Progress thread for ne

[taw]

Progress thread for ne

Hey NE! how are you? did you get the job at the gym? How's hubby?

Btw, your posts always make me smile and feel better!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

It takes time

I did not have a good night. Not bad, in the scheme of things, but very little consistent sleep and seriously obsessing about MWO. That never leads to thoughtful posts first thing in the morning.
So I'm going to stick with the one theme that came back over and over in the night. The switch...
Newbies, forgive the unsolicited advice. This stuff takes time. You can quit drinking or not, you can exercise or not. Eat/don't. etc...
There are only a few of us that hit the switch at low doses, and some of them still drink, albeit by choice. (maybe? The beast lurks. be wary!)
There is almost no evidence that prn doses or changing up the dosing works. Be VERY wary.
There is ample evidence that the switch happens regardless of how much or how often you're drinking. In fact, the great majority of us were drinking up until we just stopped. Call it a decision. Call it a miracle. Call it whatever. I call it baclofen.
There is A LOT of evidence that the people who manage the SEs, who just slog through the highs and lows, are the ones who get there. Lots of fallen soldiers people. Of the fallen soldiers, I surmise that playing with how much baclofen, how often and when plays a great part in that. The SEs are no joke when they're bad. But like childbirth, (I imagine) you can (almost) forget the pain when the going gets good again. And it has gotten better for me almost immediately after each really bad episode. Take a good hard look at the Happyfeet thread, and the UKblonde thread. Do you want to end up in the ER, completely delusional and unable to get help with bac? Do you want to end up sober and miserable? Do you want your life to derail? The lessons I got from those two threads are these:

Stay the course. Do it sanely, with forethought. Prepare. Pill boxes, a notebook, lotion/balm, lots of water and caffeine.
Reach out. I might have given up if I wasn't regularly chatting/posting. (I doubt it, but who knows? And it's REALLY helped.) It doesn't have to be that hard.
Finally, pay attention to the ones who've made it. And to the guidance freely given by Dr. L and OA. THEY are the experts. Not us. Dr. L says that you'll reach the switch regardless of whether or not you're drinking. He told me that the chances were 99/100 that I'd get there...IF I stay the course and quit trying to speed it up by titrating too quickly. He told me that I might have to get to the high 200s in order to get there. (UGH!)

JUST KEEP TAKING THE DAMN PILLS!
I'll try to resist spray painting MWO this morning! No promises.
:h and :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Ig, my friend, you hurt my feelings yesterday. I know it wasn't intentional, sort of. And you're going to take this the wrong way. So be it. You're playing with fire. I swear to you I can see it/hear it/feel it. Paranoia, anger, inability to communicate, and lack of compassion... Those things are returning at a time when you need the ability to do them the most.
So take the g.d., m.fing pills and stand up! Or don't. We'll be here, if you have to do this all over again.
Sorry to take it here, but of all the lessons you've helped me with, this one sucks. And this venue is what I've got. Don't be too mad, please.
xo

[37degrees]

Progress thread for ne

NE,

If you don't mind me asking, what is your AL use in the past 2 weeks? From your posts,you are a big proponent of BAC, and already using a pretty high dose.

Just a straight-forward question: please don't read anything else into it.

Thanks.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Fair question, and one I've been avoiding, obviously.
I drank 2 glasses of wine last night.
An entire bottle the night before that.

I'm clearly not the bac poster child. There are many on here who are. I've listed them repeatedly. (Mog, Ig, Low, Phoenix, Lo0p etc...) Look to them, not me.
That said, 37, this stuff has changed me. In ways I've documented here repeatedly.

Part of it is that the obsession is mostly gone. I can leave work and do something other than rush home to drink. The last two nights I've come home, and then left again! For hours! That's unheard of.
So call it my weakness, lack of commitment, indecision, habit that I'm still drinking. It doesn't matter to me atm. I'm done chastising myself or being flogged by others about this. It takes time. It's working. That's enough for me.
And no, I don't think you were out of line, chastising or flogging! It's a fair question...
Glad you're around. Stick around. The minute I know, I'll pm you!
K

[beatle]

Progress thread for ne

neva eva;1040846 wrote:
So call it my weakness, lack of commitment, indecision, habit that I'm still drinking. It doesn't matter to me atm. I'm done chastising myself or being flogged by others about this. It takes time. It's working. That's enough for me.

Thank you Neva. I am in a very similar position to you, and I've been despairing (on and off) about not reaching the switch after 17 months (!) on bac. While it's always inspiring to read about all the successes, and it keeps me going, these days it often makes me feel more and more depressed, realizing I have been at it for this long and nowhere near the switch (I'm similar to your status, less obsession, less need, but still relentlessly drinking-- however, I think I am the only one with such a long record on bac -- you have not been on bac for a year and a half, have you?).

