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    Progress thread for ne

    Ne/Neva Eva;1066378 wrote: You're right beatle. So are you lo0p. The truth lies somewhere in between.

    I was wrong and I apologize for saying that one titration protocol was "wrong." Very irresponsible of me.

    My concern is this: I (we) have given a great deal of weight and status to the opinions of one person. He has an MD behind his name, yes. He is willing to help us, which is HUGE. He prescribes for us, which makes him a hero in this struggle. (It's true.)

    There is another doctor. Dr. OA. His titration was and is radically different. It has been many moons since we discussed the approach clearly printed in his book and in his research.

    beatle and lo0p are the perfect examples of approaching this from opposite ends of the spectrum. One spent months titrating up erratically. The other spent a weekend taking baclofen as though it were candy. The best approach probably lies somewhere in between, of course. It's important to learn the lessons from you two. And I'm thankful that we don't have to follow your examples. However, those painful personal examples are very important for the rest of us. I am also grateful, Lo0p, that you have refrained from suggesting that the approach you took is a positive one. It might land a lot of people in dire circumstances. But I wholeheartedly agree with you, lo0p, finally. Too slow is just as bad as too fast.

    I like redhead's approach. She wants to take bac, find indifference. But because she's in it for the long haul she knows that she has to tweak her protocol in order to reach the goal and still continue to function.

    I also like Bruunhilde's approach. She can't take bac atm, and is going to look to taking care of the things that keep her from taking it so that if she decides to try again, she can.

    I am also profoundly moved by Edostan's post this morning. The beast gives a mighty fight before she/he begins to lurk quietly in the background waiting to rear her ugly head. Healing crisis indeed. Thanks edo!

    It is VITALLY important that we have this discussion/debate. I agree beatle, that the Titration Thread is not the place for it. That should be a sacred place for people to share what worked and why, and what they feel they could've done better. Newcomers can suss out what they will.

    NEWBIES: If you're unsure, find someone, pm them and they'll answer. I promise. Or better yet, start a thread or post somewhere and we'll find you and we'll ALL answer. I promise.

    We are but the first generation of high-dose-bac-takers. I include all those that have been treated by Dr. OA and others for the last 7 years in this category. By the tenth generation there will be a protocol. Optimism suggests that even by the fifth we might. In the meantime, let's do what we can to help those coming behind in this, the first wave.
    Thanks for helping me get clear in my own head about this.
    xxoo
    Karen/Ne
    This post says it all (about the status quo of titrating protocols). Thank you Ne.
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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      Progress thread for ne

      OMG Nev--
      So glad you are talking about the hubby drinking thing! All I can say is keep on keeping on (even though I'm just a newbie and I'm sure you don't need more random advice,) I AM an old (life years) broad and still have much to learn and give....

      One thing that has helped me recently is a really great book (not AA-ish, but very analytical-ish) called Happy Hours: Alcohol in a Woman's Life. Anyways, it talks about specific couple/family dynamics in a way that I had to put it down several times and wonder whether they had been bugging my house! Really good, specific info and real-life stories about the roles that each of us play in coupledom when 1)one drinks and the other doesn't 2)both drink and have always drunk together 3) everything in between. Made me really take a closer look at myself. Then turn the mirror over... ;-b Yikes!

      Have to laugh (not at, but with) about your worrying about moving in to the other bedroom, when I have moved in to another house in another state!--and we're still "together." Granted, we've been married 30 years and dated 11 yrs before that (don't do the math) ---just read that book and it might give you loads of insight, understanding of your dynamic with hubby and hopefully some "hope." Just reading your posts, I know you won't go down without exploring every avenue....

      BTW--whenever I tell any women I meet who've been married more than 10 years that my husband and I live apart because of his travel/work schedule, and that I see him every few weeks for a couple weeks--the reply is always, "That sounds PERFECT!" I would never really recommend it to anyone, and it has its drawbacks, but I have always been an introvert and able to spend a lot of time in my own company (even when I was not drinking)...And he can keep working his insane hours (his work is his mistress!) and not feel guilty about never coming home before kids were in bed. It was actually my oldest, 26yr old daughter who suggested the arrangement when she saw how miserable we were living together even though we still "love" each other and are soul mates....but sometimes if you allow yourself to think outside the box, many things are possible.....Just sayin' sistah...

      With Aloha,

      KT

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        Progress thread for ne

        Great post, KT, in fact, I think having separate bedrooms would be a prerequisite at the very least, much less separate states. Privacy is huge to me and I can't really stand anyone but my sisters for more than a few days. Is that book helpful for non-couples dynamics (parents, siblings, etc?). Thx.:goodjob:

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          Progress thread for ne

          Lo0p;1066533 wrote: How is it that I missed the 'fuck' day?

