Progress thread for ne

[kronkcarr]

Ne, it's taken me too long to answer you. My race is the second week in March in Sri Lanka. My stress level is off the charts. It's a lot just to get all my food, mandatory items etc together. Plus there's a weight limit on our bags. Work is busy because I've never left for 10 days. Plus some asshole stole my identity and is applying for credit cards all over the place. And he's getting them. This is a time when I'd love to just get drunk and not deal. Keep me in your thoughts.

[Mentium]

Haven't heard from Ne in a couple of days. We have been in regular contact over the new meds forum via email, but she has gone quiet this last day and a half. Hoping all is well.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Haven't read back. Sorry!

Crazy busy weekend started Saturday night and hasn't let up. I literally haven't been near enough to my computer to check in here. Will do soon, but maybe not today.

For those that I owe emails, it definitely won't be today.

Will catch up tomorrow morning!

Really sorry and much love.

[dundrinkn]

Kronk -- wtf. That sucks about the identity theft. How long is that race of yours? Wow. So cool though. Definitely will keep you in my thoughts. Good vibes coming your way...

[Rusty]

Hellooo!

Good for you for not drinking, congratulations on running in the race, and BUMMER about the identity theft!

NE-Just thought I would let you know that I "chatted" with Reggie on The Undies Thread this morning.:yay:

[Lostinspace]

kronk - I’m so sorry about the identity theft. What a huge headache to have to clean up. I hope you’re able to temporarily forget about it, and to get past the preparatory stress of the race, once you get on that plane, so you can enjoy the race. It sounds amazing. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts. Hang in there.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hello, all. Thanks so much for visiting here! Kronk, I'm really sorry about what you're going through. I imagine that the whole process is overwhelming. Hell, when I'm going away for the weekend it's stressful to get ready. And that's without all of the other drama! So sorry. Drinking makes everything much worse! I can vouch. :-/ I just googled it. It must be Racing the Planet? That is SO DAMN AMAZING. God. I'm so excited for you. I absolutely can't wait to hear about the race. Are you keeping a blog along the way? If you are and you don't want to post it here, will you share it privately so those of us that know you can follow along?

Stuck, I can't imagine how devastating it is to find freeze-burned fudge pops. But at least your identity wasn't stolen a month before you leave for the other side of the planet...

Lis and Dun, hiya!

Rusty, thanks for letting me know. Did you tell him I'm all bent out of shape that he disappeared and that he should reach out?

Menty, I'll be answering emails a little later today. I'm really, really sorry. Didn't mean to leave you (and everyone I owe emails to) high and dry. xxoo

I have some big, and not very good, news. Will write that in another post.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Sooooo...

Saturday night Ed's workplace was catering a really-big-deal event for a charity fundraiser. I spent the evening hanging out with the CEO of where he works and had a blast. Ended up going back to her house and drinking some amazing wine while chain-smoking on her patio and having quality girl time. Ed met us there and had a couple of glasses of wine. Then he and I drove home separately.

On the way, there was a sobriety check point. His boss had given us a bottle of wine, which he had sitting in his cup holder and didn't think to put away before we were stopped. (He was too busy worrying about me.) Unfortunately, he got pulled, refused the breathalyzer, and then failed the sobriety tests (after two 15-hour days at work and 2 glasses of wine).

He was arrested. Taken to jail. Then began the longest night ever for both of us. Slept a good part of Sunday away and then just tried to take care of Ed. I think he was actually suffering from shock. Like actual trauma-induced-shock. When I picked him up he was visibly trembling. He said it was because the jail was freezing. But he spent much of the morning and afternoon unable to get warm and trembling off and on. As soon as we got home, he took a hot shower, I gave him a valium, turned the heat up to 80 and put him to bed. A couple of hours later, he threw up for no apparent reason...He spent the day physically miserable and emotionally overwhelmed.

He's in big trouble, obviously. Can't drive for a week, so I'll be taking him to and from work and doing all of the chores that he normally does. Which is great, in a way. It means I have to start taking actual responsibility for running this household after months of not participating. But of course, the whole thing sucks. It's going to cost us a fortune, and he may end up with...God only knows what. Jail time? Losing his license? One of those god-awful blow-tubes that are just installed to rip people off of their hard-earned money? Who knows?

It's just devastating, honestly. But what are you going to do? Just put one foot in front of the other...

