Progress thread for ne

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1105362 wrote: Do you think it's possible to have this discussion (an actual dialogue) on the consolidated thread?
I was kinda hoping we could keep talking about that song...:upset:

Tool: Lateralus wrote: I embrace my desire to...
I embrace my desire to...
feel the rhythm,
to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow,
to feel inspired,
to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty,
to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral,
to swing on the spiral,
to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.

I mean...damn...

Bruunhilde;1105208 wrote: Drinking while "cured" is a constant question for me - I would LOVE to do that, and I try and it caves me usually. Isn't it unrealistic an expectation? I know you bac'sters are saying "dat dunt apply to me"...

You kind of have it backwards. You might think you'd LOVE to do that now, but that's exactly what baclofen takes away (the LOVE, the allure). So I guess yes, it would be kind of an unrealistic expectation or a bit of a paradox from your perspective.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

This is an email I sent this morning:

Thank you for the email!
As to the fears... I have them. We all have them. But the truth and the reality is that baclofen is not addictive. There is no high. At least not one that lasts! And the ones that I've experienced were disconcerting, to say the least. And also probably a result that I dosed very erratically. Taking too much or too little too many times. I am so thankful that I reached the goal, against all odds, honestly, given the mistakes I made.

I am so heartened by ___'s experience and the experiences of a couple of other people I'm communicating with that aren't on MWO. I have to tell you that I fear for the bac-ees on MWO. It feels to me that we are outnumbered at the moment by nay-sayers and people shouting about the dangers when they have NO real information. None, ___. And several of them (none of whom are actually taking bac, or have taken it exactly the WRONG way) are posting drunk. So misinformation posted from people full of fear and anger about the fact that they cannot or will not look to bac spread from drunk people. I suppose that's the nature of internet forums.

But I despair. I have played my part in it to be sure. It undermines the credibility of bac efficacy, apparently, every time I post a doubt or mention that I drank a beer. When that is not the point at all. It also feels very unfair that I can't do that without being bombarded by the negative-Nellies and those unwilling to do what needs to be done to get healthy. I, like everyone else, am just looking for feedback from people with similar experiences.

There are three people that have reached indifference that are no longer posting or even lurking on MWO because of the drama and silliness and outright lies. I'm afraid I may soon join them. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up the fight though, and abhor the fact that others may lose their battle and their lives because of the lunacy.

I wanted to make you aware because these people are now running the meds threads and I don't want you to lose heart. When I'm a little less angry about the two emails I received from 'friends' who were drunk when they wrote them... I'll post. In the meantime, please know that it works. KNOW that. It's not dangerous. ___ is in good hands. (Can I send her doctor a letter? He's one of my heroes. Seriously. That's simply amazing. I'm going to share that story (anonymously) with my new therapist and soon-to-be-psychiatrist.)

All my best, ____. Eyes on the goal, my dear friend. It is a gift that is unimaginable. Truly.
Love,
____

Just sayin. :upset:

I also sent three other emails. To people (two women and a man) who are taking bac, not on MWO and finding the differences incredible and awe inspiring. It is awe-inspiring to share their journey.
My husband, now on 160mg/day with a reasonable dosing schedule, planned out and maintained with forethought, is doing wonderfully. Going to bed sober-ish. Navigating the incredible stresses he has going on at work with an ease that astounds me.
I registered for the classes I'm actually going to take yesterday. I've been saying for several years that I was going to return to school. Somehow it never worked out. Somehow it is now. The only difference? I'm sober. On bac. Not depressed, despairing or most importantly, craving. I just don't care about alcohol. If you don't get it, you don't get it.
I drank a beer last night. I might drink another sometime in the future. It would be nice to be able to post that and hear what others have to say about it, without having to digress into whether or not that means that bac works. Whether it's a cure. Whether it makes you crazy.
If you're going to assert something on this thread, back it up. Bac doesn't cause people to "stroke out." It doesn't cause car accidents. ALL of the SEs are manageable unless you're a ____ ____.
Bac doesn't work if you take it willy-nilly. It doesn't work prn. It doesn't work to take 25mg prior to the witching hour one day and then 50mg the next. ** Lo0p, my friend, it doesn't work if you drop 300mg and find some sort of hallucinogenic-inspired-God. ***
I miss Murphy and Serenity and Low and all of the others who just couldn't spend another minute fending off the bull shit.
If you want to take campral, or inject hormones, or steroids for goodness sake, or put yourself on a diet that is so restrictive that a dog would find it difficult to think about anything other than food, so be it. If you want to find a solution one-day-at-a-time, with supplements, with a little of this and a little of that, I'll support you or keep quiet. I've been doing it for months.

If you want to find out about the solution I've found, about MY WAY OUT, I'm here. Lo0p is here. Bleep. Redhead and Redthread. Chi. Tiptronic. TerryK. Reggie. We're not anomalies and there are many, many more. We're free of the disease and the burden. We don't know what to call it yet, but we will. And soon. I'm not going anywhere.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...fen-47958.html

Ne
**It doesn't work if the intention is to find indifference.
***Unless you're very, very lucky. Lots of fallen soldiers and ER visits attest to the tribulations of taking too much bac...

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Doggygirl,
I'm not sure that you know how unique and incredible you are. A woman who found sobriety with support from MWO, but on her own and on her own terms.
A woman who is looking for answers, seeking them objectively and conscientously, so that she can help others.
A woman who inspires many of us who are finding very different and difficult ways out.

