Progress thread for ne

[Spiritfree]

Thanks, Kronk.

Yes, it is the same old stuff. We've battled the same issues for years because there isn't any moderation or administration on this forum. I've had enough.

I've actually been working on a new forum. I have created a gofundme page to pay for a real one...Not a free site, but a real actual forum with active oversight.

It's a little nerve-wracking. Kind of like throwing a party and wondering if anyone is going to come. I'm going to send emails and PMs for the Gofundme. I really hope you guys will come to the party and help me raise the money! (Fingers are crossed.)

Gosh. I've been off here for a month or so and there sure is a lot of the same old stuff going on. Ne, many pages back you asked for success stories. I started bac 12/12/12. I'm not sure of my stop date--maybe sometime in 12/15. I am thrilled with how I'm living. I truly feel that my brain has rewired and healed.

I don't think I'm always so good at describing how I feel but I'll give it a go. The last 4 or so months on bac I was anxious and wasn't able to settle myself. I drank very little and that wasn't an issue. After stopping bac I'm calm and have no desire to over drink or drink alone nightly. I may have a beer after a long run, but I no longer think of alcohol as an escape from stress, boredom or a bad day.

I started running which has helped lots. This led to better nutrition and better sleep habits. I'm not sure if I ever did much to make my life healthy before now. I'm grateful to Dr Ameisen for his book. Life's pretty darn fine. Thanks to all of you here who helped me.

..

[Mom21961]

Ne,

PM me the info please. Thanks.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Ne,

PM me the info please. Thanks.

I definitely will. I'll email it, too. I'm going to work on the Gofundme page one more time, tomorrow morning, and then I'll send it out. Thanks very much for responding. Seriously. I'm irrationally nervous about the whole thing. (I mean, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work! Right?! Not sure why I'm feeling so insecure.)

In other news, much more related to what we're all struggling with, I'm at 180mg of baclofen and the stuff works.

Two things: Beer just doesn't taste good anymore. I recognize that as the first sign that things are working. Doesn't mean I'm nearing the end, or at least it didn't last time. It just means that things are a-changing. I'm excited by it.

I promised my pdoc that I would more closely follow the prescribing guide, which is why I'm still at 180mg. I'm very glad I did, too. I have always maintained that it's not just milligrams, but also time. And guess what? It's at least true for me. If I hadn't agreed to that, I would already be taking 240mg (my goal for this week). Rushing it is just not a good idea. I know this. I'm glad I committed to being reasonable.

Hope all is well out there in MWO-land. All well here in Ne-ville. More on the Gofundme and the new forum tomorrow.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

selfish/selfless ying and yang need some tips

That's very confusing, Heds. Hope you're well.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I just watched this TED talk about addiction.

"The opposite of addiction is not [just] sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection."

Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong | TED Talk | TED.com

We need a moderated forum. One with administration that will take care of trolls and spam. Why? Because the opposite of addiction is connection. My connection, when I got sober, was in an anonymous online forum. This one. But this one is hopelessly broken.

Please help me fund a new forum, so we can make the connections we so desperately need.

Many of you will receive a PM with the information for the Gofundme page. That's where I hope to raise enough money to fund a professional forum for the first year.

If you are interested, and you don't receive a private message from me, please post here or PM me. I'll send you the link.

Thank you all in advance. I know we can make this happen.

[kronkcarr]

Thanks, Kronk.

Yes, it is the same old stuff. We've battled the same issues for years because there isn't any moderation or administration on this forum. I've had enough.

I've actually been working on a new forum. I have created a gofundme page to pay for a real one...Not a free site, but a real actual forum with active oversight.

It's a little nerve-wracking. Kind of like throwing a party and wondering if anyone is going to come. I'm going to send emails and PMs for the Gofundme. I really hope you guys will come to the party and help me raise the money! (Fingers are crossed.)



..

Hey, thanks. This way each post can be read twice. That'll make everyone's reading time twice as long.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

He even highlighted the important part for me!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

One day of fundraising and we're a third of the way there! Of course, there have been some very generous donations. Not everyone should feel as though they need to spend that much money! Every bit counts if we're going to make the goal.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Halfway to the goal! If you would like to donate, please feel free to email me at
NeRiley at gmail.com.