You guys that I owe some communication, bear with me. I'm still emotionally spent, and exhausted and suddenly busy with stuff outside of the house...But I will get back to you very, very soon.

Much love.

[Baclofenman]

Hi Ne

Sorry about Ed' experience - Send him my best from over the pond....

As you well know, I have been there and done it where drink driving is concerned - My guilt is one of the main reasons I chose to abstain (totally) from AL

The guilt and associated conditions that arise from being caught will pass - No one was hurt (maybe Ed' pride) but everyone lives to fight another day - Although in my instance this was not the case, it is rather like the breavement of a sibling - I have had both - It is something you learn to live with, adapt to, handle or becomes part of your journey - Whatever way you chose to allow it to happen

Yes loss of license is a pain in the arse but like the experience, you (as a couple) will adapt - It may look shitty initially but it will become part of your routine as time passes - I dont know what the US opinion on "failing to supply" is but it is probably worse than "a little over the limit"
How far does he work from home? - Can he not ride a bike (pushbike) into work? - I know people who ride 15 odd miles in and the same home to work - ok he might be a little "pungent" but its an option - There are other options Ne, loads of them - You have to adapt and if there is anyone out there who can adapt, its you

Ok - Jail? - Not sure what the rules in the US are but certainly here you are not even considered for Jail unless you are driving while already disqulified and even then you will need to have run over a bus queue or the like - It may be different but Jail is a little excessive for a stand alone DUI - A quick google shows a 1 year license withdrawal for the first DUI

I have no idea what a "blow tube" is - You know my sence of humour..................

Yes - One foot infront of the other - adapt, it wont be easy at first but it will improve

Sorry I got rudely interupted just now so I have lost my thread somewhat - If I think of anything else I will let you know

Regards


Bacman

[dundrinkn]

Oh Nooo! I feel so badly for Ed. Spend the bucks and hire and attorney who can figure a way out of it. There is almost always a way. It'll be worth it in the end. But I'm so, so sorry. Not that any of this is about me, but... it sure puts things in perspective for me. But again... that sounds awful all the way around and big hugs to you and Ed.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Thank you both. Yeah, we'll make it through it.

No, he can't ride a bike to work, though the thought is a funny one. It's about 20 miles of highway...You Europeans and your bike-thing. So unAmerican. Ha!

A blow tube thingy is something they make you hook up to your car and blow into before you can drive (and I guess while you're driving sometimes?) in order to make sure you don't drink and drive. Funny guy.

If he loses his license for a year...Oy. I don't even want to begin to think about that.

It does put things into perspective, Dun. And yes, we're hiring a very expensive attorney who knows everyone and everything. Hopefully there will be some sort of technicality and he'll walk (or rather drive) away from it all...Fingers and toes crossed.

[Mom21961]

Ne! I'm so sorry. :hug: to you and Ed. Hope everything turns out OK.

[Mentium]

Hi Ne. What a crap weekend! I hope things don't work out as harshly for your husband as you fear.

I don't say this to crow in any way at all but I have always had a rule never under any circumstances to drive, even after one drink. It is the wisest and safest thing. I know that doesn't help in the slightest at the moment so apologies.

Hoping things work out!

[lex]

... I have always had a rule never under any circumstances to drive, even after one drink. It is the wisest and safest thing.

Wise and safe indeed. And I had that very same rule. Yet, I got 3 DUIs over my 30-year drinking career. How? Well, when I would get drunk, I would often forget about that, and my other, rules.

[Lostinspace]

Ne - I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to Ed. Send him my best and my heartfelt sympathy. I got an aggravated DWI in the state with the harshest DWI/DUI laws in the entire US and even I didn’t go to jail (outside of the first night). So don’t worry about that. As hard as it is, try your best to wait until you talk to a lawyer before you worry too much about what’s going to happen. It’s hard to know what can happen just from looking at your state’s laws because I know where I live jail time is listed as a consequence for an aggravated DWI (BAC over 0.18). But I’ve heard from numerous reputable sources that no one goes to jail for DWI’s unless it’s their third offense (or higher, which technically they shouldn’t have since your license is revoked for life after three DWI’s). So anything that’s listed as a consequence under state law might be taken with a grain of salt or could be argued down (unless you hire my sh*tbag lawyer who got me the max). Anyway, I completely understand Ed’s feelings of trauma over the whole thing. It is a terrible thing to go through. Big hugs to you both, and I hope you guys start to have better days ahead soon :hug: