Progress thread for ne
Hiya fellas.
This might not be exactly the right time to tune in to this melodrama, but each to his/her own. I gotta say it's a lot easier to write on this thing when I'm pretty sure that noone is reading it, despite evidence to the contrary.
(Specific questions are welcome of course, if they come up...)
So welcome, thanks for the shout out. It means more than you know.
Mario, I dogged your thoughts for a good long while. I can't tell you how insightful and thoughtful I find much of what you share despite the fact that our paths out are so different. Power on, my friend. And thank you.
Guitarista, I havent' followed you around the boards the way I have Mario and some of the others in General, but I appreciate your input, too. And LOVE your signature.
The 30 days? That's kind of funny actually. I don't know how to explain this to people who don't take bac or are on their way up the ladder... I went down far enough that booze started to sound good, I guess. A beer or a glass of wine was all I wanted, and I didn't and don't think it was a 'threat.' Rather it was a treat. But now that I'm back up to a proper level, I have no urge or interest again. It is amazing to me, truly, that I have not had a beer or a thought of one in the last couple of days. Circumstances would certainly dictate that I 'need' one.
The circumstances are these:
We had a meeting yesterday related to Ed's job. It was ridiculous. I'm so glad I had on my reasonableness because if I hadn't I would have been completely outraged. I'm even more grateful that I am not a shame-filled drunk, because then I might have been cowed by the arrogance and effrontery with which we were met.
I have no idea how we're going to come out of this mess, no idea whether or not it will result in continued crisis and putting out fires. But actually, I do know. It won't. Even though it's 'unfair' and we have no real recourse to address the unfairness of it, it's soon to be over.
Because Ed, and Ne, and We are all that matters and Ed is suffering mightily at the hand of those bastards. They had the nerve... oy. whatever.
When in bed this morning, waiting for the clock to say 4am so I could get up (guard your sleep bac-ers!) I started to bemoan baclofen. Woe is me! Us! I can't believe what I invited into our lives! :H That's just flat out fucking funny. Faced with this kind of stress, given the way we used to find relief, Ed could very well be in jail. (again) The financial/professional repercussions would've been devastating beyond belief, the legal woes just beginning. And if it didn't result in jail it could have resulted in something much, much worse. I'm free of that. Ed is well on his way. This is far from rock bottom. This is called life, and we'll meet it on our terms. I am so unbelievably grateful that I can't begin to describe it in words. I'm also a little scared and overwhelmed. Apparently it's not an SE of bac to make everything A-OK. It just makes it easy to find A-OK if my eyes are on the goal. And they are. One of the looming goals is to own a new MacBookPro. With all of the accoutrements. I'm not kidding. I start school in 17 days and I want to start it with the tools that I've chosen. I'd ask you to cross your fingers and say a prayer, but I think I got this. It means, in the immediate future, that we can't face financial insolvency. I've got too much to do to deal with that!
Ed is recuperating. There were signs of life yesterday (he laughed a couple of times, slept and ate.) We're going to level out the bac and find a comfortable place for him. Remove the anxiety and all will be well again.
I have much more to be grateful for. Namely this forum, these threads and the people in them. I received incredible support and information yesterday. Thank you all. This place does indeed have a soul and a character and a future. I am so grateful to be here.
On a tangent, I googled Pristiq (an AD) last night in an effort to further understand SEs of that drug because it's the one we'll be employing as subterfuge. I suggest you read them, if you're on the bac journey. They sound remarkably, EXACTLY like what we go through. It was a bit shocking, actually. One of the things worth noting is that some of the SEs are related to low sodium levels. I happen to know that I developed low sodium, because of my preponderance of blood tests in the last year! I didn't make the correlation to bac, but something Bruunhilde said on a holistic thread about the fact that she also had low sodium piqued my interest. So I added salt back into my diet.
If Pristiq lowers sodium levels which leads to all kinds of SEs, and some really awful ones, the same ones we experience on high-dose-bac I wonder if there's a correlation. (hallucinations, delirium, irregular heart beat and many, many more...)
Things to ponder. In the meantime Ed is going to be eating a lot more salt in the next few days.
To take the tangent even further astray, I was heartbroken to read some posts on meds forums from people who take Pristiq. They are looking for a way out of their hell and are mostly met with silence.
It reinforced the beauty of what we have all created here. A safe place, open to all and sundry who can google, to find support, camaraderie and non-medical advice. :H
Cheers, mates!