Thank you so much for those that have already made a contribution!

Here's the brand new Facebook page, too!

https://www.facebook.com/Baclofen-and-other-medications-for-the-treatment-of-addictions-577929845690521/?skip_nax_wizard=true

Obviously, it's a work in progress, but I will keep it updated with information related to baclofen and other medications. Feel free to friend, but obviously no need if you want (like so many of us) to stay anonymous. I just hope the power of social media will bring about the changes we need to see in the treatment of alcoholism and other addictions.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Lordy. It's so quiet in the med sections I can hardly stand it. Sadly, I don't have anything I'm feeling compelled to write about. But I will anyway.

Baclofen is working. I went up to 200mg yesterday and I only drank 4 beers. From noon until bedtime. Kind of unheard of. Well, at least since I started drinking against my will again... (Dec 2014. It's been a long time. Too long.)

Harrowing appointment with my therapist this morning. You know how some days you leave that hour, having gotten everything out in the open and it feels as though you're 10 pounds lighter? This wasn't one of those sessions. This was one of the ones where you go (I went) in thinking that everything isn't so bad, and then delved into a whole bunch of stuff that has just been secretly
weighing...
me...
down...

And now I'm sitting with it. The discomfort. The agitation. All the stuff of life that is uncomfortable.

pfffft. The weather doesn't help. I love the weather where I live because it can be blustery, snowy, sleety, disgusting on one day and then the next (like yesterday) is 60 degrees and reminds you that spring is coming. Problem is, today is a return to the day before. It's gray, sleety and rainy and ugh. Reflects my mood. Or vice versa. But even the dog doesn't want to go outside, and that is saying something!

Hope you guys are having a less self-imposed-drama day than I am. :-/

[kronkcarr]

"Self imposed drama"-- I like that phrase. It sure is true. I'm glad you're making strides both emotionally and with alcohol. Hang in there.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thanks, Kronk!

Feeling much better this morning. Drank a bottle of wine yesterday, though, so am a bit hungover and feeling like it's a step back instead of a step forward.

I do remember, though, that for me getting sober with baclofen was never a straight line. And yesterday really sucked with all the angst I was experiencing.

Most drama in one's life is, in my extensive experience with drama, self-imposed. I will never be the Dali Lama, that is for damn sure.

Hope today is a good one out in MWO-land! I'm going to create a new forum today! Very excited!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I have to write the terms of use today for the new forum.

I'm thinking of having just one:

Don't be an A$$hole.

But I figure I will have to refrain from using swear words on the very first page people see when they sign up. Still. It should be a rule, don't you think?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I vaguely remember this experience from the last time I titrated up on baclofen. Maybe some of you guys can relate? For several days, maybe even a week, I've wanted to get drunk and just can't.

Today, I want to drink, and just can't. Part of it is because I'm nauseous. Part of it, though, is that it just doesn't taste or feel good. I had my first beer at noon. Then around 5, I opened a bottle of wine. I'm on my second glass, 3 hours later. But I'm not sure why.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I am looking forward to waking up without feeling like I have to drag myself out of bed. But what I'm feeling right now is really disconcerting and mostly I'm just looking forward to bed.

Hope all is well out there in MWO-land.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I have heard from a couple of people wondering if the new forum is just for people who use baclofen. That is not at all the case. We are absolutely committed to sharing education, information and support for people who use any medications for their addiction. Or for those that are interested in it, for any reason.

I really hope that some of the people who have used Naltrexone, Campral and things like ibogaine will contribute their experiences, whether successful or not. It's imperative that all of the information is available for people to make their own decisions about ending their addiction.

Thank you to those who have contributed, even if they haven't used or couldn't take, baclofen. I really value your input and advice, in addition to the money you've given.

I am full of gratitude this morning. Hope you all are having a good day, too.

Ne

PS. It helps that I drank so little yesterday and woke up completely un-befuddled!