Anyway, the point is: thank you for this post. It helped me a lot.

[beatle]

Progress thread for ne

neva eva;1040817 wrote:
So I'm going to stick with the one theme that came back over and over in the night. The switch...
Newbies, forgive the unsolicited advice. This stuff takes time. You can quit drinking or not, you can exercise or not. Eat/don't. etc...
There are only a few of us that hit the switch at low doses, and some of them still drink, albeit by choice. (maybe? The beast lurks. be wary!)
There is almost no evidence that prn doses or changing up the dosing works. Be VERY wary.
There is ample evidence that the switch happens regardless of how much or how often you're drinking. In fact, the great majority of us were drinking up until we just stopped. Call it a decision. Call it a miracle. Call it whatever. I call it baclofen.
There is A LOT of evidence that the people who manage the SEs, who just slog through the highs and lows, are the ones who get there. Lots of fallen soldiers people. Of the fallen soldiers, I surmise that playing with how much baclofen, how often and when plays a great part in that. The SEs are no joke when they're bad. But like childbirth, (I imagine) you can (almost) forget the pain when the going gets good again. And it has gotten better for me almost immediately after each really bad episode. Take a good hard look at the Happyfeet thread, and the UKblonde thread. Do you want to end up in the ER, completely delusional and unable to get help with bac? Do you want to end up sober and miserable? Do you want your life to derail? The lessons I got from those two threads are these:

Stay the course. Do it sanely, with forethought. Prepare. Pill boxes, a notebook, lotion/balm, lots of water and caffeine.
Reach out. I might have given up if I wasn't regularly chatting/posting. (I doubt it, but who knows? And it's REALLY helped.) This is my THIRD try with baclofen. It doesn't have to be that hard.
Finally, pay attention to the ones who've made it. And to the guidance freely given by Dr. L and OA. THEY are the experts. Not us. Dr. L says that you'll reach the switch regardless of whether or not you're drinking. He told me that the chances were 99/100 that I'd get there...IF I stay the course and quit trying to speed it up by titrating too quickly. He told me that I might have to get to the high 200s in order to get there. (UGH!)

JUST KEEP TAKING THE DAMN PILLS!
I'll try to resist spray painting MWO this morning! No promises.
:h and :l

This is an amazing sum-up (and advice), Nev.

You put everything together in a succinct way, and your advice is inspiring. (except the caffeine part. )

I don't know why you warn Newbies, though. I wish somebody had consolidated this for me right at the beginning. I would probably have reached my switch by now if I had read this one post. For at least a year, I read every single other post about bac, and I consider myself extremely well-informed, but no one ever put it together so well as this (for me, anyway). Thank you.

[beatle]

Progress thread for ne

p.s. I strongly urge you to start a new thread with the basic contents of your post (above). Otherwise it will get lost, and most newbies (and others who don't follow the threads so closely) will never find it where it is now.

[bleep69]

Progress thread for ne

Excuse my ignorance, what does prn dose mean? I've seen it a few times here.

[Bruunhilde]

Progress thread for ne

PRN means "as needed" I believe.

[bleep69]

Progress thread for ne

Thanks fletch and Bruunhilde, and neva for your reply in another post...

What does it stand for?

[Bruunhilde]

Progress thread for ne

No clue....

[Isolde]

Progress thread for ne

I've been wondering what prn stands for since I read it in OA's book. I know what it means, but apparently nobody knows what it stand for! :H

[Bruunhilde]

Progress thread for ne

PRN
Pray Right Now?
Pain Really Nasty...
Pissed Right Now!

:yo:

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

beatle;1040942 wrote: This is an amazing sum-up (and advice), Nev. ...
I am in awe at how well you put everything together. And your advice is inspiring.

beatle, I hope you don't take the following the wrong way.
You are one of the ones that I've followed back and forth through the threads. It's fair to say that I've read almost everything you've written. More than once. Your mind is awe-inspiring, as is your determination. The knowledge you've accumulated about this disease... left me despairing of my own lack of understanding on more than one occasion. And eager to find out more.

There have also been a couple of times when you've called me to the table, whether you knew it or not. and hoo boy, it stung. Each time your reaction was apt, and helped me see my own fallibility. Thank you for that.

You keep this place real, and when you stopped posting regularly I was pretty upset about it.
Thank you! sorry to gush. Hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable.

As to the rest, it took OA a very long time to find the solution. Willingness to explore the options, and to 'go to any lengths', to find our own solution is the crux of the matter.
More on that in a moment.
I'm with you in the battle.