:ls and real :h
Ne
Hiya fellas.
This might not be exactly the right time to tune in to this melodrama, but each to his/her own. I gotta say it's a lot easier to write on this thing when I'm pretty sure that noone is reading it, despite evidence to the contrary.
(Specific questions are welcome of course, if they come up...)So welcome, thanks for the shout out. It means more than you know.
Mario, I dogged your thoughts for a good long while. I can't tell you how insightful and thoughtful I find much of what you share despite the fact that our paths out are so different. Power on, my friend. And thank you.
Guitarista, I havent' followed you around the boards the way I have Mario and some of the others in General, but I appreciate your input, too. And LOVE your signature.
The 30 days? That's kind of funny actually. I don't know how to explain this to people who don't take bac or are on their way up the ladder... I went down far enough that booze started to sound good, I guess. A beer or a glass of wine was all I wanted, and I didn't and don't think it was a 'threat.' Rather it was a treat. But now that I'm back up to a proper level, I have no urge or interest again. It is amazing to me, truly, that I have not had a beer or a thought of one in the last couple of days. Circumstances would certainly dictate that I 'need' one.
The circumstances are these:
We had a meeting yesterday related to Ed's job. It was ridiculous. I'm so glad I had on my reasonableness because if I hadn't I would have been completely outraged. I'm even more grateful that I am not a shame-filled drunk, because then I might have been cowed by the arrogance and effrontery with which we were met.
I have no idea how we're going to come out of this mess, no idea whether or not it will result in continued crisis and putting out fires. But actually, I do know. It won't. Even though it's 'unfair' and we have no real recourse to address the unfairness of it, it's soon to be over.
Because Ed, and Ne, and We are all that matters and Ed is suffering mightily at the hand of those bastards. They had the nerve... oy. whatever.
When in bed this morning, waiting for the clock to say 4am so I could get up (guard your sleep bac-ers!) I started to bemoan baclofen. Woe is me! Us! I can't believe what I invited into our lives! :H That's just flat out fucking funny. Faced with this kind of stress, given the way we used to find relief, Ed could very well be in jail. (again) The financial/professional repercussions would've been devastating beyond belief, the legal woes just beginning. And if it didn't result in jail it could have resulted in something much, much worse. I'm free of that. Ed is well on his way. This is far from rock bottom. This is called life, and we'll meet it on our terms. I am so unbelievably grateful that I can't begin to describe it in words. I'm also a little scared and overwhelmed. Apparently it's not an SE of bac to make everything A-OK. It just makes it easy to find A-OK if my eyes are on the goal. And they are. One of the looming goals is to own a new MacBookPro. With all of the accoutrements. I'm not kidding. I start school in 17 days and I want to start it with the tools that I've chosen. I'd ask you to cross your fingers and say a prayer, but I think I got this. It means, in the immediate future, that we can't face financial insolvency. I've got too much to do to deal with that!
Ed is recuperating. There were signs of life yesterday (he laughed a couple of times, slept and ate.) We're going to level out the bac and find a comfortable place for him. Remove the anxiety and all will be well again.
I have much more to be grateful for. Namely this forum, these threads and the people in them. I received incredible support and information yesterday. Thank you all. This place does indeed have a soul and a character and a future. I am so grateful to be here.
On a tangent, I googled Pristiq (an AD) last night in an effort to further understand SEs of that drug because it's the one we'll be employing as subterfuge. I suggest you read them, if you're on the bac journey. They sound remarkably, EXACTLY like what we go through. It was a bit shocking, actually. One of the things worth noting is that some of the SEs are related to low sodium levels. I happen to know that I developed low sodium, because of my preponderance of blood tests in the last year! I didn't make the correlation to bac, but something Bruunhilde said on a holistic thread about the fact that she also had low sodium piqued my interest. So I added salt back into my diet.
If Pristiq lowers sodium levels which leads to all kinds of SEs, and some really awful ones, the same ones we experience on high-dose-bac I wonder if there's a correlation. (hallucinations, delirium, irregular heart beat and many, many more...)
Things to ponder. In the meantime Ed is going to be eating a lot more salt in the next few days.
To take the tangent even further astray, I was heartbroken to read some posts on meds forums from people who take Pristiq. They are looking for a way out of their hell and are mostly met with silence.
It reinforced the beauty of what we have all created here. A safe place, open to all and sundry who can google, to find support, camaraderie and non-medical advice. :H
Cheers, mates!
:ls and real :h
Ne
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