Progress thread for ne
:H
I'll take a hearty 75, bleep. With eyes to 100. and more, with extra credit for outright stubborness.
I talked to Ig yesterday. (yay! phone time with a mwo friend. This becomes more real day by day, thank sort of)
He?s off the boards atm, so hasn?t been following along.
Anyway, here's my interpretation of our conversation:
I caught him up, and he said, essentially, ?wait. You drank last night?? yes. ?And they think you?ve hit the switch?? yes. ???(dead silence)?..?
Ha. That about sums it up. Miss you brother!
I was despairing, despairing, despairing yesterday evening. The mood swings in my case have more to do with the lack of sleep and new found (relative) sobriety than anything else.
I talked with my husband about it, (!yay!) and we agreed that the last time we got sober the emotional turbulence was pretty profound. We also agreed that even though the booze I'm consuming is next to nothing, very 'normal', it makes me feel badly about all of this. About my unwillingness to commit to sobriety. About whether or not this stuff works, and despair over how high I'll have to go in order to reach indifference. So no more booze in the apartment. If I have a burning need I'll stop by the bar up the street and walk home after a shot. That place skeeves me out, especially in the early evening, so not to worry about Ne becoming a barfly! Not my scene!
I don't know what to think about Dr. L's take re. the genetics etc. Alcoholism riddles my family going back several generations on both sides. But what difference does that make? Especially in the face of so much evidence that others have found a much more gentle way to the switch when they were able to moderate/quit drinking?
I'm not giving up or giving in, not by any stretch. 320mg/day isn't so bad, in the scheme of things. I'm used to the SEs, at this point. I know I'm healthy and my body has a lot of give in it. That said, there are limits to my endurance. I'll stay at 320 for a little while, see if I can navigate the emotional upheaval and stay completely sober. I still really miss getting drunk, but that's not even an option. the price we have to pay, right? I don't think I could go down enough at this point to find that happy drunk place anytime soon. (Maybe that's the 'safety net' of bac, for me. I don't recommend it. But it's still worth EVERY minute. EVERY last SE, and all the other bull shit.)
Is, from that movie you mentioned, can't remember the name, atm... "Get busy living or get busy dying." Tim Robbins' character. [edit: shawshank redemption. Not referring to you. I loved that quote and watched the movie because you mentioned it. so shout out!]
37, YAY! wooop woop. Being stoned sucks, but the low doses are the worst, imho. Have a little faith, it goes a long way. And if you can't have faith go the distance. [edit. bossy aren't I? sorry.]
beatle, your 'responsibility' in terms of talking to the good doctor, is to and for you. I know I mentioned that, but I wanted to point it out publicly. (I wish I'd known that. I've wasted some precious time with him talking about concerns that came up on here instead of my own.) If someone would like to know more information, they should call him. I imagine he's tired of hearing from doubters, but he is a gracious and kind man. And not easily swayed. And he's funny as hell. Email isn't very effective, btw. [I'm sorry for being presumptuous and pushy! rock on]
As to the hallucinations? I wonder how in tune or in touch with the SEs he and OA are, and how much we keep from them? even unintentionally.
Finally, British sister:
What bleep said. You weighed in with advice to a newbie yesterday about titration schedule. Please stop doing that. No advice to newbies, please. please. The rest? Feel free to bring it here. I'm game. Or pick one of your threads and let it all hang out. It has worked for me, and helps others. I'm done ignoring [edit... deleted because I was being a bitch] , but I will find it very hard not to point out how ridiculous it is that you are giving titration advice, even if it's a reflection of what you've read here.
XOXOXO sister.
And of course, that goes without saying to all the rest of my brothers and sisters!
:h
K
:H
I'll take a hearty 75, bleep. With eyes to 100. and more, with extra credit for outright stubborness.
I talked to Ig yesterday. (yay! phone time with a mwo friend. This becomes more real day by day, thank sort of)
He?s off the boards atm, so hasn?t been following along.
Anyway, here's my interpretation of our conversation:
I caught him up, and he said, essentially, ?wait. You drank last night?? yes. ?And they think you?ve hit the switch?? yes. ???(dead silence)?..?
Ha. That about sums it up. Miss you brother!
I was despairing, despairing, despairing yesterday evening. The mood swings in my case have more to do with the lack of sleep and new found (relative) sobriety than anything else.
I talked with my husband about it, (!yay!) and we agreed that the last time we got sober the emotional turbulence was pretty profound. We also agreed that even though the booze I'm consuming is next to nothing, very 'normal', it makes me feel badly about all of this. About my unwillingness to commit to sobriety. About whether or not this stuff works, and despair over how high I'll have to go in order to reach indifference. So no more booze in the apartment. If I have a burning need I'll stop by the bar up the street and walk home after a shot. That place skeeves me out, especially in the early evening, so not to worry about Ne becoming a barfly! Not my scene!
I don't know what to think about Dr. L's take re. the genetics etc. Alcoholism riddles my family going back several generations on both sides. But what difference does that make? Especially in the face of so much evidence that others have found a much more gentle way to the switch when they were able to moderate/quit drinking?
I'm not giving up or giving in, not by any stretch. 320mg/day isn't so bad, in the scheme of things. I'm used to the SEs, at this point. I know I'm healthy and my body has a lot of give in it. That said, there are limits to my endurance. I'll stay at 320 for a little while, see if I can navigate the emotional upheaval and stay completely sober. I still really miss getting drunk, but that's not even an option. the price we have to pay, right? I don't think I could go down enough at this point to find that happy drunk place anytime soon. (Maybe that's the 'safety net' of bac, for me. I don't recommend it. But it's still worth EVERY minute. EVERY last SE, and all the other bull shit.)
Is, from that movie you mentioned, can't remember the name, atm... "Get busy living or get busy dying." Tim Robbins' character. [edit: shawshank redemption. Not referring to you. I loved that quote and watched the movie because you mentioned it. so shout out!]
37, YAY! wooop woop. Being stoned sucks, but the low doses are the worst, imho. Have a little faith, it goes a long way. And if you can't have faith go the distance. [edit. bossy aren't I? sorry.]
beatle, your 'responsibility' in terms of talking to the good doctor, is to and for you. I know I mentioned that, but I wanted to point it out publicly. (I wish I'd known that. I've wasted some precious time with him talking about concerns that came up on here instead of my own.) If someone would like to know more information, they should call him. I imagine he's tired of hearing from doubters, but he is a gracious and kind man. And not easily swayed. And he's funny as hell. Email isn't very effective, btw. [I'm sorry for being presumptuous and pushy! rock on]
As to the hallucinations? I wonder how in tune or in touch with the SEs he and OA are, and how much we keep from them? even unintentionally.
Finally, British sister:
What bleep said. You weighed in with advice to a newbie yesterday about titration schedule. Please stop doing that. No advice to newbies, please. please. The rest? Feel free to bring it here. I'm game. Or pick one of your threads and let it all hang out. It has worked for me, and helps others. I'm done ignoring [edit... deleted because I was being a bitch] , but I will find it very hard not to point out how ridiculous it is that you are giving titration advice, even if it's a reflection of what you've read here.
XOXOXO sister.
And of course, that goes without saying to all the rest of my brothers and sisters!
:h
K
, what's to worry?
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