Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Yowza. umm...hm...err. you do digress well. Or rather run with an underlying theme, or something. I'm a little tongue tied, at the moment.

I think this may indicate the little death of this thread. :sigh:

I've longed for a daily bac thread, something like they have on the other forums. It would be nice, in my humble opinion, to have a place to visit and catch up and direct new people should they happen to find it. (Assuming of course, that it doesn't wind up on page 10 in a day or two, with all of the wonderful activity going on here right now.)

I've been wracking my brain for something clever to start it out, and I've got nothing that isn't a distraction. So to the Daily Baclofen Thread?
:h friends

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Arbat, we crossed posts.
Leisure time is a real problem for me, too. Sorry it's so tough for you right now.
I'm glad you've decided to take action, and that you've got an idea in mind of how you want to do it.
I hope you'll stick around here and ask for help/guidance or just a hello when you want it. Lots to be gleaned, and it's fair to say that a number of us are staring at the computer looking for a way out. Everyone likes company.

[taw]

Progress thread for ne

Daily Bac Thread is a great idea!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Fickle me, it turns out I'm not ready to let this go. It helps me to have a place to indulge my alter-egos, fears and inspiration.

200mg for two more days. I so want to go up RIGHT NOW! but I'm going to try really hard to resist it. Drinking is way down, but I don't want to talk about it because it's Friday. Tomorrow's drinking usually starts early. No jinxes, will just take the (miraculous) damn pills and wait for the inevitable. God, I'm so excited.
Amends made and all smoothed over, for the moment, in the Ne home. And he's going to get an rx for bac tonight if he can reach the good doctor. Next step is completely up to him and I'm trying really, really hard to act ambivalent. And then I'm locking the bedroom door! And editing some more posts. :H He'd benefit from coming here, I think. And he'll just have to deal with the flirtation!
:l

[Isolde]

Progress thread for ne

Great news on the homefront, Nev!! Imagine both of you being bac'd out at the same time?? :H Crazy! I really hope he goes for it, and cannot wait to hear about the interaction of two people living together and both dealing with crazy bac side effects.
It'll be a whole new level of soap opera here!!

Good for you on not titrating up prematurely, even though you're itching to. Let us know how the weekend goes for ya. :l

[taw]

Progress thread for ne

Saturday is an early start for me drinking too....wondering how tomorrow will go for me!!!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Rusty, I saw somewhere else that you talked to the good doc. And that you liked him. He really is cool isn't he? One time when I talked to him he pulled out his new iPhone and looked up a drug interaction for me on that website. He was mumbling to himself about how convenient all these gadgets were, but I could swear that he said that the technology was "fucking cool." I almost choked! I'm guessing email is still a new technology in his world, too. lol.
Luv him.
Don't know if he's alkie or not. For some reason I think not? I have a 6th sense about AL men! Can pick 'em out from hundreds of miles away, even via airwaves, and am sure to fall in love. or something! :H But who knows? Every time I talk to him it's all about me! ha!
you weren't really flirting with a small furry stuffed animal, were you? you're gonna get in truuubbbblle! naughty nympho you.

[Bruunhilde]

Progress thread for ne

Everyone, thanks for this thread, it makes MWO feel more homey, which is what I need; sometimes I feel MWO isn't responsive to me, but it may just be that I can't follow up to see where people have responded, because I'm a dumbass expecting the site to show where someone responded to me, FaceBook style. How, otherwise, if you randomly post while spacey on bac or AL, can you figure out where you have a response?

Thanks NE for all the info, it's very helpful. And remember, this IS an anonymous forum, so you don't have to go back and delete or edit your embarrassing posts. Just that we're here would be embarrassing, measured by non-anonymous standards, ie, admitting we're drunks. So we need to keep remembering, we are granted freedom to be honest and open, and to forgive ourselves too. I'm beginning to think forgiveness is the key to the universe.....

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Hiya, Fletch. After a little while it doesn't feel that anonymous, to tell you the truth. But I suppose that's by choice! ha.
The thread tools button at the top will allow you to follow whether or not there is a new post on a thread, I think. I must have set it at some point, but don't remember now! (shocker.)

[taw]

Progress thread for ne

NE, are u here tonight?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Is, you asked about SEs a while back. I don't like those lists much anymore because I latched on to them so much in the beginning. And it's hard to say what's a side effect of AL abuse, AL withdrawal, bac, or some combination, you know?
That said, the sleep disturbance is clearly a bac SE and one that needs to be managed. I'm working on a solution for that. Melatonin is contra-indicated, ftr, adds to breathing issues. Same with benadryl or otc sleep aids.

