Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

hey ne very happy for you
Chin up ..don't let the pricks get to you .....I was gonna say cunts..... but you seem invincible to everything at the moment keep going you inspire beyond belief wish I could hugg you

Thanks, behan!

While I'm far from invincible, and definitely get my feelings hurt on occasion, I've been here WAY too long to let the occasional knucklehead get me down.

If I'm inspiring it's because the people around me are inspiring me beyond my wildest dreams. And I tend to dream big! Ha!

I'll consider myself hugged. And back at you!

:hug:

[Baclofenman]

.....I was gonna say cunts.....

Ha Ha - my favorite word - Nice and expressional - Said with a bit of aggression is when its at its most effective

Regards


Bacman

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I think it really depends on where you're from, behan. I'm not sure about the rest of the world, though I have heard that the Aussies use that word in everyday language.

C*nt is a really, really, really bad word here in the U.S. It's not something we use lightly, at all. Even fuck is polite compared to that word.

So I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that the moderator in question (and who knew there was one!? Not me!) is from the US...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Today's update for the fundraising campaign:

I can't believe we're 3/4 of the way there.
Some of you may have noticed that I edited the content to be more inclusive, and more reflective of the fact that we want this forum to be about ALL medications that treat addictions. Ending our addictions is the primary goal. I hope that anyone who is looking for information related to that goal, or has already ended their own addiction, will participate both here and on the forum itself.

[Baclofenman]

I think it really depends on where you're from, behan.

I would imagine from his username he is Irish or from Irish decendants

Regards


Bacman

[Ne/Neva Eva]

A quickie update about me and the forum.

We are getting ever closer to our goal (just over $1000 as of today!) and ever closer to the actual format of the forum. Thank you to the techie guru who is working furiously to set it up. And thanks for the $100 donation that took us over the big milestone! At this rate, we may even raise enough money for some marketing in the first year! Wouldn't that be something?

So I'm having that day-on, day-off experience with baclofen. Barely drank anything, then drank a bottle of wine, couldn't drink the next day, then drank some bourbon (ouch) and beers and even a glass of wine, I think. Then yesterday I found the glass of wine I poured for dinner so nauseating that I almost lost my cookies. A total of 3 beers yesterday from noon to 2200.

I'm dealing with two issues now. Common ones most of us know about, whether we're taking baclofen or not. I still want to "get out of my head" and get drunk. It's frustrating not to be able to do that. And the habit of opening a beer at lunch time. It's the thing to do, or what I've done for months now, so hard to get out of the mindset. And don't get me wrong, I'm still craving that first beer!

So onward and upward. I'm at 200mg. Tried to go up to 220mg too quickly, and felt very ill. I'll wait until the end of this week and then go up again. BTW, I've started taking more in the middle of the day and it definitely makes a difference. I didn't expect it to, but it does.

We're having friends over for dinner tonight who are vegan. The challenge of the menu was kind of exciting, but I really don't know how people can do that! No butter!? No chocolate or cheese?!! No thank you! They drink like fish, though. ha! (No offense to you vegan/vegetarian folks out there. I know you tire of hearing the same old thing. And I admire the commitment, 'cause it can't be easy.)

Hope everyone out there is looking forward to a good day/afternoon/evening! I know I am.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Check it out!

https://www.facebook.com/TheEndofMyAddiction/

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hulllooo out there!? Is anyone here? Feels completely abandoned.

Had a really great time with our friends on Sunday night. We both like both of them, and vice versa, which is really nice. The husband and I are a lot alike (a bit neurotic. Ha!) and our spouses are very laid back. It's funny how different our backgrounds are that we like each other so much. I do wonder what their reaction would be if they knew about this secret side of my life. They're both pretty straight-laced, though egads did we drink some wine! (5 bottles between the 4 of us! They were here for about 6 hours though.)

I wonder what they would think/do if I told them I was a chain-smoking alcoholic taking an off-label prescription medication? lol. The last time I told someone, she completely ditched me. Seriously. This is a friend from high school who reached out via FB. Turns out her mother is an abstinent (in AA) alcoholic and her husband was a heroin addict. I told her about the baclofen and my experience. We had plans to get together for an entire weekend. I was so thrilled to be back in touch with her! Then she cancelled the plans and completely stopped talking to me. It really hurt my feelings, but it was also eye-opening. There are very few people in my life who know about all of this, which is amazing (and sad) since it takes up so much of my time and energy.

My pDoc is convinced that until I "come out" I won't be able to be my full self and find my voice. I don't think she understands the implications of that, though.

Anyway. We have a new banner for the forum. It's the same one that is on the Facebook page. Someone else from here is working on a different idea so we'll have some choices. Has anyone checked out the FB page? What do you think?

We're $200 shy of the goal, with about 20 days to go. There are 4 or 5 people who have said that they were still going to donate, so I think we'll exceed the goal, which is SO GREAT! I have grand plans, now, for a website, some marketing and to start the advocacy with doctors this year instead of next...

Here's the link y'all. Don't forget, okay?

gofund.me/forumforbac

(Sorry to be bombarding people with this and with requests for moolah. I, and we, are just dedicated to making sure this gets off to a good start. I'm hopeful and very, very nervous.)

Much love and hopes for a contented sober day for everyone.

(Speaking of which, yesterday I drank 2 beers. All day. I'm going to try to get through today without a drink. It'll be my first in ages. Baclofen works. Thank all that matters. I was getting dispirited about it all!)