I don't think you've got a thread, and I didn't know where else to put this. (Will you start a thread? Or link up to one you have? Your story is also awe-some. )

Thank you.
Ne

[Zephra]

Progress thread for ne

Ne, I for one am so glad you are staying. I feel quite alone doing this Bac thing and your posts really help me. So I just want to say thanks. z

[bleep]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1106066 wrote: Doggygirl,
I'm not sure that you know how unique and incredible you are. A woman who found sobriety with support from MWO, but on her own and on her own terms.
A woman who is looking for answers, seeking them objectively and conscientously, so that she can help others.
A woman who inspires many of us who are finding very different and difficult ways out.

I don't think you've got a thread, and I didn't know where else to put this. (Will you start a thread? Or link up to one you have? Your story is also awe-some. )

Thank you.
Ne

Hear hear.

[beatle]

Progress thread for ne

hear hear to everything Ne says. (Doggygirl, of course (although that could be applied to Ne))

But I mean to all that came before it, too.

now I'm over and out for 48 hours.

Hear, hear again Ne.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

DAMMIT!

I forgot Isolde AGAIN.

ISOLDE, ISOLDE, ISOLDE.

Indifferent since the day she was indifferent.
It's all in her signature. :H

The voice of reason and ration (and looooooove atm.:H)

If you want a mentor, and you're looking for someone with a very pragmatic, but thorough, understanding of bac, please pm Isolde. Especially if you're a chick. She's not only indifferent, she's really cool. And I'm guessing you're here to stay, too, Is. Right?

:h you. It won't happen again.
Ne

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

For 9 months I took 150-350 mg/day in one dose at 2pm and it worked perfectly, less so when I was on the lower end of that spectrum. There was no hallucinogenic-inspired god and it did work. Tip also switched his dosing around so that he took it in one dose everyday. It worked for him.

The only reason I stopped doing that is because I got a job and mistakenly started taking it in the morning/evening or whenever I had a work shift for anxiety. I now have my anxiety under control and am going to switch it back if I can.

No more turds in my morning coffee please :argh: , especially from you (of all people). Listen to some more Maynard and try to keep an open mind dammit.

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1106079 wrote: she's really cool.

She's alright, I guess...I mean...if you're into drop dead gorgeous girls that are smart as a whip, actually challenge you intellectually and know you so well they can read your mind ...then yeah, she's okaaAay.

edit: she could definitely use a little counterweight in the pragmatism department though...

[Doggygirl]

Progress thread for ne

Thank you very much for the compliments Ne & friends. Please know that I am not unique nor incredible. Whatever I have, I got by watching others who have it. And asking how they did it. And doing what they did. And tweaking it to work for me. And trying to pursue positive growth each day. (some days are clearly better than others LOL!) And paying it forward.

That is exactly what you are doing. And you will grow and change with time too. My thoughts and opinions and behaviors today are different than what they were a year ago. All I can do is share my experince (and strength and hope) among my fellow alcoholics. Maybe it helps someone. Maybe someone is inspired on occassion to want to know what it working for me. Maybe someone asks for advice. And maybe not.

I think the more you get comfortable just posting your experience (and strength and hope) the less the other chaos that happens on the forum (and in real life aka AA meetings) will bother you. After all, we are all alcoholics (or recovering / recovered alcholics) so insanity is just part of it. I have learned to never "threaten to leave" MWO. Because I always want to come back. I need to GET the support here as much as to give it. I hope the people who are currently away decide to come back. I have taken plenty of "breaks!!!"

Anyway, enough philosophical crap for today. (I can hear your sigh of relief all the way over here! :H) I am so glad you are going back to school and exploring everything life has to offer. You deserve it.

DG

[redhead77]

Progress thread for ne

I've been thinking about our chronic disease and others. You know many chronic diseases are curable with proper lifestyle changes. Diet, exercise and supplements, are a few that come to mind. Most of us won't be cured with those alone, but who knows? We bacsters may be doing exactly that. Maybe after a period of time, our chronic illness will become cured. Here's to hoping. I know I'm not going anywhere in the meantime. This drug is doing amazing things for my life.

Bleep, I'm able to look at both sides of the argument, as well. It's reciprocal (sp?).

Ne, thanks for the reminder of all that are around. I forget when the threads become quiet and people fall away, there are a great many left. And you the precious newbies. You are very important!

[Isolde]

Progress thread for ne

Thanks for the shout out, NE!! It was actually worth you initially forgetting me just to get my own post! :H With big bold letters and everything!
Of course I am here to stay. I may not post as often as I used to, but I am always lurking! And I'm more than happy to help out anyone that reaches out to me.
:h you too, Karen!

Lo0p;1106090 wrote:
She's alright, I guess...I mean...if you're into drop dead gorgeous girls that are smart as a whip, actually challenge you intellectually and know you so well they can read your mind ...then yeah, she's okaaAay.

edit: she could definitely use a little counterweight in the pragmatism department though...
Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn Lo0p, way to flatter a girl! :h
As to the pragmatism, I believe NE was just talking about it so far as bac is concerned! But maybe you have an idea of where I might be able to find a counterweight for the rest of my (apparently heavy-handed) pragmatism? Maybe I need some help with my third eye chakra..

redhead77;1106142 wrote:
This drug is doing amazing things for my life.

I couldn't agree more, Red! I feel like bac has truly been a stepping stone for me to start living the life I was always meant to live. There's so much to look forward to now!

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Isolde;1106229 wrote: Maybe I need some help with my third eye chakra..

Funny you should mention that, I'm a very balanced individual (contrary to popular belief) and my Third Eye Chakra is the most open of them all:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Omg. you guys are making me nauseous.

sheesh.

Folks, I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that we have our first MWO meds thread couple.

ain't it sweet?

I take full credit. Thank you very much. ;-)

[Winks]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1106294 wrote:
Folks, I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that we have our first MWO meds thread couple.

You mean you and Lo0p? Not news to anyone. Also, not the first. Not by a damn sight (five years or more).