Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

BLEEP!

Nice to hear from you. Hope you're well, too.

And yes, this place pretty much sucks the life out of you if you let it. But thanks for stopping by.

xx

[bleep]

Fred, I am again trying to titrate off. Well, I'm off baclofen, but cracks are appearing after the honeymoon. I am pretty sure that withing a couple of months I will be back on it.

All good here Ne, thanks. Drinking becoming more and more prevalent, but the cure is at hand. I can't seem to find a balance, so will probably end up on baclofen full time. Every time I stop I get a brief window of normality, then it slips back.

It's not the place, it is spiritwolf, sucking the joy out of every interaction here. Otter hit the nail on the head, but I don't see what we can do about it.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Yes, well, Spiritwolf is only the latest in a long line of trolls. Just because we had a honeymoon period of time, when you and I and others were creating some pretty amazing things here, doesn't mean that this place hasn't always had a problem with the likes of assholes and trolls.

Spiritwolf just happens to be VERY tenacious. And also completely changes tactics and tries to rewrite history occasionally. All very amusing if it wasn't so damn evil. Totally undermines the safe space this place could be.

I'm still working on a new forum. And other things besides. It's about time that someone took what Lo0p/Evan started and really ran with it. Even if it doesn't (because it won't) replace this place. It will be at least a safe place for people to post. And unlike with Evan's forum, I plan to make sure there is a response to every post. Hell, I've been doing it for more than 5 years, here. I figure I can do it there, and maybe here, too. At least for a while.

Then there's the fact that more than half the time, I just want to stop with my obsession and move on to living my life, much the way (I assume) you have done.

Sorry for the tome. I sent you an email, too.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hey, and interesting about your experiment with baclofen. Others have posted, too, about having a honeymoon period when they stop, but eventually returning to drinking too much. Sorry to hear it's happened to you, too.

But, there is always the little pill that works wonders if we let it.

When you titrate back up, or in your case, take it by the handful, do you go to the same amount to reach indifference? Ed and I have gone up to 420mg (original switch at 320mg) and still drinking too much...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

What sort of dog is she, Ne?

I have a staffie (staffordshire bull terrier) who is as lively as yours sounds. She has already passed the age of 2, for which I, like you, had great hopes. Lively as ever. So I asked the vet, who had just struggled to give her a routine vaccination, "When do you think she will calm down?" His reply was "Probably about half an hour before she dies!" He was joking of course.....I think.....

Molly! I missed your post since it came in the middle of kerfuffle.
Sorry!

I have a husky. She's 17 months old. She's very pretty. (When my gay bff says someone is very pretty, he says it in a snarky way that you know it's not a complement. That tone of voice should be employed here.) She LOVES to play, all the time, which includes using her mouth. She doesn't bite. It's not at all aggressive. It's harassment. And it wouldn't even bother us, so much, if she didn't do it to other people. She starts jumping around and the next thing you know, she's got her mouth wrapped around their hands. Other people don't like it. Other people think that she is biting them, or going to bite them.

The funniest thing is, she is the least aggressive dog we've ever owned. I mean in terms of all things, like cats and other dogs and kids and everything. Except varmints, which she hunts and eats with abandon. Which makes me happy, even though it grosses me out.

Didn't I say enough? Enough already.

I hope your vet was wrong...and Pete (the pup) won't make much of a rug, but she needs to chill the eff out or I'm going to make a muff of her. Maybe I'll just have her stuffed and put her next to the fireplace? She really is that pretty. ha.

Anyway. Enough about her.

[Spiritfree]

Dude, you are a toxic individual. Fucking give it a break, and let this site return to the haven it used to be. Just stop.

Bleep: "All good here Ne, thanks. Drinking becoming more and more prevalent, but the cure is at hand. I can't seem to find a balance, so will probably end up on baclofen full time. Every time I stop I get a brief window of normality, then it slips back.
It's not the place, it is spiritwolf, sucking the joy out of every interaction here. Otter hit the nail on the head, but I don't see what we can do about it."

Nice to hear/read from you Bleep. I am so glad that you are willing to be part of the solution and not the problem.
(Bleep, you of all people know that there was no reason to even bring me up in your conversation. I simply do not understand).

Bleep I will say this and most all of us this already know this fact: alcohol abuse results in people doing and saying things that they never would have if they were sober. Unfortunately, this mental disease causes harm not only to the abuser but to many others. This is the ultimate sadness of the AUD brain disorder.

[Spiritfree]

Yes, well, Spiritwolf is only the latest in a long line of trolls. Just because we had a honeymoon period of time, when you and I and others were creating some pretty amazing things here, doesn't mean that this place hasn't always had a problem with the likes of assholes and trolls.
Spiritwolf just happens to be VERY tenacious. And also completely changes tactics and tries to rewrite history occasionally. All very amusing if it wasn't so damn evil. Totally undermines the safe space this place could be.
I'm still working on a new forum.

