Progress thread for ne

[Doggygirl]

Progress thread for ne

Ne, reading about your day yesterday has put a smile on my face to start my day here. I connected with an old friend yesterday...something in the air regarding friendships perhaps?

I think we all have to find our way in recovery and figure out what works for us. I was already 8 months sober when I started going to those meetings. Even some of the people there wondered what I was doing there. I love the discussions and introspections. I have come to realize that many of my difficulties with life are of my own creation, and a change in my thinking and approach can make life easier. So yeah...I'll take some of that. Do whatever helps you, I say.

I am so excited you are taking a writing class!!!! You are such a good writer anyway...imagine fine tuning that. I'm on the record now with a request for a signed book, OK?

Have a great day - from one annoyingly perky person to another. :H

DG

[bleep]

Progress thread for ne

What's up Reggie?

[Murphyx]

Progress thread for ne

bleep;1094064 wrote: Murph, while we are on URL's, do you have the new French one? I can't find the original post that gives it, and can't find my way back there. Sorry for slight derail NE.

Forum baclofene et alcool - Un NOUVEAU forum d'entraide pour ceux qui ont un probleme avec l'alcoolisme, arrêter de boire, en finir avec l'alcool

[bleep]

Progress thread for ne

Many thanks.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

Reggie!

grrrr. You did it AGAIN!

DUDE! STOP! DON'T HIT THE BUTTON! WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

as to the drinking thing. It's such a struggle, isn't it? It was for me initially. Indifference makes it really, really easy for me to think I can have *a* drink and not suffer the consequences. Turns out that's true!

Long, long struggles in other addiction therapy tells me, ad infinitum (?) that I MUST NOT DRINK. To drink is to die. Turns out that's not true, in my case.

Neither of those are things that family and friends who don't suffer from this disease will EVER understand. I'm so glad to have that as food for thought, because I'm with my parents this weekend and I was very tempted to tell them that I am able to drink, or not, like a "normal" person. Even though I'm not so sure it's true. And they would be DEVASTATED. And think I was lying and that this bac thing was just another bull shit attempt to be able to drink again.

phew and whew. I'm so glad I don't care about booze anymore. Drink? Not drink? It doesn't matter, so if it would upset them, I just don't have to drink. No worries.

But it wasn't so long ago that I HAD to drink. And I haven't forgotten what that felt like. So even a beer makes me feel like I've failed. Regardless of whether or not it's "failure" it makes me feel badly about myself. I don't like that feeling at all.
xo peeps.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

okay, I'm pissed off (US-angry, not UK-drunk) and out of sorts and had a little rant here. I can't just delete it, 'cause that's just wrong. I don't actually know how to edit it to reflect something else, since I disagree with a good deal of what Murphy had to write... I'll say this: bac works. period. The rest still stands.

hmmm. and grrrr.
I just returned from a peaceful weekend in the country with people I adore. The weekend was, as usual, AF for me. While I have enjoyed the random 1/2 beer or even full one a couple of times in the last month, being indifferent to AL, it doesn't matter to me whether I drink or not, for the most part. I didn't want to, so I didn't. Until today.

I decided to taper down to 180mg yesterday after being at 200mg for the last week or so. For the most part decreasing my dosage has been fairly effortless. I will forget a pill, for a day or two, and notice it only at the next dose. This time is different.

I dropped off my friend and hightailed it home, stopping only to get beer. Opened one before I unpacked and turned on the comp to catch up... I was beginning to feel a lessening, a loosening of the neeeeeeed as I read my emails and caught up on mwo and drank a beer. I debated about writing some friends, posting here... Then I read this:

Murphyx;1095550 wrote: When there's nothing extraordinary happening, no descent into drunkenness, no bizarre side effects, no sudden connection with a new god, there doesn't seem much point in updating our threads. ... Because those who have achieved that which they were looking for with baclofen, a rewiring of the brain to become normal again, tend not to update very often. This leaves noobs with the mistaken impression that baclofen is a dangerous and difficult medicine.

It works and it needn't be too difficult. It doesn't matter what your gender, your age, how much you previously drank or for how long. It doesn't matter whether you have a relationship with a deity. It doesn't matter if you have 20 years of AA under your belt and all the fucking 'tools' in the world. Baclofen does what it says on the tin; baclofen works!

For everyone who is looking into baclofen, wondering whether they should try it. Whether this is the thing that will save them from a life of alcoholism; the thing that will save their lives...read Isolde's last post. This shit is the real deal.

Just because this forum is stuffed full of people's stories about how hard they are finding baclofen, how they are suffering from new, extraordinary side effects every week, it doesn't mean that's what you should expect. Most people take baclofen, get cured and move on. They don't keep posting on this forum. Why should they? They've got what they want and they move on. But because most threads here are full of people asking for help with their problems, it gives a lopsided view of baclofen.

Most people don't suffer the freaky side effects. Full stop!

thanks for reminding everyone that baclofen is THE cure. And one more time:
Hey noobs, Baclofen works!

