! I don't have the aching, yearning, feeling like if I'm not having fun or feeling better because I'm not drinking. I'll be dealing with a lot of other shit (feelings) that I've been drinking to numb out, but that ones off the books for now. Yippee!!!!

Have a wonderful day peeps.

[StuckinLA]

That is the very bestest of news. So happy for you, dun!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Are you ready for it???? I am indifferent! When it happens for me, it's like coming up for air after being underwater for a really long time. Wow. So awesome.

I am at 100 mg of Baclofen and 1000 of Gaba. The last two days I've had minimal to no leg pain. Wha??? Yes, you got that right.

Yipppeeeeee! That's so great, Dun. And without any leg pain? Bloody fantastic. Congratulations.

I like your description of indifference. And I cannot wait for that feeling.

[Mom21961]

Are you ready for it???? I am indifferent! When it happens for me, it's like coming up for air after being underwater for a really long time. Wow. So awesome.

:yay: I'm so happy for you!!!

[Lostinspace]

Congratulations, dun!!! That’s so incredibly awesome. I’m really happy for you

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Y'all, I just found out that I am not officially readmitted back to the program. Yes, seriously. The readmissions committee doesn't meet until MONDAY. I have all weekend to stew and chew on this.

It also turns out that I may have to take a readmissions test. Have absolutely NO idea what that's all about. A policy change, maybe?

Unreal. I had no idea I had to apply for readmission. Found out on Wednesday, and thought it was just a formality.

Do you know how devastating it will be if I am not readmitted to this program? That means I wouldn't be able to start back until March 2016. Assuming that I can get in!

Okay. I am starting to feel ridiculous. It will be absolutely unbelievably frustrating, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it now. Man, screw this feeling.

Hope your day is better than mine.

[_serenity_]

Nausea is a pretty rare side effect. If I took my baclofen regularly, on a schedule, and with food, I wouldn't feel nauseous, much less vomit. But I don't.

I wanted to comment on this - nausea is actually a VERY common side effect! It was the worst one I had while I was titrating up on bac. I've seen others who have vomited on bac (I think of taw - I hope she's OK, wherever she is).

Also, MAJOR congrats to dundrinkin. And hang in there with the nursing school stuff NE, the universe will take care of you, I am sure of it.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I wanted to comment on this - nausea is actually a VERY common side effect! It was the worst one I had while I was titrating up on bac. I've seen others who have vomited on bac (I think of taw - I hope she's OK, wherever she is).

Also, MAJOR congrats to dundrinkin. And hang in there with the nursing school stuff NE, the universe will take care of you, I am sure of it.

I had no idea that you experienced nausea. Or that it was common. (Poor Taw. Miss her.) I only get it from taking too much bac at one time. Or drinking too much at one time. Definitely vomitous when both things happen simultaneously. Last night I threw up my dinner, at 1am. (Not from drinking, I only had 4 beers.) Which was a first. I usually only get morning sickness from bac. Infinitely better than the other kind of morning sickness, especially at my age. Still...It sucks.

Maybe the universe knows I really don't want to be a nurse and is channeling me toward another direction? Maybe the universe doesn't realize I would like to finish ONE fucking thing in my life, before being re-channeled. I'm trusting the universe, 'cause what else is there? I can't be trusted at the moment.

I think I'm channeling Jenny Larson's book Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things. It's about depression, anxiety and mental illness. It is, at times, laugh out loud funny. Even the parts when she's describing what it's like to have depression and anxiety. (And there are lots of correlations with our own disease, too. Shame/guilt/regret/remorse/resentment...) Not that I'm funny, but this post is my lame-ass homage to the book, which I'm furiously enjoying. It's very flippant, so I'm feeling very flippant.

Today's Ed's birthday. Instead of planning something fun, I planned to get two of my strongest male friends over here to help us move an ~8' (~2.5m) willow tree to the other side of the yard. (Three unfinished home improvement projects are not enough for Ne. Thought I'd add another major chore.) The biggest problem is that he swore he would not help move the willow tree, and that if I wanted it moved, I could do it my damn self. It's a long story about why, but basically I like to get him to plant trees and bushes and then move them again later. He gets upset about it. The willow tree has been a point of contention for more than a year. But it can't stay where it is, and I love it so I don't want to chop it down, and it's a Saturday when he's off and my friends work M-F. And I forgot it was his birthday.

So basically I suck as a wife.

Whatever. These days he's always angry with me about something anyway. Might as well be the tree. Because we're moving it, dammit.

Cheers.

[dundrinkn]

Hi Ne,
Hope the tree moving went as planned and the birthday got celebrated as well. Just dropping by to say I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that everything works out with the readmission process. That's a drag. Keep us posted.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

The tree is in it's new home. Yippeee! And without much ado, or griping, actually. I even cancelled the friends, because we were able to move it ourselves.

We didn't celebrate the birthday. We've officially named Saturday as his birthday and will celebrate then.

After giving it some thought, I realized that in the email I received from the head of the readmission committee she said that after their meeting they would just have to find a time for the test. Which says to me that I'm in and this is just...bureaucratic malarkey. So there's that good news. I'm not even worried about it anymore. It is what it is.

In baclofen news, I have split my doses into 4x/day and I haven't been nauseous in two days. Unfortunately, Ed and I are both above our original switch doses and still craving and drinking. Very frustrating. My pdoc thinks it's because we are both so stressed and anxious at the moment. She might be right?

I've got a crazy busy next couple of days trying to get everything done before school starts. Don't know why I always think that I won't be able to accomplish anything else...Except that recent history tells me so. I'd like to think that I'm healthy enough to be able to hold more than one thing in my head at this point. Fingers are crossed.

Hope it's a good day for you all.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I'm in the program!
And so it begins. Class tomorrow at noon. I've got a lot to do today and tomorrow morning.

Check y'all later. :hug:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I've got class today at noon. I'm very excited about it. Nervous as hell, too. Mostly because I've got to meet 30 new people who have been to hell and back together. Each cohort is limited to 32 people. The two years of school are really pretty hellish, by design, and the group tends to get very closely knit.

This will be my third cohort. I like to think that means I've got contacts with 90 people in various hospitals, rather than just 30. But it also means I'm odd-woman-out, especially since it's the last class. Whatever, though.

It feels like a whole new world is opening up. I'm psyched. I'm also taking a developmental psychology class online that should be interesting (and easy). I had to take another class to qualify for financial aid, and since I'm doomed (I mean destined) to go into shrink-world to help our people, I figure I might as well start now.

Still drinking a little. Still taking gobs of bac. But much more regularly and without any SEs at all.

Peace out peeps!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Unfortunately, I haven't made nearly as much progress getting organized as I would have liked.

Here's a pictures of my study. It really looks like that. Right now. Please notice in the corner when I decided, more than a year ago, that I was tired of the mustard yellow color in the room and I wanted it white again. Then I changed my mind again. But I've never taken the time to repaint. In the corner you can't see are two file boxes, completely unorganized, with piles of paper on top. (Mostly related to baclofen and addiction, actually.)

ADD is painful, peeps. Depression made it very much worse. I'm very thankful to be getting both under control.

EDIT: You can barely see it on the shelf, especially with all the other crap in the way. I purchased the picture in my avatar and it sits there proudly.