          You guys know I'm sooo damn good at it. I would've eaten it up!!

          Anyway, eminem is a fucking poet. :bow
          a fuckining poet (uch: it's even harder to write when the f day is over) who sells Chryslers.

          (Just saw the ad -- I don't live in the U.S., as you know).
          Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

          Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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            Progress thread for ne

            Sarah aka Neva :-),

            I LOVE your avatar and it is very appropriate. My ex was an alcoholic as was everyone I dated after him. It was a prerequisite - # 1 on your resume. You had to drink as much as me but never more:-)
            I, for one, will never judge you. I thought I wished things had turned out differently in my life but they didn't. For several years I questioned why....
            I would never have been here with you guys if I stayed. I would be drunk until the day I died.
            My life is on track now.
            Whatever path you take in life is yours; your TRUE friends will follow you. Don't worry about anything or anyone else but Neva. You were brave to post your feelings. I respect you immensely.

            Lady
            The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

            *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

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              Progress thread for ne

              Neva, your post almost made me cry. That's it, it's official, I have become a woman.

              The unexamined life is not worth living

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                Progress thread for ne

                Bruunhilde--
                The book (Happy Hours: Alcohol in a Woman's Life) was, for me, really eye-opening in terms of all family relationships. I had had many years of therapy, and thought I was so "evolved" in terms of understanding my family dynamics....HA! Once I'd started seriously drinking, I simply stopped thinking about the effects on my family, until the negative results of our interactions started becoming unavoidable....Even as I write this, I want to believe that my drinking went unnoticed by my kids, and didn't affect them, my in-laws and of course my husband. But as you probably know, trying to fly under the radar only works for so long...

                Anyways, I basically have NO answers for anyone, but always more questions---and usually seem to find pieces of the puzzle in books, books and more books...and love to pass those along to whoever might also glean a bit of wisdom along the way as well.

                PS, it goes without saying that separate bathrooms are also a must!

                Thx much---

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                  Progress thread for ne

                  Wow, friends. I woke up feeling humbled and in awe of this space that was created for us and by us. And profoundly grateful.
                  Even more so now.
                  Thank you.
                  This one is my favorites:
                  Murphyx;1066832 wrote: Neva, your post almost made me cry. That's it, it's official, I have become a woman.
                  :H but is also very, very sweet. Thanks Murph. Not trying to turn anyone into a pansy-ass candy-girl, ftr. Even my gay boyfriend is a big, burly guy with hair on his knuckles! (sorry gbf. you know it's true! But he can still rock a sequined evening gown and 3 inch heels when he needs to. )

                  Kona, my husband and I separated for a while. It ended up that we each had our own apartment about a block and a half apart. Far enough that I had to actually walk/drive by to make sure that he was home (alone) at night, but we couldn't and didn't really keep tabs on each other, especially after we settled into the arrangement. It was fantastic. I 'dated' my husband. We didn't have to worry about his incredibly long hours at work. Made time for each other, took walks, it was very romantic. Didn't drink together, though we both knew that we were doing it when alone.
                  It was very expensive! And I wanted a home where we could entertain, and this place was finally available, and it's perrrrfect. Needless to say, we haven't really had company for the last couple of years, and the dynamic isn't really working atm!
                  That said, and this is the last I'll say about him, here. (I woke with Ig's voice in my head admonishing me for being so disrespectful and he would have been right!)
                  The first post, about his good qualities, and the last, about what it's like to live with an alcoholic, are not in fact diametrically opposed. It's probably true for many of us. We're probably pretty fun, interesting or whatever people with this common disease. A lot to love, and a lot of love to give. The fat lady hasn't even entered the building, much less started to sing.

                  I'm taking a paltry 240mg/day! Sleeping soundly through the night. I have been in the habit of white-washing my SEs for oh, a couple of hundred posts now. But they are actually and truly very minimal at this point. The nasal drip/congestion is still a pain. My skin is still dry (but weather related, mostly I think.) Large quantities of fish oil actually do have a really positive impact on that! (thx!) I am still very cautious about adding other things to this cocktail, for many, many reasons. I only take a multivitamin, fish oil, cholesterol meds, and vitamin D. Anything else *may* interfere with the beloved bac, and I can't chance that.
                  [Aside, because I think this is important. When you look at the contraindications for meds/ or the SEs listed on the info about bac, please keep in mind that noone, anywhere, is taking into consideration the amount of baclofen we are taking. The FDA approval is up to 80mg/day. Those recommendations are based on that paltry sum. Everything else is uncharted territory. Literally.]

