Announcement

**YouKayBee** · February 6, 2016, 04:19 AM

Originally posted by Ne/Neva Eva View Post

Thanks, again, Rusty. It’s not as though I don’t know these things. It’s been years since I’ve been to rehab, but I walked away from that place with an understanding of the importance of eating regularly and sleeping on a schedule. The mid-day walks around the football-sized field also helped a great deal.

But putting it into practice right now when my time is my own and I literally don’t have a single deadline or anyone to answer to? It’s tough. Even tougher when there’s the self-induced malaise that comes along with drinking daily…

I can’t expect the healed ones to relate to this. I know it wasn’t long before I forgot how stuck active alcoholic drinking can make one! I also can’t expect the sick ones to believe there’s a way out with baclofen (or other medications) when I’m stuck in active alcoholism.

It’s a quandary, but one I expect will be over soon. I can see the end, it’s just too damn far away and I’m not known for my patience. At all, ever. Ha.

I got Nal from my pDoc today. And spent two hours with her (which I do almost every week). I completely understand what you’re getting at UKB. Anxiety is at the root of it. That is a chemical malfunction in my brain chemistry, but it’s also a “lifestyle” that I’ve adapted to over the many years I’ve been alive.

I am delving into things that are both painful and enlightening. She is by far the very best therapist I’ve ever had. We use lots of exercises and tools to get to the nitty gritty of things. (And no, it’s not delving into what happened during potty training and all that jazz.) I’m discovering the different layers of me. Fascinating and scary as hell sometimes. And yes, for all you skeptics out there, sometimes it is very woo-woo, hippy-dippy crazy. Which fits me just fine! ☺ We also worked on my resume for an hour, which was a HUGE help. Gawd I love that woman.

But anyway, back to the point. I can’t wait to quit drinking because I feel as though you guys are exactly right: it is sucking the life blood out of me.

And make no mistake, it is very, very motivating to make sure that when the new forum goes live (March 1!!!) that I’m not still drinking against my will. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll go live with it if I’m still actively drinking alcoholically. I’m not sure I could stand the hypocrisy. We’ll see.

Drank several beers and a bottle of cheap champagne yesterday because it was all that was around. I don’t mind telling you that this morning sucked. Oh, and keep in mind I still can’t get drunk, so it’s not even fun. I know you feel my pain, Dun.

Today is looking better. I’ll start the Nal tomorrow or Sunday. Since I’ll be with my parents on Saturday, I’m not sure I want to start it then. I probably won’t drink when I’m up there. So Sunday is more likely.

Thanks again, everyone. Can’t wait to get to where you are! xxoo

Why wouldn't anyone relate to how it is when stuck in daily drinking, I've been there and it does me good to remember - because sometimes I forget and I don't want to forget where I've been, and how far I've come.

Potty training, no you don't have to do any of that. I got into recovery without delving, infact I was quite adamant that nothing had 'happened' to me, that my childhood wasn't the key, there wasn't an underlying reason further than I was just an alchie who liked to escape (from anxiety I dunno, self-harm was also part of it (the booze itself)). No delving wasn't required, and I hated it when it was suggested.

When the eating reared it's head again, and other things were happening in my life, which included some very relevant studies - how on earth that combination came together at the right time I do not know. It was then I saw the key. Doesn't mean I'm not anxious much of the time - I do get serious anxiety attacks which make me feel physically and 'mentally' ill, they also spoil a lot of things for me, and make things difficult for others around me, but I didn't know what they were, or that they were anxiety attacks.

Doing whatever it takes to get you sober, to a place where you can live again is all that's important. That's what I decided to do in January 2010, it took me 18 months to find the right answer after already eliminating a whole bunch of things over the previous 8 years, or at least the things that didn't work.

It'll come, and the 2 hour session sounds really nuturing. Very pleased for you.

**Baclofenman** · February 6, 2016, 05:09 AM

Hi Tim

I will be very interested in reading your daily updates - I am a newbie to tablet related intake to alieve the background issues that result in alcohol consumption

What I would say is - Are you sure you want to titrate so quickly - From what I have read you have gone from day 1 @ 40mgs to day 2 60mgs - Most of the stuff I have read (which is a lot) suggests maintaining a current dose for of a period of, circa 5 days - I appreciate there is a thought amongst some that if you have taken Baclofen before you can throw these guidelines out of the window - I have never been there but I think Baclofen needs to be treated with respect and as such titration is the key to A) effectiveness and B) reduction in SE

My golden rules are:

Not to deviate (too much) off my titration regime
Keep myself busy - Make list at the begining of every day (maybe Baclofen has not cured my OCD - lol) and acompish everything on it
Not to put myself in a position where the temptation to drink may overcome my newfound resilliance

Thats all - As I said I am new to this stuff - Far bigger souls have walked before me

Regards

Bacman

**Ne/Neva Eva** · February 6, 2016, 08:44 AM

Morning from Virginia, everyone.

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses.

One of the reasons that I stuck around here after I quit drinking against my will is because it was good to be reminded how much being stuck where I am right now sucked! All the more reason to treat alcohol with a great deal of caution...So thank you all for being here when I need it.

And you both, Rusty and UKB, are right, of course. Staying busy, staying on top of reasons not to drink, those play a part of it, too. The last time I did this, though, it was effortless to stop drinking. The problem is that I don't have the patience for a four month titration up to 320mg. I'm extremely annoyed by how little I'm getting done and how unmotivated I am. (Other than for the new forum, which at least gives me some daily purpose and I'm really, really excited about.)

