Progress thread for ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[TracyA]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1080525 wrote:
My tightly held beliefs, my very rigidity about this, might undermine the whole process as easily and effectively as not taking baclofen . . . I have been thoroughly indoctrinated in the only model of treatment we have for this disease for twenty years.

Me too, Ne. The first time I heard of using other meds to combat the SE's, my knee-jerk reaction was disapproval (even freaked out about it). But we, each of us individually, knows what hasn't worked in the past. There is nothing new from medicine, and the "traditional model" of wisdom has not helped me at all. The whole bac thing is radical anyway, but I see real hope for myself. It took a while, but I'm willing to jump some hoops and take some risks to make the baclofen work. There were, literally, thousands of times that I might have killed someone while driving drunk. I don't want a life where I'm at constantly at risk of putting other people in that kind of jeopardy, to say nothing of causing pain to my family, etc. If I hurt myself trying to put an end to all that, it's a worthy sacrifice, IMO.

Don't know if that makes any sense.

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1080525 wrote: If taking a couple of pills a month to help me sleep or relax isn?t going to make me an addict, will a couple of beers?

This is just a highly personal opinion but, for me, the simple fact that I can drink whatever, whenever and however much I want to makes me feel like I am not an addict.

I must say (and this could also be highly personal) that I think Dr. L has hit the nail on the head regarding his recommending/prescribing xanax with baclofen. I sleep very well now and have no tolerance issues. I use it for sleep and anxiety. For anxiety I use it only when symptoms arise or when I know they will. I log every single dose on my droid. After six weeks, neither my dose or my tolerance has increased. He assures me it will decrease over time as my anxiety decreases.

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Ne/Neva Eva;1080525 wrote: I can actually hold two opposing ideas in my head without harmful repercussions to myself or anyone else! In spite of my early education, nationality or gender. And my head did not implode. :H

I have a name for that. I call it cognitive dissonance. I do it often with all kinds of things (fatalism and free will, love and hate). I do it often in an overt attempt to get my head to implode. But for fucks sake it just gets bigger...

[Bruunhilde]

Progress thread for ne

Off topic but thought you'd be interested Karen.

Running Barefoot: Training Tips

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Apologies in advance for being a bit uncouth, but all I hear is" "blah blah blah, blah blah blah. I haven't actually hit the switch. blah, blah blah blah."

I'm sure others will chime in here soon with words of support, praising your insight and identifying with your situation.

If you want to live like that (and it's it's not a bad way to live at all, especially considering where you came from) then go right on ahead. Nobody's going to stop you and all you'll get here is a voluminous of support that'll never end. But preemptively please let me say this: It makes me just a little sick to my stomach when I read shit like this. And even worse when the affirmations from everyone else who also don't know any better start to roll in.

I'm glad I got up early this morning before I had to read all that crap. I probably wouldn't have responded.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

I posted this on this thread in January of this year.

Ne/Neva Eva;1040817 wrote: I did not have a good night. Not bad, in the scheme of things, but very little consistent sleep and seriously obsessing about MWO. That never leads to thoughtful posts first thing in the morning.
So I'm going to stick with the one theme that came back over and over in the night. The switch...
Newbies, forgive the unsolicited advice. This stuff takes time. You can quit drinking or not, you can exercise or not. Eat/don't. etc...
There are only a few of us that hit the switch at low doses, and some of them still drink, albeit by choice. (maybe? The beast lurks. be wary!)
There is almost no evidence that prn doses or changing up the dosing works. Be VERY wary.
There is ample evidence that the switch happens regardless of how much or how often you're drinking. In fact, the great majority of us were drinking up until we just stopped. Call it a decision. Call it a miracle. Call it whatever. I call it baclofen.
There is A LOT of evidence that the people who manage the SEs, who just slog through the highs and lows, are the ones who get there. Lots of fallen soldiers people. Of the fallen soldiers, I surmise that playing with how much baclofen, how often and when plays a great part in that. The SEs are no joke when they're bad. But like childbirth, (I imagine) you can (almost) forget the pain when the going gets good again. And it has gotten better for me almost immediately after each really bad episode. Take a good hard look at the Happyfeet thread, and the (EDIT:removed name) thread. Do you want to end up in the ER, completely delusional and unable to get help with bac? Do you want to end up sober and miserable? Do you want your life to derail? The lessons I got from those two threads are these:

Stay the course. Do it sanely, with forethought. Prepare. Pill boxes, a notebook, lotion/balm, lots of water and caffeine.
Reach out. I might have given up if I wasn't regularly chatting/posting. (I doubt it, but who knows? And it's REALLY helped.) This is my THIRD try with baclofen. It doesn't have to be that hard.
Finally, pay attention to the ones who've made it. And to the guidance freely given by Dr. L and OA. THEY are the experts. Not us. Dr. L says that you'll reach the switch regardless of whether or not you're drinking. He told me that the chances were 99/100 that I'd get there...IF I stay the course and quit trying to speed it up by titrating too quickly. He told me that I might have to get to the high 200s in order to get there. (UGH!)

All that said, I'm going up to 240 on Saturday, unless 220 sucks, which frankly it might. So I'm going to do my best to go AF tonight (Thursday) and tomorrow night. It doesn't sound like 240 was fun for anyone, from terryk to ig to low... and many more. It might be better to face it sober, though I'm unconvinced.
JUST KEEP TAKING THE DAMN PILLS!
I'll try to resist spray painting MWO this morning! No promises.
:h and :l
beatle;1040942 wrote: This is an amazing sum-up (and advice), Nev.

You put everything together in a succinct way, and your advice is inspiring. (except the caffeine part. )

I don't know why you warn Newbies, though. I wish somebody had consolidated this for me right at the beginning. I would probably have reached my switch by now if I had read this one post. For at least a year, I read every single other post about bac, and I consider myself extremely well-informed, but no one ever put it together so well as this (for me, anyway). Thank you.

It still rings true to me. I had to go up to 340mg. Achieved that over the next 3 weeks by rushing it. The SEs were terrible. The result was exactly what I'd hoped for.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Kind of an edit.

Okay so I hadn't read the quote by Henrietta yet. You sound a little depressed, it's a bit unlike you.

I've been talking to Is lately about cycling your dosage up and down over weeks/days to avoid the waves of the blues that it seems baclofen might sometimes cause. I'm not sure she's developed it into something that's ready to post on the forum. Maybe talk to her.

Or continue to talk in the same vain...but I have a feeling something is going on here and you might feel differently in a couple of days.

Is this something new or an overriding theme you've noticed the whole time? Because it sounds like something a little more transient to me.

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

Damn it Ne, I haven't had my coffee yet and now you're gonna make me go and read some more...

Well no, I think I misunderstood what you were saying when I posted at first. At least I hope so.

[Lo0p]

Progress thread for ne

I think I'm gonna lay back down and pick this up in the morning.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[bleep]

Progress thread for ne

Not entirely sure what the previous few posts are all about, but it doesn't seem important, I think?

Good to hear you are in such a positive space Ne. When are you going to change your username to one or the other?