And it made me feel bad. And now I'm mad.

I'm one of the ones with a many-paged thread dedicated and devoted to the many varied ways that baclofen sucked for me. It sucked. Flat out, no-holds-barred, worst thing I've ever willingly done to my body sucked. I took me 7 months and tapering up to 340mg of bac to get some relief from my disease. I couldn't have gone any faster, I don't think, and I wouldn't have found relief much sooner, maybe. It was my process. I own it. I won't have it dismissed.

I have the same angst, the same issues, the same everything that I did two days ago, with one exception. I have 20mg less bac in my body than I did yesterday. Today I had a white-hot-burning-need. Yesterday, I couldn't have cared less. I have, presumably, enough bac in my system to make a decision about whether or not I'll get really drunk. I think the truth is that I'll feel pretty awful physically after this (my second) beer that I won't want another. But the first one? That was liquid gold. (This one isn't so bad either.)

While I applaud anyone who finds success, however they find it, and whenever. I... hmmmm, resent the implication that Side Effects are a non-issue. I'll leave it at that, for this forum. (but someone can expect an email. pffft.)

Yes, Newbies, it works. Yes, for those of you in the thick of it, it can suck. You have a choice to make. Find indifference. Or not. It may fuck you up. It may fuck up your life. It did both of those things for me. It was still worth it for me.

On that note, I think I'll go turn on some music, unpack, and enjoy this beer. It may be the last one that matters for another good long while!
xo
Ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

For those of you in the thick of it, and suffering, and not sure if this is the right way, or the right medicine: The last post is NOT directed at you. Not by any stretch. Just the opposite.

xxoo and hugs.
Ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[Cinders]

Progress thread for ne

Ne,

I find it fascinating that going down 20 mgs/day after such great results ended up with you wanting to drink again.

It sounds like you need to stay "up there" awhile at your switch dose to get healed.

I, too, will continue to post about my SEs because others who are just starting out and experiencing them might give up if they don't realize others are going through them and making it.

So keep posting, Ne!! Your thread has been a huge help to me.

Ignore those who want to minimize what you had to go through to get where you are today. It was your journey and you did it!!

Love,
Cindi

[terryk]

Progress thread for ne

About a month and a half ago I dropped down to 240 (from 280), After about 3 days I thought about beer *a lot*. I even had one at the pub, and it did nothing for me, couldn't even finish it. But I still couldn't stop thinking about it. Back up to 260 and I found effortless indifference again. A couple of days ago I went back down to 240. Lots of beer thoughts in my mind. Last night (Saturday), home alone, thought all night about just going out and having one....Wasn't worried about having more than one, but I couldn't bring myself to make the effort. ???? -tk

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Progress thread for ne

x

[beatle]

Progress thread for ne

I also believe it is important to post SEs. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the wonderful (thank you, especially to Bleep for that part!).

I once advised against it in a thread started about adverse reactions to baclofen (can somebody please find that thread and post the link to it?). I advised against sharing negative SEs because I was worried about putting newcomers off (as Murphy seems to be worried about).

And then I deleted my post that expressed that concern, which was a stupid thing to do... especially since many of the following posts referred specifically to my voicing that concern, and explaining why it was important to talk about negative SEs. (NOTE: deleting posts messes up everything that follows and detracts greatly from the value of these forums for those who come later.)

The point here is that there are major SEs, and most people do experience some, if not many (regardless of age, gender, whatever is not quite true, either, but ok, we'll leave that for another time). Some people have few, others many, and many quit because of them.

It's just the truth and nothing but the truth so help me bac. (I'm sure i mangled that one terribly)

Everybody's individual experience is relevant and valuable. And even if we were all following a common protocol (which we very obviously are not!), we would have different reactions, so sharing those reactions (especially on one's own thread), makes sense.

(I just realized I am posting this hours after other posts have been made, so it is likely irrelevant by now... that's ok, I'm used to it)

[beatle]

Progress thread for ne

oh, yes, I'd also like to mention that I almost quit bac because of SEs until I read here that others experienced similar SEs. It's good to whine sometimes.

[Bruunhilde]

Progress thread for ne

Helloooooo y'all, checking in and wanted to state that gross generalizations made by people are always wrong. ALWAYS. Why do you think they call them gross?

Just because, for example, it was possible for Donald Trump to make his fortune easily, doesn't mean his formula will work for anyone else (much less the USA, should he actually run for president, God help us).

Same goes for baclofen being successful or working for everyone. Or for the secret to becoming AF, for losing weight, for regrowing hair, for getting pregnant, for getting rich, for getting a job, for not getting cancer, etc.

I don't understand why it's so difficult to understand that everyone is different, and we know relatively little about the human body after all. Like we know very little about the meaning of life, unless we are Monty Python fans of course (in which case we know everything).

Hey Ne, would love to grab a glass of wine with ya and not drink it together.