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Oh, and a HUGE thank you to the people that have already donated. You know who you are. Thanks so much for making this happen so quickly. It is amazing.

[Lostinspace]

Ne - I’m glad you had a good time the other night, but I’m sorry your high school friend was such a jerk to you. The preconceived notions that so many people have of what alcoholics are like, and how they should get clean, is really sad and aggravating.

I think it’s wise to question your pDoc about coming out - if “coming out” means what I think it does. Putting your name and/or your face out there on the internet makes you searchable to anyone, including potential employers. People shouldn’t discriminate because of that, but they do, and they would.

I have not checked out the Facebook group because I don’t have a Facebook account (I know, I’m the only one left on the planet), but I’m excited to see the progress in getting the new site together.

And I’m so happy to see that the bac is starting to work for you You’re still not at that high a dose, either (comparatively speaking to your old switch dose). Maybe you’ll hit the switch at a lower dose this time.

[Mentium]

Just my response to the idea of 'coming out . I think that is terrible advice. I was functioning dependent drinker right through the second half of my career. I coped one way and another despite that and was pretty successful in terms of getting to the top of my particular greasy pole. Admittedly career isn't everything, but if I had made my addiction public knowledge it probably would have killed it stone dead.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I cannot believe you don't have a FB account, Lis. HAhahahahaha!You are the the only one left on the planet.

I am hopeful that my switch dose is lower. But I'm having on-again, off-again days still. We'll see. I'm even considering adding Nal! But first I have some other stuff I need to deal with. The last couple of weeks have found me more and more reluctant to leave the house or interact with people...Not good. Am I getting depressed again?

I'm not thinking of coming out anytime soon, especially on the interwebs. Too many crazies out there. I'm as open as I'm gonna be (which is pretty open!) on this kind of setting, or on FB for that matter.

Admittedly career isn't everything, but if I had made my addiction public knowledge it probably would have killed it stone dead.

Oh, no doubt, there is no way I could get and keep a job as a nurse if they knew about my addiction and/or baclofen.

That said, my doc's assumption is that this is what my whole life is going to be about, and I think she's right...Eventually there will be a day. Maybe. I don't know. Roberta Jewell has never "come out" and she accomplished quite a bit. At the moment, my ultimate goal is to get a Psychiatric PhD in nursing that will allow me to treat patients and prescribe meds. But that's at least 5 years away...If I start now.

But my doc is also right in that there is something really weird about having such a compartmentalized life. I spend hours everyday on the internet learning about or writing about or thinking about addiction and none of my friends knows anything about it. It's like being active alcoholic. And I firmly believe that secrets kill us quicker than anything except the booze itself.

To another one of your points, Mentium, I was never very functioning when I was actively alcoholic. Not even close. Under-employed for most of my life, because my anxiety and the need to drink got in the way of everything. The last 5 years, and even now, are a gift.

I think that's another one of my doc's points. She knows my story and it's pretty compelling since I went from mostly dysfunctional to mostly functional, and even excelling in some things. By the way, I didn't know I was that dysfunctional, any more than I knew that I had an anxiety disorder!

But I hear you both.

(And for goodness sakes, thank you for posting! It has been like a cemetery in here.)

[kronkcarr]

Ne,

I was wondering about coming out and having a FB page. Mkinz and I were putting together a FB page for Evan but I was not willing to participate on it as myself. I wouldn't post on a page now either. I'm friends with people who have no need to know.

My close friends know about my experience with baclofen and some of the people I work with know about it too. I had a few experiences where people spoke to others when I asked them not to and that upset me. I also was able to direct 2 people to baclofen which was good.
For me it wasn't so much about keeping a secret as it was about me knowing whose business it was.

I was very functional at work also and nobody knew how much I drank unless they saw me at night. Your story is quite compelling because of the major changes you've made and are continuing to make.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Kronk, yeah, I'm unwilling to post anything about it on my personal FB page. I don't think that will ever change. I set up a new account as Ne Riley, which as far as I'm concerned is my name and nom de plume when it comes to baclofen and/or addiction.

I've had a couple of really interesting things happen in the last 24 hours, though. I reached out to my former employer (from 5 years ago, right before I got sober) and she is definitely not supportive. Another bridge burned. <sigh> I must say, this one is not totally my fault, though.

But randomly, someone I know through her reached out to me on FB. She is 4 months sober in AA! The connection is convoluted, and frankly one of those things that's too personal to share here because it's...personal. But it's weird and funny to have both things happen within a day of each other. And VERY unexpected that this person is an alcoholic. I had NO idea. I came clean (pun intended) to her, in a very non-specific way. But the only reason I wasn't specific is because she's brand new to sobriety and I'm not trying to mess with her program, you know? I mean, she's got 4 months for the first time in her life. I'm definitely not going to go off about AA (which I avoid anyway) or bring up baclofen. Too confusing! Don't you guys think?

[terryk]

I cannot believe you don't have a FB account, Lis. HAhahahahaha!You are the the only one left on the planet

Not the only one. LIS and I will have the last laugh when all of you bozos get rounded up by the Facebook/NSA/SKYNET gestapo one day....

How the NSA & FBI made Facebook the perfect mass surveillance tool | VentureBeat | Social | by Harrison Weber

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DeepFace

Facebook founder called users "dumb fucks" for entrusting him with their private information.
-tk