                  Still have trouble following a conversation if it's unrelated to this! But I think that has more to do with the fact that I am amazed and enamored with this little thing called baclofen and this big thing on mwo. Everything else seems very trivial in comparison. Also, baclofen and sobriety offer a little clarity. It's hard to get my panties in a bunch about bosses who suck, or lovers who come and go, or whatever.
                  Which is also a reflection of where my mind is atm, of course. I am still happy with the fact that my dishes are clean. The laundry is done. I have the ultimate resource: TIME!

                  I'm still skype-less, ftr. I apologize for not following up with some of the things I was meaning to do yesterday/last night. Today isn't looking any better. It's on my radar, and I am anxious and eager to follow up! But today is going to be busy. I really miss spending Sundays in my pajamas!!!
                  I have a job interview in 7 hours! And a fancy event to go to tonight (maybe.) And too much in between to even go to the bathroom. (So American, bragging about how busy, busy we all are! Whatever, Ne. Go buy some organic local whatever and stop by Starbux drive through on the way, and eat a big mac for goodness sake. In my little honda with granola-y bumperstickers all over the back. sheesh. I even annoy myself.)
                  Say hi to newbies for me today, because I'm going to try to be present in these four walls!
                  :ls and :h

                  EDIT: Sarah Connor rocks. Talk about eyes on the goal! Save the world and all that! I should've saved her for when I needed to pull out the big guns, but she's okay for the moment. Who knows? Maybe it's time for the big guns and I don't know it yet. It's going to be a trying week.
                  The av thing? Google images, my friend! LOVE it!
                  beatle, you can't even spell 'fuck'! Which is just fucking funny. I LOVE you. If you edit it I will be seriously pissed off. (angry, not drunk, british people)

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                    Progress thread for ne

                    Neva,

                    I am up and I want to reply or I will totally forget. The nasal drip was definitely my most annoying se after my 2nd pill. I still am not sure if it was the Bac because the weather has been crazy here.
                    I was using an over the counter nasal spray which made the symptoms subside for a few hours. My doctor on Tuesday told me I was prolonging the symptoms by using that spray more than 3 days (that was day 9). She put me on a prescription nasal spray and after Thursday the aggravation (sp?) went away. I also titrated up on Friday, so not sure, but something finally worked. Hope this helps.



                    Lady
                    The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

                    *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

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                        Progress thread for ne

                        Ne/Neva Eva;1066914 wrote: Neva eva got a 30 day chip in AA, ftr. In all my years there, I never made it 30 days. Here's hoping.
                        I think I threw away my 6 year coin, but I've got a 2 year one handy. PM me with your address and I'll get it out by the end of the week.
                        Stan... Edo Stan... "shaken, not stirred"

                        Started baclofen on February 16th. Now at 210mg divided into six doses per day. You do the math.

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                          Progress thread for ne

                          Karen, I'm totally digging the avatar!! I think you should keep her, she's such a badass.
                          Really great post - I hope your interview went well!!

                          Kona, I might check out your book rec also. Maybe it will help me with my family relationships (they all still drink). And the relationship with your husband DOES sound perfect, and this is coming from someone who has never been married. Though I did live with somebody for a few years recently. And I found out that living with someone just doesn't fit my personality, I need a lot of quality me time. Not many people understand that and can accept that.
                          Separate bedrooms (and of course separate bathrooms, that's a given!) might be do-able.
                          Better Living Through Chemistry

                          Switched at 180mgs of Baclofen on 1/31/11, and again on 10/8/11 at 200mgs.

                          Could've been a swan on a glassy lake, could've been a gull in a clipper's wake. Could've been a ladybug on a windchime, but she was born a dragonfly.
                          ~Clutch

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                            Progress thread for ne

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                              Progress thread for ne

                              All I'm going to say is that I agreed with the feeling of your original post. I've had the same private messages too, and it's a real pity that there are others suffering side effects who feel they can't get support here.

                              What I also agreed with was that it can feel is as if these side effects are trivial. Threads about fun side effects, sexual performance etc whilst intended to laugh at and make light for some, can actually cause harm for others. As I say the intention will be one of light-heartedness, but I'm afraid that doesn't work for everyone. Some do have serious issues in their lives, not everyone has a 'standard' life or can bluff their way along. Not everyone lives with a partner or has a salaried position. Some also have jobs were to be somnolent, or forgetful can have very serious consequences. I know a lot here want to laugh it off because Baclofen has helped them so much, but it can create an atmosphere where people who are really suffering feel they won't get any support or will be laughed off. I've had some serious concerns which for many members, would be trivial but have reigned in from posting. I don't feel it's fair to go back and edit stuff all the time, that isn't representative at all. I was guilty of posting daft things in the past and I've started again. These days I rarely edit, and then it's only to add further information.

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                                Progress thread for ne

                                Whatever. jesus.

                                I get many more private messages that are inspired by us, or inspiring.

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