Ne -you might be fooling a lot of people -including yourself, but I am not part of that clan. You just posted (now deleted) where you are taking 320 mg of Baclofen and still drinking heavily. It is my opinion that you are drinking heavily when you write posts about me or to me in such insulting-hateful ways (I used to do the same). Ne, I hope that whatever I write (posts) eventually ends up being a part of what helps you to sober up. I hope that you develop such a heavy resentment towards me that you will say to yourself "I will show that sob that I can be sober and still tell him what an arse he is".

Ne, alcohol is such a cruel foe -as you already know. I am so truly sorry that it is taking such a toil on you. When you do eventually sober up, do not look back at your posts to or about me as something 'bad'. Instead, simply read what you wrote and pass on to others just how harmful alcohol is to a person and what a person will/won't do while drinking.

(Edit: Ne-you do not have to keep spending your energy in trying to create a new forum. As you might recall, Mentium has already started a new forum and your support and help of said forum would be greatly appreciated -or at least I think: http://ourwayout.freeforums.net/"

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Honestly, Spirit, I didn't really believe that you were drinking again but your last post has quite convinced me. Either that or you are suffering from some sort of dementia. I'm actually starting to get worried. Should I call you or your wife just to make sure you're okay?

Ne -you might be fooling a lot of people -including yourself, but I am not part of that clan. You just posted (now deleted) where you are taking 320 mg of Baclofen and still drinking heavily.

I haven't deleted anything that said I was taking 320mg of baclofen. I hit my switch at 320mg of baclofen.

On Nov 22nd and 25th I posted that I was taking 280mg of baclofen and drinking less.

I'm at 280 and plugging along. Actually drinking less

Later in the day on Nov 25th, I realized I'd made a mistake. I was actually taking 240mg and STILL drinking less.

I just realized this morning, when I took my first dose, that I'm taking 240mg, not 280. Oops. Counting is hard!

Still drinking less...

Then you suggested that the reason I know you to be toxic to this forum is because I'm drunk...Which is laughable, except that you are toxic and it's anything but funny.

When you do eventually sober up, do not look back at your posts to or about me as something 'bad'.

Oh, trust me. I'm sober when I write the posts. I'm sober right now as I respond. In fact, I am generally sober!

You know why I feel badly about responding to you?Because you make everything you touch toxic, even me. By responding to you, I give you some measure of legitimacy. But by not responding to you, I give what you say some credibility. Like all true trolls, you make it impossible to be reasonable. But I don't feel bad that I think you're a troll and we would be MUCH MUCH better off without you. We were, in the very short time you were gone.

You've made it really incredibly clear that people who take baclofen and other medications for AUD need a supervised, moderated forum. I may not have been my first choice, but I'll damn sure make certain we have an option where people that post things like what you've posted are not allowed to continue your tirade of lies and half truths.

If you don't like what I write, Spiritfree/Spiritwolf333, please feel free to ignore me. Or you could just stop referring to me in posts altogether, or responding to threads I'm involved in. That would be a really good start to a truce, don't you think?

Here're some of the really, really bad threads you've posted in the past. I won't link them. I'll just give the titles.

** BACLOFEN IS NOT THE SOLUTION **

**LOOKING FOR THE MAGIC PILL **

MEDICATIONS for ALCOHOLISM -Do they really work?

ALCOHOLISM • MEDICATION • and RESENTMENT

Federal & State Criminal Laws: Doxing-Cyberstalking-Cyberbullying

BACLOFEN -Why baclofen can work if you stop drinking

EDIT: Spiritfree/Spiritwolf333 got sober, and became completely abstinent only because of baclofen. He has never taken any other medication to help with his own lifelong battle with alcoholism. He used a member of this forum (Otter) to contact his rehab clinic to convince them to prescribe baclofen, which Otter did. Then he relied on the support from this forum, and me in particular, to get to sobriety with baclofen. just sayin'

[Mentium]

Edit: made the mistake of feeding the troll. Decided to delete my post.

Edit #2 Sadly before the troll leapt in and devoured even more ammunition. A lesson for us all.

[Spiritfree]

(Edit: this in response to SFs post above) As usual you are dead wrong you nasty piece of work. The forum you are referring to if you had read the thread properly instead of being so intent on garnering ammunition for your hateful unpleasantness, is there in case this forum ever goes down, given the lack of support, not to mention moderation that could get rid of the likes of you.

Separately I have been putting together a more substantial baclofen focused forum, however Ne and I have been communicating and cooperating, something you will have little experience of given how unlikeable an individual you are, and I am holding off until Ne and her friends have a chance to get their act together. If they don't I will be going live with mine later in December.

Personally I have rarely come across as nasty an individual as you on the Internet. You go mining for quotes and vulnerabilities that you can twist and turn and spin as verbal weapons against people who are often struggling and in need of positive support. You are a bit like a bully who finding a drunk unconscious on the sidewalk decides to give them a good kicking and then laughs about it.

You are on ignore, in case you are wondering, but that doesn't mean I will ignore your shit you unpleasnt excuse for a human being.

Ment -if you were sober, and I truly were on your ignore list, then you would ignore me. Right?

Ment -I will keep repeating the following over and over and over -whether you like it or not: Alcohol kills 88,000 people every year in the USA alone and that equates to 17 people per hour. I could care less about what you think about me and my methods of trying to help others. In fact, it is none of my business what your opinion of me is.

One thing is for certain, I have been at the place of near death with alcohol -have you? Ment, carry on and keep pretending that you are helping others by trying to belittle me. When all is said and done, you will find that the only person that can help you is.....well, you. You are going to be just fine Ment and one day when you are sober you will look back at all of this and wonder why you participated in such rubbish.

Cheers

[Mentium]

Please note my post above was deleted. Apologies for feeding the troll. I will not make the same mistake again. It is hard to fathom how anyone can have so little insight into their own behaviour though. I suspect he is the Internet, and possibly in real life too, the equivalent of a psychopath. I hereby commit to never responding to his posts. And in case he reads this I am perfectly sober.

[bleep]

Hey, and interesting about your experiment with baclofen. Others have posted, too, about having a honeymoon period when they stop, but eventually returning to drinking too much. Sorry to hear it's happened to you, too.

But, there is always the little pill that works wonders if we let it.

When you titrate back up, or in your case, take it by the handful, do you go to the same amount to reach indifference? Ed and I have gone up to 420mg (original switch at 320mg) and still drinking too much...

Generally indifference is at the same point, somewhere between 200 and 240. I normally try and change behavior at the same time, for example trying to spend Friday nights at home, to give it a kick, and that normally does the trick. I can tell it's starting to work when the thought of not going out on Friday becomes tolerable.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks, bleep.

This is not something I recommend, and in fact is stupid as sh*t so don't even think it constitutes something reasonable. I'm not sure I should post it at all. But this thread helps me keep track of stuff, so I will unless I hear that I shouldn't.

So for the last three days I've only taken 120mg of baclofen. (Prior to that I was taking 240mg). I have forgotten to take my last dose of 120mg...

Nothing untoward has happened. I know that 72 hours is kind of a turning point in terms of side effects, and effects in general. For me at least. So I'll see what happens over the next couple of days. If nothing happens, I'll stay at 120. If something happens then I'm a dumbass because I have no time to deal with any mental drama.

But I feel fine. Normal. No issues. No anxiety. And I would love to get down, down, down so that I can go up, up, up.

This is partly based on what Ameisen did. Some of you may recall that he'd been on a low dose of baclofen for a year or so. Then he titrated down to 30mg, then back up to find indifference at 2??mg. I can't recall exactly. (Knobert, my Ameisen expert, where are you friend?) He was completely sober during that time, and if I recall correctly, it only took him a month. (He once corrected me about that on this very thread. Talk about mortifying. Hearing from the Source that I screwed up. ha. Miss him.)

So that's where I'm at with that. I drank 8 beers last night, which these days is about normal I think and not particularly debilitating. Still sucks, don't get me wrong. I can't wait to be completely sober (and abstinent for awhile) again.

And even though this might not make sense to some of you newbies (and definitely not to people who don't use meds), I feel like I'm being rational and reasonable about all these decisions. (Well, except halving my dose overnight. Because that's just stupid. Don't do that, people. Really.)

[Lostinspace]

Ne - Good luck with your plan! It certainly can’t hurt. (Unless late onset withdrawal symptoms from halving your dose suddenly set in - let’s hope not!). When do you plan to start titrating up again?

[_serenity_]

NE, I've got to chime in. I adore you but I think your plan is really scary. If you were already at 240, and don't intend on titrating up for the time being, then stay at 240. It makes zero sense to go back down to 80. Last time you did that the results were disastrous. You just went down 120 mgs in a single day. You could be having seizures in the next few days from such a huge decrease. What you are doing sounds absolutely nuts and it doesn't make any sense. Please don't do this to yourself. Going all over the place with bac has never been a good idea, and it isn't a good idea now. I'm really scared for you. Please stay at 240 and titrate back up when you're feeling up to the task. :hug: :love: