Progress thread for ne

[TimberTim]

No problem Lex. I'm not saying that anyone else needs to reveal themselves.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Tim, I'm guessing that you meant 40mg, not 400mg. lol. It really is so nice to see you here again, even though I know the reason sucks.

And yes, I can't wait to have the new forum up and running so we can share openly without the contention. Not long now, if I get back to work with it!

Glad you're going to take it slow and easy. I'm going to pick up the Nal today and will start it this afternoon, I think.

I agree, in a way, about the anonymity, too. I certainly don't want just anyone to be able to track me down, though. That's a scary thought, given the fact that this forum is open to the whole wide world of (possibly) crazy as hell people. It's bad enough we have to put up with one on this anonymous forum. Imagine having one show up on your doorstep?

So yes, anonymity is paramount in my eyes and I never (neva eva) share information about anyone's identity. But I share a lot just because it makes it more real. If Lo0p hadn't reached out to me all those years ago and invited me (and anyone else) to friend him on Facebook, I don't know that I would have believed the people here were real. (I was ridiculously paranoid at the time. As well as drunk. ha.)

[TimberTim]

NE, yes I meant 40mg. Although, I did venture to 400mg one time, just to see if it would make a difference. It didn't. I felt as stoned as I was at 300mg.

[TimberTim]

Oh, and I'm pleased to state that I exercise my 2nd amendment rights, so anyone coming here uninvited can know what to expect.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

I wouldn't know which end of the Second Amendment had the trigger and which was the scary end. However, we did have these two for a very long time. They weren't scary at all, but they sure did look it.

That's Bruno the Bruiser on the left and The Goose on the right. He was the brawn, she was the brains, just in case there was any doubt.

He also looked like he was going to eat you, but he was the gentler of the two.

The one we have now isn't at all scary and doesn't even bark at the postman. She barely bothers to get herself excited when the doorbell rings!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Man, I miss my dogs.

[TimberTim]

We have our own watch dogs too:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Tim, they don't look very ferocious, but if I'm not mistaken those are hound dogs and I bet they make a whole lot of noise! Do they really sleep on each other like that? That's very sweet.

[TimberTim]

They do! They're best buds. Molly and Rudy. Rudy is the white one. And yes they bark at the slightest noise.

[Spiritfree]

including "outing" me (exposing my identity)

You know, I only half understand the anonymity of this, or any forum. What is there to hide? "Hi, I'm Tim, and I'm an alcoholic". So what! Who cares? There are millions like me. What is there to "out", dude? I posted my own picture and where I live. For me, there is nothing to "out".

Unless, of course, Spirit Free has something to hide. Come on, man! What's the deal?.

Tim -thank you for your post. As you say, you do not really understand this 'anonymity' stuff. Tim, if someone is threatening to expose the identity of you, your family, your business, your homestead, your friends, your employers, etc., perhaps you may have a better understanding of what I am speaking about.

So yes Tim, I do have something to hide; my personal identity, especially for the sake of my family, my friends, my employers, and others. So Tim, man, here is the deal; expose all of your identifying information, use your second amendment rights to defend yourself, and then report back to us all how that worked out for you. Just a thought Tim....

[TimberTim]

Ha! Your a trip, dude.
Who said anything about "exposing all your identity"? Is someone asking for you credit card number? SSN? No.

If you read my post, I said I understand "half" of the anonymity stuff. I could care less about you, your family, friends, etc. Go do another bong hit your paranoid prick.

[Spiritfree]

including "outing" me (exposing my identity)

You know, I only half understand the anonymity of this, or any forum. What is there to hide? "Hi, I'm Tim, and I'm an alcoholic". So what! Who cares? There are millions like me. What is there to "out", dude? I posted my own picture and where I live. For me, there is nothing to "out".

Unless, of course, Spirit Free has something to hide. Come on, man! What's the deal?
.

Hey dude, thanks for for your previous reply. Dude Tim, I am glad that I have simply no interest in you or your personal information, so go ahead post your ss# and other info --and the show us how u use ur 2nd admentment right to stop the crimes against you occur. This is so stupid to carry on a conversation with a ..... Lol.

Hey dude, love ur post and pictures of your dogs. How cool.

[TimberTim]

Have a shit life, carl.
I'm out. Won't be back.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

So at the expense of having our Evil Spirit (or one of his lackies) show up and give me a hard time, I'm going to share my experience this week.

As many of you who read this thread know, I am still drinking daily, but it feels (relatively speaking), under control. And every week I seem to make more progress toward being alcohol free.

On Sunday I went to my parent's house where I can't get my drink on. Had one beer with dinner. On Monday afternoon I got home and didn't drink very much that day either.

On Tuesday, for some reason, the floodgates to hell broke down and I ended up drinking until 4 in the morning. Keep in mind, I am very rarely up past 10pm, and never after 11pm. For some reason, I finished all the Jack Daniels in the house and every single beer. I have no idea how much I drank.

I can't remember the last time I drank like that.

I emailed my pDoc at 2am and then again at 4am to tell her that I was drinking I wasn't going to make our 10am appointment. I remember doing this. I don't remember anything else.

I was (and am) very disappointed about missing the appointment, because I've got a lot to share with her and need her feedback on some very important developments I've had this week. We had texted back and forth on Monday and Tuesday and we were both looking forward to the appointment.

At about 1pm, I met Ed at the mall to do some much needed shopping for clothes for him. He was approaching me and stopped about three feet away and said, "Wow! How much did you drink last night?" He could smell me from that far away! It was oozing from my pores. I felt like I could barely walk, much less concentrate on making the outing fun. (He doesn't particularly enjoy shopping, so it's up to me to make it a good time. Needless to say, neither of us had a very good time.) I slept the entire rest of the day and night.

I don't have to tell you that I was full of regret and remorse and shame. Yesterday was one of the worst experiences I've had in years. It was a wake up call, too. I cannot take the risk that it happens again, ever. Not just because of the way it made me feel, but because my life is too precious to risk really fucking things up because of a bender.

I still haven't picked up the naltrexone from the pharmacy, but will do that today and start it this evening before my first beer.

If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't write anything. Everyone else, much love.

[dundrinkn]

I feel your pain, Ne. Go easy on yourself and get the NAL.

I am going to be off the sauce as of tomorrow. Not good at this trying to wean myself down. Hopefully I won't have a seizure. I have enough valium to make it easier. Taking next week off and will be in the mountains without any kid duties which will either make it better or worse. Sometimes a change of scenery helps. Sometimes not being busy makes it worse. I am on enough BAC and GabaP that once I detox (yet again) I shouldn't have cravings. It'll just be that mental mindgame/mind fuck thing. UGH!!!

Keep your fingers crossed for me folks.