Part of the problem, I think, is what OA describes in the book in this way:

...baclofen induced a state of of deep relaxation followed by somnolence, which left me clearheaded....Even when I dropped off to sleep, I awoke feeling mentally sharp... Even when baclofen made me somnolent, I was struck by how clear my mind was.
p167, ftr.

I wake in the middle of the night and feel wide awake and alert. There isn't really the fuzziness I associate with waking up to an alarm clock, or after a regular sleep. It's very easy to feel like I should get up and start my day, even at 2:30 am. But I'm not very alert or clear-headed, obviously. In fact, it has blurred the lines for me between being awake and being asleep.
I've had the experience twice in the last week of waking, having dreamed about something, and believing it was absolutely real. That it did in fact happen. The first time was about the OA email to Low. (ha.) That was dispelled pretty quickly and I was able to distinguish the dream from the reality.
Yesterday, though, I had it in my head that I'd had this long exchange and believed it to be real for most of the day. Very strange. I went looking for record of it, and when I couldn't find it, I thought it had been removed. I still didn't understand that I'd dreamed the conversation, if that makes sense? It only slowly dawned on me that I'd blurred fact and fantasy. Very, very strange. I had a similar experience last night, where I woke up thinking something true, but was able to see immediately that I was just dreaming, but sort of awake.
I think the blurring may be a result of insomnia, and sleep disturbance, as opposed to bac itself. I think I've read about people who go for days without sleep, because they're manic or on something, have a hard time distinguishing between real and not real.
So I'm going to stay in bed! No more late night MWO visits, chats or even reading the book I started several months ago!
I slept for a solid 5+ hours last night, and I hope that by sticking to a week long level of bac I can avoid the worst of the disruptions. We'll see.
The other SEs I can attribute to bac are the tingling hands and feet, sometimes lips, too. I'm dehydrated and no amount of water/lotion/balm seems to help. I haven't stuck to the omega regimine, though, and hope that helps.
My blood pressure is high for me. 130/80. It's normally very low.
My weight fluctuation had more to do with the holidays and the hormones than the bac. I'm obsessively measuring my belly, these days, though and think it's bigger. ha! I wonder if it has anything to do with the abundance of cheeseburgers I've been indulging in, and the lack of any weights at the gym for the last month??? So back to spinach and salmon and dumbells for me!
And the libido thing. I feel I might understand, for the first time ever, what it must be like to be a 17 year old boy. (okay, not really. they're alien creatures...)
Lastly, I'm not a runner until recently. I did it out of necessity before, but now it's a different experience. The high is downright euphoric. I haven't really experienced it with weights, yet, but looking forward to the experience. (I think loop just re-posted the info about this on the bac and exercise thread.)
On that note, I'm off to the gym to test the waters! Hope it's a good day (or whatever) for you all!

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

neva eva;1037750 wrote: It only slowly dawned on me that I'd blurred fact and fantasy. Very, very strange.

I do that to girls all the time ne. Don't feel bad. :k

Yes, guard your sleep. It's very easy to fill that time up with something else that seems more productive. I've gone for days before, I think, on very little sleep. I'm absolutely shocked at the amount of grace with which I handled a lot of my interpersonal communications in the last couple of months. Still, it seems wiser to get a little shut eye.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I bet! thanks...

Edit:
It happened on another occasion as well, it turns out. That one I didn't bother with looking into until yesterday, but it turns out the conversation never happened!
Sheesh, if I have to start looking into all of my hazy half-remembered memories I am in BIG trouble. ha.

[Lowcountryman]

Progress thread for ne

"So I'm going to stay in bed!"

I forgot. That's a good thing to do. I also woke up, got behind the computer and sit there for hours and hours.
Then I 'decided' to stay in bed after I woke up. Really nice feeling. Somewhere in between awakeness and sleep, reality and fantasy. Feeling great, having good fantasies and ideas, nowhere to go to and pure relaxation. Like floating in a warm bath.

When I was 17 I closely watched the pretty girls from 16 to 18. Now, 21 years later, heavily on Bac, I look at girls from 15 to 45, the ugly ones have all become pretty. Really, I'm breaking/aching my neck here!! I even had a pm-conversation about this with another member who experienced EXACTLY the same. At 400mg/d though, the ability to act accordingly to the felt need, seemed to have disappeared. I don't have a steady gf, so nobody complained luckily for me. And I didn't care (a man's got to make male sacrifices sometimes, I fear). Now, at 200 mg/d, the ability is back again and I'm still turning and turning my head

Low

[Seethepony]

Progress thread for ne

Lock up your daughters...