I have the most amazing therapist I can't even describe how much I like and admire and appreciate her. We definitely talk about the things that happened when I was a kid, but only when it's relevant to what's going on now. It's great, too, that she's a physician, because she can clearly see both sides of it, the nature (chemical dysfunction of the anxiety) and the nurture (the fact that I've been this way my whole life and learned to live the way I do BECAUSE I have this chemical dysfunction. And of course, so do my parents. And my brother. And my grandparents on both sides. Y'all, I was born to be alcoholic, that's for damn sure.) (Unfortunately, I'm the one in my family that is the underachieving alcoholic. Everyone else is super successful. And they somehow, it's beyond me how they do it, manage their alcoholism around all the stuff they do. My brother has admitted to me though, that if could quit drinking he absolutely would. He hates it, just like all the rest of us do. And my parents are constantly reducing their intake and then finding themselves back at square one...We all know that drill...)

TIM! :love: Nice to see you my friend, though I'm sorry for the reasons. Dude, if you took baclofen the way it is prescribed you would not have the side effects you do. I know you know this so I won't lecture you on it. I will tell you that I did the EXACT same thing and titrated up too fast and had to go back down again. It's so hard to be patient...But really, please consider it.

Hiya, Bacman. Lists? I remember those. And I remember accomplishing the stuff on them. Right now, the only lists I work on are the ones you send me. ha!

I'm headed to my parents house today, and plan on it being the first sober day in a looooooong time. It's a 5 hour drive and my parents aren't drinking at the moment. Plus, they hate it when I drink. (It's very ironic and hypocritical. Then again, I'm the only one that has ended up in rehab repeatedly. Anyway...) I'm really looking forward to it.

Hope you guys have a great day!

**Mom21961** · February 6, 2016, 09:40 PM

Ne... :hug: I hope you get relief soon.

I was also very interested in Naltrexone and TSM in my pre Bac days, but I was worried it wouldn't work for me because I was drinking so much for so long. I also thought it would take a long time and I was desperate for help, but maybe I was wrong. Baclofen didn't turn out to be quick either. I think the combination might be good.

M

**Spiritfree** · February 6, 2016, 11:03 PM

Originally posted by Mom2JTx3 View Post

Ne... :hug: I hope you get relief soon.

I was also very interested in Naltrexone and TSM in my pre Bac days, but I was worried it wouldn't work for me because I was drinking so much for so long. I also thought it would take a long time and I was desperate for help, but maybe I was wrong. Baclofen didn't turn out to be quick either. I think the combination might be good. M

momTo3: You make some very good points:
(1) Baclofen did not work quickly for you
(2) You tried the moderation route with Naltreone and it did not work

The best combination that I can recommend to anyone is to quick drinking/drugging, stop playing games with the drug that is harming you, and get real medical help.
STOP listening to people who tell you that there is a nice, slow, easy way out of your addiction -that is nonsense, just ask momTo3

Do not die chasing an easy way out.... it just does not exist.

--sf--

**Spiritfree** · February 6, 2016, 11:11 PM

Originally posted by Baclofenman View Post

Hi Tim

I will be very interested in reading your daily updates - I am a newbie to tablet related intake to alieve the background issues that result in alcohol consumption

What I would say is - Are you sure you want to titrate so quickly - From what I have read you have gone from day 1 @ 40mgs to day 2 60mgs - Most of the stuff I have read (which is a lot) suggests maintaining a current dose for of a period of, circa 5 days - I appreciate there is a thought amongst some that if you have taken Baclofen before you can throw these guidelines out of the window - I have never been there but I think Baclofen needs to be treated with respect and as such titration is the key to A) effectiveness and B) reduction in SE

My golden rules are:

Not to deviate (too much) off my titration regime
Keep myself busy - Make list at the begining of every day (maybe Baclofen has not cured my OCD - lol) and acompish everything on it
Not to put myself in a position where the temptation to drink may overcome my newfound resilliance

Thats all - As I said I am new to this stuff - Far bigger souls have walked before me

Regards

Bacman

Bacman -thank you so much for your golden rules -I am quite sure they might help someone. One last thought; most every single alcoholic is OCD, so need to lol (lol). Now that balofen has cured you, I do not understand why you are hesitant to take a drink at any time. After all, you are now indifferent to alcohol -right? These are the type of posts that end up hurting people as I am sure that you do not know.
(With your new found resilience, is alcohol even a question for you now? Can't you just take it or leave? Is alcohol even a part of your new way of life and thinking? It has sounded to me like baclofen took all thoughts of using alcohol to change your thinking completely out of your mind? Just wondering?)

**idefineme** · February 6, 2016, 11:49 PM

in a word: condescending.
why are you so angry towards nearly everybody here? Why do you feel the need to be so provocative? Why? This is good food for thought for yourself. For some reason, I feel like you will come back in full defense mode. Just ask yourself ... why do you need to be so provocative?

**StuckinLA** · February 7, 2016, 12:06 AM

Seriously glad to hear about how much you're connecting with your therapist, Ne. Been there once, and man did it get me out of some dark places - just knowing there was going to be that time once a week to sort of rearrange everything else around.

Keep yourself busy, and enjoy the folks' place this weekend.

All the best to everyone else.

**Baclofenman** · February 7, 2016, 09:54 AM

There may be trouble ahead

SF